CHAPTER SIX

Emma stood arms crossed staring out of the windows at the back of the cabin, watching the wake caused by the boat as the sun finally rose, trying to shut out the sound of laughter cut by the occasional agonised scream. Her mother had warned her about pirates, about Hook. She hadn't listened, seeing in him only a charming liar, a thief or smuggler. Nothing like the monster that had danced around the deck, his hooked hand menacing grown men to do his bidding as he rended flesh, until he was nothing more than a bloodsoaked beast lifted from the darkest tales.

She'd been so certain she could handle him; that she knew the type of man he was. But this was Neverland, and before that he was from a land of twisted fairytales, where no one and nothing was ever what it seemed. The dashing Pirate Captain from the stories, was still dashing, but he was also as dark and dangerous as any villain, with his own demons.

The lock clicked and Emma paused, knowing that the only person who would dare cross the threshold of this room now and probably ever again, was him. Her shoulders tensed as she felt him enter the room, the white hot fury that she'd felt him all but lash her with before seemed to seep in with him. Emma turned, the blood soaked man in front of her stared back, his eyes dark pits of misery and malice. He said nothing, crossing to the mirror and examining his blood splattered appearance as he picked up a rag and began to clean himself down. Emma swallowed bile, she hadn't thrown up, but the sight of him now twisted her stomach into knots and the images seared forever behind her eyes came rushing back. She needed to say something, distract herself, distract him. Emma could see the change in him, whatever that was up there, it had reverted him, there was barely a trace of the rogue that had sworn to protect her honour. Now more than ever, she needed the charming rogue... because she sure as hell couldn't handle the monstrous alternative, not without her gun pointed between his eyes.

The only solution was to treat him like nothing had changed. Say what she'd have said if she hadn't watched him tear a magical heart from a man's chest and disembowel another. "You were right." She acknowledged, seeing his eyes flicker to her in the mirror as he picked up a jug of water and upended it over his head, shaking the red tinged droplets from his hair like it was an every day occurrence. "You are nothing like him." She bit off, referring to her ex and one of their earlier conversations, one she knew he'd valued, apparently enough for him to catch her meaning now; his darkened expression only confirmed it.

"What would you have me do darling?" He sounded tired now, bone weary and she felt herself pause, she knew what he had done, knew some of why he had done it, did his motives really matter? Was she even so sure that he hadn't done it solely because his men had betrayed him? He crossed his arms, seeming content to let her stew about him as he stared through the mirror. "I am the Captain of a Pirate ship. Most of the time I keep control with my charming wit and keen ability to guide them to treasure and adventure." He smiled thinly, finally turning to stare at her directly, peeling his now soaked and stained leather jersey off his chest and dropping it to the floor in a wet mess, his shirt followed, leaving him bare-chested and showing her the extent to which he'd had to defend his position with every scarred mark on his revealed skin. "And when that fails... I am forced to keep the peace the only way a man can when surrounded by sharks. By being the first and last to bite."

Emma sucked in a breath in surprise she didn't appreciate the visual reminder; but apparently nothing was ever simple, no one was black and white... if he could be believed at all. Perhaps this was just a game he was playing now, pretend to be the guilt ridden bad guy riddled with self loathing, whilst trying to reform, to do the right thing deep down inside? It was weak even in her desperate state, she'd of sneered at him if she hadn't been so worried how he might respond. Nowhere in him was the idiot fop of the Disney story, maybe he was closer to the book version, but she'd never read it so she couldn't be sure. But she was sure of this, he was a wicked blade masked by a charming smile and she had placed her life firmly in his hands. Fool me twice, shame on me. Apparently she'd learnt nothing since Neil.

But she could play along into his remorseful, 'I had no choice', fantasises just fine. "Why be this? Why not do something else?" she asked, seeing his smile turn almost winsomely charming as he chuckled, which disturbed her all the more because a part of her wanted to do nothing more than believe him, pretend right along with him. Whatever the hell he was, whatever he'd done, she was horrified to think that he might have actually succeeded in making her care. Which was ridiculous, she didn't think she could save him... she couldn't be that deluded.

Hook was still chuckling, looking genuinely contrite, before his laughter snapped off, like he'd flicked a switch, his gaze grew hard and his tone clipped. "Don't misunderstand me Love. I am this. I live for this, for the sea, for the adventure, for the Captaincy of my ship, for the fear and respect of the men and the adoration of the lasses. I might have once had a more forgiving nature, but I assure you, Rumplestiltskin cured me of that and gave me an outlet for the rage that courses through my blood."

Emma swallowed thickly, understanding now what his promise to her had truly meant back in the forest, of the true nature of his dark desires for revenge on the man that had turned him so completely into a monster. "Do we still have a deal Hook?" Emma queried, feeling the need now more than ever to lay her cards on the deck so to speak. Although having seen him, seen the truth of him here in Neverland, she wondered if he hadn't lied through that promise after all.

Hook stepped closer, she wanted to step back, to step away from that hooked hand now she knew what he used it for, but she forced herself to stand her ground. "What deal was that Love?" he smirked, his charming mask sliding back into place as his chest glistened with water, clinging to the remnants of another man's last gasp for life.

She knew it was a long shot, technically when Cora and the dust had failed them both, all bets were off, but she owed it to herself to try, to the town, to Henry. "That if we ever get back to Storybrooke, you'll stay your hand, your revenge, until I say otherwise?"

Hook was still, his eyes scanning her but looking for what she was no longer sure. "No." he admitted and Emma nodded, expecting nothing less but impressed at least with his honesty. "But I will make a new deal." His smile invited you in... she wasn't biting.

"No need." She stepped around him, sitting down on his chintzy Chaise longue and propping her feet up, trying to keep some measure of control in their dealings, which given as she was now thoroughly terrified of the man before her, was harder than she imagined. "We aren't going to reach Storybrooke." She smiled thinly at him, "And the only other promise between us, was yours to protect my honour..." her words cut, "I think you failed at that. So I don't think I'll be making any more bargains with you Captain Hook."

Hook was still again and she held her nerve, aware now of the fury that stillness hid and not eager to give it a target, she had no intention of ever being at the mercy of his curved blade, not after his little demonstration.

"You think me a monster?" he asked finally, crossing to her seated form, forcing her to stare up at him. Standing would be to admit that he was intimidating her, so she leant back feigning indifference.

"I think nothing of you." Emma retorted, keeping her inflection as innocent as possible, whilst letting her meaning remain ambiguous, trying to find a rhythm with him and some way back to their safer banter.

"Pity." He admitted finally, turning away from her. "I think the world of you." he gave her one of his megawatt smiles that twisted her stomach, only now it twisted in something other than misplaced attraction and bile rose at the thought of the situation she'd let herself be drawn into.

He shirked the remainder of his filthy clothes off, exposing his bare ass to her averted gaze as he pulled fresh garments from the ornate wooden chest in the corner of the room. If he was aware of her eyes unwillingly drawn to him, he made no mention of it. Only turning when he was dressed once more, his leather tunic retrieved from the floor as he sat at the table, propping his feet up and setting to work scrubbing it clean. Apparently happy to ignore her... she could live with that.

The day passed slowly, Hook left her alone for large parts of it, she heard his booming voice above once or twice as she distracted herself with the contents of his quarters. He had books, enough of them for it to be more than idle curiosity, she picked up the spines, entertaining herself with the contents of the first one. It was a novel, about a dashing Navy captain. Wishful thinking she imagined.

As the sun began to set, she became distinctly aware of the hollow pit in her stomach. She hadn't eaten anything in days and it was starting to make her lightheaded. Hook clearly read her mind, because when he returned he was flanked by a young looking pirate, clearly still in his teens who was balancing a tray of food piled high, which he proceeded nervously to lay out on the large wooden table.

"Emma darling." Hook indicated for her to take a seat. "You must be famished. Come eat with me." As he eased himself into the high backed chair at the head of the table. The young boy finished his task, swept Hook a nervous respectful nod and hurried out of the room without a word or glance in her direction.

"His first mutiny." Hook followed her gaze, "Teach 'em young, you never have to show 'em again." He smiled grimly, his accent changing to match a gruffer mans speech pattern. "Sit." He instructed when she didn't crack a smile.

Emma did as he instructed, it was a more impressive spread than she'd seen in sometime, they'd made do with whatever they could catch or shoot in the forest. But she could tell that there was meat, fresh fruits and vegetables, and an array of fish, with an entire jug of a thick dark liquid she assumed was some sort of wine or ale.

"I'm surprised you didn't take the opportunity to change out of those filthy clothes." He noted as she sunk into the seat furthest from him. She wasn't in the least bit surprised when he stood and appropriated the seat directly beside her instead. Emma didn't respond, unsure what he wanted her to say and not wanting to start a row when the chance of food was before her. He seemed to sense her anxiety because he sighed, sliding a plate in front of her. "Eat." He bit out sounding infuriated. "For heaven's sake woman, I promised you I wouldn't harm you. That includes not starving you, so eat. Nothing has changed." The unspoken knowledge that everything had changed, passed between them both.

Emma eyed him uneasily as she reached out, taking a leg of meat and biting into it with relief to find that it was as good as it looked.

He smirked. "You'll find my dear, that the one thing Neverland does extremely well is food. Almost as though what you wish for seems to make itself known. I once had a craving for squid that was so strong, we ended up trifling with a forty foot beast. As you can imagine, I've never really felt the urge again."

Emma swallowed carefully trying and failing not to crack a smile which seemed to only make his wider. "I'll be sure not to get a hankering for the Loch Ness Monster." He frowned his smile only faltering slightly as he got her intention, but not quite the reference.

"So, Emma." He settled back into his seat, watching her eat and looking thrilled that she was at least doing that quietly beside him. "Tell me what your favourite food is back in this magic-less world of yours. Perhaps I can get our cook to make something similar, he's very good. Most hygienic member of the crew." His grin was all teasing as she paused eating to consider the conditions in the kitchen and thought better of thinking about it at all.

He was trying, even she had to admit that, and if she was going to spend what might be a very long time on this boat, unchanging, then she needed to at least be civil to the psychopath. Not that it had worked for her with the Mad Hatter. What was it with men from this fairytale world? Did they all have a few screws loose?

He was still waiting so she cleared her throat, taking a sip of the drink which did indeed seem to be some sort of wine. "Well, I don't know. Most of what people eat in my world is processed crap." He frowned. "Cupcakes are good." She commented. "Hot chocolate." She smiled at the thought. "Guess you can't beat a steak or a burger," he was staring, "Red meat." She clarified and he nodded, pleased to have something familiar. "Pizza." She sighed, "Pizza and ice cream. Ok those I might have to try and get him to learn to make."

Hook grinned, "Trust me Love, if it can be done, you'll have it."

Emma smiled, trying not to break the moment as they ate the remainder of the meal in silence. But she had questions, to which he had the answers. "Hook." She asked gently and he sighed as if sensing he wasn't going to like the change in topic.

"Can it wait." He asked gently. "I have yet to sleep since our journey here and I fear I may not be able to hold my end of the conversation with such acerbic wit as you may have come to expect." He stood and Emma startled herself by catching his wrist, her hand curling around the skin there in surprise at the contact as she hastily pulled it away. He gave her a look and eased back into his seat. "Give me your hand again." He insisted. "You have questions yes?" he smirked, "then my price is your hand." Emma weighed the risk, it was after all just a hand, he wasn't going to reduce her to a hormone driven wreck and make her forget his monstrous nature with just her hand. Huffing she handed it to him, trying to ignore the way his fingers instantly set to work stroking her palm.

"You said that this place... we won't age, forever?" the fear in her voice was real and he brushed his thumb over the pulse point in her wrist as if he could feel the sudden jump in her heart rate at the idea.

"I did." He acknowledged. "A heady prize for some men," he looked up through his dark eyelashes at her, "A never ending curse for others." He admitted slowly, clearly wondering which side she'd come down on.

"And to you?" she pressed, as his fingers slid further up from her wrist to her forearm, clearly giving her hand hadn't stopped him from reaching for more, she filed that away for later. Apparently her wording needed to be tighter if she was bargaining with him in future.

"Means to an end." He replied succinctly. "Revenge takes time, time my Crocodile has, and I didn't."

Emma nodded. Of course; it had all been about his revenge.

"What do you do with forever, I mean for those of us that aren't plotting our deep dark revenge?" The question wasn't idle, no matter how lightly she phrased it and he brushed her bicep with his thumb, sliding his clever fingers higher up her arm.

"Ah so you're clearly coming down on the never ending curse side then?" he saw her nod sharply and snorted, clearly not surprised by her choice.

"Don't worry too much about that Princess, time is funny that way here. Days, weeks, months even years can pass in Neverland and barely a blink back home... wherever home might be. But the passing of it, you'll find it doesn't trouble you. I told you it would make you forget, I wasn't lying. I came here to plot my revenge... instead I forgot it entirely, just the hot ball of rage inside me that grew unsated for no reason I could recall." He was so candid now, like he had no idea that he was ripping the rug from under her.

Emma's face she knew betrayed her horror at the idea, because his hand stilled its exploration having finally crept its way to her cheek. He shifted rising out of his seat to perch on the side of the table directly in front of her, his fingers not releasing the skin of her cheek that he seemed to think he'd earned the right to caress. "I won't remember Henry? My family?" she asked aghast.

Hook leant towards her, his expression soft as his fingers brushed her lips, but she was too consumed by the idea that she might have truly lost everything, to care where he touched her. "Neverland is many things, but it is not cruel Emma. You keep only what you bring with you."

Emma felt the tears spill down her cheeks, absolute desolation setting route in her soul.

"You bought rage?" she queried and he gave her pained look. "And it festered." She realised, not wanting to turn that sharp eye on herself.

"If you bought sorrow... it will become all that you know." He warned her.

Emma gave him a shocked look, "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

Hook took her by the hand she'd given him and tugged her up, so that she was flush against him, his hand splayed on her back. "Do what I did... bring something you want to keep with you instead." his gave her a searing look that left her in no doubt that she was what he was talking about before his lips crashed over hers; she was just broken enough to kiss him back for a fraction of a second, allowing herself to soften into his desperate embrace.

"No." she pushed him back, putting a few paces between them as she fought to regain her breathing and her control out of his grasp, shocked at how easy it was to let him take advantage of her. Hooks laugh startled her and she eyed him nervously.

"I have to say I'm impressed Love. I didn't think you had that sort of will power." He shook his head mirthlessly. "I don't." He admitted, leaning back again arms crossed, but his confidence now unsettled her and she got the distinct impression she'd missed something. She cast her mind back over the conversation, trying to see what trap she'd fallen into, what she'd overlooked.

The moment it hit her she shot her eyes to his, looking for the confirmation in the smug smirk plastered all over his face.

"No." she told him firmly, as if just saying that could make it true.

"Too late Princess. You know what you brought with you." Emma felt her hands rise to her mouth, panic threatened to overwhelm her as her chest tightened making breathing momentarily painful. How could she have been so stupid... but she hadn't known, ignorance shouldn't condemn her, it wasn't right!

"That was a mistake, a moment of weakness, I was thinking about a lot of things as we crossed over." She almost pleaded with him to humour her.

"In the very moment?" he pressed, grinning coolly, knowing full well the truth as her memory swam back to the way she had pressed a hard searing kiss of her own volition to his lips giddy with the delight of spinning into Neverland with him, of escaping...

Oh god. She'd been thinking of him, of the feel of his lips, of holding onto him so tightly, the very real fear of letting go of him coursing through her as they'd dangled perilously high up.

"You knew?" she stared at him accusingly.

He shrugged innocently. "You kissed me Love, you held on to me like your life depended on it. I'm a man; I can only hold one idea in my brain when a beautiful woman is throwing herself at me."

"How can you be sure?" she tried to breathe slowly, so as not to hyperventilate, this had to explain her growing attraction to him, in spite of his monstrous nature. She felt sick, the idea that some weird magic might be screwing with her emotions was a violation on so many levels; that he'd possibly set her up for this... she stared up at him through narrowed vision, envisaging her fist connecting solidly with his smug face.

Hook stood, his arms uncrossed, doing nothing, yet somehow managing to look threatening. "I'll admit; I was attracted to you before, more than attracted." He admitted, "I wanted you Love, I wanted you in a way I hadn't felt since Mila, wanted to know you, know all of you."He took a step forward that made her inch back, terrified now that she had somehow made a deal she'd had no intention of, which might turn out to be binding. "But now?" he quirked an eyebrow. "As Starkey pointed out to me as he mopped up Mullins' guts from the deck, I might have overreacted somewhat, after all it wasn't like the lads had actually succeeded in having their wicked way with you."

Emma swallowed. "You knew this could happen, you should have stopped it." Not likely she realised, this was exactly the opportunity he'd been looking for.

Hook shook his head. "I've travelled to Neverland exactly twice Love. The first time the only thing on my mind was my rage my thirst for revenge. When that became an all consuming desire, I thought nothing of it. It was only when I returned home, that I was able to breathe without the crushing weight of it. When you crossed my path and started me thinking about all new, interesting things, I considered that perhaps I had fallen prey to the magic of Neverland."

"You planned this, you tricked me." She declared, feeling betrayed and utterly duped.

"No Love. You kissed me remember. I was thinking of something else entirely before you stuck your delectable tongue in my mouth." Emma froze at his words, if he was right... he was right, unless he somehow manipulated her into that kiss... but she had no excuse, no retort. It was her fault, if anything she should have been apologising to him. She'd cursed them both by her stupid utterly hormone driven moment of insanity.

Emma turned away from him, not certain she could bear to look at him. "You'd been thinking of Mila... loving her, not avenging her." She realised quietly, that sick feeling doubling. She was right, she really was a walking harbinger of misery.

"The best laid plans Love. I figured if I couldn't be with her, I could remember how she made me feel, let this place do it's magic and bring it all flooding back." Hook was behind her now, the nearness of him making her uneasy, and raising the hairs on the back of her neck. His arms slid around her waist, she hated that it didn't feel completely wrong. "I'm not saying this is a bad thing Emma, believe me I would rather have the reality of wanting you coursing through me, than forever of her memory."

Emma bowed her head. This wasn't right. She told him just that and he released her with a sigh that she knew was at her own stubbornness. "You won't be able to fight this." he was being honest and she hated the expression on him. "It would be pointless to try, but I know it's in your nature. So I'm sure we'll have months of this long drawn out tension between us before you succumb to the inevitable. Perhaps when the memory of what happened up on deck has faded, you'll start to remember what it was that so enticed you to kiss me in the first place."

He retreated to the bedroom without another word, hopping up onto the covers and giving her an inviting smile that she ignored. Crossing to the Chaise longue instead, she curled up on it, intent to fight whatever the hell this was for as long as she was able. Hook's unamused laughter filtered through to her but she refused to listen. She could fight this. She would fight this.