A/N Sorry this update is a tad later than usual – I have had the most ridiculously busy week (and it was also kind of awful so I've also been a bit down and I wanted to be happy when I uploaded this for you guys), an exam yesterday, another next Friday plus three assignments in between. Anyhow; three things.

Firstly: HOLY JESUS EMMA AND THE PROTECTION SPELL I THINK I'M PSYCHIC!

Secondly: Some of your comments were legitimately spot on for what happens.

Thirdly: This is one of my favourite chapters so far – we've been waiting for this to happen for a long time. Beware of feels and… stuff. I listened to 'Breathe Me' by Sia on repeat for this chapter so if you guys want to get in the mood – maybes listen to it as you read? I dunno?

OH and for the person who asked – my tumblr is swaggercaption dot tumblr dot com.

Chapter 33: The Tide

She wasn't herself. Every time she smiled it was short-lived, quickly replaced by a sombre expression. Her eyes were constantly deep in thought and her parents' visits made her more and more agitated. Even Henry could barely elicit a smile from the saviour anymore; it was disheartening the poor lad. The pirate watched in dismay as his swan became a shell of herself.

She needed to talk to someone before she lost herself to the depression that had plagued her. Talking to Mary Margaret during one visit, he was told that the majority of the town had been informed that Emma was simply sick. Only a few select people knew about the truth of what happened. She wouldn't be prosecuted for killing Talice and Neal wasn't pressing charges.

Originally, Killian's plan had been to wait for her to be ready to talk. He would be patient, he wouldn't push it. And yet here he was, still waiting for her to talk to him. That night that she'd opened up to him about Neal seemed so long ago and he reminisced in the memory of her body wrapped in his arms.

It was a couple of days later, after Emma tactfully avoiding him, that he decided to finally push. She needed a release and he would be damned if he saved her only to let her destroy herself again. Henry was in bed, his door closed, as the two of them cleaned away dinner. Killian didn't particularly enjoy the menial house-life but he would endure it for her.

She was about to retire to her bedroom when he grabbed her arm.

"Stop," he said and she turned to face him, confusion warping her soft features, "this is ridiculous, Emma. You can't live like this forever."

Her confusion dried up but she tried to feign ignorance, "I don't know what you mean," she replied. Killian shook his head rapidly, his expression betraying all of his mixed up feelings. He was angry she was doing this to herself, he was worried about her, he was irritated that she was trying to deny it.

"Ignorance doesn't become you, lass," he stated dryly in reply. She shook her head again, still trying to maintain the air of indifference as she shrugged.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Emma turned to walk away again and when he grabbed her arm, more forcefully this time, he spun her to face him. His anger started to override his thoughts as his eyes scanned the hollow woman in his grip.

"Don't give me that bullshit. You can dish it to everyone else but don't you dare try to tell me that. I can tell when you're lying, Swan," the pirate said heatedly. The façade she wore like armour slipped and her face contorted into one of anger. He was glad to have evoked some kind of emotion in her, even if it was a bittersweet sensation.

"Just leave me alone, Hook," she muttered angrily.

"Oh so we're back to Hook?" Killian replied penetratingly. The sentiment that she was calling him by his old moniker hurt more than he was willing to admit. Emma refused to meet his eye now, looking anywhere but at the sky blue that was trained on her.

"Fine, Killian. I'm fine, just leave me-"

"No you're not! Stop lying to me!" he interrupted vehemently. She jerked out of his grasp, balling her fists up at her side. For a moment he was afraid he'd pushed her back to the magic.

"Well what else am I supposed to do?" Emma abruptly yelled, "Admit to myself that I killed someone? That I tried to kill another person? That I let my son see me like that?" Her breathing was suddenly ragged and her voice was starting to break and crack. Killian maintained his stance, satisfied she was letting it out. The only twinge of regret was the pain that was obvious on her face, the anguish it caused her to admit these things.

"You're supposed to accept it and move on," he replied and her gaze landed squarely on his. The intensity was stifling as she uttered her next words.

"I killed someone, I took a man's heart and crushed it…" her voice drifted off and the realisation of what she'd done hit her like a tonne of bricks. Knowing she'd done it and saying it aloud were too completely different things. Her stomach contracted painfully and she gasped for breath.

Killian reached her in two strides, grasping both of her arms and catching her eye again.

"You killed a man who tried to kill you and your son; you aren't a bad person, Emma."

She shook her head in denial, tears welling up, "It doesn't matter who he was, I still killed him in cold blood and I would have killed Neal." Emma recalled the feelings that had filled her as she'd walked towards Granny's, the feelings of betrayal and hate and anger consuming her. It was pure and raw power and she'd loved it. Looking back though, it was wrong; the feeling of invincibility and numbness that had overridden her muscles. Her memory blocked out the constant desire to return to that state.

"It does matter! You're a good person and if you let this ruin you than you might as well have let Talice kill you himself!" Killian yelled, trying to reason with the woman before him. Her fists balled up again, the grief morphing into anger yet again.

"What do you suppose I do? I can't even look my son in the eye!" she yelled.

"You accept it and move on!"

"That's rich coming from you, what ever happened to the man who spent three-hundred years on a revenge course?" Emma retorted, taking a breath before continuing, "I can't be happy; I don't deserve it after I let myself be consumed by it all…"

"Yes you do! If there's one person in this world who does, it's you! I won't let it consume you again!" He spoke with such conviction; even she had to listen to his words. The blonde stared deeply into the icy blue of his eyes.

"What's to say you'll be able to stop me?" she said, trying to hold back the emotion in her voice.

"Because I did it the first time!" Killian replied insistently, stepping an inch closer to her. Emma's breathing slowed ever-so-slightly.

"Why do you even care so much?" she asked as she tried to discern his motives.

He smirked, "I think it'd be stupid for us to act like we don't care about each other, love." It was what they'd both been thinking for the past month, ever since she'd returned he'd felt the niggling in his chest growing. Yet, when he said the words, he felt a tightening in his chest telling him that it was much more than care now. And there was no going back.

"Okay, so you care about me and I care about you. What's to say that stops me from hurting you next time you piss me off? I can't control it, Killian!" her words were insistent and pleading, as if she was begging him to give up and leave. It was like a reflex, built in to protect her after the continuous abandonment. But this pirate wasn't dissuaded so easily, if only one thing Killian was persistent. It was a trait he shared with her.

"But you will be able to control it, Gold is going to help you," he said, closing his eyes at the mention of the crocodile. While he still harboured uncontrollable hate for the man, he would leave him alone to help Emma. He wouldn't jeopardize her safety. He would risk his life one thousand times over but there would never come a day where he would purposefully cause her pain.

"What? Gold is going to teach me to control it? Well, that's the dumbest idea of the century!" Emma exclaimed, throwing her arms up half-heartedly. Killian's stare darkened for a millimetre of a second.

"Emma. Do you think I would let him anywhere near you if I didn't think it was safe?"

She shook her head, still trying to figure out where this sudden concern was coming from. Pirates weren't renowned for their compassion and this one here had fought against her more than once. Silence greeted his question and she studied his face.

"Why do you care, Killian?"

He met her eyes for a second before dropping them again, along with his hands that had been grasping her arms. But Emma didn't relent.

"Why did you save me?"

He looked behind her as he answered, "Because I couldn't have you destroying the town."

It was a clear-cut lie and she could tell.

"Don't lie to me. Why did you save me?" Emma asked again. He still wouldn't meet her eyes.

"I wouldn't let you destroy yourself," Killian said, more agitated than before. This subject wasn't something he wanted to discuss; he had enough trouble with his feelings. Subconsciously he knew she wouldn't give up, but in that moment he needed a second so he turned and walked back towards the kitchen.

Emma went after him, pulling his arm and spinning him around in much the same way he had done to her moments earlier. He could have easily withstood her grip, could have easily kept walking, could have ignored her completely but he didn't. His breathing had quickened at the intensity of the situation. She stepped close to him, looking up at his chiselled features defiantly. Her jaw was set in the way that Killian recognised; she was going to get the truth out of him one way or another.

"Don't lie to me!" she snapped.

"I'm not lying!" Killian's voice had risen significantly, his defences up.

"I can read you too, you know!" Emma informed him, equally loud, "Why did you save me?"

Silence greeted her as the pirate stared at her, drinking in the planes of her face, the colour of her eyes, the line of her jaw, the curve of her lips. There were so many little things about her that people overlooked and in that moment they seemed to rush at him. The way her teeth made an almost inaudible clicking sound when she set her jaw and the way that her setting said jaw meant she wasn't going to give up on something.

The way the colour of her eyes varied; vivid blue in sunlight and stormy grey in shadows. The way she arched her eyebrow incredulously, an almost perfect upside-down 'V' that made the receiver feel incompetent at its ascension. The way she could never comfortably stay still, always had to be moving or acting or doing. The way she was often deep in thought for no apparent reason. The contradiction in her actions, the way her voice fluctuated, the way she refused to let herself be coddled because she felt bad demanding things. It was all quintessentially Emma.

She asked again, more insistent this time.

"Why did you save me?"

And it was then that he finally realised what had slowly been growing since their first meeting.

"Because I'm in love with you, you infuriating woman!"

Killian's words hung in the air for a moment. Before he could add to it, her lips were crushed against his with such urgency he staggered back slightly before embracing her. Emma pulled him close, kissing him with all the desperation and need of a starving woman. He returned the exchange, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. She was on her tip-toes and he bent down to accommodate her more, maintaining the kiss as she dragged him down. It was a hungry kiss, not gentle or tender, one that conveyed unkempt need.

Emma pulled back for need of oxygen and their eyes met. In that moment, when there was only the sound of each of them gasping for breath, she saw the clear and vivid emotion in his eyes and she assumed it mirrored her own. Without another word, he pulled her back into the kiss.

It was more tender this time, long and languid as he tangled his good hand in her hair. His hooked arm remained around her waist, keeping her flush again him. She pulled her hands up so that she was pulling lightly on the hair at the nape of his neck, the way that was familiar to them.

As the kiss deepened, Killian slid his tongue along her bottom lip. She was receptive to the request and unhesitantly opened her mouth, letting him plunder it. The exchange became more heated as he nipped at her bottom lip. She gasped, pulling back again in need of air.

The pirate, however, began to trail kisses and nips along her jaw. Emma started walking backwards, pulling him with her. He looked up to where she was dragging him, to where her bedroom door was open. Surprised, he lowered his eyes to hers just as she claimed his lips again. They entered the room, still wrapped in each other's arms.

She raised her arms as he pulled her shirt over her head, marvelling at her figure.

"Gods Emma," he breathed before she brought him back to her for another extended kiss. As their mouths met, the blonde started unbuttoning his shirt. He dropped his arms so she could push it off. Emma pulled back, taking the opportunity to properly appreciate his perfectly muscled chest. He smirked in the familiar way she was used to, looking at her expression through his eyelashes. Her hands landed on his chest and she kissed him again, more purposeful this time.

His smirk disappeared, his every nerve utterly consumed by her.

Killian laid her down on the bed softly, hovering over her as he nipped along her jaw line. He was determined to locate and memorise every single sensitive spot for future reference. Because there was no way this could be the one and only time. There would be future encounters, he promised himself this as his lips ascended her neck. He would fight tooth and nail for her; he would earn his spot in her life.

As his mouth clasped over her pulse point, he sucked, eliciting a moan from the blonde underneath him. He smiled against her skin and she dragged him up again, kissing him feverishly. In a move that made them both gasped, Emma accidently rolled her hips up.

He smothered her lips with his again, moving the kisses down to her collarbones and delicately tracing each one with his fingers. He continued moving down, and knelt as he used his hook and hand to drag her jeans off. He stared at her form, covered only by undergarments, and shook his head in amazement.

The overwhelming urge to have her commanded him as he took hold of her mouth with knew fervour. She sensed his urgency and pulled his own jeans down; dragging her fingernails up his side once it was done. He growled at the sensation and bit down on her lip. She gasped and their hips rolled together again, making both their breaths hitch. Their undergarments soon disappeared.

In the moments that followed, they fused together in every way possible. His name escaped her lips between moans, the feeling it prompted in him was unimaginable. She could hear her own name whispered like a prayer as he delved into her. He pushed his head into the crevice of her neck, biting down as he tried to quieten his own pleasure. Her fingernails delved into his shoulders, leaving crescent moons in their wake. As they rode the wave of ecstasy together, Killian moved his head to look her in the eye as they toppled over the edge of oblivion.

He kissed her again, tenderly, before shifting his weight and dropping down beside her. With the remnants of energy he still had, Killian pulled back the blanket and placed it over them. She turned to face him, not rejecting his arm when he draped it around her waist to pull her closer. Their legs tangled under the sheets and she watched his face. Their breathing mingled, still heavy after the interaction.

Emma used one of her hands to trace the line of his jaw, and then his lips. She leaned in, placing a long kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes, savouring the feel of her near him, the taste of her lips, the smell of vanilla as it wafted from her body. She turned around and leaned back slightly. Without hesitation, Killian wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close so his face was buried in her hair.

She curled into him, letting him embrace her from behind. His nose nuzzled the nape of her neck, utterly and unremorsefully content in that moment.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?" the pirate whispered, his usual swagger seeping into his tone. Emma smiled to herself, playing with his hook that was resting on her abdomen. She traced it with her fingers, dragging her fingertip over the smooth metal.

"I think maybe your innuendos weren't as subtle as you thought they were," she retorted and he chuckled, his chest rumbling against her bare back.

"What can I say? I'm not a very covert individual," he said. Emma laughed lightly in agreement, nodding. She turned back around to face him, entwining her legs with his again. His face was soft and bright with the happiness he felt at that point.

"I figured that out a long time ago, Killian. You always talk about me being an open book but I don't think you realise how easy you are to read," she said, watching his eyes carefully. He looked down from her face, smirking ruefully at the revelation.

"There have only ever been two people able to do that," he said, and the look in his eyes, in addition to her knowledge of his lost love, told her everything she needed to know. Emma didn't feel jealous or petty, having him mention her amidst the afterglow of sex. It was his way of opening up and she felt the need to know more about Milah.

"What was she like? Milah?" the blonde asked and his eyes lifted back up to her. He hadn't talked about her in forever and the memories were fading – it would be therapeutic to retell the little memories he could still recall.

"Milah was a child at heart… she was older than I and yet she provoked the insolent child in me. Her antics were loved by the crew, I think they were more amused by the fact she could challenge me… much like you," he said. Emma remembered Hugo talking to her that day after she'd been attacked by Grimes.

"…it's good to have someone that tests the captain – makes things interesting," Hugo chuckled, "it hasn't been like that since… um."

His hesitance made sense now, Killian hadn't been challenged by a woman since Milah. She felt oddly proud that she was able to bring that side out of him, the side that no one else had.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, watching her facial expression curiously.

"Nothing, just you," she replied simply, not in any way too sappy. It was just a fact and she stated it as so. Nevertheless, the concept of her thoughts being consumed by him made the pirate's smile broaden slightly. He wanted to know her.

"What was your life like before all of this? I know you weren't affected by the curse," Killian said. Emma smiled, thinking back to her time as a bounty hunter – roaming around, finding bail-jumpers and criminals.

"I was a bounty hunter," she said and he immediately grinned, obviously not too surprised. His reaction didn't shock the blonde; as soon as he'd asked it, she knew he'd enjoy the answer.

"That does not surprise me, but it does kind of make me want you more," he said sensually, abruptly pulling her towards him. She grinned mischievously, their noses touching and breath mingling. His lips cascaded down on her, dragging her back to the desires of before.

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They had just finished round two and Emma had her back pressed against his chest again, curled slightly to accommodate him. Her breathing had slowed and he was sure she was asleep. Killian waited a few more moments until he was absolutely sure she was under the blanket of slumber. He put his lips to her ear, breathing the words it had taken him so long to admit.

"I love you."

What he didn't know was that she was on the brink of consciousness, the words swirling in her head like a dream. That night, wrapped in his arms, she slept contently.

For those of you who asked about Bailey, I haven't really written much more about him but to satisfy your demands I will gladly try to incorporate him into the not-too-distant future.

I hope you guys loved this chapter as much as I did.