Chapter 5 I Am That Monster

Both Abby and Ziva looked at the result that was shown on the screen. Abby in shock and Ziva expected as much. "She saved my life." Ziva whispered to herself so that Abby did not hear. Abby who was still looking at the screen whilst speaking to Ziva. "Ziva, the result is 98.9%, the only reason why it is not 100% is we both know you did not smoke it. However, to get a match that high, the person has to be related to you. Like a sibling..." Turning to face Ziva, she could see that Abby was now PISSED OFF. "What's going on with you? We all know what happened to your brother and you had mentioned that your sister died..." Ziva cringed at the mention of her siblings especially Tali.

Without saying anything Ziva turned and began to walk away, but Abby was quickly by her side. "Oh, no you don't. You're not walking away from this. Not this time. McGee got hurt because of you and you have yet to ask how he is. I thought we were friends... I thought by now you can trust us to help you... Ziva!" Abby grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn around.

"Abby, let go of me I have no time for this!" The remark only made Abby tighten her grip more. "Ziva..."

"Abby... I am warning you! Do not make me hurt you." The threat instantly made Abby release her hold and gave a hurt look on her face. Ziva closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm down. "I am sorry, Abby I..."

"Just forget it...Just make sure you talk to McGee." There was silence between the two women, the atmosphere tense. Abby just turned her back on her carrying with her work deeply upset that Ziva had made a threat towards her.

Ziva left the lab knowing that she have to give her time, she headed straight to the ladies bathroom to splash some water on her face and to look at her injuries. She was exhausted and stressed but she had to push herself to carry on and finish it before more people get hurt.

Splashing the cool water on her face she momentarily let herself break down and allowed herself to cry, having her tears mix in with the water. She tried to wipe away the tears but more kept on running down her cheek and as quicker as the last. Mentally telling herself to pull it together and to take her mind of things she decided to have a look at her injuries, specially her arm.

"Ouch, that does not look good." She heard the voice but did not turn around to face him. "I had worse."

"I believe you. You look you step into the ring with the million dollar baby..." Tony walked up to her as he saw her struggle. "I thought you might need this..." He showed her the dressings he brought her along with some antiseptic. "Thanks..." She smiled at him grateful that they were no longer arguing. "Here, let me help you..." He offered as he saw her struggling. He gazed into her eyes not saying anything just helping her to untie his tie on her arm and put a proper dressing on. "This is going to hurt..." He poured antiseptic on some cotton wool and began to clean the wound, she hissed and held on his arm tight letting him clean and re-dress the wound. "You should let Ducky see this..."

"So everyone keeps telling me..." She smiled light heartily. "How do you know I was still here? I mean I could have left the building."

"I spoke to Abby." Their eyes met she didn't move and he just carried on cleaning her wound. "I think this wound is deeper then it seems..."

"What did she say?" She couldn't look at him directly for the shame, so looked at him in the mirror. "She's worried about you. We all are. I get that you need time but don't let this eat you. We are here for you, you know that right?"

Ziva looked back at him and nodded. "I know." They caught each other's eyes a moment silence spoke volume than words could ever do. "This is still bleeding, you might need stitches..."

"Tony..." She wanted to say something to him, tell him the truth but she did not know where to start, so she changed the subject. "You spoke to Gibbs?"

"Yeah, he's having no luck with the case. No hard evidence to arrest her, the place was clean." Ziva looked at him with shock. "No evidence!? There were maps over the wall, computers... There must be something about the marines that she killed."

"Nothing the maps were bogus and the computers clean, he is letting Fornell in on the case as some of the dead were wanted by them. He is going to meet us at his." Tony doing the best he can with what he got for her wound at last finished and wrapped the dressing on tight, she grip on Tony's arm again with her free hand as he tighten the dressing not wanting to show him how much pain she truly was in. "There you go, not the best but it will hold for now." Again they caught each other's eyes, if she wasn't press for time she might, might have told him everything. Unfortunately time was not on her side. "We need to go."

"Promise me you get Ducky to look at your arm." Ziva sighed. "Will it get you to shut up?" She asked good naturedly. "Yes it would." Tony answered back as they were walking towards the lift, ignoring the stares the other agents were given her, she carried on when she saw Director Vance standing on the second floor watching her. She didn't know how she will break the news to the rest about her suspension.

They got inside the lift she saw the look in Tony's face. "I am fine Tony, you don't have to worry about me."

"I know...But you should know me by now Ziva, I will never stop." Ziva again stared at Tony wanting to say something to him, but yet she find she could not.

The lift's door closed and they went down to the car park to head for Gibb's house.

Ducky went towards Aminah they arrived in record time, Tali asking if she was okay to get out to stand and walk with aid even if it for a few seconds just so that they can enter the premises. "I think so... Just be slow." With an arm underneath Tali and Alex they slowly and cautiously enter Gibbs' house, followed by Ducky.

"Put her on the couch, get me some water and clean towels..." Ducky ordered, Aminah was clearly in pain but trying desperately to hold on. "You know you would have been better off in a hospital."

"You know why I can not. I trust you to do your best." Ducky asked if she was ready, seeing her nod; he began to get into work.

Gibbs was at a lost, he saw the maps around the room that held McGee captive. But there weren't any markings to give him any clue of their next move, all he saw were photos of himself and his team on top of the table. The computers had also shown nothing, nothing about the dead marines. He recognise one or two of the dead that Fornell wanted, with being two people down on his team he was running thin and decided to give Fornell a call hopefully to take some of the case load and he can focus more on Aminah's mum and getting justice for the dead.

He spoke to Tony and decide it was best for all of them to meet at his place where he can at least feel useful and protect them whilst coming up with a new plan with the help of Aminah and he will need to talk to Ziva, for that he will need the strongest coffee from his favourite coffee shop.

Ducky removed the torque that was helping to stop the bleeding and began to clean the wound as well as control the bleeding that was still steeping out. He could see how pale she was getting and he was running out of time. Asking Tali to be at her side; while Alex was helping Ducky with getting more towels and more clean water, he saw Tali pushed back the loose strands of her hair out of her face and with a wash cloth gently wiped away the perspire from her face. "I need to remove your shirt to get a better look." He asked gently. Not missing the look both Tali and Aminah gave each other knowing he will see the many scars that she bears. The results for helping out one friend and being punished by the other. He noticed the conflict in both the young women's eyes "It is the only way I get to see the exact damage and to stop the bleeding." Realising she did not have a choice she gave Ducky permission to cut away her shirt.

He gasped on what he saw.

Tony and Ziva were travelling in silence, mostly as Ziva had again, fallen fast asleep and snoring away. 'God she's tired.' He again saw how restless she became, her REM giving away that her sleep was not peaceful. Sighing he wondered if she will truly one day open up to him and let her demons free so she can finally be at peace.

Approaching Gibbs house with some hesitation he woke Ziva up and pulled his hands away as not to startle her as previous as before. "Ziva... we here." He watched as again she panic before getting her bearings straight. Seeing Tony backed away she calmed herself down and gave a little smile before they both got out of the car. "Have you taken something for that?" Tony asked. "For what?" Ziva replied. "The restless sleep... How long has it been since you had a decent night's sleep?"

"I told you once Tony and I will keep on telling you. I am fine. Besides sleep is for the dead." Tony laughed and replied back. "You know you keep on saying that your fine, but I think you are trying to convince yourself more then me." Ziva said nothing and they both carried walking towards the front door.

As Ducky cut off Aminah's shirt, he expected the bloodiness around her wound but not the many scars covering all her flesh, besides the noticeable scar that runs down her eye he did not think she had suffered this much. "My dear child who was the monster that did this to you?" Before Aminah got to say a word, the front door opened and both Tony and Ziva come in and stood by the couch frozen.

Ziva having heard Ducky's question went white as she saw her friend laying there and her scars revelled. Before Ziva could stop herself she answered the question for her. "I am Ducky..." She looked at Ducky...Her eyes once again filling up and again she tried to fight to hold them back. "...I am the monster that did that to her." Ducky looked at Aminah then back at Ziva he knew a bit about Ziva's past and had sympathise and rationed that she was capable of doing things and why but never once did he imagination to see the prove.

Everyone in the room stood still and having the entrance blocked by Tony she went towards the back garden for fresh air. Once Tony got over the shock he was going to follow her but was stopped by Tali. "You stay here and help look after Aminah I speak to her..."

"Tali..." Aminah warned. Tali looked at her friend with guilt knowing that she was the cause of her friend's injuries as much as Ziva, she smiled and tried to reassure her that nothing will happen. "Aminah you have always said that I should talk to her. So I am going to talk to her."

"Talk... Tali, meaning, use of words... not fists..."

"Of course..." Tali smiled back knowing full well the 'discussion' that was long over due will not end well.

Ducky recovered quickly and went back to aiding the injured woman who was now showing signs of stress. "You need to relax my dear...Else you may worsen your injury. Tony please..." Tony went to Ducky's side and help comfort Aminah before the penny dropped. "Tali?... As in Ziva's little sister Tali?" He looked at first to Tali and she nodded. "As in Ziva's 'dead' little sister Tali? That Tali?" He then looked down at Aminah who managed a small sheepish smile and a little nod of confirmation. "Of course it is..." He smiled suddenly feeling faint himself and glad that he is not Ziva.

TBC

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