Here we are again!

Disclaimer: SM owns it, not me.

Chapter 18

Monday, June 25, 2012

EPOV

"Edward, listen to me. If you really want to go home then we will catch the next flight to Houston, but I think you are just scared to face your past. I think you will regret not doing this if we go back home. You may not regret it immediately but eventually you will. You have helped me with my trip home now let me help you through your trip. I will be by your side every single step of the way. I will not leave your side until you tell me to. Now, do you want to go home or deal with Chicago?"

"Deal with it I guess. You drive a hard bargain woman." I grumbled to her.

She just chuckled and ran her fingertips through my hair, effectively calming me down. "Do you want to stay in a hotel tonight or go on to the house?"

"If we're going to do this, then I might as well do it all the way. If I survive tonight then I think I can conquer anything." I told her as everybody started standing and grabbing their bags from the overhead compartments.

"You are the strongest man I know, Edward, you can do this. I'm not going to lie, it's hard, excruciatingly hard, but we can get through this together." Bella told me when I held a hand out to her.

"Thank you, love, that means a lot to me." I told her as I grabbed her hand and we headed off of the plane.

We finally found our bags and went out front and headed towards the airport taxi.

"May I help you sir?" a young man asked as we approached the counter.

"Yes sir, a friend of mine left a car here of mine and said they were leaving the keys here for us." I told the young man.

"Name please?"

"Cullen."

"Here are your keys, sir. Would you and your sister like a ride to your car?

"She's my wife and yes we would like a ride. Thank you."

We loaded into the golf cart and made our way to the short term parking area. I beeped the keys on the car to locate it.

"Here you are sir." The guy said right inside the gate and about 500 feet from our car.

"I will give you an extra twenty bucks if you take us right to the car." I told him as Bella leaned against my shoulder almost asleep.

He shook his head and didn't move. "Fifty?" I asked him.

He immediately pulled over to the trunk of our car and helped me haul the bags off the golf cart. I slapped the fifty in his hand and he left us standing beside my father's dark blue Aston Martin. "Is this the car we're using?" Bella asked as she muffled a yawn.

"Yeah, baby, it is. This was my father's pride and joy and one splurge that my mom allowed." I told her as I popped the trunk and started loading our bags into it.

"Have you ever driven it before?"

I shook my head. "No, he had always told me that once I turned eighteen I could drive it but not a day before. We never made it to that day unfortunately." I told her as I slammed the trunk shut and guided her to the passenger side of the car.

"Are you going to be okay driving it now?" She asked as she blinked up at me.

I nodded. "Yeah." I told her tersely, kissed her on the head and helped her into the car.

I walked around the car and had to pause as my nerves got the better of me again. My hands were shaking and I couldn't catch my breath. I hadn't had a panic attack in years before today and now I've had two in a matter of hours. I bent over putting my hands on my knees and took deep calming breaths before looking through the tinted windows at my wife's smiling sleepy face.

I took another deep breath before opening the door and sliding into the leather seat. "Have you always suffered from anxiety attacks, Edward?"

I shook my head. "I had my first one the day I came back from championships and realized that my parents didn't just miss the game, but they were actually gone. Forever. I used to take anxiety medication but they made me antsy so I stopped taking them. The attacks stopped once I moved away from here, unless I really thought about my parents and missing them." I explained to her as I started the car up, smiling as I listened to it purr.

"Do you think you are going to have to take medication again, just to deal with all of this?"

I shook my head again. "Nope, I have the best form of medication sitting right here in the car beside me. You are all I need, love, you and our boys. Speaking of our boys, have you thought of any names for them yet?" I asked her trying to distract myself as I backed out of the parking space and made the familiar trek home.

"I like the idea of naming each of them after our fathers, but I want them to have unique original names also. I like Jayden and I think it goes well with Carlisle. What do you think?" She asked, playing along with distracting me.

"Jayden Carlisle Cullen. That does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I like it." I agreed. One down, one to go. "What about Ryder Charles Cullen for the other one? I think that goes together pretty well, don't you?" I asked as we neared my old stomping grounds.

She nodded. "I like them both. So I guess it's decided. Jayden Carlisle and Ryder Charles will be our boys' names. Are we going to tell everybody or wait until they are born?" She asked quietly.

"I say we wait until they are born." I told her quietly as I pulled the car to a stop right outside our community gates.

"Okay. What's wrong, barman?"

"This is it. The entrance to our community. I helped my mom and the other ladies from the community plant those flowers because I had gotten a bad grade on my chemistry exam." I explained to her as I sat there gazing at what I had taken for granted as a child.

"Seems like we both had to do a little community work for punishment; your mom sounds like an extraordinary woman, Edward."

I nodded and headed through the brick columns that marked the entrance. I swallowed hard trying to keep my emotions under control as we got closer to the house that I had grown up in.

****Link to house at bottom of chapter****

"We have a library in here that you will love to spend your days in, love. It has more books than you'll be able to read in the month that we are here." I told her as I pulled into the driveway and came to a stop in front of the two story home.

"This is where you grew up?" She asked in quiet astonishment.

The house was lit up, inside and out, like a Christmas tree. I nodded and could feel the tears begging to pour out. I'm glad the guys weren't here to see this as they would call me a pussy for sure. "Yeah, my dad bought this house when he first started practicing medicine and we never left. The backyard is amazing, it even has a pond back there and plenty of room for the kids to run around and play." I explained as I turned the car off but didn't move.

"Tell me a memory."

I took a deep breath. "I remember all the days spent out in the yard tossing a ball back and forth with my dad. I remember my mom on her hands and knees tending to those flower beds of hers. God, Bella, there are so many memories here, it's unreal." I told her in a shaky voice.

She nodded. "I know, babe, but it helps to talk about it, to remember." She said as she opened the door and slid out of the car.

I groaned again because I knew she was right. I opened my door and slid out as I gazed at my old home and my beautiful wife rubbing a hand soothingly over our sons.

I popped the button for the trunk and began grabbing our bags as Bella stared at the house that I had grown up in. "It's huge compared to what I grew up in." She said in awe.

I just chuckled. "This was the first thing my father bought for my mom after they were married." I told her as I handed her, her rolling suitcase and I grabbed the other two and started up the sidewalk. "Come on; let's get this over with so we can get you and our boys in bed." I told her as I headed up the brick sidewalk.

"I thought you said Mr. Joe and Mrs. Emily were your neighbors. I don't see any houses nearby."

I stopped short of the door and paused looking at her over my shoulder. "They live through the woods back there." I told her and pointed to the trees behind our driveway. "There is a trail that leads through the trees to their house. I will take you to meet them tomorrow to thank them for everything." I told her quietly as I inserted the key into the door.

I couldn't open it. It was too much. I didn't know how to walk in here without my parents. I just didn't know how to do it. "You okay, Edward? Take deep breaths, babe, deep breaths. I'm right here." She repeated over and over until my breathing calmed down and I nodded at her.

I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I racked my brain trying to remember the details of when I was last in the house but for the life of me I couldn't remember. I knew that the kitchen and living room would be different because of a storm that had hit the Chicago area a few years ago and had knocked a tree through the windows causing a shitload of damage. "The house looks great. The workers did a great job, they had sent me pictures but I had refused to even look at them." I commented quietly as I surveyed the room.

"What happened?" Bella asked as she walked around the open floor plan of the downstairs. The living room, dining room, and parts of the kitchen were visible from the front door.

"A bad storm a few years ago busted several of the windows out when a tree fell over outside and caused water damage to most of the downstairs. This is all new and looks amazing. My mom would have been proud." I told her as I walked into the kitchen and looked at all the modern touches.

"Wow! Was anything else harmed?" Bella asked as she followed me into the kitchen.

I shook my head and ran my hand over the beautiful countertops that blended nicely with the green on the walls. "Nope, luckily the damage was contained to the main living areas. There used to be a wall right here." I told her gesturing to the space between the living room and dining room.

She wrinkled her nose. "I kind of like it open. Show me around?" She asked wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Want to see my old room first? I don't even remember how I left it." I told her as I guided her up the stairs

She just laughed as we headed up the stairs at a slow pace as she looked at all the family photos that lined the wall. There had to be over a hundred pictures lining the wall and encompassed my parents' entire life together as well as mine up until I was seventeen. "Your mom documented every moment, didn't she?"

I groaned when I saw what picture she was looking at. It was of me sitting on the commode with my pants hanging around my shoes, no shirt, and hair sticking up in every direction. I had to be two maybe three and was the first time I used the big toilet. "Yeah, I don't think she ever missed a moment, except maybe my first kiss and my first time and that's only because I didn't do it anywhere near her." I told her as I gazed at all the pictures.

"Oh my God, I can't believe she put that photo up here. I had to have walked by this wall a thousand times and I have never seen this." I told Bella as I pointed to a photo of my naked ass as I pissed into the pond out back with my red cowboy hat on and my jeans once again around my ankles.

"Wow! I can't wait until Emmett and Rose see all of these." Bella laughed as she looked closely at each photo.

"Oh no! These things are coming down before they get here." I told her quickly.

She just laughed. "Your mom was really beautiful, but you look like your dad with your mom's hair."

I smiled as I looked at a photo that I remember taking and it was only a few weeks before that tragic weekend. "This is them shortly before they died." I told her and pointed out the photo of the three of us.

"You all look so happy. I could spend all day looking at these photos but I am exhausted." She commented and I grabbed her hand and tugged her on upstairs.

"Mom and Dad lived on the main floor because of his erratic schedule and to make sure I never snuck out. The rooms up here are my bedroom, the guest room, and the library. Dad's office is on the landing at the top of the stairs. Mom refused to give him a room of his own for his office because she was afraid she would never see him then." I told her as I hit said landing and was swamped with the memories.

It knocked me to my knees and knocked the breath out of me. "Edward! Breathe, dammit, breathe!"

I fought with my body's reaction and focused on Bella's voice and soothing touch. "Come back to me, Edward, its okay, baby, I promise. Everything is going to be okay but we need you. Jayden, Ryder, and I all need you."

I nodded and took deep calming breaths as I attempted to get to my feet. "Tell me a memory."

I groaned in agony but obliged. I leaned up against the railing and tugged her into my side. "I remember when I was sixteen and had just started my junior year of high school. It was time for the first test in anatomy and physiology and I was freaking out about it until my dad brought me up and sat me down on that sofa." I pointed to the loveseat tucked into the corner.

"What did he do to calm you down?"

I just laughed as I remembered exactly what he had done. "I had been studying for the test all weekend and he knew that. He took my book and my notes and questioned me through the whole section. Once I had gotten them all right, twice, he took my book, notes, recordings, and stuff and hid them from me. He made me get out of the house and out of my head for the rest of the week. I got a 100 on the test. He used to have it framed on his desk." I told her softly.

She just laughed. "He sounds like a fantastic father. Our boys are lucky to have you as a daddy, Edward. You are going to be amazing just like your dad was."

I smiled and kissed her gently on the head. "Come on, love, let's get you in bed."

BPOV

Edward's parent's home, well I guess our home now, was absolutely amazing. I had expected outdated furnishings when I had walked through the door but had been blown away by the modern décor and furnishings. I was confused because Edward had said that nobody had touched it since his parents had died but that was all explained when he told me about the storm damage.

I was worried about him and his anxiety attacks but he seemed to recover from them fairly quickly. The pictures on the staircase walls were amazing as they allowed me a glimpse into his childhood antics. Edward guided me silently down the hall and directly into the past.

On the walls of his bedroom were pictures of Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson, both half naked. "Really, Edward? I figured you would be more mature than other teenage boys." I told him as I walked around his room.

"Hey, I had to have something to fantasize about. I equaled it out with manly stuff." He said as he pointed out the baseball posters and trophies.

I nodded and sat down on the side of the bed, it was fairly comfortable for not being slept on in over nine years. "You did, barman, you did. This room is very mature and grown up for a teenage boy, you know?" I told him as I scooted back on the full size bed to lie down and rest my back.

He nodded. "My mom and I had just redecorated right before I started my senior year. She said I needed a more mature room since I was heading into manhood soon." Edward told me as he kicked off his shoes and sat down on the bed beside me.

I smiled at him and opened my arms to him. He came willingly and curled into my side resting his head on my swollen boobs kissing my stomach. "I love you for doing this with me." He told me quietly.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else. Are you going to go turn all the lights off so we can go to bed or are you going to explore some more?" I asked him sleepily.

"I think I've seen enough for tonight; we will finish exploring tomorrow. I'll go turn the lights off really quick and grab our suitcases and then I will be right back, okay?"

I nodded and released him from my grasp.

I curled around one of the pillows on his bed and closed my eyes to wait for him.

When I woke up, alone, the sun was shining through the window bright and strong, a vast difference from Forks' mornings. I stretched my arm out and encountered nothing but cold sheets but I was under the blankets of Edward's childhood bed and he was nowhere within reach. I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I glanced around. I smiled as I saw his childhood bedroom; he must have been a very passionate teenager, because there were a ton of trophies lining various shelves in his room.

"Edward?" I called out in case he was within hearing range.

When I stood up from the bed I realized that I was dressed in my pj's of Edward's t-shirt and my panties. I opened the first door I came to and groaned when I saw that it was a closet, so I shut it and went to the door next to it hoping it was a bathroom.

I nearly jumped in joy when it was indeed an en suite bathroom. I emptied my bladder and dug through the suitcase that I found at the foot of the bed for some clothes and my toiletries so I could take a quick shower. Once I was finished, I headed off in search of my husband and found him curled up in a huge bed in what must have been his parents' room.

I quietly raked the hair off his forehead as I looked at his sleep relaxed features. He had dried tear tracks staining his cheeks and his eyes were slightly swollen from the obvious crying. I quietly tiptoed back out of the room, leaving the door open, and made my way to the kitchen.

I rummaged around in the fridge and cabinets and came up with the ingredients to make an awesome omelet. I was just about to pour the egg mixture into the hot skillet when a knock on the door interrupted me. I sat the bowl down and scooted the skillet to the side so I could go answer the door before it woke Edward up.

I peeked through the glass and saw an elderly woman standing there holding onto a leash of some sort. It must be Mrs. Emily from across the woods. I opened the door. "Mrs. Emily?" I asked her quietly.

She nodded. "You must be Isabella. It is so nice to see you. Is my dear boy here?" She asked softly.

I smiled and opened the door wider as she and a huge black lab came into the house. "He is but he's sleeping in his parent's bed at the moment. He has had a hard time since we got here. Who's this?" I asked her as I knelt down and petted the dog as it licked my chin causing me to laugh.

"Sam. I figured she would be a friendly reminder. She was Edward's dog but he couldn't keep her in the hotel when he moved so we kept her and he never came back for her." She said as she unclipped the leash from the dog's collar.

"Oh, I didn't know Edward had a dog." I told her as I stood back up. "Would you like some breakfast? I was just about to cook when you knocked." I told her as I headed back towards the kitchen.

She nodded and patted the dog on top of the head. "That sounds wonderful, Isabella. Sammy, go find Edward girl. Sniff him out." She told the dog quietly.

I just looked at her funny. "She comes with me when I come to clean the house and usually ends up on Edward's bed. That is why the blankets and sheets were clean; I had to wash her scent off of them yesterday. She'll find him. Even after nine years she still whines for him when she can't find him." She explained and the dog immediately headed up the stairs.

"It's Bella please, and I'm sure he will be delighted to see her again." I told her as I put the skillet back on the burner.

"Edward mentioned that you guys were expecting but I didn't realize that you were due so soon. When is the baby due?" Mrs. Emily asked as she sat down on one the barstools.

I just laughed. "I get that a lot Mrs. Emily but I'm only-"

"None of that Mrs. stuff, Bella. Emily will suffice just fine." She interrupted me quickly.

I just laughed. "Okay, Emily. They're not due until November." I told her as I poured the eggs into the skillet to cook.

"Wow! Twins! Edward must be ecstatic."

I just laughed. "I think it was a shock to both of us but we are both overjoyed with them." I told her as I began adding everything else to the eggs. "Thank you by the way for cleaning the house and buying a few groceries."

She just waved me on as Sammy came back downstairs with her nose to the ground causing us to laugh. "She must have picked up his scent." Emily said.

I nodded and flipped that omelet onto a plate and poured some more egg mixture into the skillet when Edward's squeal caught me off guard. "Sammy! What are you doing here, girl?"

I just shook my head and finished making breakfast. "Told you she would sniff him out; they were inseparable up until the day he left her with us. I thought she would mourn herself to death, but I guess coming over here appeases her some."

I nodded and smiled when I saw Edward walking into the room with the dog right on his heels. "Emily?" He stopped dead in his tracks as he spotted the elderly woman that reminded me of Mrs. Doubt fire.

She nodded with tears in her eyes. She stood up and held her arms out to him. He couldn't control the tears that spilled down his cheeks as he practically sprinted into her arms.

I turned away with tears in my eyes and finished our breakfast while they reunited in silent but powerful words.

By the time I had our plates and glasses of orange juice at the modern style dining room table they had released each other and were smiling at each other.

"I take it you've met my Bella?" He asked as he guided Emily to the table.

She nodded. "She's a lovely young woman, my boy. It's so good to have you back home." She said as she cupped his cheek in her hand.

He smiled and nodded. "It's good to be back home, Emily. Sam, come here girl." Edward said as he walked to the French doors and opened them to let her outside while we ate.

The dog whined when Edward went to shut the door and he looked at me with a guilty look and knelt down in front of the dog. "Sammy, you know the rules my love. I'll leave the door cracked but you have to stay outside until I call you, okay?"

The dog laid down with her head resting on her front paws. I chuckled and sat down beside Emily. "I never knew he was such an animal person. He doesn't have any animals back home." I told her as I took a drink of my juice.

"That's because Sammy holds a special place in my heart. I hope I can take her back home with us, if she does well with the girls?" He posed it as a question towards Emily.

She just smiled at him and nodded. "She's your dog, Edward, always has been."

He then looked to me guiltily. "Love?" He asked as he sat down across from me.

I just laughed and nodded before digging into my breakfast.

After breakfast, Emily excused herself back to her house, leaving Sammy, who had come back in once Edward had called for her and even shut the door behind her. I was beginning to like this dog more and more.

EPOV

Last night as I was turning off the lights of the house I was inexplicably drawn to my parents' room so after I took the luggage upstairs, got Bella into one of my shirts and tucked under the blankets, I went back downstairs and opened the door to my parents' sanctuary.

It was just like it was the day that we all left to head to the school so I could board bus to head to the championships right down to mom's robe laying across the bed. I knew from my neighbors that Emily kept everything covered in sheets to keep down the dust and came in once a month to sweep the floors and crack the windows a little bit to let in some fresh air.

My dad's lab coat still hung in the closet next to his suits that he wore into work. My mom had a folder of things she wanted to try with the house laid open on her nightstand. My dad's daily planner laid open on his nightstand with the day circled several times over in red pen. There were a variety of pictures on each of their nightstands but there was one that they both had. It was a family picture of the three of us that we had taken at Christmas. They each had a picture of me that they cherished separately as well as a picture of their last anniversary.

I felt myself starting to hyperventilate, so I went and sat down on their bed and burst into tears when reality hit me. My parents' were gone and not coming back. The last time I had been in this house, they were here and wishing me luck on the last games of my high school career. I remember walking Sammy through the woods to Emily and Joe's house for safe keeping while we were out of town but I couldn't bear to come back for her. She was too much of a reminder.

Joe had made sure I was taken care of while I holed myself up in that hotel. Emily made sure that I got my school work done and turned in and was eating properly. I instantly regretted not coming back here sooner and was grateful that Bella had given me that ultimatum on the plane.

I curled up on my mom's side of the bed and wept myself to sleep. The next thing I knew something cold and wet was licking up the side of my face. I slapped it away but it kept coming back and was way furrier than I remembered Bella being.

I snapped my eyes open and came face to face with another set of big chocolate brown eyes that held a special place in my heart. "Sammy!"

Leave me a review! Please!

Here is the promised link for the inspiration of the Cullen home: trulia (.com)/

property/1089823699-1113-Woodcrest-Dr-Downers-Grove-IL-60516#photo-1