Alright, this chapter is a bit dark, just fyi, but nothing too bad. Thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 4

Helga ran to her locker, grabbed her jacket, and backpack and left Hillwood High. She just wanted to ride her bike. Somewhere where there is lots of hills. So she left the school, her destination was unknown, but it sure was better than staying with all of those asses at school. How could Wolfgang ever say that to her? About her eyebrow and stubbornness, she didn't care. The Arnold thing made her snap. How could he bring Arnold up like that? Why did it matter to him?

Why should it matter to me if he brought up Arnold?

Helga was in a state of confusion. She dreadfully wanted to forget about Arnold. It's not like he was coming back soon anyway. But at the same time, she couldn't forget about him. A day could not pass when she doesn't think about him, even though he dumped and broke her heart. Everything seemed great for a while when they dated. Helga was happier. She didn't snap at people all the time. Sure, the kids at school were a little weirded out but she didn't care. Helga actually cared about how she looked when she was with Arnold. She used to let her hair down, the way Arnold liked it, and she used to dress up for school. And all the same, when she was with Arnold, she felt like she was loved by someone, and like someone cared about her.

Oh yeah, well he wouldn't have broken up with me if he cared.

Ok, I need to stop thinking about this.

She rode home and went to the kitchen to find Miram drinking, again. Bags hung under her red eyes, and her hair was a mess. "Honey, you should be in the hospital right?"

Well, at least she doesn't know I'm skipping school.

Helga rolled her blue eyes and let out an exasperated "No." She grabbed the bottle of wine, corked it up, and put in the Alcohol cabinet. Next time she would remember to lock it up before she left for school. She really needed to do something about her mother's drinking problem. Her addiction had become so bad; Helga was surprised Miriam hadn't started drinking mouthwash yet.

Miriam rubbed her tired eyes and slapped a hand down on the table, "Good, because I needed to tell you something sweetie."

"Knock me out." Helga said as she fixed herself a snack. She also put some toast in the toaster for Miriam's stomach.

"Your friend's mother called so you can take a driver's training class together. First class is tomorrow after school at the old elementary school! Won't that be fun?"

"Sure Mom. Sure." At least Miriam had the decency to sign her up from driver's ed with Phoebe. Wait, did she say Phoebe? Oh well, what other friend did she have? Lila? No one else at the school liked her.

Except Wolfgang.

NO! He doesn't like me. He just wants my virginity.

Helga grabbed the toast from the toaster and put in on a plate for Miriam, then sat down on the barstool next to her. "Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Sure! That's what friends are for!" She said with drunken enthusiasm.

That's what moms are for, Miriam, but you almost fail in that category, so I guess we're friends.

"There's this kid at school…who wants to go out with me…but he's a douche, ya know?" Helga began.

"Mmmhmmm…" She moaned while peeling off the crust of her toast, much like a little kid.

"But no matter how many times I say no, he keeps asking me. And when I say no, he'll torment me in front of the whole school."

Miriam swung her head back and forth, "Don't give in Helga, that's what I did."

"You did?"

"Yeah your father was a reaaaallll…." She took a bite of toast and searched her mind for the right word, "Prick." She finally said. "I only dated him in the first place because he wouldn't go away." She threw her arms up in the air, "Now look where I am! Weeeeeeeee!" Then Miriam threw her head on the table.

Helga put a hand on her mother's shoulder for comfort. "It's okay mom." Miriam's display literally cracked her heart up. That's what happened, mom? That's why you're like this?

It was always clear to Helga that her mother suffered from depression. She just never knew the cause. She needed to help Miriam cope with her problems, but never knew how to help her. Drinking seemed like her only outlet. She even tried to take Miriam to rehab, but she never would go. So Miriam continued to deal with her depression by drinking.

It's not like I'm much better.

Helga pulled up her jacket sleeve to reveal the aging scar on her arm. It read "Arnold" and alongside it was a small heart.

xXxFlashbackxXx

It was more than a year ago when she etched the name into her pale skin. Helga could remember that day vividly. Arnold left more than four months before, and Phoebe was busy with Gerald, leaving Helga alone and unrecognized. That day at school, Wolfgang started degrading her in front of everyone that he continued to do today. More than anything in the world, she wanted Arnold back home. Arnold left Helga on a bad note. They got into a huge fight over Arnold leaving, and said something she shouldn't have. She just wished that she could take back everything she said. But she knew it was too late for that.

Normally when Helga was most dismayed about Arnold's absence, she would write letters to him. But today, as she came home with tears running down her face, the knifes in the kitchen were quite tempting, so she grabbed one and ran upstairs to her room. Miriam wasn't home because the night before, Miriam was sent to the hospital for drinking more than her alcoholism could take. Big Bob was on a business trip in Mexico. No one was in the house.

Helga with the knife in her hand took a deep breath. She took the knife and spelt out the name "Arnold", on her forearm, letting her pain seep out.
Helga threw the letters into her bag and left the house.

She rode her bike until she found herself Sunset Arms boarding house and stared at Arnold's old mail box. The one before he moved. Should she mail her letters? The ones she meant to mail, but never did? The ones she wanted to burn, but still kept in her drawers?

She pulled out the locket from her jacket with her Football Head's picture in it.

"Oh Arnold, if only you were here. I'm a mess without you. I just hurt myself over a boy. Over you. When will you return to me, my love? Or am I to remain here forever pained with your absence?" she sulked, pulling the locket in to her chest.

Tears ran down her face and then a mob of pets ran up to the boarding house. "It is his pig! His faithful steed Abner! Oh if only could see him, that football headed angel. If only I could smell his delicious shampoo! Huagh!" Helga sighed. Her attention now focused on the side of his house, where she could see his fire escape.

Helga thought back to the many times she climbed it to look at her beloved's room, the place she often visited in her dreams…and she found herself doing the same thing again. She left her bike on the side of the building, and started climbing the rungs one by one, until she reached the top. She heard several things coming from inside the house, including, "Susie, make me a sandwich!", so she knew people were home.

She reached the top of the building, looking into Arnold's skylight.

Memories of Helga's childhood stealth missions and all the times Arnold and Helga hung out while they dated flooded her thoughts when she saw his room for the first time in years.

She threw her jacket off and took out the letters from her backpack. The ones she wrote to Arnold, and she sat against his skylight and read them to herself.

Dear Arnold,

Two months passed since you left for San Lorenzo. I miss you dearly my love. Why did you ever leave me Arnold? You're all that has been on my mind for weeks! I have become so cruel to everyone! The only person I have by my side is Phoebe! Please tell me that one day, you will come back to my angel. That one day we will meet again, and pretend like nothing ever happened. That you didn't break up with me, and that you still love me! Oh Arnold! Please come home soon, or I'll lose my sanity! I love you! How could I ever think not? Perhaps I will mail this to you. But we will see.

With Pining Remorse,

Helga G Pataki

She read the letter with disgust and ripped it apart.

How could I ever write that? Or mailed it for that matter!

Helga pulled another letter from her backpack and read it to herself.

Dear Arnold,

I don't know why I'm writing this to you, because I obviously hate your guts, and you're a complete jerk, so don't get too flattered by this football head. Besides, it's not like I'm going to mail this to you or something. I'll probably leave it in my drawer because I'm too stubborn to mail this to you. I know I don't love you anymore, I know I hate you. I hate you with love. Wait no, I just hate you. GAH! Anyway, I just need to write to someone. So Gerald asked out Phoebe last week. I was really happy for them you know? But the problem is Phoebe has been kind of ignoring me. Well not ignoring, but blowing me off so she can hang out with Gerald. And she comes up with a lame excuse every time! I mean, it wouldn't be as bad if she just told me she was doing something with Gerald, but no! She will say something stupid like "Oh, I have a dentist appointment….again….so I can't do anything after school Helga." It's really starting to piss me off. I officially have no one to talk to. I can't help it though, ever since you left, I've been so quiet and angry to everyone. It's not because I'm upset you're gone though, I couldn't be more happy! Well, I'm not happy, but that's aside the point. The point is I'm all alone. You left me Arnold, and I hate your guts for it. I used to be so much nicer to everyone until you LEFT! AGH!

Hopefully, this won't be sent to you.

Helga

She ripped it and then Helga took out her locket and threw it across the roof of the building. She sat there crying until she fell asleep on Arnold's roof.

xXxEnd of FlashbackxXx

Helga still held her mother and softly said, "It's ok Mom. You're not alone."

PS. If you're reading this tonight, it's trending tuesday for Hey Arnold! Let's keep trending to save the Jungle Movie!

Join the group on facebook or sign the petition! (Just google it!)

Thanks for reading!