sorry it took forever to upload

hope you enjoy the chapter xxx

Cas is started to snap in the supernatural world and in the hospital Dean starts to take medication :O which world is home?

Cas sighed deeply once the door was shut, he didn't know what to do or think or even feel. So yes he had kept Dean safe he fulfilled his promise of protection, but what was worrying him was how he knew Dean needed him. Cas could feel Dean's his pain he could feel what he was feeling. It was a worrying thought that Dean was becoming more powerful and angelic as a result of Cas' grace essence, if he was it would be very dangerous for a human to feel such power pumping through their veins just look at Sam, but it also meant Dean was becoming stronger so Cas decided not to worry too much.

After wiping the trickle of blood from his sore nose he made his way back to the bed picked up the damp cloth and gently wiped the blood from Dean's face being careful not to course him any pain. The room was filled with the sound of trickling water as Cas squeezed the cloth into the bowl now filled with red tinted water.

"It's okay Dean. Sam didn't mean it. It won't happen again. I promise you."

Tears filled Cas' eyes and silently cascaded down his face as he choked out his quiet promise to his charge. After placing the bowl and cloth to the floor Cas softly ran both hands up Dean's bare chest feel the muscles underneath his gently touch and shaking finger tips, his breath caught in his throat as he felt deans racing heart beating pounding in his chest. Cas ran his hands up and through Deans damp hair and slowly kissed Dean on the forehead then resting his forehead against the unconscious man's before him. As Cas' forehead came into contact with Dean's a flash of white light flickered in Cas' mind and he got a glimpse of a hospital bed and his brother Gabriel standing before Dean who was strapped to a bed. The flash gave him a sharp pain shooting through his mind. Cas reached up and clenched his head "ahhhhh!" the pain got worse and Cas' stomach jolted and flipped and he got the feeling of being sucked out of the bedroom, it was a little like flying but painful, more rough and without his will. After another flash of white light Cas could see clearly, he could see Dean on the floor in the corridor, staring at him. Tears filled both their eyes as Cas' previous words echoed throughout the room like surround sound.

"Please Dean, I don't know how much more I can take, how much anyone can take. Sam has red eyes most the time; I have gathered that comes with crying. He misses you Dean, I think it's slowly killing him watching his big brother fade away. Bobby seems more distant then normal, you told me once he killed his possessed wife, I guess he thinking about that, you're like a son to that man Dean. I think there loosing hope."

Both Dean and Cas looked around the room for root cause for the voice. Before long Dean was standing before the angel.

"Dean."

"Cas?"

Dean lent forward to kiss the angel something Cas has been longing for but Dean feel though.

"Dean I'm somehow projected myself into your mind I can't touch you. I don't have long, I can feel the power fading."

"Cas…"

"Fight Dean, please fight it."

"Fight what?"

"This world everything, it's not real we need you back, I need you back."

"I'm coming back to you Cas, whatever you do, don't loose hope please."

Cas then flickered and disappeared leaving no trace of his presence.

Cas lunged backward and hit the bedroom floor hard, causing a loud bang. Blood was streaming from his nose and mouth; Cas found it painful to move but forced himself to stand. He dived back to Dean, touching his head again and again, longing despite the pain to go back see Dean awake again even for a split second was worth all the pain the event could throw at him.

"Come on you son of a bitch, come on!"

Sam came running into the room after hearing the crash, to find Cas bleeding in tears lying on top of Dean hugging his chest clutching his arms. Sam didn't know what to say or do. What he did know was that Cas was obviously upset. More that that the poor human looked distort.

"Cas?"

"I saw him! I reached him!" Cas wailed the sound of this brought tears to Sam's eyes, he has never seen Cas to vulnerable not ever, he was curled up to his unconscious charge completely human and broken crying endless tears, day after day.

"Cas its okay, come on you need to get out of this room."

"NO."

At the idea of being separated from Dean after just being so close brought up heated rage inside Cas stomach he could feel it bubble. When Sam moved towards him he tried to fight the hunter of but was simply too weak to stop Sam as he near enough carried him out of the room.

Cas was screaming at the younger Winchester, Sam with surprising ease considering his weaker appearance and strength carried Cas downstairs and past a gapping bobby, who was rightfully rolling in confusion. Sam went into the living room he tried to place Cas on the sofa, but due to his wriggling and squirming he was more dropped. As soon as Cas touched ground he got straight back onto his unstable wobbly feet just to pushed back down again.

"Don't touch me you hairless ape!"

Cas shouted trying and failing to desperately wrestle past Sam who stood firm.

"news flash Cas, you are a hairy apes remember you cant just keep running on empty, you need to rest to eat to have a time out."

"look how talking, when's the last time you ate Sam?"

Sam was silent he couldn't keep Cas' gaze he felt like a complete hypocrite.

"what the hell is going on?" Bobby asked obviously annoyed glaring from one man to the next. "why are you bleeding, Sam what have you done?"

Bobby asked noticing Sam grazed knuckles. Sam fidgeted remembered what he did to his helpless brother upstairs, but he could linger on the thought for long as he just remembered what Cas said upstairs.

"Cas tell Bobby what you told me."

Cas sighed and sat back down, wiped the blood from his face and began.

"I don't know how it happened but I managed to get into his head, he's okay he looked healthy and is safe."

"what?" Bobby did not understand one word "How is he safe when he is not home?"

Cas shrugged stiffly as he stared at the floor beneath his feet.

"it's okay Cas, you rest ill take care of dean."

"no you wont not after what you just did."

Sam and Cas looked gaze both staring into each others eyes, neither one about to give up.

"right you know what" bobby started as he wheeled in-between them and demanded their attention "both of you get your asses in the kitchen and eat, now."

Both men felt like naughty children, they did what bobby said and left the living room without another word.

"why am I surrounded by such idjits?" bobby asked himself while looking at the ceiling.

Dean was left for 2 hours strapped to his very, very uncomfortable bed. For much of that time he was screaming and screaming to be untied, he hated the restraints it reminded him to much of hell. Being tied down like animal waiting for the slicing to began, he could practically smell the stripped of flesh. The white door slowly opened and jimmy walked through it. The sight he was met with didn't not please him. Dean had his eyes closed shaking his head and screaming "No, No, No!" again and again. Jimmy ran to his side, patted him gently on the cheeks trying to snap the sweating man out of it. "No please stop, stop!" dean continued.

"DEAN" Jimmy shouted, he could reach him, a thought name into Jimmies mind, it was stupid and probably wouldn't work but it was worth a try. Jimmy looked at his face and brought a hand up to Dean's cheek and stroked it with his thumb before lowed his head and tightly and roughly kissed Dean, though he was still screaming through the kiss, when Jimmy began to move his lips, Dean's screams slowly turned into moans as he started to kiss back. As their lips parted both men winced at the loss of contact and warmth, as Dean open his eyes he saw the figure before him.

"Hey."

"Hello Dean."

"It's good to see you."

"You too."

"Can you let me out?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't have the authority to do so."

"Christ Jimmy cant you do something?" A smile formed across Jimmies face, as butterflies flapped in his stomach and his mind felt light as it soared. "what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Jimmy told Dean as he moved towards Dean and kissed him again as he lovingly stroked Dean's arm. As they pulled away Dean got his answer. "you just called me Jimmy."

"Yeah baby what else would I call you?"

Both men looked at each other and smiled, before another word could be spoken, the door opened and Dr. Weston walked through the door. With a nod to Jimmy and then to Dean, without a word he undone the straps and after dean sat up he handed dean a little paper cup with three pills inside.

"What's this?"

"Your medication Dean, take the pills."

Dean looked at the doctor then to Jimmy who nodded Dean peered back down to the three coloured pills, Dean slowly took them from the Dr holding them in his hands they were tempting, really they were. But won't those pills will stop him from going home?

"Dean please take the pills." Jimmy begged Dean, who looked into the eyes those beautiful god dam eyes no one could ever say no to. But what about home? But where was home?

"Home is where the heart is."

A confused Dean said before taking the pills and downing the glass of water, he hinesty didnt know why he just said that. Jimmy blushed slightly and smiled fully at Dean's words. Dr Weston's eyes narrowed as he looked from one man to the next, he was rightly suspicious but had no proof of anything that would breech the professional relationship Jimmy and Dean were suppose to share. Jimmy was a good employee so didn't want to say anything rash that could put his job in jeopardy. Even so suspicion was set deep in the well intentioned doctors mind.

"Come on Dean, Jimmy you're no longer needed today."

Dean was shocked and opened his mouth to protested but managed to stop himself in time, remembering the warning Dr. Weston gave him about Jimmy. Even though Dean did stop himself his reaction was not missed by the Dr. Jimmy nodded and with a lingering look to Dean he left the room. When Jimmy was out of sight the doctor turned to Dean.

"Right, shall we walk?"

Dean watched the doctor walk to leave the room, Dean was staring he was very confused, he walked up to the man waiting by the door and stopped in front of his face scanning over his features.

"you alright Dean?"

"you look like someone I think I used to know or…huh never mind. Where we going?"

"The rec room thought we should discuss your medication on the way."

"okay."

Dean replied before leading the way, he fancied a relaxing time maybe a game of cards. Dean thought it strange considering he had been cooped up in the hospital for years yet he still feels that it's been forever since he stopped to relax. although couldnt shake this odd feeling dean had in his gutt, there was somthign about the docotor, it was strnage like a memory from a dream or...something.

"How are you feeling Dean?"

"Good doc, Sammy coming Wednesday?" Dean asked trying to change the subject.

"yeah, Jessicas had the baby."

"oh that's great! girl or boy?"

"boy, they named him Dean." A smile appeared on Dean's face and a single tear of choked up happiness fell down his cheek. "Sam will bring photos on Wednesday."

"wow cant wait for that."

"just make sure your awake."

"well if I'm asleep just wake me up, its not hard."

"I mean your reality."

"my what?"

The doctor stopped in his tracks and watched as Dean walked, he was smiling finally the drugs were starting to work, Dean was getting better.

"AHHH!"

"Dean?"

The doctor ran to dean who was on his knees holding his right cheek,

"son of a bitch!"

Pins and needles ran through his face centring on his cheek. Dean suddenly fell to his knees from the force that hit him in the face again, now he was holding his nose. It didn't particularly hurt but there was the shock of it to deal with and the buzzing feeling around the struck area again felt strange, almost like pain absent from pain, it hurt but at the same time it didn't feel, though that sounded crazy.

"what the hell!"

Dean shouted at seeing the warm trickle of blood that ran from his nose.

"stay with me Dean."

The doctor said holding onto Dean's clothes.

"what the fuck are you on about doc, I'm not going anywhere, Jesus. What the hell was that?"

Dean scrabbled to his feet, still in a state of shock.

"Dean?" Dr. Weston asked sounding as confused as Dean felt, if not more.

"I'm good I'm good." The doctor stared at him, waiting to see if he was going back into his world but he didn't. "Dude that was fucked up, I swear I saw Sam punching me in the fucking face."

This made both men laugh as they continued walking down the corridor, when the doctor had to have a chat with a nurse about some patient, Dean waited for him to finish, suddenly out of no where Jimmy appeared in front of Dean, with a flash of light he was only a few inches away. Making Dean fall backwards, he stared at the man that seemed to be glowing. It didn't look like Jimmy, well he did exactly like him but he looked so different at the same time, though he still got those butterflies he gets with Jimmy if not more. His nose was bleeding too and he was wearing some ugly ass trench coat, but he looked so familiar like a memory long forgotten and impossible to remember like this man was an echo of a life past lived, it was so surreal. He was going to scream or at least do something, but suddenly familiar voice filled the room and he frooze, it was Jimmy. No it wasn't it was…

"Dean."

"Cas?"

It was Castiel, his angel how could he forget him, how the fuck could that happen. Cas was everything now he's here. Dean got up and lent forward to kiss the angel something Cas has been longing for but Dean feel though.

"Dean I'm somehow projected myself into your mind, I can't touch you. I don't have long, I can feel the power fading."

"Cas…"

"Fight Dean, please fight it."

"Fight what?"

"This world everything, it's not real we need you back, I need you back."

"I'm coming back to you Cas I will, whatever you do, don't loose hope please."

Cas then flickered and disappeared leaving no trace of his presence. Dean looked around the room for some sort of sign for anything that what just happened was real. He had an awful feeling he was forgetting something or somewhere.

"Dean are you alright?"

As Dean turned to look at the doctor everything came rushing back to him

"Gabriel?" Dean mumbled to himself, but remembered his theory that Gabriel wasn't behind it and he really didn't fancy being strapped to that bed again so tried to act normal.

"Excuse me Dean?"

"Nothing, I'm fine doc, come on."

Dean started to walk towards the rec room, now eyeing up everyone he passed trying to asses them and decide whether it could be them. As Dean walked into the room he went straight to the back so he could sit down and keep an eye on everyone. Dean sat and tried to rememeber where he came from, the people he left places he went things he fought, if he could remember maybe he could return, but somthing seemed to be stopping him, the memory was there but it was foggy unclear and distorted Dean started mumbling with determination.

"Cas, Sam, Bobby, Cas, Sam, Bobby, come on Dean remember their faces. remember their voices. remember home."

Poor confused Dean =/ please review! XD xxxxxxxxxxxxx