3

It's Not You

Xin is wearing dark blue jeans and a white shirt. His hair is loose and he seems to have shed most of his usual jewellery. Even the grinning bomb earring has been replaced by a plain silver hoop. "Hey," he says, as Reno approaches, but he makes no move, leaning on the bar, acting casual.

"Hey."

Xin downs his drink and looks at Reno's face. "Okay," he says. "I guess this is 'we need to talk', yeah?"

Reno thinks about Rufus, who he's certain is the one responsible for Trig's shift having been swapped with Tseng's.

"Let's go outside," Reno says.

Pushing open the fire door and stepping into the alley behind the bar, Reno says, "So – yeah. I guess you're right. I reckon we should stop. There's a reason I don't do this. Couple of reasons. My job –"

"I don't care about your job. I like you, Reno. You and me – we're good together. I know there's that guy you won't tell me nothin' about up on the plate – I can live with that. It's not like I've ever asked you for nothing more than this – the nights you're free and up for it."

"I know. But – it's safer if we don't.

"Safer? Oh. Oh right. You get to decide what's safe for me?"

"No – but –"

Xin waves his hand, dismissive. His temper is a match for Reno's own. "Don't! I'm not desperate. If you're done, you're done. I wasn't – but that's how it goes, I guess. It was good while it lasted, anyway."

"Yeah. Yeah – it was."

"Maybe I'll see you round, Reno?"

"Yeah."

Xin turns to go, then turns back, catches Reno's arm, pushes him clumsily against the wall and kisses him. Reno doesn't object at all. He still doesn't object a few seconds later, when Xin reaches for his cock and finds that it's already hard.

x

As the car makes its way back towards the ShinRa building, Rufus asks Tseng, "Assuming Veld hasn't ordered Reno to sleep with me, what's his attitude to the situation?"

"He must have sanctioned Reno's continued participation, if that's what you're asking," Tseng replies. "But all that means is that he hasn't ordered Reno not to sleep with you."

"Why's that, do you think? It's hardly normal professional behaviour for a Turk to allow himself to get - entangled - with a senior member of staff. Orders aside, I presume."

"It may be a matter of containment, as you said. If you were to indulge in anything more public, your father would almost certainly find out, and the repercussions could be undesirable. Reno's very visibility makes him invisible in some circumstances, and his discretion is absolute when it comes to anything work-related. He was - a good choice." A thought clearly occurs to Tseng, and Rufus can tell that he finds it an alarming one, but his tone is perfectly conversational as he adds, "I'm assuming that Reno was your choice, and not the other way around?"

"Of course!" Rufus replies, astonished at these Turks and their presumption. "You think Reno would have dared - ?"

"There's very little I wouldn't put past Reno," Tseng says, half smiling. "But - no, professionally I doubt he would have taken that risk. He does have a Turk's sense of self-preservation."

"So, if Veld ordered him to stop, he'd stop?"

Tseng looks at Rufus, and again there's that look of pity that Rufus can't stand. "I can't answer that. Only you know the status of your relationship with him."

"Huh. I'm not sure 'relationship' is the word for it. Anyway, as far as containment goes, it's not as though he's my boyfriend or anything stupid like that. We're both free to see other people. He seems to be seeing this Xin quite often. And I – well, I could have taken that girl home, but she's not my type. I do prefer men in general. Older men."

Tseng makes no reply.

They drive the rest of the way in silence, but as they pull up to the ShinRa building, Rufus leans across, takes hold of Tseng's lapel and kisses him firmly on the mouth. Tseng responds with infuriating politeness, returning the kiss with a slight answering pressure before moving away.

"Will you report that to Veld?" Rufus asks.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Tseng replies, getting out of the car and walking around to open the door for Rufus. "Cassie will escort you to your rooms. Goodnight, Sir."

x

In bed, in the darkness of the Turk's apartment, Xin strokes Reno's hair and says, "You can call me Tseng this time. You know - if you want."

Reno tenses. "How did you know?" He leans across Xin and turns on the light, looking into those dark eyes. Xin doesn't look away. "That first time," Xin says, "You said my name was 'close enough'. I didn't know what you meant then – didn't care much at the time. But then you called me the next day. I didn't think you'd call. I got to wondering and asked a few questions in the bar. He's from Wutai, ain't he? Or half, like me?"

"Like you… Yeah, but you ain't him."

"And that's why you want to finish it?"

"No – I don't want to, but I have to. I shouldn't've started – Thought it would be one night, and you'd never know."

"But you needed it – to keep imagining it was him?"

"No. It was that, the first couple of times. But you're not him. I – like the other stuff, you know? What you can do with an engine – that bike of yours – that take-out on the edge of Six - Lara and Jake and the others. But I don't get it – if you knew, how come you didn't tell me to get lost?"

"Everyone wants something. I figured you were way out of my league, but, don't ask, don't get, you know? I thought, 'if that's what it costs…'"

"It don't cost nothin', Xin. You're good. If things were different…"

Xin laughed. "Oh, right. It's not me, it's you?"

"It's what I do is the problem. Anyone outside of that winds up in danger, in the end."

"I know you're a Turk. I ain't scared."

"You should be. I should never've kept this going so long. Look, Xin – I'm sorry about the Tseng stuff. That's my problem. That's something that would - cost too much." Reno reaches to touch Xin's face. Xin is very attractive, but, as Reno told Rufus, not actually all that like Tseng. His face is squarer, his mouth smaller and fuller, his nose wider. At first glance, or across a smoky bar – yes, then the likeness is striking. But this close, it's Xin, and he looks completely different from Tseng. If Tseng were this close –

But that's never going to happen. Some things, as Reno would explain to Rufus, if he could think of any argument Rufus might accept – some things you just can't have. Tseng is one of them. A relationship with Xin that goes beyond sex – that's another. Reno's seen it before – Rude and Chelsea – Veld and his wife and daughter – the casualties of getting involved with ShinRa. And Reno's already involved with ShinRa and Shinra. Sometimes he just wants something on the outside. He's managed it before by always keeping things to a couple of nights at most, but he's already allowed Xin a mile over that line, which means time's up.

Reno runs his fingers through Xin's hair, not thinking about Tseng at all, really. He's going to miss this. Sometimes, with Xin and his friends, he felt almost like a normal person. "This ain't fair," Reno says. "I'll go."

"No," Xin replies, touching his fingers to the tattoos on Reno's cheekbones. "Stay tonight. Like I said – you can call me Ts-"

"- Don't wanna call you nothin' but Xin," Reno interrupts, kissing him – leaving the light on for the first and last time.

x

Rod nudges Cassie as Rude heads for the bar to get more drinks. "Cass – you know what's up between Reno and the VP? Looks like Tseng's getting all Reno's duties with him now. Reno do something wrong, you think?"

"I don't think it's about Reno," Cassie replies, flipping back her long ponytail as she drains the last of her beer.

"What – Tseng and Rufus?"

"Shh! Keep your voice down, for fuck's sake! Honestly Rod! Anyway, even if I knew anything, I'd have to kill you if I told you."

"So you do know something?"

"So you want me to kill you?"

"But I thought - Reno and the VP? Either that, or Reno and Tseng. I mean, no denying that guy Reno keeps meeting here looks a helluva lot like Tseng."

Both Turks fall silent as Rude returns, setting their drinks down on the table. Cassie shoots Rod a warning look, but he can't hold back his curiosity. "Rude – is Reno with Rufus?" he asks. "Only, it seems the VP and Tseng –"

"What about it?"

"Do you think Rufus and Tseng –"

"I don't think it's any of our business," Rude replies, frowning. Rod takes the hint and changes the subject, but while he's busy chatting to Cassie, Rude ponders the question. There's no doubt in his mind that Reno is more attached to Rufus than he'll ever confess, and yet after his nights with Rufus, Reno is often touchy and unsettled. It seems clear from his own observations that Rufus is currently pursuing Tseng quite deliberately. Why? Are things coming to an end with Reno? Is the VP really interested in Tseng, or is he doing it to get back at Reno for something? Rude decides to keep quiet on the subject unless his partner brings it up first. He knows Reno. Reno will tell him what he needs to, when he's ready.