It was so much to think of. I couldn't be anyone's wife. I couldn't. I am too young to be. I am still 17. I am a normal human being. I can't be dealing with this vampire stuff. I can't. I am tired. I want something really average to keep the balance. I just need to.

When i met Damon for the first time, it wasn't at the party or even in NY. Actually i've never been to New York City by muself. We met as i remember at the bar. It was something like 1 p.m and he was drinking scotch as he told me later. I was lost and crushed. I just ran away from home because i felt like on more hour there and i can kill myself. Literally. I even had the necessary pills. It was too messed -up. I caught some bus and with no ideas where i was gonna be i just decided to move. Small town which i arrived in was really clean, but with no people. I walked around and saw a small bar. I came in and there was many people, like they were hiding from the sun inside. I sat and asked the bartender to give me something. He gave me a glass of red wine.

-Don't you see that i'm not 21? And if you want to give me an alcohol it's better be something stronger. - i said sounding really tired.

-Oh i see. You're normal. I'm sorry. I can't sell you an alcohol, you're underage.

-Really? You just gave me a wine! - i started to protest.

-Ben, give her something just she doesn't scream. - A stranger (yes, it's Damon) almost whispered.

-Thank you.

And there i got my whiskey. I had a sip and it was very strong. I made a funny face (not on purpose) and the stranger grinned:

-Is it your first whiskey?

-No. I had it earlier. It's my breakfast drink actually. It's just you - that's why i winced. Don't be ridiculous.

"Later Damon told me that he felt something when i walked in. Like i was some kind of mix of a witch and a vampire and a werewolf, i had these vibes he said. But i am just a human. So he was wrong but it gave him a step to talk to me and I'm glad. "

He laughed. Very loud.

-Sure. What are you doing here, in this town? You don't seem very local. Where are you from?

-Is it some sort of interrogation? - I asked

-I don't insist. Well, i have to go, so bye. Good luck with alcohol - and he came out of the bar.

This time i realized that he really went. And that he's the only person i barely know here. So i decided to go too.

-Wait...As i walked out i saw no one. - Hey. Stranger. Wait. Where are you? - I tried to scream

Ad a second later somebody who i don't remember now came to me and said:

-Honey, calm down. Don't you want to come inside? - he said it in my eyes. Now i know that he tried to compel me, but he failed. I still have no idea why. Suddenly Damon came out of nowhere and fought this guy, took my hand and started to run.

Suddenly i had to interrupt my memories because my phone started to ring. It was Stefan

-Hey. Are you at home? - he sounded worried

-Yeah. Yeah. I'm here.

-Good. Why didn't you call me?

-Sorry. I forgot. I am very tired.

-Then just go to bed.

-That's what i was trying to do. By the way do you know Klaus?

-Klaus? Why?

-Nothing. Just a random question.

-Don't lie. Damon told you about him, right?

-Yeah. Damon told me. So, what do YOU know about him?

-He's a very dangerous person. He's one from the Originals. I can come to tell you more.

-Ok. I'll be waiting.

In 2 minutes i had Stefan in my room. By the way, we didn't have sex. Just kisses. I am a lady.

-Well, Klaus, he's from the Originals as i told you. They are as you could guess the first vampires ever. The beginning. The very start. You just should be aware that you can't at any conditions talk to him, be with him or anything. I, myself, will try to prevent it to happen, but still.

And that time i understood Stefan had no idea about my past. Even the fact that he is Damon's brother doesn't give him the information about me. He is a total stranger to me and Damon is a person who knows things about me that i don't.

-Stefan. I know it might sound really selfish and egocentric, but i think you really have to try to know me. You don't know me at all. Even a bit. I mean it's ok for normal couples but you and me, we are different, right? Do you understand me?

-I don't and I do.

-Good - i smiled with a relief. It still can work out for us. - Tell me about your first love.

-Well, did Damon tell you about Katherine?

-Me? - i smiled again

-No, not you. Different Katherine. Though you two look very alike. She was the girl that me and Damon both felt in love with.

-Was she beautiful? i asked getting a bit jealous

-I just said you two look very alike. Of course she was. -Stefan grinned sadly

-How did you meet her?

-She came into our town. And it was enough. She was like a bomb.

-It was a love at first sight. - i whispered

-Pretty much. She was a tease. She played with both Damon and me. You could never guess who she like more. She was the one who turned us.

-Damon told me it was a woman he doesn't want to remember . Right.

-So there' actually nothing to tell. I mean nothing i want you to be told.

-But why?

-Because i don't want to remember her just like Damon.

-I'm sorry. Ok then. Do you want to watch some movie? - i asked changing the subject

But i couldn't help but thinking about that mysterious Katherine. Stefan said we looked alike, then i have to look at her, i don't know, maybe there's a photo. I was very curious. So if Stefan didn't give me an answer, then i should do it by myself and while we were laying together i was creating The Plan How To Do It.

1 step. Distract him

2 step. Get into his room

3 step. Find the stuff i need.

I know it doesn't sound very ladylike but i am sure i won't be able to sleep if i don't know a thing about that Katherine. - I thought.

Ok. Let's start

By the way, nobody still talks to me. Only Jenna, teachers and Salvatore brothers. So, no helpers.

We came to the Boarding House and i asked him to watch a movie with him. I mixed a pill that could make him sleep with some tea. It had to be more tea than i assumed but still after 4 couples, i drank juice, he felt asleep.

I stepped into his room and started to explore his desk. Too much notes, books, pens, like he was some Tolstoy. There was nothing. I signed and Stefan came inside and said:

-That's why you wanted me to be asleep. You wanted to ransack, didn't you? - he looked disappointed.

I felt really guilty and for a reason.

-I'm sorry. I shouldn't be doing it. I just really needed to see that Katherine and to know more about her. And i know that talking about her is making you upset. I decided if i do it without you it can be better, i guess i am just being insane. Sorry again.

-You're right. You shouldn't be doing it. Do you have any idea of people's private life? Is this term familiar to you?

-I'm sorry. I am just crazy. I got jealous.

-I think we should have some time apart. Please, leave the house.

And that's how i lost another person in my life. It was just me and Damon, and Jenna, who has no idea about anything in my life.

There was nothing to do than cry and cry and cry even more. I was devastated because i destroyed our relationship with my own hands. I didnt know why i did it. It was so not me, as i thought.

After two days of sitting in my room and Jenna's being outside of it and begging me to unlock the door, i decided to text Damon. I explained the situation without mentioning Katherine. He texted me back: - "Typical Kate:)" - What the fuck does it even mean?! Typical Kate?! A smile?!

Do i even know myself? DO I?