Chapter 3 Reliving the Nightmare

The journey back to the NCIS headquarters was long, not because of the distance, but because the silence that was in the car, a silence that you can hear a pin drop and echo all around you. Ziva spent the journey looking out the window reflecting all that had happened in the past few days. The pain in her shoulder was still there but it was nothing compare to the pain she had felt in her heart for all that she had done to her team, her 'family'. She felt herself getting sleepy she was tired and exhausted. Her eyes getting heavy she finally felt herself drifting off to sleep where her nightmare once again begins.

She again lost count how many times she been beaten, tortured, insulted and raped by Saleem's hands. She felt herself losing her identity, losing her self worth and losing the will to live. She again found herself curling up into a ball and hiding in the corner trying to bury her self deeper in the shadow to hide from the hell that she found herself in.

"I wish I can help you…" Ziva heard the soft female voice that spoke to her. "…But you can not."

"No, but what I can do is to be here to comfort you. Even, if it's only in your mind." Ziva slowly brought her head up and saw the late agent Michelle Lee in the same attire that she wore when she died by the hands of Gibbs. "You will get out of this."

"I do not think I can, not this time. They will not come for me… After all that I have done, I betrayed them." Michelle gave out a small smile. "You were in love… You followed your heart instead of your head you weren't to know."

"But I should have. My father after all sent him. I should have known it was too good to be true. We are after all MOSSAD and bounded by loyalty." Michelle sighed and sat down beside her, her hand on top of Ziva's. "You just have to hang on a bit longer. They will come." The tears began to roll down her cheek and drop on the dirt. "I do not think I can. You know what the worst of it is? They will not let me die."

"Ziva… Have faith."

"This is not the Ziva I know." Boomed a male voice. "Ari?" Ziva lifted her head to the sound of her late brother's voice was coming from. She turned to the other side of the room and saw him leaning with his right foot against the wall. Ari was wearing the same clothes that he wore when he died by Ziva's hands. "The Ziva I know is not just a fighter but a warrior. You after all did kill me."

"You haunting me as revenge?"

"No, far from it. Besides I was already dead before you killed me."

" So what does this all mean? Having the two of you being here? I am going mad? Or is my time to finally die?"

"No." Was Michelle's answer. "I'm…" She pointing to herself. "…Here as faith that you will come out this alive."

"And I am…"

"…The devil on her shoulder?" Michelle interrupted. "No… I am here to remind you that you are STILL a FIGHTER and WARRIOR. Here to remind you that you are not losing this battle. That you can beat Saleem…" Ari stressed trying to get Ziva's fighting spirit back up. "Ari…" Ziva stopped him. "No Ziva…"

"Ari…" Sister and brother locked eyes on each other and Ari fears had been confirmed, Ziva's eyes were empty they lost their sparkle. There were hollow, eyes are the window of the soul and that moment Ari saw Ziva's soul had gone. She was rapidly losing all her will to live. "Ziva…" He tried again. "No Ari… I am tired… I am their slave… I am their bitch… I am what they say I am… I do what they want me to do… I am no longer alive… Let us face it! I am not leaving here alive or... Dead." Ari and Michelle looked at each other both knowing what is happening to her. She has lost the will, her spirit and all hope of getting out of here safely. "No, Ziva you have to fight this! Don't go to that dark place of your mind. Fight it! As once you get there, you will never pull yourself out you will be living life like a zombie. Hang in there a little longer…" Ari had joined them sitting beside Ziva. "Ziva…" He said her name in a whisper. "I can not… At least I no longer feel the pain."

"Ziva…" Michelle said her name, trying… Hoping... to pull her out of that dark place. "It is okay. I have accepted it." The tears kept on pouring down her cheeks; she saw the same in Michelle and Ari eyes. "What do you need us to do?"

"Just stay with me…Please. Do not let me be alone." She pleaded. She knows that they were her figment of imagination but she needed the comfort.

Ari put her head on his lap and sung a song he used to sing to her when she was scared. She smiled as she heard the familiar song that always brought her comfort and being safe; back to a time of innocence. "Ari... I am sorry… I…"

"Shhh… I know… You did what was right… Now shhh and rest we are both here." No sooner as Ziva settled and at last beginning to close her eyes, she heard the footsteps heading towards her way, she could feel herself grabbing onto Ari although she knew it was really the wall. "Ari…Michelle…" All eyes were on the door. Ari stood up and Michelle carried on stroking her hair.

The door opened, she expected to see Saleem but to her shock it was three of his men. Ari's eyes were full of hate and he rushed over them throwing punches knowing that it will only go through them. "Get away from my sister…" He screamed but knowing that it was not heard he looked back at Ziva his eyes red raw with the tears and knowing he couldn't do anything, that he was only alive in Ziva's head. "Ziva…"

What looked like the leader of the group stepped forward and roughly grabbed Ziva's hair pulling her up and dragged her to the middle of the room only to push her back down onto the ground. "Have you finally gone mad Jew? Were you just talking to yourself?" The other two men laughed out loud. Grabbing her hair once again this time twice as hard. She yelped, making her dead soulless eyes looking at his eyes of fire and lust. This was new, this was freighting, so far it had only been Saleem that touched her, that committed the most vile of crimes that a man can do to a woman.

Now standing before her were three of his strongest men. "Guess you have not heard. Saleem had given his permission for us all, to use you as a whore that you are. You see? Even he now founds you so repulsive and damaged. So he is passing you off like a used up toy to us." She saw the other two men leering at her and licking their lips and his free hand going towards his combats dropping them, followed by his pants and showing that he was already excited. "Here you go bitch! Do the deed and suck my seed." The room was filled with roars of laughter. Forcing Ziva's head to his pride and joy, he had a moment of bliss before a scream can be heard then a hard slap. A quiet 'yes' was said by Ari and Michelle as they saw Ziva bite the guy's penis giving him pain instead of the pleasure that he wanted. So in retaliation he gave her a hard slap. "Bitch! You should not have done that." Ziva smirked as her fighting spirit returned if it was only brief. "There is nothing more you can do to me, to hurt me. That Saleem has not already done." It was now their turn to laugh. Pulling back up his combats he gave out an order. "Grab her arm." Ziva struggled as the two men tried to hold her still and held out her arm. The leader then took out a syringe and a vial, he empty the vial into the syringe and slowly walked over to Ziva. "There something that you need to know about Saleem, Jew and that is, he likes to experiment, likes to find new ways of getting high. He came up with this… It took a lot of trial and error…" He smiled as he remembered how many women had fallen victim to this 'drug'. "…But he in the end perfected it and you... lucky lady, are the first to try it out."

Realising what is happening she struggled more, but it was of no use their grip was firm and making her stay put. She watched as the leader began to inject the colourless liquid into her arm. The effects was almost immediate, she felt her body in heat and could not stop it. She turned to where Ari was standing and shouting for them to get away from her and throwing the punches that did no harm. She turned towards Michelle who could do nothing but wait for them to finish with her so that she can comfort her. "Now you are willingly to giving it up like a cheap slut." The leader then tried again dropping his clothes to the floor he nodded to his men to let her go and watch as she writhed around and touching herself, pulling at her clothes to try and get rid of them.

He knelt on the ground as the other two men began to strip. The leader was rough with her, grapping and groping her breasts pulling off her clothes. Licking, sucking and biting every inch of her body and she can not control how her body reacted right now it was a matter of need and want instead of intrution and violation. The leader opened her legs wide seeing her; in all her glory, his head buried deep inside her, again licking, biting and sucking. The leader made Ziva go on all fours as he gave it to her from behind whilst she sucks off the other two. They took turns in raping her and slapping her for the fun of it.

They had to be quick and fast after all... if Saleem catches them, their heads will be on the end of sticks as no one touches the property of Saleem.

Ziva did not need to know that the leader of the gang had lied. There were after all 29 other men that have their own needs to fulfil. Why should Saleem be the only one to have all the fun?

When they were done they left her used and abused body in the dirt and exited out of her cell, she could hear the laughter echo around her.

She did not know how long she had been passed out, she opened her eyes cursing that she was still alive, with all her strength she managed to push herself back to the wall, bringing her knees up and burying her face.

She could hear both Michelle's and Ari's voices to comfort and trying to bring her out of deep depression she was quickly entering into. Their voices getting louder and louder she covered her ears to block everything out; Blocking out all their pity and comfort until she snapped. "Shut up, shut up... shut the FUCK UP!" She screamed. The voices had indeed stopped but as she looked back up she realised how alone she was. "Michelle? Ari?..." She looked around her cell and saw no sign of them. "I am sorry..." She begged hoping they would reappear again but knowing they will not she rocked back and fourth holding herself tighter. "...I am sorry... I do not want to be alone." It was then in as many days she let herself to cry and lose hope.

The car had stopped, Tony switched off the engine and turned to face Ziva who he watched as she was trapped in a dream but in her case and like the night she had spent at his. He knew she was having that same nightmare. He gently shook her which startled her and cause her to fight back and lash at him. "Leave me alone…"

"Ziva..."

"I said NO!" Ziva felt both her wrists being restrained making her panic even more so that she opened her eyes, her breathing was heavy and she could feel herself perspire... but instead of seeing the soulless brown eyes of her main attacker for those three hellish months. She saw the calm and gentle blue eyes of her colleague. "Tony?"

Tony looked deep in her chocolate brown eyes and saw the fear there, he wanted to help her but she has to be the one to ask and he knows more then anyone not to push her. "We back at NCIS."

"Thanks..." Without another word spoken she open the car door and exit out of the car. Tony followed. "Ziva... wait!"

"What!?" She turned back at him. "I don't know what the hell your problems are, but you need to talk to someone and soon... Even if it's to a stranger."

"I am fine."

"Really? Why don't you tell that to McGee." Ziva mentally kicked herself as she forgot that McGee was a victim in all of this. She looked at him only for him to look at the window. She turned and start to head for the entrance only for Tony to stop her. "No you wait for me to walk you in." His voice was gentle when he turn to McGee. "Come on probie let's get you cleaned up." Seeing McGee refusing to move he was about to say something else when he saw why McGee was staying put. "Here you can put this on..." He passed McGee his bag that contain his spare NCIS clothing. "I always carrying a spare." McGee nodded his thanks whilst Tony looked back at Ziva seeing her being impatient and wondering if she will ever open herself up to him.

TBC...

Sorry for the delay but hey 3 chapters in one night! Does that make up for it! More updates soon