Dean shot up, tears fresh warm against his face and body soaked with a cold sweat, he was back on that old creaky metal bed. Though he was happy to see that restraints weren't used this time, he was sadden to see that he was back in the place where they were used.

Dean sighed a heavy painful sigh, he sighed out all the physical pain he had been feeling, that had gone to ridicules heights in the last few days, is brain felt like it was close to boiling point. He sighed all the emotional pain of finally realising his feelings only to be ripped from the angel that stirred such emotions who near enough confessed the same emotions stirred inside him. Dean sighed; anger, confusion, frustration and pain, as he wiped the tears from his stained cheeks. This was getting ridicules and he was so sick of this whole world jumping thing plus by his point of view he hasn't slept in god knows how long.

The door then opened slowly and Jimmy walked in. Dean was still not thinking straight; saw those eyes, that mouth, that body and acted on impulse he strolled over to Jimmy and throw his arms around him holding him tight. He breathed in to smell the heavenly smell of old spice only to get his nostrils attacked by the sent of vanilla, this was not Castiel. And Dean released the man from his monster grip.

"Hello Dean."

"Hey."

Running one hand up Jimmy's face whilst examining his features carefully and slowly. His slender neck, ruff jaw line, messy hair and dry lips, everything was identical to his angel. The tender moment seemed to last forever.

"You know it's amazing…"

Dean softly told Jimmy as he cupped his cheek.

"…how much you look like him."

"Of course I do Dean, you created him from me. Who else is he going to look like?"

Jimmy stroked his lovers face as there foreheads rested on each others. Dean ran this through his mind.

"What if, what if it's the other way around? I have feelings for this angel but know I couldn't have him, so in my dream world I create you, someone I can be with."

Dean moved away from Jimmy and looked at him smiling at the guy in front of him. He took Jimmy's hand

"Someone I can touch, and hold and kiss."

On the word kiss he place one lightly on Jimmy's neck. Dean stopped and although he spoke the truth he hated seeing what it did to Jimmy's eyes;

"And you're perfect. Except you're not him."

"Dean you can have me, hold me, kiss me but not because you created me, but because I am here, real, living and breathing,"

Jimmy put Dean's hand over his heart so Dean could feel just how strong and fast it was beating.

"And because I love you."

As Jimmy finished speaking he closed the gap between them, he pressed his lips softly and lovingly to Dean's who's eyes were half closed when Jimmy pulled away. Dean's hand was still on Jimmy's chest as he felt Jimmy's heart, he remembered how Cas held him, he remembered the feel of Cas' heat, how it beat and how each beat sent shivers through his body, knowing it beat for him. And he said in a low husky voice;

"I love… I love Castiel. I'm sorry Jimmy but I love him."

"Dam it Dean!"

Jimmy shouted as he turned away from his almost lover covering his eyes for fear of crying.

"Castiel is not real. He was created by you, as an angel because I replaced Alistair and you really didn't like him but you did me. An angel because you're self worth is so low you made me into a some supreme being."

Jimmy turned back around and cupped Dean's face, begging him to understand and for his words to get through to the confused man before him.

"You created Castiel. By definition he is beauty, strength and purity, a creature you could never have because you don't believe you truly deserve him. Me, you think you don't deserve my love and to be loved, well you do Dean, you do."

Dean listened he listened hard, what said made sense. He closed his eyes to mull over the information. He raised his hand and stroked Jimmy's soft but ruff cheek, he knew he was ready to accept it.

He was willing to except Jimmy and he wanted him the way he wanted this world if it weren't one thing.

"But Cas loves me back."

"No. I love you back. It's the drugs Dean. Cas is being more and more responding and loving towards you because I have always been that way. You're retaining more of me when you go into your head."

Dean was silent he didn't want to fight with Jimmy. Just like he didn't want to fight with Castiel. Jimmy or Cas, doesn't matter which world he wakes up in, they are reality to him and makes him want to stay. Which ever world he wakes up in Dean fall's in love with because he is in it. Dean moved away from Jimmy, both worlds seemed real, did it really matter which one was?

"Your brothers here."

Jimmy told him voice still shaky and quiet, deans eyes instantly shot up.

"Sammy?"

"yes, he is waiting."

Then for no particular reason he suddenly moved and crashed his lips against Jimmy's for a quick passionate chaste kiss, before parting.

"Thank you"

Dean then left the room to find Sam, followed by a giddy Jimmy to show him the way. Dean was excited, like a kid on Christmas Eve, not that he ever experienced the feeling for himself. He was going to meet his alternative brother; the civilian brother, with a job, a house, a wife and even a baby on the way. Sam must be so happy, no loss, no pain, no demon hell bitch, no demon blood just a pure happy apple pie life.

Dean had so many questions about his life, a life that belonged to him, a life he doesn't remember and a life that could in fact be real.

Cas sat in the back seat of the impala, stroking Dean's hair softly as he listened to the rings waiting for Sam to answer.

"Hello Sam."

There was so much pain and sorrow in his voice Sam instantly feared the worse.

"Is he dead?"

"No."

"Is he alright?"

"No, he's. He's in his head again. I couldn't stop it. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Cas."

"Can you come and get us?"

"Can't you just zap him back here?"

"No. I don't want to in his condition. I don't want to cause him anymore pain or discomfort."

"Well drive him back."

"The car is not driveable; Dean crashed it into a tree. So you will need to bring a tow truck."

"Crashed! Is he okay?"

"Yes I got him out in time."

"Thank you Cas. Now tell me where you are, I'm coming to get you."

Once back at bobby's Cas carefully placed Dean into bed. He softly removed Dean's boots and slid his body under the sheets all the while being gentle and tender. Then Cas rejoined Bobby and Sam downstairs.

He didn't have the energy to fly so he walked, it was slow even though it took less then 2 minutes it was 2 minutes longer then It would have taken, so that gave Cas two minutes to think. By the time he walked into the library Cas had a tear stained cheek that was only visible in the light, It was obvious the tear had been wiped before entering and neither Bobby or Sam intended to bring it up, they hadn't the heart. Cas seemed so…human, in his pain.

"What can I do?"

Cas asked desperate to help Dean and be kept busy, Cas didn't think he could handle another two minutes to himself to think. Sam handed Cas a book, and the three of them settled down for more reading.

"What if he doesn't wake up?"

Sam asked the question that was on all their minds but everyone else managed to repress it. At the sound of this question being vocalised Cas put the book, he wasn't really reading probably and left the room, he couldn't listen to it. Bobby looked at Sam.

"You idjit, why would you even say that?"

"I'm sorry, but what if he doesn't?"

"He will."

"How do you know?"

Sam asked he was desperate for Bobby to answer him and reassure him his brother will be okay, it didn't come. Bobby wished he could say with absolute certainty Dean would be okay but he couldn't, so instead he divined back into his book.

Another 5 minutes went by and Bobby peered over the top of his book and saw Sam looking at the floor, one leg moved up and down not being able to stay still. His breathing was silent but heavy; bobby felt his heart drop and stomach knot at the sight of Sam desperately fighting away the tears. Bobby wheeled over to the boy so he was sitting beside him and put his hand on Sam's shoulder. At his touch Sam looked instantly at Bobby, eyes red and his bottom lip quivering.

"Its okay boy, let it out."

With that Sam threw his arms tightly around Bobby and exploded with tears, he didn't think they would ever stop.

"I want my big brother back!"

Sam wined out in-between gasps for breath.

"I know, I know."

Bobby spoke softly, it was a sensitive side to Bobby that he didn't let show much, but it was there and Sam needed it. Sam needed someone strong to tell him it was all going to be alright. Without Dean, Sam was lost; it had always been that way since forever. Even at Stanford when he had a hard day he just wanted to call Dean. Dean could make him feel better with just one look, not that he very told him so. There is nothing like an older brother.

After all they have been through Sam couldn't deal with the idea of loosing Dean. But not even in battle or some heroic rescue, but have him slip away into his mind before Sam's eyes, he could let Dean just fade away, but there was nothing he could do. That was what hurt the most, the feeling of helplessness there was nothing he could do. These books were getting them nowhere and he and Bobby knew it. Sam clung to Bobby scarred of him letting go, a tear fell down Bobby ruff exterior.

The idea of Dean upstairs was more painful than anything he could remember, but the sound of Sam cries, the sound of Sam being so vulnerable and lost, simply broke Bobby's heart. He took hold of Sam's shoulders and looked him dead in the eye.

"Look hear boy, Dean will be okay you understand, I promise that Dean will be okay. I am going to help him."

Okay so Bobby had no idea how to help Dean, and Sam new he didn't. But he also knew Bobby would do anything to keep them safe and to keep his word. When the tears streaming down Sam's face lessened and he could string a sentence together. Bobby let him go.

"Now go get us some beers."

Sam nodded and got up to go into the kitchen, when he stopped and turned to back to the elder man.

"Erm Bobby?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't, don't tell Dean?"

"You got it."

They shared a half hearted smile before Sam went to get them beer and Bobby tried to compose himself for when Sam came back in. It was going to be a long night.