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A big thanks to ceara1888 who has allowed me to adopt this story from her. I read it while she wrote it and hated to see her give it up. I only hope I don't disappoint with the way I go with it.
I JUST WANT TO SAY A GREAT BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE THAT ARE STILL READING. I APPRECIATE YOU WAITING WHILE RL WORKED ITSELF OUT AND WHILE I GOT MY HEAD BACK ON STRAIGHT.
I still have the facebook group for my stories as well as the blog. Link for the group is on my profile. There is also a link for a the Twilight Non-Canon group. If you want to join click on the link and request entry. Remember though it is strictly for NON-CANON discussions and stories.
Chapters left after this one and including the epilogue-19
WARNING: Not really, but I did feel sorry for Charlie and Jasper. Something that happens a lot here.
This wasn't betaed so mistakes are mine.
PLEASE READ THE BOTTOM A/N FOR A POLL.
ENJOY...
-O-
Jasper
I paced back and forth as I listened to Rose talk to Bella about me being her tutor. She wasn't saying anything in response, so I didn't know if I would even get the chance and not knowing was slowly driving me insane.
I needed to see her with my own eyes, needed to know that she was as okay as she could be right now, and I needed the ability to do something-even something as small as helping her pass her history class. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so useless or helpless and at least feel like I was doing something to show her I was there.
"Son, you keep this up and I'm going to have to replace my floor." Charlie said, appearing in front of me when I turned around to make another pass at the bottom of the stairs.
"I'm sorry," I said as I dropped down onto the second step and buried my hands in my hair.
"It's okay, Jasper. I'd have made you fix it anyway, since it would probably only take you about five minutes."
I chuckled quietly and looked up at him. "Only four actually."
He rolled his eyes as he muttered, "Smart ass."
Before I could respond, I heard Rose moving over to Bella's bedroom door. Standing up quickly, I turned just as she appeared at the railing.
"You can come up, Jasper." She said, smiling softly down at me.
A gust of air left me in relief and I immediately started up as I heard Charlie go back to the living room.
When I made it to the top, Rose placed her hand on my arm to stop me from going further.
"Don't get close and don't expect her to speak to you."
"I won't." I said, needing just to see her.
"And don't sit there and stare at her. It will make her uncomfortable."
"I know," I said, trying to keep the impatience out of my voice.
She looked at me for a moment before nodding and moving her hand away. I walked around her and went to Bella's door as she followed behind me. My eyes found Bella sitting in the corner of the bed, her legs drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them with her chin on her knees.
Her eyes were on me and as I moved to sit as far away as possible I could feel them follow me.
Once I was sitting on the floor, my back against the wall, I offered up a greeting. "Hey, Bella."
She didn't return it, but her eyes stayed on me and I floundered. Now that I was here, I was at a loss.
Thankfully, Rose was there. However, I did feel a moment of jealousy when she sat on the end of Bella's bed, but I pushed it aside quickly before I accidentally let it slip out. It wasn't Rose's fault and she was helping; if Bella unwinding her arms and scooting closer to her without hesitation was any indication.
As Rose got the books they would need straightened out, I took a moment to take in Bella more. The first thing I noticed was how tired she looked. The dark circles under her eyes made her pale skin look sallow. I knew she wasn't sleeping much, but now I wondered if she slept at all. I also noticed that she'd lost a little weight, weight she didn't need to lose.
I sighed and knew that we couldn't let those things continue. I wasn't about to stand by and let her waste away to nothing.
"Jasper, stop it." Rose whispered quickly, bringing my eyes to her.
I found her glaring back at me and I realized I'd been staring at Bella to the point that I'd sent her back to the way she'd been sitting when we first came in.
Closing my eyes, I dropped my head, feeling horrible. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen, I didn't want to scare her and I'd done just that.
I decided to spend the rest of my time here with my head down, a signature surrender pose in our world, hoping it would help Bella to know that I wasn't going to hurt her.
Rose was quiet for a few minutes before she started talking to Bella about her math homework. Another ten minutes passed before I heard Bella move again and then the only sound was pencil meeting paper or Rose's voice explaining something.
After an hour, I finally heard Rose tell Bella they were finished. I took a chance and looked up, seeing Rose slide from the bed as Bella went back to her corner.
Rose motioned for me to stand and I did, but sent her a dose of confusion. She ignored me for the moment and as she placed her hand on the door she turned back to Bella and said, "We'll see you later."
I caught the minute nod of Bella's head before Rose was pushing me out into the hallway and shutting the door behind her.
"I thought I was supposed to be tutoring her in history," I whispered as we started down the stairs.
"You are, but you can't rush it. She has to get used to you being there first. So tomorrow when we come back, talk and don't freak her out by just staring at her." She hissed back.
I sighed and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't even realize I was, but she doesn't look good."
"I know." Rose said sadly.
"How did it go?" Charlie asked as we met him at the bottom of the stairs.
"Okay," Rose answered, thankfully not telling him that I scared her. "It's just going to take time."
"Yeah," Charlie said moving into the kitchen.
Rose and I both stepped into the doorway and we watched as he grabbed a glass of water.
As he drank it Rose said, "I'm going to head home and help Esme cook you two some dinner. I'll bring it over later."
"Neither one of you need to do that, Rose," Charlie said.
"I know, but we want to Charlie. And while Carlisle might not like it, it will be something a little on the fattening side, but I'll talk to him about more options too." Charlie gave her a strange look and she smiled. "Jasper will explain. I want to get home and then to the grocery store."
He nodded and looked to me as Rose left the house. I walked further into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.
When he joined me I said, "She's losing weight."
"She is?" He asked as sadness and a sense of failure flowed out of him.
"You aren't doing anything wrong, Charlie." I said quickly. "It's not a lot and it isn't noticeable to the human eye yet, but we need to make sure it doesn't get worse."
"Okay," he said with a sigh.
"There is something else though," I said.
"What?"
"I don't think she's sleeping at all. A lot of times I'll hear her ipod or pages turning in a book, but then sometimes it's really quiet and I thought she was sleeping then, but seeing her I don't think that's the case. She just looks exhausted and her skin is getting a yellowish tinge to it."
"Why?"
"I don't know, but I think Rose needs to broach the subject with her when she comes back. If she isn't sleeping then her health will suffer and getting her healed will take even longer."
"Okay," He said. "Hopefully, she can find out then. That way we can get her the help she needs."
I nodded and sat back in my chair, leaving Charlie to his thoughts. It was about half an hour later when he moved to the living room. I followed and we spent the rest of the morning and afternoon watching the sports channel. He did take Bella up a sandwich, chips, and a soda around noon and I could hear her eating, which brought a little comfort. As did the music that floated down from her ipod when she was finished.
Rose returned just before 5, her arms full with food. For dinner that night, she'd brought hamburgers, fries, a smoothie, and chocolate cake, but she also had a breakfast casserole for the next morning and some kind of pasta stuff for lunch. She also had a bunch of papers that she handed half of to Charlie.
"I talked to Carlisle and he gave me that as an alternative for unhealthy food to help her gain weight. I figured you could pick out things you like, so Esme and I don't cook something you won't eat. I also made Bella a copy to choose things."
"Thank you, Rose." He said and I sent her the gratitude he couldn't express in words.
"You're welcome, Charlie. Although, you might want to think about adding some exercise into your daily routine, since you eating this stuff will cause you to gain as well. I'm also going to see if Bella will go on walks or something with me to help build up strength. Plus, the fresh air will do her good."
He nodded and as he looked through the food list I brought up the sleeping issue. "Rose, when you go up will see if you can find out why she isn't sleeping?"
"Of course," she said. "But you know it's probably because she's afraid of having nightmares."
I closed my eyes at that, something I hadn't even thought about, because if that was the case there wasn't anything we could do, short of medicating her. And I did not want it to go that far.
"I'll find out," Rose said as she walked by me, causing me to open my eyes.
I nodded at her and watched until she'd disappeared upstairs with Bella's dinner. I heard her knock softly and alert Bella that it was her before pushing the door open.
I moved over to the table as she gave Bella her dinner and as Charlie ate I listened to Rose explain about the food list. She also mentioned getting out for walks and I assumed Bella nodded an agreement to the request because Rose said good and they would start them in a few days.
"Bella, are you sleeping?" Rose asked after a few minutes of silence.
There was a pause before Rose asked, "Are you afraid to sleep?"
Another pause and then Rose asked, "Can you tell me why, so I can see if I can help?"
The silence from upstairs was deafening for a good ten minutes, but then the most amazing sound floated down to my ears and I sat forward quickly, startling Charlie. He gave me a look and I held up a hand to stop him from asking questions.
"She's talking," I said, to keep his curiosity at bay for the moment.
"I'm afraid," Bella whispered.
"Of having nightmares?" Rose asked.
A small pause and then Rose asked, "It's okay, Bella. You can tell me and I'll do what I can to help. I promise."
Yet, another pause and then Bella's voice met my ears again. "I'm afraid of him hurting me."
I felt Rose's understanding slam into me as she said, "He can't hurt you anymore. Charlie would never allow that."
It didn't bother me at all that she hadn't added my name as well because Bella didn't know I was watching over her.
I focused back on the conversation as Bella spoke. "But what if Charlie hurts me?"
"Charlie would never hurt you, Bella." Rose said, her voice taking on a soothing tone.
I heard Bella take in a deep breath and when she started speaking, I had to fight the sudden urge to cause pain. The anger that coursed through me at what she'd been through, was almost more than I could take and the only thing that kept me in my chair was knowing how much fear I would cause her.
"When I went to sleep, I never knew when or if he'd wake me up to hit me or do other things. Sometimes, I'd wake up during and sometimes I don't think I woke up at all. I'm scared that will happen again."
"That will never happen here," Rose said. "Charlie would die before doing anything to hurt you. You're his daughter."
"I was also his daughter." Bella whispered. "He was nice at first and then he changed. What if Charlie does too?"
"Oh, Bella. Charlie is nothing like him. I swear that Charlie is a good man, he's kind, and he loves you so much. He wants nothing more than to make it so you feel safe."
"Really?" Bella asked, her voice skeptical.
"Yes," Rose answered. "He's worried about you and he only wants to help. Can you tell me what he can do?"
"There..." Bella started and then trailed off.
"Go ahead." Rose prodded.
After a few seconds, Bella said, "There isn't a lock on my door. There wasn't one at the other house either."
"A lock?" Rose asked. "Will that make you feel safer?"
An almost to brief pause before Rose said, "Okay, that we can fix right now."
I was out of my chair before she made it to Bella's door.
"Come on, Charlie," I said as Rose came down to the kitchen.
"Where are we going?" He asked, standing up quickly.
"To get a lock for Bella's door," I answered as Rose nodded and threw me her keys before going back up to Bella's room. "I'll explain on the way."
He didn't ask questions, just followed me out of the house. We climbed into Rose's car and as I drove us to town I told him what Bella had said. To say he was upset, would be an understatement, and I did my best to pretend I didn't see the tears he tried to hide.
Once we pulled into the hardware store's parking lot, I said, "I'll go in and grab what we need."
He nodded his thanks and I stepped out of the car. I picked the best lock they had as well as one of those hotel latch things and was back in the car within ten minutes.
The drive back was silent and I knew Charlie was once again lost in thought. When we returned, he took the locks from me, grabbed his toolbox, and went upstairs.
He knocked on Bella's door and when Rose opened it he said, "I'm here to help."
Nothing came from Bella, but that didn't stop him from getting to work. It took him about an hour to get the deadbolt and the latch put in place.
Once he was finished, he said. "This is the only key, Bella."
Again there wasn't a response, but he came downstairs soon after.
He looked at me standing in the kitchen, sadness pouring off him in waves, before going into the living room. I let him be, knowing he wanted to be alone and turned my attention upstairs.
"Does this make you feel a little better?" Rose asked.
No words came from Bella, and I figured she was back to nodding, confirmed when Rose spoke again.
"What do you want to do with the key? You can hide it after I leave or we can even flush it down the toilet."
The toilet flushing seconds later told me Bella's unspoken answer and then Rose was moving to her bedroom door.
"I'm going to go now," Rose said. "But can you do something for me?"
A beat of silence was followed by Rose asking, "Will you try and get some sleep?"
"I'll try," Bella whispered and again I was hit with how much hearing her voice made things a little better.
"That's all I ask," Rose said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
A second of silence came before Bella's bedroom door opened and closed. Rose walked downstairs and as she stopped in the living room to remind Charlie to look over the food list I heard Bella move off her bed just before the lock clicked and the latch flipped.
I breathed a sigh of relief as Rose walked into the kitchen. Looking up at her, I sent her my love and gratitude.
She sent her love for me back and said, "It's not a lot, but I think it will help some of the issues with sleeping. Unfortunately, she'll probably have nightmares and there won't be anything we can do about those. At least until she's ready to talk to someone about what happened."
I nodded in understanding, but knew I was going to have a difficult time if she did have bad dreams and I could do nothing to soothe them away. I could only hope that the lock would give her enough comfort to let her sleep somewhat peacefully.
-O-
Well? How was it?
Next Update: Jasper finally gets the call he's been waiting on.
Okay, now the poll. I've decided to go ahead and get read for my next set of stories, even though I'm not even close to being done on a few of my others, but I want to be able to have a plan. I've decided that while 5 at once is too many, 3 would be okay. So, I will for certain be doing a Carlisle/Bella one and a Peter/Bella one, but out of my Jasper/Bella ones I can't decide. That is where you guys come in. There is a poll on my profile for you to vote, the summaries are there as well. Vote for the two you would like to see next and come next Monday I will then have a poll to vote between those two. The same poll is up in my group on Facebook and you can vote there as well. Voting will go until Sunday at noon eastern time.