Soi Fon's Apartment

4:22 PM

Soi Fon

"What the hell do you mean it's a tattoo?"

Yoruichi sighed. "The ink is raised you definitely got tattooed last night, although I'm not sure why you would want someone to tattoo "Penis in your ass" on your body."

"Dude I got fucked so hard last night, this sucks."

"Well it's not that big and you could possibly get it removed so it's no big deal for now." Yoruichi said

"I'm going to take a shower and wash my dirty whore-ness down the drain." I said turning on the water.

Yoruichi nodded and walked out of the bathroom. I stripped off my underwear and stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over me. After a horrible night it felt soothing and my muscles relaxed under the heat. I was in for about fifteen minutes when I noticed someone come in the shower behind me I slipped around covering myself.

"Who the fuck? And what the fuck?"

"Hey there I have some great news!" Yoruichi had come into the shower and was currently naked as well trying to have a conversation.

"I don't give a damn, this isn't Girls Gone Wild 2, get the fuck out!"

She totally ignored me. "I just got a hell butterfly, apparently Old Man Yamamoto plans to give me a life time achievement award, and have a ceremony for me!"

I stopped for a minute. "Wow that's actually amazing."

"Such good news isn't it?" Yoruichi came forward with her arms open in an attempt to hug me. My instincts were quick and I shoved her away.

"What's wrong?" She looked hurt.

I was irritated. "Let me explain something to you. We're not going to be hugging all naked and shit rubbing our tiddies together and mixing my milk with your cocoa puff. I've got news for you Yoruichi, this milkshake is not going to bring anyone to the fucking yard. I'm not sure what you brown Shihouin people call it, you little brownies, chocolate chips. But this is what Asian people like me call "Lesbian". This is called lesbian and I'm not going to be lezing out with you. So what you need to do is get the fuck out of my shower and put your damn clothes pack on!"

"Did you call me a brownie?" She looked confused.

"Yes I certainly did, you are a brown person."

"Why did you take off your clothes and come in here?" I asked.

"Well I wanted to tell you the good news but I didn't want to get my clothes wet so I took them off."

I rubbed my head in aggravation. "Did it maybe occur to you to just wait or talk to me outside the shower?"

She rubbed her chin. "Well not really."

"Ok now get out please!"

She snorted at me. "You're mean."

"Fucking muff diver." I muttered.

5:16 PM

I finished my shower after some time and then I stepped out and dried. I walked straight to my room and finally got some clothes on. I wasn't really into wearing my captain's uniform when I didn't have to. So I put on jeans that I cut off at the ankles and just a plain black sweatshirt. I opened my door hoping to go out again and get wasted but Yoruichi was standing right in front of me.

"We're going out to dinner." She said firmly.

"No I'm going to get crunk and you're staying here." I retorted.

"Soi Fon we live together but we're total strangers, we should really spend some time together."

"Why? You don't do the things I do there is no point for us to have interaction."

I could see my words stung her a little bit by the expression on her face. But what could I do? Our lives had gone in completely different directions. It was like we couldn't coexist. I wasn't "Bee" anymore, I was a haggard drunk asshole. Yoruichi seemed determined to change that though.

"It's just one dinner." She pleaded.

I threw my head back and sighed. I guess I did need to eat if I was going to drink all night.

"Ok one dinner."

Yoruichi clapped her hands together and smiled. "Alright let's go."

She took my hand and led me out the door and I reluctantly followed. We walked the streets shortly before we found a small place that specialized in Ramen. We were seated shortly in a cozy corner. I didn't bother looking at the menu. I always ordered plain Miso Ramen so it was irrelevant for me to look at the menu.

"Do you know what you're getting?" Yoruichi asked.

I had my head on the table, and I looked up slightly. "Yeah well I get the same shit every time."

"You know you could at least act like your having a good time." Yoruichi said looking at the menu.

"Yeah because this is so much better than getting wasted." I said snidely.

The waiter came and took our order and of course I got and beer. When the brought it to me it was the first thing I put in my mouth.

"Do you ever stop drinking?" Yoruichi looked disgusted.

"That's a stupid question." I said back

The waiter came out with the food and I gave up on talking and stuffed my mouth with food. About half way through the meal Yoruichi tried conversation again.

"So anything new?" She asked quietly.

I swallowed my food. "Well I've been drunk and high since three days after you left so you tell me."

She looked completely caught off guard. "Soi Fon I-I never meant for it to be like that."

"And what exactly was it supposed to be like Yoruichi? You fucked me. You bent me over and fucked me."

"Soi things just got mixed up really bad and I didn't know what to do. I just tried to do what was best."

I could see the sorrow in her eyes. I might have cared 100 years ago, but time turned me into an asshole and I no longer cared about other's feelings, it just annoyed me.

"You know what you're like? You're like an alcoholic dad who leaves their wife and kids and then hangs out at the Indian casino all day long buying cheap vodka and dirty hookers."

She looked at me sadly. "You don't mean that."

I shoved the table straight into Yoruichi's stomach making her gasp. "You should have at least kissed me on the mouth before you left because I like to be kissed on the mouth right before I get FUCKED!"

I stood up and started to walk away. Yoruichi turned around.

"Where are you going?"

I turned to look at her and motioned with my hand to make it look like I was jacking off and then I threw my hand in the air.

"Suck on this!"

"Did you just jack off at me?" Yoruichi looked pissed.

"Yup, and I came all over your face!"

Yoruichi's face was agape.

I put my shades on and turned my back to her waving my hand. "So long gay girl."

Soi Fon's Apartment

11:14 AM

I inhaled deeply. I think I smell Febreeze? That's right I'm on the carpet. I was face down, so I lifted my head. Blinking a couple of times I looked around. I was in my apartment. I guess I made it home from my binge last night. I had a blanket on. I guess Yoruichi must have put it over me. Then there was heavy pounding on the door.

My head throbbed, the noise made it hurt. Who was here this early anyway? I wasn't expecting anybody. I heard Yoruichi come out of her room and answer the door. The voice sounded familiar. I managed to pull myself up and went to the door. It was Ichigo!

"Hi there Soi Fon, good morning!"

His greeting was startling and simply grunted in response. He gave me a strange look and turned his attention back to Yoruichi.

"So yeah Urahara was the one that told me about your award, word travels fast you know."

"Well thank you for coming to congratulate me." Yoruichi said humbly.

"But that's not all I came here for." Ichigo chimed holding up a finger.

He pulled out what looked like tickets out of his back pocket.

"Urahara and I thought it would be fun for us to celebrate your accomplishment with a trip to San Diego California. Urahara is coming, so am I, Rukia, Byakuya, and Soi Fon of course."

"Oh my that's so nice of you." Yoruichi exclaimed

"Will there be rum?" I asked.

"Of course." Ichigo confirmed.

I smiled. "So when do we leave?"

I shoot the lights out,

Hide till it's bright out

Whoa just another lonely night

Are you willing to sacrifice your life?

Bitch I'm a monster no good blood sucker

Fat mother fucker now look who's in trouble

As you run through my jungle all you hear is rumbles

Kanye West sample, here's one for example

Gossip gossip

Niggas just stop it

Everybody know I'm a mother fuckin monster

Ima need to see your fuckin hands and the concert

Ima need to see your fuckin hands at the concert

Profit profit nigga I got it

Ima need to see your fuckin hands at the concert

Ima need to see your fuckin hands