Author's Note: Hello, my dearies! Good news: we've finally moved in to the new house and it's just been more or less the process of getting the internet and such transferred here. This chapter's not going to be as long as my previous ones, but I really want to update, hehe.
"I can see his pain, see it in the way he runs his fingers through his hair, over and over, and I understand what it costs him to hide it all."
― Libba Bray, A Great and Terrible Beauty
The moon had begun to wane, the nights growing darker. It seemed that with each night of increasing darkness, the darkness within the members of the camp grew.
The wolves of the camp- the male ones, had grown increasingly hostile towards Jiminy. Red had punished them- as the leader of the camp, de facto or not, consequences still had to be given. It disturbed her to order punishments and to give them- she was not a cruel person in the least. But she had to in order to keep order and protect Jiminy. He, above all, had her complete loyalty.
Jiminy had left, mumbling something about gathering wood, which Red knew to be a lie. She waited until the camp had settled down for the night before searching for him.
She found him in a stream, bare from the waist up. Red had never seen his body unclothed in the slightest, but had always wondered if he looked as lovely as she imagined. She was right, or her imagination was. Right at this moment, Red felt as if she was in the presence of an ethereal being, one not of this world.
She watched him for several moments before the metallic scent of blood assaulted her senses. She sniffed slowly and quietly, feeling her anger and wolf rise when she discovered it was coming from Jiminy.
She approached him in the stream, her eyes adjusting to the darkness.
"What happened?" she asked, kneeling at the edge of the stream.
"Brambles caught me while I was gathering wood," Jiminy said, not facing Red.
"You're lying."
Jiminy sighed and turned around slowly. Red gasped at what she saw.
Dozens of scratches littered his body, many of them still bleeding. Biting her lips, Red held back her tears and anger.
"Who did this to you?" she asked, ripping off cloth from her dress to help wash the wounds, flinching with him as he felt the cold water on his skin.
"It's of no importance," he whispered.
"Lying does not become you, love. Who hurt you?" she demanded, the tears she had been fighting finding release.
Jiminy kneeled down beside her and tilted her face towards his, sighing heavily.
"Who do you think?" he asked.
Red's eyes shifted suddenly to topaz, the wolf in her rising as her anger grew. Thoughts of vengeance tore through her mind and she wasn't sure if Jiminy could pull her out of this rage.
Red shuddered, rage and darkness rising in her. She wanted them to suffer for hurting her friend. For hurting her mate.
"Pace, iubi meu," she heard Jiminy whispering, piercing through the red fog of anger and rage. The anger had fallen, but Red was still shaking with it.
"This is a time when we can not afford to be impulsive, my love. With everything that is going on, we can not let impulsivity and impetuousness govern any decision we make," Jiminy said to her, wrapping his arms around her as he led her back to camp.
Red nodded, knowing the wisdom in his words, but also knowing there was only one way she could protect Jiminy.
Rumpelstiltskin paced in his lab, his fingers running through his hair in frustration. He was at war with himself- the darkest desires and his own pain within him. The damn woman had no idea what she was doing to him. He was the Dark One- he couldn't allow silly notions of romance or love in this Hell- this curse born of blood.
With no thought to what he was doing, his thoughts of rage and pain overtaking common sense, he picked up vials and beakers and began to throw them against the walls, shards of glass littering the floors and embedding themselves in the tables and chairs. Rumpelstiltskin turned the chairs and tables over, kicking them and pulverizing them to splinters- anything to get the rage and pain out.
He threw what remained of a chair behind him and walked down the stairs to Belle's chambers, darkness guiding him step by step.
He opened the door to her chambers, looking for her- searching for her as a beast hunts its prey.
He saw Belle in a chair, staring into the fireplace. Her knees were underneath her chin and she was hugging her legs, trying to make herself- so it seemed- as small and as invisible as possible.
She looked up at him, her eyes seeming distant, as if she were somewhere else- anywhere else but this moment.
Belle looked at him, sensing a very fragile hold Rumpelstiltskin had. Any moment, the thread tethering him to his sense could be broken- cast aside, allowing the Dark One to control him.
She'd seen him in so many ways it terrified her and excited her. But the way she was seeing him right now, right on the edge of the abyss saddened her more than anything. Naturally, she was afraid. She'd known what he was capable of and known he had an amazing amount of control and restraint, all things considered. But everyone had a breaking point. Every had a chance for complete surrender to the point of no return.
She cried silently as she watched him approach her, fearful of the unknown.
Suddenly, he stopped. Rumpelstiltskin began to breathe heavily and deeply, fighting for control over the consuming darkness building up. He started to pace the room, his hands running through his hair, grasping tufts of it and fighting will every single ounce of restrain he had. This was the first time in so long he had felt the darkness inside him rise to this point- years, to be honest. Whenever that deep darkness rose inside him, he became a monster; more of a beast than he was.
Belle rose and walked to him slowly, fearful and remorseful at the same time. He had stopped and was looking down at the floor, still breathing deeply, his hands fisted in his hair.
Belle reached out slowly and gently touched his hands, pulling them away from his head. She brought them to her chest and held them there, trying with her power to pull him out of the abyss. She loved him- she'd known this for quite some time now. She wanted him to be happy. To have his moment of peace- the price of magic be damned. Rumpelstiltskin looked up at her, sheer desperation in his eyes. Everything he felt was conflict- Love me. Fear me. Desire me. Forsake me.
He gave no thought to anything as she brought her lips to meet his, softly. The darkness began to recede as Belle deepened her kiss, pulling him more into the moment and away from the abyss. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, afraid that if he let go or didn't hold on tightly enough, she would vanish- a specter sent to torment him. This was far from the truth, the reality. He could feel the warmth of her skin, a blessing to be temporarily free of the coldness of his heart.
Belle could feel his desperation, feel his desire and loneliness. She promised herself that at this moment, she would do all she could to take away his loneliness and sorrow; just to let him know he was loved. That he was desired.
Jiminy and Red went to their separate tents, Red keeping a close eye on the other men who were still awake, watching with disgust as they cast cruel glances behind Jiminy's back.
"You three! There is much to be done in the morning. Retire. Now," she commanded. The men complied quickly, knowing her fury at times was formidable. Knowing they had no choice, as she was their leader. She waited until they had left before she gutted the fire, a few embers and smoldering pieces of wood left. Counting to herself, giving her time to prepare herself for what she was going to do, she looked around the tents until she was sure that everyone else was asleep. She then walked silently over to Jiminy's tent.
Jiminy was still awake, a candle lit in a cage set off to a corner of the tent. She had bound his wounds at the stream and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw no blood through the bandages, relief with not smelling the acrid blood.
"Jiminy," she whispered, walking over to him. He sat on a small stool, reading a book.
"Red. What are you doing here? It's late," he said, looking up at her in surprise.
Red took a deep breath, walking over to him and kneeling in front of him, gently putting the book down as she ran her hands up his arms, her fingers gently tracing scars from his past. She moved her hands to his shoulders hesitantly, praying to the gods that he wouldn't reject her or cast her out. He looked at her, still confused.
Red took his face in her hands and kissed him softly, her hands stroking his face and hair, trying to tell him to hold her.
As if he read her mind, he wrapped his arms around her, standing her up with him as he deepened the kiss, his hands tangling in her dark hair. Red gently moved her hands from his face, exploring his upper body. Jiminy moved his lips to her neck, smiling as he felt her shudder against him.
He broke away and placed his hands on her face, his face worried.
"What's gotten into you, Red?" he whispered, worried. He knew something was wrong- he could see it in her eyes-a mix of desperation and desire. It confused him.
"I need to do this," she said, moving to kiss him again.
"No," he said, holding her back firmly. Tears filled her eyes, tears from a rejection she'd never known possible.
"Not like this, Red. Not like this. Not in some misguided attempt to protect me. I'm not worth it," Jiminy said, wiping her tears away.
His last sentence broke something inside of her heart and she could feel it falling to the very bottom of her stomach.
"You're worth it to me," she whispered shakily before running out of the tent, running away from the pain she didn't want to feel.
Jiminy watched her run away, fighting every urge to run back after her and make her his.