"Dean? DEAN! Can you hear me, come on man wake up"
Dean's black eyelashes fluttered and nose wrinkled as he began to regain consciousness, he slowly opened his eyes, feeling woozy, and his head was still splitting.
"Jimmy?"
Dean asked still in the mind set of the hospital. Once he spoke he realised he was back on a crappy motel bed, which was still actually more comfy then the old worn out one in the hospital
"Dean? What? No its Sam"
"Sam? Sam!"
Dean was now fully awake and sat up like a shot and pulled his brother in for a hug, completely overwhelmed to see his brothers face again.
"Are you alright Dean? You had us worried"
At this Dean's eyes went from his brothers beaming face to the figure he saw sitting out the corner of his eye, sitting on a chair to the side of the room. It was Castiel; at least it looked like him.
"Cas? Is that you?"
Dean scanned Cas' body up and down, it did look like his angel right down to the trench coat. Castiel stood up, the sides of his mouth curved into a rare smile
"Hello Dean"
Cas' low husky growl of a voice was like music to Dean's ears, he was home. Dean couldn't help but smile uncontrollably at Cas, fighting away the urged to throw his arms around him.
"It's fantastic to see you guys"
"Where did you go?"
Dean looked at Sam puzzled at the question, he couldn't go anywhere, he was unconscious at the motel,
"In here"
Sam added tapping his head with his index finger, as he spoke Castiel moved closer, needed to know what Dean has to say.
"It was strange I was in that room I told Cas about, everything was the same than here, but different."
"Dean you know that makes no sense right?"
Dean's eyes turned to the floor as he stood and on slightly wobberly legs he paced the length on the crummy room, trying to remember every detail. He looked at his wrists they were burning
"What the hell?"
Cas was by his side before he had even finished, inspected his wrists. There were red marks from the restraints of the hospital bed. Cas' warm soft hands lightly ran over the marks, his touch gave Dean Goosebumps. Dean breathed in a sharp breath as he saw the concentration and what seemed like affection on Cas' angelic face. It reminded Dean of Jimmy and how he spoke softly into his ear before he woke up. Dean watched as the angel carefully soothed his red bruises with his gentle touch. The angel reluctantly let go on the hunter's hands, which Dean cursed him for.
"Dean, I'm sorry I couldn't reach you"
Cas voice was now no more than a whisper full of guilt. Dean felt terrible that Cas blamed himself, forgetting himself momentarily he placed his hand on Cas' cheek and moved his head, so his eyes connected with the endless blue that never failed to amaze him.
"It's okay"
Dean reassured Cas and smiled gently. Cas, although looked slightly uncomfortable with this new form of contact between them, tenderly smiled a soft smile back.
"Tell us everything"
Sam's voice introduced himself back into the room, which had forgotten he was there. Dean let Cas' face go, which was rough under is touch and tickled his palm.
"You might want to sit down Sammy"
Sam did so and Dean began, he spoke of everything. That Gabriel was his doctor, Alistair wasn't a demon and he wasn't in hell, about there dad being a killer and not dead, that Sam was married to Jessica with a baby on the way and about Castiel well not everything about him, Dean left out the part where he and Jimmy seemed to be in some sort of weird relationship. When he had finished even Castiel was perched on the edge of the bed.
"Wow Dean, you really are crazy"
"Sammy this isn't funny, that place felt real. I mean seriously fucking real, more real than this"
"Dean it was all in your head, that vampire really laid into you"
"But I was dreaming about that place before the god damn vampire!"
Sam didn't have any answers for Dean, and turned to the one person that might
"Cas?"
"It was in your head there no question about that but, why do you keep going there?"
"You see that is exactly what you said there, a few nights ago!"
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose he could feel his headache worsen. Cas moved closer and sat down next to Dean
"We'll sort this out; I'm going to help you"
"We both will"
Sam added, Dean looked from Sam to Cas and nodded.
"Okay, I don't know if I could handle more of you in that place Cas?"
Dean had over shared and new it, then he went read as he remembered the feel of Jimmy's lips, how soft they were and how, now looking Cas he wanted more. Cas did his customary confused look with his trade mark head tilt; Dean decided it was his kitten look. Sam had already adopted the puppy one and Cas' was much more amusing and adorable, in Dean's opinion. Sam lent forward to catch anything else Dean said as quickly as possible. Dean of course said no more and stood up and walked out of the situation,
"Wait Dean, I think I've got it. Think about it in that hospital you didn't go to hell, dad was alive, mum never go it killed by a demon and I was married, those are the things you wanted right? So what ever is coursing this is sending you to your dream world. Okay so the dreams are fucked up but when you think about it you've got everything you want there right?"
What Sam said made sense and Cas agreed that this was a liable explanation. Dean thought about it. He thought about Jimmy and his lip's, that's not what Dean wanted, was it?
"No, no way Sammy, I do not want that"
Dean's eyes involuntarily moved to Cas and Sam saw,
"Dean what are you not telling us"
"We should call Bobby"
Dean tried to change the subject, it worked everyone was too freaked to argue that they needed help. Dean got out his cell and pressed the speed dial for Bobby and listened to it ring,
"Hey Bobby its Dean"
Dean wasn't able to say anymore, because Cas, zapped them to the salvage yard, 4 feet from Bobby's nose, he was worried for Dean and didn't want to wait for permission.
"What the hell?"
Bobby said to the boys, still talking down the phone.
"Hey bobby we have a problem"
"What have you idjits gotten into now"
Dean caught everyone's gaze and attention when he fell to his knees screaming in pain holding his head.
"DEAN?"
Sam shouted panicked and ran to his brother's aid, there were tears streaming down Deans cheeks
"I can ahhhhh! see the room again Cas, ahhhhh! Cas help me! I don't want to go back, ahhhhh please don't make me go back!"
Dean was pleading with Cas. And at Deans surprising bid for help, Sam stood back unsure why Dean choose the angel over him, but with no time to lull it over as bobby swung him around
"What's going on boy?"
Bobby was worried as hell and demanded Sam tell him. Sam looked once more at Dean, who was being held up by Cas
"Go, I'll watch over him, find out how to stop it"
With that Sam was dragged into the library to dig deep into anything they could lay their hands on, hoping something has the answer for helping Dean. Cas moved the stumbling, weeping, disoriented Dean to the sofa here he lay down, clinging to Cas' coat pulling him closer.
"Help me Cas, make it stop, it don't want to go back"
Dean's voice was heart breaking, he sounded like a child that had been ripped from his parents and was begging to go home. Dean's eyes were tightly shut and mouth open silently screaming in pain, a tear rolled down Castiel's cheek, seeing Dean in so much pain had an odd effect on Cas that he couldn't explain. Stroking Dean's hair Cas felt his heart drop
"I'm sorry Dean, there's nothing I can do"
Cas held Dean in his arms, praying the pain would stop
"I see you, Jimmy. I see Jimmy, he's ahhhhh! he's smiling. You're happy here Cas ahhhhh"
"Dean, fight it, stay with me. Dean?"
Cas spoke in a desperate plea but it was too late. With one last gut retching scream of his angel's name, Dean fell unconscious in Cas' arms. Castiel held him, he didn't want to let him go, but knew he had to. Cas gently gave Dean a secret kiss on his forehead whilst breathing in Dean's familiar warming smell, before repositioning Dean to make him comfortable.
He knew that Bobby and Sam needed assistance in their extensive session of research. But Cas promised to watch over Dean, and that is what he is going to do, however long he was lost for. Castiel would wait for Dean, forever if need be.
Sitting on a chair next to the now peaceful looking hunter that was silent and still, Cas held Dean's cold and clammy hand with his left and stroked it softly with his right.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't stop it Dean"
Cas whispered to himself before moving his forehead against the hunter's flimspy hand and for the first time in a millennia, he let the tears roll freely down his vessel's face.