hope you enjoy one of the last chapters of this story :( lol :D

Dean opened his eyes he saw his Cas, he was home, he was maybe home.

"Dean." Cas breathed as he saw the hunter stirring. "Sam, Bobby!"

Cas shouted for the others. His words shot straight through and pierced Dean's head, that hangover feeling was not gone, it seems to have come back 10 fold. Cas flung his arms around the hunter and they shared a rare intimate moment in their other wise chaotic lives. Cas stood and helped Dean tryto stand, he managed to stand for a few moments before his legs collapsed under him Cas grabbed him and took the wobbly hunter over to the couch where he was to rest and regain some strength.

Sam and Bobby soon came running in, after the usual greeting and hugs and Sam hiding those tears of happiness this time even Bobby had to go back into the library sooner than he wanted in order to hide such 'weak' emotions.

"Cas?"

"Yeah Dean?"

"I really need food, I honest to god have no idea when I last ate."

"Of course Dean, what do you want?"

"Anything and everything." Dean joked, but not really. As he started to make his way on shaky legs to the kitchen, Sam was in there already sitting at the table staring at the brother hardly believing it. "you could do with some food as well Sammy."

The brothers sat down with an all day breakfast, which Dean insisted on making, he was finally free to do what he pleased, the hunter set the table for four and gathered everyone for food. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Bobby spoke

"Sam found something in the Impala. Looks like a hex bag." Dean stopped eating at this information and carried on listening. "That and a parchment I think I can reverse it Dean."

"I see." Dean spoke in a very neutral manner as he took the parchment of Bobby and studied it.

"Isn't it great Dean, we will have you back" Sam urged his brother with a huge smile, Dean on the other hand seemed to be lost in thought. His fake mothers words rattled in his mind 'You will need to make the choice very soon, it will present it self in which ever reality you happen to be in. You will know when it comes. you have to be ready to make the choice Dean' was this it.

"I thought I would have more time." He stated before getting up and walking out of the room into the living room, leaving the parchment on the table and the three of them completely lost for words at what just happened.

There was no question who was going to go after him. Dean stood facing the window after putting his hands in his pockets he found a tube of sleeping pills, the pills he had in the hospital how they ended up in his pocket and how he manage to take them across realities was beyond him, but as he looked at these pills he knew what he had to do. after putting them back in his pocket a book on the living room floor caught his attention Dean laughed slightly and picked it up and stood with a copy of wuthering heights in his hands and his smiled was firmly placed on his face as he asked.

"Did you read me this?"

"yes." Cas answered as he stood right behind him.

"Thank you." Cas smiled and nodded as he placed a gentle hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean closed his eyes at the contact and put his hand on Cas'. After a few moments Dean turned to face the angel, he cupped his cheeks and spoke.

"Oh Cas, my dear Castiel. You have given so much. I cannot begin to thank you. I owe you everything, my life, my soul, my freedom, my ability to love." Dean spoke softly and slowly placed a feather light kiss of Cas forehead "All this you have given so freely, how can I ever thank you?"

"Just. Just stay with me Dean."

"Always." Dean told him through a sweet smile that stretch across his face.

He and Cas spent four hours laying on the sofa in each others arms watch crappy show after even crappier show, not that they cared when they had each other.

"Boys." Bobby wheeled into the room and said loud enough for Sam to hear and appear from the kitchen, "You'd better put your hunters hats on, we have trouble." Then just like that Bobby wheeled back into the study.

"Is that all he is going to tell us?" Cas asked Dean snorted he couldn't help it.

"Yeah it sucks when people don't elaborate isn't it?" Dean joked as he led the way to the study followed by Sam and Cas shortly after.

"Bobby what are you talking about?"

"Demons Dean, many of them."

"How many is, many?"

"At least 30."

"Why?"

"The same reason those demons tried to snatch Dean from under our noses they think were weak. We're, well you boys are their biggest threat, to demons you strike whilst we're wounded."

"How do you know all of this?" Sam asked looking doubtful.

"I've been tracking demonic actively around here for weeks, after I got a tip of from an old friend who ran into a demon with a loose tongue, I consulted the tarots and the psychics and there marching here now."

"Bobby we have to undo Dean's spell before they get here."

"agreed, Dean take this."

"why?"

"Because you have to salt and burn it to destroy it. That and slice your hand open."

Dean rolled his eyes and took the parchment and knife as he held the knife to his hand, he froze as Mary's words were ringing through his mind again. 'You will need to make the choice very soon, it will present it self in which ever reality you happen to be in. You will know when it comes. you have to be ready to make the choice Dean' he couldn't do this, not when he only came here to say good bye.

"Dean?" Cas asked. "Bobby, Sam if you two start to prepare for the attack I'll deal with Dean." The hunters nodded they both resented Cas taking charge over Dean but they both knew that if anyone was to get through to him it was be him. Cas took the knife of the still frozen Dean and led him into the living room.

"Dean?" Dean shot up at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You froze up in there."

"Yeah."

"You sure, so your going to undo this spell and help save the day?"

"no."

"what!"

"I have to choose a reality in order to stop it, I cant choose this one. I cant, I want the other one. I'm sorry." Tears filled Cas' eyes and after he slammed his fist into Dean's face eyes were filling Dean's as well.

"What the fuck Dean! You're willing to leave us and all you have to say is that you're sorry! I told you to stay with me and you said 'always', always! How is this always you basted!"

"I'm sorry Cas I am but…" Cas held Dean by the collar of his clothes and shook him rather violently as he painfully screamed through his tears in his 'could-have-been lovers face.

"What makes you dream more real, more believable huh?"

"You do. You're happy there Cas, you laugh and it's wonderful and you smile and it's beautiful. Cas I can reach out and touch you there and really be with you." Cas was shaking he was so distort at the convocation he shouldn't be having.

"You, you can touch me here." Cas told Dean as he placed Deans hand to his face, Dean was trembling tears escaping he shut eyes "This is real, right here, right now." Dean shock his head and removed his hand.

"this, us, might feel real, this world feels real. But it's insane I'm insane, ghosts, werewolves, witches, vampires, demons and angels. I mean come on it's crazy. And I cannot do it anymore, I can't live here anymore baby, I can't die again, I cant have these memories of hell, I cant watch Sammy die or get hurt all the damn time. I can't live like this. Not when there's a possibility I can feel free, happy and normal." Cas was in unashamed tears holding onto Dean's face holding his forehead against his own.

"you can't mean this." Dean nodded as their faces touched and tears mixed.

"I could have a normal life." Dean cupped Cas' cheeks and made him stand still and look at him. Dean tried to steady his voice as he continued, he had to make Cas understand "I could have a lawn to mow, a bed to make, a garden to weed. Cas I could have a kitchen where I stand and drink coffee in the morning before I go to work. I Dean fucking Winchester could have a job an honest to god job. I go there and I have a life. A life I could share with you, with Jimmy. I would be free to be happy, free to be in love. I can tell you this because I know now that you're just a shadow. A shadow of him in my mind. I'm doing this for you." Castiel's tears were still streaming out of his red blood shoot eyes, at the sound of this he grabbed Dean and crushed his lips against his own and they shared a passionate, tender and desperate kiss. Both their lips moved together as did there tongue and hands as they groped and pulled each other closer. Cas parted and looked into Dean's eyes.

"Did that feel like a shadow Dean? Was that fake, unreal? Don't do this Dean, Jimmy is not real, he's not. I am look into your heart and I'll be waiting."

"You'll be waiting forever, I've made my mind up." Dean took out the pills.

"You're worth more to me than time Dean." He paused and hesitated his actions, he remembered everything they have been through together all Cas has been through for him.

"Cas. I love you but there Jimmy says it back. He would shout it to heaven and would give it all up to be with me." Just as Cas opened his mouth to speak back, Dean swallowed a handful of sleeping pills and Cas' last words to Dean ended up as a scream,

"NO!" Cas fell to his knees as Dean's body fell to the ground and the remaining pills scattered over the floor after collecting them Cas stared at the handful of colour pills that took Dean away he couldn't help but wonder if they would allow him to follow him. Suddenly Bobby called from the study.

"Will you two stopped messing around and get your asses in here those son of bitch's are nearly here."

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