CHAPTER ELEVEN

Emma watched quietly as Henry and her family waved and hugged, clearly ecstatic to see her, the moment the gang plank was down they'd rush aboard and sweep her up in that same infectious joy... at least she thought they would. But staring back at them, everything she was supposed to feel just wasn't coming, all the memories the pain of being without them, the joy of finding them, it was still so muted, there was no sudden rush of remembrance, just a slow trickle of images.

"Smile Love. Your family expects it." Hook spoke quietly into her ear, a pained smile of his own on his face as he waved, trying for calm assurance and coming just short. Emma examined him closely, her feelings about him were still a convoluted mess, but they were still there, which was more concerning.

"I don't remember them... not the way I should." Emma confessed, seeing his own grim expression confirm hers. "Gold is there." Emma added quietly, expectantly, apparently the man had made more of an impression on her than she'd thought, because she had no problem recognising him.

"I see that." Hook replied, "The crocodile looks less leathery than when I last saw him. More fragile." His smirk was in place but Emma saw right through it now, he was clearly disturbed by whatever was going on inside his own head; if it was anything like hers, she could sympathise.

"You don't remember wanting to kill him... not enough to actually stalk over there and try it, do you?" He gave her a sigh, dropping his head in a moment of defeat.

"It'll come back Love, everything. It has to." He tried to make it sound confident, but it came out more like a plea than anything else.

Emma chose to ignore it focusing instead on catching the young boy that raced up the now lowered gangplank and across the deck to throw himself at her with a plaintive cry of 'Mom'. Emma smiled despite herself, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as he crushed himself against her and giving her a face to go with the name that had been reverberating around in her skull.

Henry.

The feeling that had coursed through her as she'd staved off the mermaid, didn't return, but it was definitely more than a muted glow as she pulled him closer, lifting his feet off the floor and trying to absorb every second of this moment hating that one day she'd regret that she hadn't been able to feel what she should in this moment.

"Did you miss me kid?" she smiled as warmly as she could, watching his tears blossom as he smiled broadly back at her.

"I knew you'd make it."Henry replied, as the others reached them, Emma made no move to hug them, or be hugged, she stared at them evenly, hoping to get a message across, Henry she could cope with, but she couldn't fake her way through all of this. She needed time. Space.

She recognised her mother and father. Mary Margaret and David, Snow White and Prince Charming, but the way she left, everything still unsaid between them, unresolved... all she remembered was the frustration, the hurt. These people were strangers to her, friends perhaps, but even then it was so hazy, she couldn't remember specifics... no conversations or shared experiences, just an image here and there.

"Emma." Mary Margaret smiled warmly, hesitantly, clearly she'd picked up on the unspoken undercurrent. "I knew you'd find your way home." Her hesitance faded and she crushed Henry between them as she embraced her. Emma patted her shoulder gently, smiling at David as he offered similar platitudes and assurances, joining his family in the embrace. They were so happy to see her, she just wished she could convey that feeling too, but all she felt was numb... and apart.

"Mother!" Peter's high pitched and slightly panicked voice startled her and her family out of the embrace.

Hook's hand went to her shoulder. "Not to ruin this touching reunion Love. But what do you want to do about the little darlings you kidnapped."

"What?" Mary Margaret's look of concern and apprehension increased, her eyes narrowing as they lingered on Hook's hand, which he hadn't removed from her shoulder. "You kidnapped those children?"

Emma restrained herself from rolling her eyes, but she sorely wanted to, as she smiled thinly back at them. "Kidnapped is such a strong word." She muttered, turning away from them and gently detaching Henry who was still holding onto her like he was worried she'd disappear again if he didn't.

"Emma." Mary Margaret was turning shrill, and she could see Hook hiding his smirk beside her, "Are they tied to the mast?" Right... primary school prim and proper teacher, combining with the over privileged Princess thing; it was bound to grate on her at some point, Emma just wished it wasn't right now.

Emma crossed to stand in front of the boys, sensing Henry close at her heels, although David seemed to have more sense, she watched him out of the corner of her eye clocking the less than savoury characters all around them and keeping a firm grip on Henry's arm. She also noted Regina ungracefully stumbling on board in her heels and business suit, heading straight for them, no doubt to interfere.

Why was it she remembered the bad... but not the good. Her memories of loathing Regina were just fine apparently. Emma also noticed that Gold had mysteriously disappeared, which she thought was wise, Hook might not have remembered the reason for wanting to skin him right now... but she wasn't so certain that not remembering it, would stop him from doing it anyway.

"Snow White, Prince Charming... Henry." She gave him a glance, feeling her lip twitch almost into a snarl as Regina placed her hands firmly on his shoulder, looking around with a haughty expression that she recognised as masking her unease. "I'd like to introduce you to Peter Pan, and the Lost Boys."

They looked impressed and then horrified. "You kidnapped Peter Pan?" Mary Margaret snapped.

"And you're Captain Hook." Henry turned, his expression like a kids in a candy store, one who'd just been given an all access pass. His expression fell slightly as he realised what that meant, he stepped back fractionally towards Regina and away from her. "But Peter Pan's the hero, he's the villain," Henry pointed accusingly at Hook, "Emma, are you a Pirate?" And now she was back to 'Emma' not 'Mom'.

"Mother Wendy." Nibs drew her attention and she sighed wearily, at least she was still a mother to someone.

"Wendy." Regina got in first, her expression mocking. "Aren't you a little old to be playing at fairytales."

Emma glared sideways at her. "Look who's talking Your Majesty." She spat, it was harder than she imagined to let go of her anger for this woman, this witch who'd almost killed her son and refused to remove her evil corruptive talons from him, even now. Regina looked somewhat startled by her outburst, apparently on a ship surrounded by Pirates who were watching them all carefully she wasn't her usual confident self, particularly with their son between them.

Emma returned her attention to the boys, she unsheathed her sword and cut through the ropes holding them to the mast. They didn't move. All accept Peter who shot to his feet charging her, it was made more effective by the small blade he seemed to have stashed somewhere on himself that he now held at her throat.

"Whoa, kid take it easy." David spoke softly, his hands out as if he could ward this attack off.

Emma didn't take her eyes off Peter, dropping her own blade in concession to his threat. Hook moved swiftly behind him, his own blade pointed directly into the base of Peter's skull, making his own threat.

"Why?" Peter snarled, his lip curving into a sneer, as he demanded an answer from her she couldn't really give.

"You let me in, Pan." She told him firmly, not even bothering to keep her tone soft, she wasn't going to convince him he had either made up his mind to kill her or not, the consequences be damned, he wasn't afraid to die himself. "You wanted me to take care of you." She pointed out.

"You tricked me." He bit back, the tip of his blade digging into the skin on her throat.

"Yes. And it doesn't change the fact that you were glad I did. You needed me. You liked to pretend that you were King of Neverland, King of not caring. But you wanted someone to make it better, to make you feel like you were worth a damn, rather than the discarded unwanted child you really were."

"Liar!" he roared and Emma winced as the blade cut deeper, but so did Peter, the tip of Hook's blade clearly making an impression.

"Easy now Lad, wouldn't want to have an accident now would we?" Hook was back to his old charm oozing self, accept that she wasn't as fooled by it as she once was, he was on edge, the threat was real.

"Pan." Emma snapped, drawing the boys attention back to her, and distracting him from the movement all around with his chosen name, particularly the frightened face of her actual son. "You trusted me. That wasn't wrong. You wanted me to help you, because deep down you knew I could. This is me helping you."

"You're a Pirate. You're with him!" Peter snapped, indicating Hook with a flick of his head. "Why should I trust you?"

Emma rolled her eyes, losing patience. "Can you fly?" Everyone seemed thrown by that question, even Peter.

"Emma, maybe now isn't the best time to…" Mary Margaret tried and Emma cut her off with a look, now wasn't the time for family bonding.

"Try it." Emma turned her attention back to Peter, staring him down in challenge, he frowned, looking uneasy and she smirked. "You can't can you?"

"What did you do to me?" he accused, tears forming, but the blade waivered and Emma moved, sliding it out of his hand and grasping him by the wrists, forcing him to drop it with a sharp twist.

"Magic works differently here," she explained. "You might have come to this world collecting kids to bring back and join your merry little band of miscreants, but in this town, you're powerless. Which means that for once, you get to be just a regular kid." Emma dragged him in close, sensing weakness, "And regular kids do what grownups tell them, or they get spanked."

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Emma rubbed her temples, feeling a migraine coming on. The Lost Boys had been surprisingly easy to dump on the nuns...fairies, whatever they really were. They'd actually cooed over them with some noble idea about getting them re-socialised. Peter was another story, which was why she was standing outside Geppetto's workshop with a hopeful smile and a mostly feral child she'd forced into modern clothing and who's hair she'd attempted to comb almost losing a finger in the process.

"You're serious?" Geppetto stared at her, hands on his hips. "Sheriff Swan... Princess." He corrected himself, "I understand that you think you are trying to help this boy, but my wife and I... we are too old to take in a child."

Emma sighed, pushing Peter forward. "He's good with his hands. He can help around the workshop... and since you lied and cheated my parents out of an extra seat to this crazy world, leaving me in the hands of a seven year old boy with the moral compass of a wandering salesman, I figure you owe me."

Geppetto looked guilty, but hardly resigned. "That is unfair."

"So was leaving a child with that kind of responsibility. Sadly for you, that ship has sailed, your little wooden boy is fully grown; that leaves you one son down." Emma smiled thinly, pushing Peter closer towards him again. "He's every bit as screwed up and morally bankrupt as the one you sent away."

"To save him!" Geppetto shouted, angry now. It didn't faze her.

Emma shoved Peter a little closer, it was amazing how accommodating he was being now that his other little friends had practically jumped at the chance of a normal life. "Well guess what now you get to save another... this one's even mostly a real boy."

"You ask too much." Geppetto sighed, but he had stepped forward and placed a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Well it was you or the Evil Queen." Emma snapped, arms crossed, she'd already won, this posturing was just wasting both of their time and making Peter feel worse. "Look he's had his shots, he's house trained... mostly. Just don't give him anything sharp and pointy and maybe think about keeping him away from other kids for a little while, it tends to bring out the Dictator in him."

Geppetto nodded, resigned. "Very well. I will take him." Peter actually had the nerve to stick his tongue out at her, which she took as her cue to leave.

Forcing other people to clean up her mess wasn't exactly her style, but she was still a little out of whack. But then two days spent avoiding her family and Hook was enough to make anyone tetchy. At the thought of Hook she glanced down the street to the harbour where the Jolly Roger was docked, he'd graciously decided to stay on board with his crew whilst people came to appreciate their presence and give his men time to acclimatise, and start learning about the modern world they'd been thrust into because of her... more guilt, joy. Personally she thought the fishery was the best option, that or the mines. Something where they could avoid the majority of the female population of Storybrooke.

David was waiting at her car, leaning against it, smiling quietly at her like she was the light of his life. "So are you planning on avoiding us forever?"

Emma stopped in front of him. Arms crossed, this was a confrontation she'd tried to avoid, calling her on it wasn't improving her mood any, which had been downright miserable since she'd stepped off the ship to a chorus of disagreement from her family about the way she was handling the Lost Boys... and the Pirates... and Henry, although that last one had just been Regina.

"I don't know, are you planning on following me everywhere; makes it harder to avoid you if you are."

David was trying for patience, she could tell. But the strain was starting to show around his eyes, he obviously wanted to take her to task, but he didn't quite dare yet, clearly he was struggling to step into the daddy role... the Prince role didn't fit either given as technically in this world she outranked him as Sheriff. It had certainly been awkward when he'd pinned the badge back on her with that she could only assume was pride. Personally she thought returning her job to her might have been a little premature, she wasn't even so sure she was on the side of the white hats anymore.

"Emma, I know you've been through a lot, and that you've been gone... a while." He trailed off at her look, neither of them mentioning the disturbing fact that a year might have passed in Storybrooke, but in Neverland, it had to have been closer to three; at least that was Hook and his crews best guess; and they were used to tracking the passing... or not passing of time in that god forsaken land. "Your mother misses you." He admitted looking guilty, clearly Mary Margaret hadn't wanted him to give her the guilt trip, but he'd realised he'd need to try it anyway. "I know we've never had much of a chance to be parents to you, but you were at least friends with Snow before." he seemed flustered, "I mean you lived together, shared your lives, your days, when you didn't return from the Enchanted Forest, she was heartbroken."

"And she found a surrogate kid in her grandson." Emma bit back, the real cause of her irritation rising. "And of course, she took to mothering him better than his own mother. She even got Regina to tow the line with him." Ok so now she just sounded bitter, but damn it she didn't want to come back to this, she didn't want to have been missing long enough for things to change so much. Add to that her memories were still not entirely intact which was just confusing the issue.

"Emma, you can't possibly be jealous of your own mother?" he asked in disbelief, moving forward as if to hug her; causing her to take a very deliberate step back her hand out to ward him off, she didn't know why it was that she had such an aversion to such a simple gesture, but she feared what she might feel if she actually let him embrace her. Her wall might just crumble and right now that wall was the only thing that was keeping her upright.

"I need time. David." She emphasised his name, calling him Dad was never going to sit right; it was also something he hadn't earned yet, maybe never would.

"Emma." He looked desperately like he wanted to fix this chasm between them and didn't have the faintest idea of how to do it. "Please don't push us away."

"I'm not. Not for good, just for a little while. Please, I'm asking." She all but pleaded, and it worked she saw the way he seemed to crumple, finally giving her access to the car and her escape. Emma wrenched open the car door and slammed it, refusing to look at his face; she didn't need to see the look of heartbroken disappointment she knew would be there.

"We'll still be here Emma, waiting, because we're family, family doesn't give up on each other."

Emma drove off without a word, gritting her teeth against the desire to either say something incredibly hurtful, or to simply give in. So it was a surprise to find that she'd driven herself down to the harbour without actually deciding on it. Of course the fact that her apartment was out of the question wasn't helping matters, given as it was also Mary Margaret, David's and Henry's apartment. She'd yet to encounter the problem of sleeping somewhere; she'd been too busy trying to sort her mess out to bother with things like sleep, which probably wasn't helping her mood any. She was tired and miserable. And for some reason her brain had decided that the perfect way to remedy that was to bring her to the one person guaranteed to make her more miserable.

There was a rap against the window and Emma glared soundly out at it the only person she knew would be standing there, his hook on the glass.

"Go away." Emma snapped, dropping her forehead to the steering wheel and wishing she could actually get a minutes peace. Why was everything so complicated back in the real world?

"Your tired Love and I have a bed your quite familiar with." His charm was at a minimum, which she appreciated.

"I'll sleep in the car." Emma muttered, wishing she meant it, and wishing he'd buy it for even a moment.

Hook pulled open the car door and held his hand out to her, Emma took it reluctantly letting him pull her out, he tried to wrap his arms around her and she slipped out of his grasp with a skill she'd honed through apparently years of practice. "I take it your offer isn't entirely altruistic."

"And I take it your still in denial Love." Hook smiled darkly at her.

"I'm not in denial about anything."

"Oh no." he bit out sarcastically. "The fact that you've avoided being within a foot of me since you got here has nothing to do with that little confession of yours." He smirked, letting her know that he really had heard exactly what she'd declared the day they'd escaped Neverland. "Or the fact that being here hasn't changed a damn thing... has it?" he challenged.

Emma chose not to answer, it was simpler, as she allowed him to take her arm and lead her back on board the ship she unfortunately knew only too well.