Soi Fon's Apartment

9:17 AM

I was tired and hung over as usual. It wasn't like me to be up this early but we were leaving for the trip to San Diego at 11:00. I was busy putting a few clothes in my bag I really didn't need that much it was only going to be a two day trip. I needed a little pick me up so I took out my little bag and sprinkled some coke on the back of my hand. I put it up to my nose and inhaled hard. I felt it hit me immediately. Man that's the stuff.

Yoruichi popped her head in my room. "You ready?"

I zipped my bag shut. "Yeah I'm ready."

We picked up our bags and headed out the door. The gate would be opening soon and it would be bad if we were late. We walked steadily to main gate of the soul society. As we approached I saw a few soul reapers including Omaeda waiting for us.

"Hey captain, I hope you have a good trip, I'm going to miss you!" Omaeda said in a deep voice.

I glared at him. "False I will not miss you, you are fat and dumb."

Omaeda smiled. "Man I just love your sense of humor!"

"Incorrect, that was not a joke I actually think you are an asshole."

"Ah captain I just love you!" Omaeda said happily.

What an idiot. It was almost impossible to insult him.

Almost as if on cue the gate appeared and started to open.

"Here we go." Yoruichi announced.

"Yippee." I muttered and we walked through the gate.

And just like that we were in Urahara's shop within seconds. Urahara, Ichigo, Rukia, and Byakuya were all waiting for us. Urahara seemed ecstatic to see us.

"Hello, hello glad you made it in time! Glad to see you Yoruichi!" He reached over and hugged Youichi and then pulled away.

"Good to see you Soi Fon!"

I disgracefully spit my chewing tobacco on the shiny wood floor. "Good to see you to fuck face."

Urahara smiled uneasily. "Ok well then shall we get our bags in the car and head for Tokyo Airport?"

Everyone agreed and we started to pack the car. I spit into my chewing tobacco cup.

"Hey what's that stuff?" Ichigo asked.

"Chewing tobacco, have some." Ichigo opened his mouth and I put some in the side of his cheek."

"Would you stop ruining him." Rukia spoke up.

"Like you don't do sketchy shit princess?" Rukia gulped and quickly turned away.

Byakuya looked confused but said nothing. We finished packing the car and then we all hoped in and started the drive to Tokyo.

15 minutes into the drive Ichigo was reading aloud a pamphlet he had gotten about San Diego.

"So there's this place called "Old Town" all about Mexican heritage in San Diego because I guess San Diego used to be part of Mexico." Ichigo said aloud.

"That sounds like something fun to visit." Rukia chimed in.

"I wouldn't mind spending some time there." Byakuya agreed.

"It's too bad San Diego still isn't part of Mexico." I said.

"Why's that?" Byakuya asked."

"Because they do crazy shit down there. For example did you know the have shows where girls can shoot ping pong balls out of their pussies."

"How is that even possible?" Ichigo asked.

"Honestly I don't know. I tried to do it once and I lost the ball up there for like a week and when it finally came out I thought I was laying an egg."

Ichigo thought for a minute. "What else can they do?"

"Well I've heard they can also open a beer bottle with a pussy."

"Have you tired that one?"

"No I haven't but I can try right now if you want."

Ichigo began to look through the bag of drinks that they had brought for the drive. I was sitting in the back next to Byakuya and I started to undo my belt.

What the hell are you doing?" Byakuya yelled.

"I'm serving drinks with my pussy." I answered

Yoruichi flipped around from her seat in the front with Urahara. "Hey we're not going to be shoving anything up our vaginas or assholes knock it the fuck off!"

"Cunt shitter!" I yelled back

We arrived at the airport after and hour and a half. We paid for parking and unloaded our bags and started to go through security. We were in line and I felt the balloon of coke in my pocket and I knew I had to do something with it. So I pulled Rukia to the side.

"What is it?" Rukia asked.

I took out the balloon. "I'm going to need you to shove this up your asshole."

Rukia looked at the balloon and then at me.

"Forget it asshole, just throw it away."

"I thought you might say that, and this is what I have to say. If you don't do this I'm going to let your precious brother know that you do ecstasy on the weekends.

Rukia stared at me. "You wouldn't."

"I would, now shove it please." I held out the balloon.

She took it from my hand and walked to the side of the line. Reaching down behind her jeans she seem to be shoving the balloon up her ass. When she was done she awkwardly walked back to her place in the line.

"You know what I like about you Rukia you're a real team player." I smiled.

"I hope someone fucks you in the face." She shot back.

We luckily made it through security with no problems. Rukia continued to walk awkwardly with the balloon up her ass. We made our way to the American Airlines terminal and waited for the flight to board. I went to a little store and bought a water sitting back down I opened a medication bottle and took out a few perkaset. I washed them back with the water. Hopefully I would feel it soon.

"Now boarding flight 477 to San Diego."

We all got up and got in line. Handing over our tickets we boarded the plane. Here we go!

Diamonds all on my ring nigga

Gold watches, gold chain nigga

Hundred thousand champagne nigga

Yeah my money insane nigga

Yeah I'm makin it rain nigga

But I was just on the plane nigga

Buying gear, flying here

Fuck what you heard it my time of year

If Im in the club I get one hundred stacks

I'm rolling so I get love for that

Them niggas stole my swag but I don't want it back

My nigga uh! I was on this but now I'm onto that

You see it in my closet before it's on the rack

Was out there in Hawaii, now Im goin back

My nigga uh! I got so much money I should start a bank

So much paper right in front of me it's hard to think

Buy so may bottles it's gonna be hard to drink

But I'm still pourin up and my family here and they rollin

up so uh!