Chapter 3

Sid walked to lunch that day to see a big commotion around his lunch table. Rhonda stood in the center, Nadine and Lila backed her up with confused faces.

"Stinky, I want you to tell me what you think." Rhonda demanded.

"I don't see why yur all worked up about this Rhonda." Stinky said.

"Hey Rhonda, what's the big idea?" Sid said with confusion.

Rhonda's face suddenly lit up as she realized that Sid walked in. "Sid! What perfect timing. You're a guy right?"

"Um, yeah…"

"You know Sid; you are one of the coolest kids in school…" Rhonda said with a bit of sarcasm, but Sid was too flattered to realize that she was joking.

"Boy Howdy, thanks Rhonda! I like your shoes today, I was meaning to tell you…and-" he was cut off.

"Oh thanks Sid, I like them too, anyway, I wanted to ask you a question because I need another cool kid's opinion…" she said with even more mockery.

"Sure Rhonda! Anything for you!" he said with an antsy smile.

She sneered at the way she could make him kiss her feet. "Is Helga G Pataki in anyway appealing to you?"

Sid was taken aback for a moment. Helga Pataki? Attractive? A revelation dawned on him when he thought about it. Helga wasn't bad. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Helga was kinda hot. Sure, she scowled at everyone and wouldn't speak to people, but Sid couldn't say no. Her cap and jacket made her look like a real brat, but in this way, she was cute. Her flare jeans emphasized her curves, and as she grew older, her face became very pretty. But he needed to answer the question fast, because Rhonda looked impatient. He needed to say something…cool.

"Well, Helga does have a nice butt." Sid said casually. He rubbed his fingernails on his shirt to add weight to his "coolness".

Stinky and the other boys at the table smiled guiltily as they exchanged glances. They knew it too.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Rhonda said disdainfully.

Sid was hung up in his "cool" zone. "Rhonda, you asked for my cool opinion, so you got it. And it looks like Stinky and Harold agree with me."

She groaned and said, "Sid, you really aren't cool, and neither are your Beatle boots."

Sid processed what Rhonda said, and started to panic, "Rhonda! Wait! I am cool!" he started screaming his paranoid cry, "I AM COOL!" He dropped on his knees dramatically.

Stinky reassured him. "It's okay Sid; we all wish we could be one of them beautiful people…"

Harold started laughing at Sid, "AHAHAHAHA Sid is uncool and thinks Helga Pataki has a nice butt, AHAHAHA!"

Lila commented on the situation, "Well I think that Helga started to ever-so look like her ever-so wonderfully talented and beautiful sister Olga. She's just a tad bit rude, but I know that she's ever-so sweet. I think Helga is just ever-so mean because Arnold left. I mean, he was ever-so dear to her." She said.

Rhonda frowned, completely appalled. "Are you kidding me? Arnold and Helga?! That was SO two years ago! They practically made me gag! Lila, don't say that, it's like social suicide...and there's no way Helga Pataki looks like her stylish sister Olga! She has a UNIBROW still, and that's totally UNCOOL."

"Rhonda, she might look mean on the outside, but you can't judge a book by its cover! What would the Abdicator do right now? He would try to find the good in people!" Eugene said.

"Eugene, the Abdicator doesn't exist." Sid shot back.

"Still! Be there for the little guy!"

Peapod Kid heard what was going on, and joined in their conversation, "Now that I think about it Rhonda, I'm terribly, terribly sorry to say that Helga does look like her sister Olga."

"AGH!" Rhonda screamed.

The lunch room doors swung open and Helga Pataki walked in, alone like always. She went and got her lunch, then sat down at a table by herself.

Stinky started chuckling, but only spoke loud enough so the kids around their table would hear, "Sid, stop watchin' Helga's butt, haha!"

Sid elbowed him, "Shut up."

Helga looked down and stared at her mystery meat. Thinking. Playing with her food. She had a look of longing on her face when Wolfgang walked up to her table.

"Hey I got yo-" he started.

"Look Wolfgang, you're a douche and there is no way we are getting together. Comprende?"

"S-so, so, you're just going to stay single for the rest of your life? Who are you waiting for? The football headed kid? Let me remember, he broke up with you before he moved to the North Pole or something. I don't think you even have any friends, do you? You're sitting by yourself. You must be really repelling with your stubborn attitude and your one eyebrow. Haven't you heard of waxing?" he teased. The whole lunch room was watching now, "I guess that's what desperation brings people down to." They heard everything Wolfgang said.

Helga's expression was full of sorrow as he brought back the memory of Arnold to her, and suddenly she grabbed his neck, and a new ferocity burned inside of her, "OH, so now I'm stubborn, desperate and hideous? Oh no. YOU were the one who said quote on quote this morning, 'Hey Helga, you look really sexy today,' with your oh-so seductive voice and then asked me on a date!" She took his face and smashed it into the table, which broke in half, "I HATE MEN!" she screamed, and then she ran out the lunch room.

The lunch room filled with disbelief from what just happened.

The awkward silence was interrupted by Nadine, "I've never seen her cry before…"

"Wolfgang asked Helga out on a date?" asked Eugene.

Harold spoke up, "Yeah, and every time he gets rejected like a sissy! Everyone on the football team knows it, AHAHA!"

"I ever-so hope Helga's okay."

Rhonda felt a pang of guilt for Helga.

Phoebe stood up from her lunch table across the room, and attempted to follow her, but Gerald held her and said "I think it's best if she's left alone."