... If I owned anything in this fanfiction, it would not be child appropriate.

I tried to get this out for christmas, but many horrible things conspired against me- like my awesome fluffy bed, Mommy-enforced "Family-Time", and my little brother punching me out so he could get on FaceBook. Yep.

Soo... Merry belated generic holiday?

(I'm politically correct, lol.)

(PS- "~This is Cybertronian. Ironhide tried to be sneaky, but failed.~")

Miles looked back and forth between the shocked Optimus Prime and his friend.

"The Allspark's the thingy you're looking for, right?"

The leader visibly gathered himself, eyes still glued to the minuscule cube in Sam's hand.

"I- yes, yes it is. And that rock you're holding is a piece of it. A small piece, admittedly, but a piece nonetheless. It still holds power."

The black autobot with the cannons stepped forward, placing a hand on the other's shoulder.

"~Should we take it from him?~"

Sam snarled and edged away, almost falling off of Jazz's hand.

"~No! You're not taking it from me! I found it and it's mine!~"

All five robots looked at him in shock.

"Uh, dude? What did you just say to them?"

"You... heard me! You're right there, Miles!"

"Yeah I heard you, but I didn't understand a single word you said..."

"Wh-what? But... I spoke in English..."

"No, man, ya spoke in our native language. Ya just spoke Cybertronian."

Sam twitched, eyes darting up to Jazz.

"But I spoke... in English. It sounded like English... to me, anyways..."

"But you didn't. This... Humans shouldn't even be able to speak Cybertronian anyways. And there was no one to teach him!"

"I heard you speaking Parseltongue. Snake language. I spoke a different language? But I didn't realize..."

Jazz grinned, patting 'Bee on the head.

"He's got a point. Maybe it's just something he knows?"

"Or Knows," Miles piped in.

"You said that the rock was a part of your spark-thingy, right? Well, if it's yours, wouldn't it make sense that Sam Knows your language?"

Ratchet nodded, pulling a scanner out of nowhere and running it over the human who had quite a lot of surprises packed away in his tiny frame.

"Excuse... me? That's kind of rude, you know. What does... that thing even do, anyways?"

"Assesses your body's status and compares it to what is considered the norm for your species."

"Well, not a lot's gonna... match up. I'm not really... the poster boy for good health."

The scanner flashed red, beeping softly.

"I... take it that's not good?"

"You're underweight, dehydrated, suffering from severe scarring to the lungs, throat, back, and left arm, exhausted, and... there. Your body is infused with Allspark energy, probably from the fragment..."

"And that... means?"

"The fragment's chosen you. Even if we try to take it, Ironhide," here, the emergency vehicle glared at the bot with the cannons, "It will just return to you. Plus..."

"Plus?"

"Considering your overall condition and what a typical human can survive, it's probably the only thing keeping you alive."

"...Oh. Ok, then."

Miles tugged on a shirt sleeve.

"What'd he say?"

"Nothin', Miles... just forget it."

"We weren't planning on taking it in the first place, though. You found it, and it's yours to keep."

Sam nudged Miles with his elbow, whispering under his breath, "I like that one, he agrees with me."

Only to realize that his friend... was pissed off.

"You-you-you-"

"...Miles?"

"Gah! You idiot!"

And proceeded to whack his friend hard enough upside the head to knock him flat onto Jazz's hand.

"Oi! Miles, I... get enough abuse from the group home!"

"Did you hear what the ambulance-"

"Ratchet," Jazz mentioned helpfully, watching the events unfolding on his hand with interest.

"-Ratchet said? Exhausted. Underweight. Dehydrated. I- you- gah!"

Miles threw his hands up in the air, making odd, wringing motions with his hands.

"You are going to eat more if it's the last thing you do!"

"Miles? Can we... not have this argument in front of the giant alien robots?"

"No," he hissed, eyes narrowing, "We are having this conversation now. We are going to go home, you are going to eat a full meal, drink a full glass of water, then go get a full night's sleep. Then we can give the giant alien robots whatever they want. Understood?"

"But Miles-"

"Un-der-stood?"

"Yes, Miles," Sam said, head ducked sheepishly.

Miles turned to Optimus, hands on his hips.

"Look, I know the spark thingy is reeeally important to you guys, but you can wait one more day. I need to get my friend home before he kills himself with his stupidity!"

The last part was bit out at the cowering boy next to him.

"Yes, yes, perfectly understood, Jazz, if you would take them home? Good, I'll just be over there then..."

And the courageous leader of the Autobot forced fled from the minuscule human that was acting eerily similar to Ratchet.

"Huh, what got him all freaked out...?"

Bumblebee bounded over to Jazz and tapped his shoulder, looking down at him pleadingly.

"I can help you. You want me to, don't ya?"

Jazz, never able to resist the cute little robo-puppy-pleading-eyes-of-doom, sighed and motioned towards their cowardly leader.

"Only if Optimus says it's Ok."

'Bee cheered, a crackly, static-y painful sound, and bounced over to their leader, skipping back not thirty seconds later, grinning cheekily.

"Ya take Miles and follow me, 'kay?"

Bee nodded and transformed into a beat up old Camaro, throwing open the passenger door for Miles to get in. Jazz set Sam down on the ground and transformed, mimicking 'Bee.

Both cars took off, taking the children to Miles' house.

"So, kiddo, you said somethin' earlier about ya voice givin' out? Didn't think that happened t' humans..."

"I... there was a fire... the smoke damaged my lungs and throat. I... couldn't talk for almost a year. It still sticks sometimes."

"Oh."

Jazz, being the special ops bot that he was, was well aware that he was treading dangerous territory and should probably back off...

"Where exactly did you find a piece of the Allspark?"

Sam pulled the object out of his pocket, running his fingers over it, only now noticing the odd design stamped into two sides of the cube.

"My parents... took me on vacation with them a long time ago... I think I was about seven. We went to the Hoover Dam in Nevada, and I found the rock embedded in one of the walls. It fell out into my hand when I touched it, and I decided to keep it."

"I guess it really did pick you, then."

They pulled into a stop in front of Miles' house, where Miles then dragged Sam out of the car and into said house for food, water and rest. Jazz himself pulled up next to 'Bee and drifted into recharge.

Movie quotes used:

Twelve Monkeys

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Sorry for making you wait!