AN: Just the epilouge to go after this one and this chapter is dedicated to Livhanna over on Youtube, the only reason I am watching season 3 at all.

Helen was worried about John, first Ashley and then Will had brought their concerns to her. Having no one else to turn to she sought out Jack. The Torchwood team were taking a day's R&R, the girls had gone shopping and dragged Ianto along as a pack-mule. Owen was buried somewhere in the library, as he didn't need to eat or sleep he had been in there since he'd helped Helen study John's scans and he showed no signs of leaving anytime before someone dragged him out so they could go back to Cardiff.

Helen found Jack sitting under a tree out in the grounds. "Do you mind if I join you?" She asked.

Jack patted the ground beside him, "Not at all." Helen sank to the grass beside him, folding her legs in a proper ladylike fashion. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm worried about John." Helen admitted. "Both Ashley and Will came to see me, they said he's got some serious guilt issues and that he's worried about finding a place in the modern world."

Jack suppressed a laugh at that last part, unless he was very much mistaken the only place John wanted to make a place for himself was Helen's bed. But he decided that he'd better keep his mouth shut. Besides guilt was a subject he knew all to well. "He'll be fine Helen." Jack assured her. "He has to be to have survived so many years of holding that parasite at bay. If he was mentally strong enough for that then I have no doubt that he'll be strong enough to live with the guilt." Jack put his arm around Helen's shoulders and pulled her so she was resting against his chest

"How do you feel about him?" He asked her.

"I don't know."

"Liar." Jack told her. "The truth Helen."

Helen sighed, she should have known better than to even try and lie to Jack, he'd known her too long. "What if I say that I don't know if I dare to feel for him again."

"That's more like it." Jack said, "You don't know if you can dare to love him?" He felt rather than saw Helen nod. "I decided that I couldn't fall in love again." John admitted, "It hurt too much when they left or died, then I met Ianto. It started off as just physical and then became more. You know I was away for a few months?"

"Yes, you never did say where you were."

Jack closed his eyes as memories of The Year That Never Was flashed through his mind. In addition to the deaths of his entire team, the Master had found out about the Sanctuary Network and destroyed them all. James Watson had committed suicide rather than allow the Master to capture him. Helen had been captured and tortured to death in front of him. The only mercy that Jack could see was that he never knew Ashley's fate in that alternate timeline.

Forcing the memories away Jack said, "It doesn't matter, what matters is that it was hell and while I was there I realised that love is what made life worthwhile. That's what made me decide to give this thing between me and Ianto a chance. And I haven't regretted it."

"Are you telling me to love him?" Helen asked, pulling away from Jack so that she could look at him.

"No," Jack said, "I wouldn't even think about telling the great Helen Magnus what to do." He added with a laugh. "I am merely suggesting that you give him a chance, that you give yourself a chance. Don't try to stop yourself from loving him because you're scared of the past, I did that and all you're left with is regrets."

"Thanks Jack." Helen said with a soft smile, "Do you really think that John will be alright?"

"Of course he will." Jack reassured her. "With you and Ashley as incentives any man would have an awful lot to encourage him to be alright. You should go talk to him." He urged her, "He's probably got as many worries as you do."

"I think I will Jack." Helen agreed. "But I am curious about what you're doing out here all by yourself."

"Do you know how rarely I get to just sit and relax under a tree?"

Helen smiled as Jack leant back against the trunk of the tree and closed his eyes with an exaggerated sigh of contentment. "I would guess the answer is not often if ever. I'll leave you to your peace." Helen said as she rose to her feet and walked back inside.

Jack had given her a lot to think about. She was grateful for his reassurance and his belief that John would be alright and would be able to deal with the guilt for his acts while he was a host to the parasite. The other things he'd said, about the regret, also gave her pause for thought. If there was one thing she'd been reminded of all too often over the past year it was that human and abnormal alike they were all still mortal, and their line of work was risky. Even if John didn't choose to stay with the Sanctuary there were still plenty out there who remembered what he had been and knew who he was related to. If he were to die tomorrow would she be able to live with the guilt of knowing that she had never given them a chance?

Jack had obviously decided that he couldn't and that time with Ianto was worth the pain that would come when he lost him. And for Jack that loss was certain, he couldn't die and so would loose everyone in the end, and in Torchwood the end came sooner rather than later. Ianto had already cheated death once, Helen hadn't known that anyone had made it out of Canary Wharf alive, how many more times would he be able to? How long until Jack lost another lover?

For herself though, Helen knew that, if he died tomorrow, she would not be able to live with the knowledge that she hadn't given her and John another chance. But at the same time she couldn't just jump back into bed with him, as her daughter would have to eloquently put it. Unsure of what to do next Helen went in search of John.

When she didn't find him quickly she stopped off him Henry's workspace, which for once was not inhabited by the resident werewolf, and checked the security cameras.

That was how she found him. He was in the SHU, standing outside the cell that housed the parasite. He was still there when she joined him. He didn't turn or acknowledge her but simply said, "It seems so strange that such evil can be contained in so small a device."

Helen looked through the viewing window. It wasn't that small a device, it took up a third of the floor space in the room, but she supposed that to John it no doubt seemed small. He'd never been a big fan of technology, likely a result of his dislike of and rivalry with Tesla who had been as obsessed with the then modern technology when they were at Oxford as he now was with resurrecting the vampires.

Then again to John the parasite was a demon sent from hell to torment and destroy him, Helen supposed that if she felt as he did then any container would seem small to something like that. "It is contained that is the important thing. How are you doing John?"

"Better than I have been in a very long time." John told her, "My mind is so clear, so calm that the feeling is almost alien to me." He looked away from the containment unit and towards Helen. "I came to see for myself that it was contained, though I do not understand the mechanics behind how it is so, but I am happy that it is. I stayed to think."

"What about?"

"The future, my place in it." He said, he reached out to stroke her cheek. "Us." He allowed his hand to cup her face gently and Helen resisted the urge to shiver at his touch. It had been so long since he had touched her with such tender love and devotion. A life time or more. "Is there any hope for us?" He asked her softly.

"I don't know John." Helen said as she lifted her hand so that it covered his where it still rested on her cheek. "So much has happened, too much for us to ever go back to how we once were." She took his hand from her face but kept hold of it, looking up she saw the resignation and hopelessness in his eyes. "But perhaps we can find a new way to be."

She saw the faint look of hope on his face, "Can I take this to mean that you still have feelings for me?"

"I do John." Helen said, "But I think we both need time."

"Perhaps." John agreed, "Will you allow me to court you and hopefully win your heart as I did once before?"

"You may." Helen said with a smile as John lifted her hand and kissed it.

"Thank you." John told her, "However I fear that I must leave, at least for a short time." He saw the startled and almost scared look on Helen's face so he reassured her. "Do not be frightened I merely need to make my peace, I believe that is what your Doctor Zimmerman called it. I am not about to go off on another killing spree, that part of me is now contained in the room next to us."

"Let me come with you John." Helen asked.

John shook his head, "No Helen, I believe this is one of those things I must do by myself but if it will make you feel better I will carry the cell phone you gave me at all times, I believe Mr Foss has ways to track it."

Helen nodded, "If you really think you have to do this John I won't try and stop you but please stay the night, I know it would mean a lot to Ashley." And me, she didn't add the final part aloud but it still hung in the air between them.

"As you wish." John agreed, "And when this is over I will come back, that is if I have a place here?"

"You'll always have a place here John." Helen promised him, "And I understand why you need to do this but I still don't like the idea of you leaving so soon."

John sighed, "I must Helen but I will return in a few days, you have my word on that." He smiled, "And then we will see if this time I can manage all eternity." He added as he kissed her hand once again.

Helen smiled and then remembered the other reason she had been looking for John originally, "I wanted to give you something." She told him and pulled a photograph from her pocket before handing it to him.

John looked at the picture then up at Helen, then down at the picture again as what he had seen fully registered in his brain and he had to double check he hadn't imagined it. No, as it turned out he hadn't, the photograph did in fact show their daughter, looking the same age she was now and wearing a Victorian-era dress. "How on earth did you get a picture like this?"

"It's a very long story." Helen started as she steered them out of the SHU and towards her office. "It started when I sent Ashley to Jack's for a fortnight."

Ashley was not happy when John informed her he would be leaving for a few days. The current arrangement was that he would take the Torchwood team back to Cardiff and then depart, but he promised he would be back within a week. That seemed to liven her up, as did the computer games tournament that Kate suggested, Sanctuary verses Torchwood John found himself mildly baffled by the whole discussion, but then he could scarcely manage a computer. Which was why he grabbed Henry as they were leaving the dinning room

"Mr Foss, a moment please."

Henry was suddenly very terrified, sure he knew intellectually that the thing that had made John Druitt a psychopath was locked up downstairs but he was also Ashley's father and had no doubt noticed Henry's feelings for her. "Yes?"

John's next words shocked Henry into silence, "I need your help."

"Err sure." Henry said not exactly sure if there was another response he could give, "What do you need?"

"Two things, first the location of Nigel Griffin's grave." That should be fairly easy John thought, no doubt the younger man had found it while trying to track down Nigel's descendent. The second part of slightly harder to actually say aloud. "Second I would like your help in procuring something for Helen and Ashley, although I would once have had no problem with finding roses for the ladies this is unfortunately a difference city, country and time. Thus I am slightly out of my depth."

Henry probably couldn't have been more shocked if John had asked him to dress in drag. "Sure man." Henry said, "Come with me." He led the older man through the house until they found a computer. "I know a place, I order a lot of flowers for Magnus, you know how the boss likes them."

"That I do." John agreed. "There should be sufficient on this to pay for them." He added pulling his bank card from his back pocket.

"Do I even want to know where you got that?" Henry asked and then looked away as he remembered who he was talking to.

"I was once quite wealthy and a hundred years of interest is quite a substantial amount." John told him as they reached one of the labs that had a computer, "I would prefer that Helen not know about it."

"Whatever." Henry muttered as he booted up the computer and logged on, he also wondered how he always seemed to end up keeping things from Magnus Usually it was for Ashley when she'd sneak out but now it seemed he'd be doing it for her father as well. "Here we go." Henry added as the website he wanted loaded, "What do you want?"

"They do custom bouquets I trust?" Henry nodded. "Then I would like two bouquets of a dozen roses each."

"Alright." Henry said as he pulled up the order form and began filling it in. "What colour?" John pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to the werewolf "Hey this is pretty specific, do these have a special meaning or something?"

"Perhaps." John neither agreed nor disagreed so Henry took it to mean that he's been right, "Can they be delivered here tomorrow afternoon?"

"After you've left?" John nodded. "Easy." Henry tapped some more commands into the website. "Do you want to add a message?"

"The flowers are the message Mr Foss, I fear the subtleties of communication are lost on the modern generation."

"Whatever." Henry said wondering if that was an insult or if it was just Druitt been a Victorian again, Magnus could get like that sometimes as well. "Done, I just need your card." John handed it over without any concern and Henry charged the two bouquets to his account, and they weren't cheep either. He closed down the internet program and called up the file he'd created while searching for Anna Griffin. He found the section he wanted and hit print. "There." He said handing the paper to John. "That's the graveyard where Nigel Griffin was buried, past that I'm afraid you'll have to find him the old fashioned way, look."

"Old fashioned still has it's uses." He reminded the younger man

"Well Helen it was an absolute pleasure to see you again." Jack was saying, John had already taken Gwen and Owen back to Cardiff, Tosh was supposed to have gone as well but she'd had some last minute things to take care of with Henry, the two of them were still taking and noting things down on his tablet. The current arrangement was that Ashley would take Tosh back to Cardiff while John transported Jack and Ianto

"Yes it has." Helen agreed "But it does always seem to be the most dire circumstances that bring us together Jack."

"Torchwood don't do many other kinds." Jack pointed out as he hugged her "Stay safe Helen, and keep your team safe as well."

"I will do Jack, and you do the same." Helen ordered him. Jack nodded and took a step back to allow John to say his goodbyes.

"I will be back within a week." He promised.

"I know you will John." Helen assured him but everyone could see how unhappy she was at his leaving The only person who looked more unhappy was Ashley. "Just keep yourself safe please, self preservation was never a skill we seemed to posses." She reminded him with a smile.

"That's because we were young and like all young people we believed ourselves immortal and invulnerable."

"Didn't you gentlemen come up with a rather drunken song along those lines?"

"I believe we did." John said, then he caught a look from Ashley and realised that when they had first meet he had told her part of the song but since she hadn't recognised it he was going to assume that Helen had never seen fit to inform her of it. "And that reminds me, Ashley said I should ask you about the radio." He was surprised when she blushed, "You don't have to tell me."

"No I will." Helen said, "It was the morning after you" She hesitated for a moment then continued, "After you had to leave there was a song on the radio I didn't like and I'm afraid that I decided to turn it off by throwing it at the wall, I assume it is now in the trash."

"Oh hell no." Henry spoke up from from where he and Tosh were putting the finishing touches to whatever it was they were working on, "I thought I'd get it framed as the only time Dr Magnus ever lost control." Helen debated losing control again, at least as much as it took to throw something at Henry this time.

With everyone having finally said their goodbyes, and Tosh been hauled away from Henry and reminded that they could finish whatever world domination scheme they had over the phone or by email, John and Ashley teleported the remaining Torchwood team back to Cardiff.

AN: As I said this story is almost finished, there are one or two others, one is a Torchwood/Sanctuary crossover (and would explain the story of Ashley in a dress), another is pure Sanctuary (John and Helen gettign together). What do people think? Post or not?