AARON LIVESY
-The Chase-
"What Do You Think Of Me?"
Aaron walked into the living room the next morning to see his mum sat at the small table near the kitchen. He knew what was coming and let out a sigh. "Out with it then"
"Oh you're lucky I've waited this long, what the hell is going on with you? You're avoiding this place, me, you end up in hospital for reasons I have no clue about because you don't think about me for one second do ya?"
"It's not like that!"
"Well what is it like Aaron? Because it damn well is and you know it!"
"Every time I'm in here I just remember him coming into my room mum…I-it was horrible, he could have killed me!"
"I know that!"
"Well then understand that it's a bit hard to stay in there!"
"So…what you wanna go back to Paddy's?"
Aaron shrugged. "No, I-I dunno" he sighed. "And I didn't tell you about the hospital cause I'm old enough now"
"Old enough? Yeah sorry I forgot I'm supposed to stop loving you and caring about you at some point" she scowled. "That is never going to happen, so next time I want to know, you're my son for god sake!"
"Right!" he spat angrily. "Fine!"
"Don't get smart with me! And what happened to Flynn?"
"He's a dick! I got fed up; I'm not wasting my time with someone who clearly doesn't give a damn"
"Flynn is good for you and you've just let him walk away!"
Aaron scowled. "I'll do what the hell I want, he crossed a line, I'm done with him and I've found someone so much better"
"Oh yeah Cameron's younger brother"
"His name is Jason and what does it matter that he's his brother? I met him before I knew that and nothing's changed!"
Chas sighed. "And tomorrow or next week it'll be someone else"
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me!"
"Yeah I did! I'm not like that!"
"Well it sure looks like it from where I'm sat Aaron!"
"I don't care how it looks to you! I like Jason, he cares"
"Flynn would have!"
Aaron growled in frustration. "Shut up about Flynn! I'm over him, me and Jason could be happy"
"You'll have to tell him you know"
"What?"
"Well about Jackson for a start, the fact that there's a warrant out for your arrest!"
Aaron bowed his head. "I can deal with that"
"No…" she frowned. "There's something more, tell me!"
"He-He's a police officer alright…"
"AARON! HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID!" she raged and got to her feet.
"It was already too late before I knew what he did for a living"
"Oh my-…y-you've slept with him already?" she demanded to know.
Aaron nodded and shrugged his shoulders. "And?"
"And you're acting like a whore!"
Aaron narrowed his eyes at her. "Says the woman who's sleeping with my cousin's fiancé!" he screamed.
"Aaron sh-shut up!" she told him.
"No I won't, do you think for one second you can judge me cause you can't! Not when you're whoring it about with him!"
Chas stormed over to him and slapped him hard. It knocked his head back and he placed his hand over his tingling skin.
"I really like Jason and I will deal with things in my own time"
"See Aaron that's the thing with you, you don't deal with anything you hide it all away and expect it to disappear, w-what happens if he finds out? What does he do then? He's a police officer for god sake!"
"Yeah and if he cares he won't do anything about it"
"Well I hope for your sake he bloody doesn't! Do you know what I'd hate to see Jackson's face right now!"
Anger, an overwhelming anger ran within him, it began in just a split second. The expression on his face was a disgusted, angry, upset and hateful one. "Now I am going back to Paddy's!" he turned and walked to the staircase and ran up them, Chas followed.
Aaron frantically and angrily threw all of his stuff into his bag and the rest into a carrier bag, the necessary stuff anyway.
"A-Aaron please, I didn't mean that" Chas said as she stood in the doorway.
"Yes you did"
"No love I-"
"Do you have any idea how long it took me to decide to come back? For Hazel to make me see sense? That Jackson wanted me to be happy, and then I try to be and you say that!" he spat nastily. "You're a bitch do you know that? A first class fucking bitch and I hate you!" he said as tears filled his eyes. "I'd never put it about like you, ever! I like Jason I have feelings for him and thanks to Jackson in time I might just know what those feelings could be! And you just care about you, I'm not here enough, I don't talk to you, well now do you see why I don't, you do my head in, you should know that by now!" he'd packed and grabbed his bag. "At least with Paddy I know where I stand! At least he doesn't judge me!" he stormed toward her and she quickly moved out of his way, tears ran down her face, she was speechless, seconds later she heard the slam of the back door.
…
Cameron saw his brother leaving the pub and watched as he headed to the top of the village. He frowned, and memories of the fallout of leaving his wife and kids, the fight he had with Jason all came to the fore front of his mind; the fight wasn't necessary but Jason had it coming, pushing and pushing him simply because he was breaking up the family. He shook his head and ran up to him and he grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "What are you doing here Jason?"
Jason frowned at him. "I've lived in the area for a while Cameron, the only reason I'm in the village is for Aaron and I had no idea you were here until yesterday"
"So you're with Aaron then?"
"Yeah I am problem?"
Cameron smirked. "Be careful"
"And what's that meant to mean?"
Cameron shook his head with a smile as he walked off.
"Cameron! I asked you a question!"
"Oh I'm sure you'll find out!"
"Everything alright?" Aaron asked as he walked out of Smithy cottage and ran along to him on the road.
Jason sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He turned to face Aaron and smiled. "I went to find you but you're mum told me you weren't staying there anymore, she looked upset"
"Not as upset as I am"
"W-why what's happened?"
"Nothing, look I'm not up to tonight, so maybe you should just head off eh?"
Jason frowned. "Aaron…"
"No I'm not in the mood and I don't need a relationship where we see each other every day either, its better we straighten that out now"
"Or is it actually you putting some distance between us?"
Aaron frowned. "No…course not" he lied and Jason could tell but didn't let on.
"Right…whatever…"
"Ah Jason…" Aaron said with a sigh.
"Look! I like you, really, really like you…but for whatever reason you've gone cold…I-I dunno why…and you have a past, you're scared to tell me, fine but don't push me away I can be patient"
"I-I don't want to hurt you"
Jason frowned. "Why would you hurt me?"
Aaron sighed, he couldn't explain, how did he explain to him his past with Jackson and the fact there was a warrant out for his arrest that would more than likely cause him conflict between his job and him. He turned and walked back up the small hill to the cottage.
"Aaron!" Jason called out to him as he ran for him.
"J-just leave it…"
"I can't, not after what Cameron said"
"Cameron?" Aaron turned to him quickly, an angry look on his face. "What did he say?"
Jason sighed. "He told me to be careful when it came to you"
"Well…he's got a point"
"How? How has he got a point Aaron? Jesus you're making this so hard when it doesn't need to be! I care for you Aaron, please look whatever it is, I won't judge you I'm not like that"
Aaron sighed and shook his head and walked into Smithy and slammed the door quickly only to be greeted again by curious, questioning looks from Paddy. "Who was that?"
"Jason…" he explained.
"Your mum just phoned"
"Great" Aaron sighed.
"Seems both of you said more than you should have…"
"Yeah maybe"
"Go and apologise mate"
"No! She accused me of being something I'm not"
"Yes but the bottom line is she knows you're not like that, but I do agree with her on one thing…"
"Let me guess, Jason"
"Well no, just the complications it'll cause for you and him, he's a police officer mate…I'm not going to patronise you because you know how risky it is being with him"
Aaron nodded. "I do, and I so wanted to tell him everything, Jackson, Ed…the fire…me running off to France…b-but I couldn't…"
"And you've now pushed him away"
"Because he doesn't need to know what happened with Jackson and he doesn't need the conflict of what to do with me when he finds out about the warrant, I won't hurt him, I hurt Jackson, then I hurt Flynn by not coming back…Jason won't be the third…h-he's special Paddy…he's amazing and I really think we could have something but I can't lie to him throughout our entire relationship…"
"Sounds to me like you've already made your mind up"
Aaron shook his head. "He'll be long gone"
"Ah ok" he said as he was looking out of the window and could see Jason still well and truly there. "Well sit down I'll make you a brew, I spoke to Rhona by the way" he told him as he got up and Aaron sat down. "She's okay with you staying"
"Ah cool, cheers Paddy" he thanked him as Paddy walked to the front door and opened it. "Come in"
Aaron was horrified. "Paddy! What the he-" he stopped when Jason stepped inside.
"Thanks I'm Jason Aaron's boyfriend"
"Nice to meet you, I'm his dad…w-well not really"
Aaron sighed. "Yes you are, you know you are Paddy you're better than my real one" he told him.
Paddy smiled at Aaron then looked back at Jason. "Make yourself at home" Paddy offered. "I'll make myself scarce"
"Uhh Paddy?" talk about throwing him in at the deep end!
"Like I said, sounds like you've already made your mind up, you won't know unless you do…"
Now alone, Jason sat nervously down in the chair beside Aaron. "Well that seemed interesting"
Aaron nodded. "So, you don't judge?"
"No…"
"Right okay…if you want to leave me after you know the truth then I'll understand…"
Jason chuckled. "Just tell me whatever it is…I'm not going anywhere"
Aaron then began to explain how he was mentally when he met Jackson, and how Jackson helped him to accept being gay, then he spoke about the punch he gave him and why and how it took a long while before he and Jackson got back together properly, then he delved into the fateful night of the crash and how it left Jackson physically and emotionally, he spoke about how dead set against Jackson's choice he was, and had been for a long time until he finally gave in. Aaron's tears were constantly falling now. Then he began to tell Jason about the cup of poison and giving it to Jackson, but he told him repeatedly how it was his wish. "He was my first and I loved him with all my heart, I still do Jason and I miss him like crazy, there are still bad days mixed with good, he's never far from my thoughts…I did what I did to-"
"Hey…" he grabbed Aaron's hand and kissed it gently. "You don't have to repeat it all to me…I understand, you did it for him…I-I don't think I know anyone who is as brave as you've had to be"
"Brave? I'm not brave Jason, the scars on my body…I did those, I did them…with blades, for a time the pain made me feel better…but it wasn't fixing the massive void that Jackson left behind, it still isn't even now but it's better after the counsellor, he helped and I am fine now I'm just scared of getting too close in here" he tapped on his chest.
"I understand, but history won't repeat itself" Jason reassured him. "What you went through was traumatic, you didn't want to do it but at the same time you did because you loved Jackson"
Aaron nodded. "I just realised when it was too late, and I don't want to make the same mistake again and I definitely don't want to hurt you"
Jason shook his head. "You won't" he smiled at him. "What happened with your mum?"
Aaron blew out a breath. "She basically called me a whore and was nasty because I've let Flynn go, she said I could be happy with him but he's not who I want to be happy with, I thought I did but I was wrong, you're the one I want to be happy with. I-I think that's why Cameron said what he did, he knows how Jackson's accident happened…knows what I did at the end…"
"No, what he was doing was stirring it, trying to make me go away…scare me off, it hasn't worked though" Jason smiled. "I'm still here"
Aaron smiled sheepishly. "I'm pleased you are, I'm sorry for being horrible before…I-I can be pretty bad when I want to be"
"But the other sides to you, the parts I bet not many people have seen, they are so worth going through what I just had too, to be with you and experience it"
"You're so nice to me"
"You deserve it; you're my boyfriend Aaron…even now after telling me about the most difficult time of your life and what you went through, it made you who you are now and I love who you are, I love what I see and those scars well they have a story and you made it through…"
Aaron frowned faintly and then smiled. He just said… he thought to himself. "And now I have you"
"And I have you" Jason added. "And don't worry about your mum, you two will be fine"
Aaron nodded with a smile "I'll let it settle down today and I'll go see her tomorrow"
"Good idea, now what do you say to a night in at mine? Takeaway, a DVD…and if you're lucky I'll let you experience my amazing massaging abilities…"
"Oh aye?"
"Trust me…I'm pretty good"
"Well how can I say no to that?"
"You can't" Jason grinned. "And on top of it all you need to rest and relax, I heard Cain, he said he'd be fine at the garage for the rest of the week…you have plenty of time to spend with me…and I will look after you…I-I mean it…not just for tonight but for everyday we're together because you're worth looking after, you don't see what I see or what Jackson saw do you?"
Aaron hung his head and shook it. "Well then you need to open your eyes to yourself a little more" Jason told him with a smile then he reached out and lifted Aaron's head up. "Come here" he told him and Aaron slowly leaned into him and felt his arms wrap around him, he hugged him back tightly.
Aaron was scared, he still hadn't told him about the arrest warrant, it was the only thing he hadn't mentioned, oh and Ed aswell but Ed was gone and he was fine now there was no need. He was scared and it all came down to him being police, now he had Jason he didn't want to have to let him go, not now and certainly not ever.
TBC…