Foreword:

This is the only chapter in the whole story that happens from Nayeli's viewpoint, which makes it, as my sister would say, the 'slap-pot.' For those who don't understand what that inside joke means (AKA: everyone XP), this chapter is all romance and no action. That's right— no fights, no bad guys, no ultraviolet heat rays... but darned if it doesn't make me melt into a pile of goo anyway. :3 FYI: the name 'Nayeli' means 'I love you,' and believe it or not, I actually didn't know that when I picked it for her. ^-^

"I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him."

— Song of Songs 3:2

« ... »

It had been twenty months now since Kaden had left to begin his training. That meant there were only four months left. Four months... Only four months... It still felt like an eternity away.

Nayeli tried to keep her head up as she walked somberly through the busy streets of the Lumos settlement, imagining she was on Fastoon, where the buildings were taller and the streets even busier. She had been born and raised on that planet, but Kaden had grown up here. How ironic that their positions were now completely reversed. She wondered what Kaden's reaction had been like when he'd first arrived there. An engineer like him must have been enraptured at finding himself in the hub of Lombax technology and architecture. She wondered if he even missed home. No doubt he was much better suited to the pace of life in the big city.

If only she could have gone there with him. She would have gladly returned to her roots if it meant staying by his side... but he was living inside the Center, where she wasn't allowed to set foot. Even if she'd followed him to Fastoon, she would scarcely have been able to see him any more than she was seeing him now.

Over the past few months their holo-net contact had diminished until she scarcely heard from him anymore, and she could tell it was because the training schedule was getting more and more restrictive on his time. When they'd last spoken two weeks ago she had, with a heavy heart, told him not to bother calling her again until his training was complete. Kaden's resulting expression looked sad, and... shocked. "O-Okay..." he'd responded sadly. It was the last time Nayeli had heard his voice.

A deep, dejected sigh escaped her throat against her will, and she stopped in her tracks to stare up at the sky. All she could think was that her husband was out there somewhere, working hard, chasing his dream. A while back she had gotten in the habit of pondering nervously over what he would be like when he came home. Two years in a new environment tackling such an important undertaking were bound to change him, right? Yet, whenever she spoke to him, he was the same Kaden he always had been. He still smiled. He still laughed... He still enjoyed babbling a mile a minute about the technical details of his studies, even though it was obvious Nayeli didn't understand a word of it. It always eased her nerves to know that he was still the same kind, fun-loving guy she'd married.

Nayeli stood there staring at the sky until she forgot where she was. It wasn't until a familiar voice called out her name that she snapped back to reality. Turning to the right, she noticed a face she hadn't seen in quite some time rushing toward her, pushing her way through the crowd.

"Callista?" Nayeli muttered.

The girl tackled her with a hug when she reached her.

"Nayeli, where have you been?" she exclaimed, clutching both of Nayeli's hands in her own. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

A stinging guilt suddenly washed over Nayeli. It was true. The attack on Lumos four years ago had turned her world upside-down, and a lot of the people she'd been close to had phased one-by-one out of her life. For most of her first year of marriage she was grieving the loss of her parents, and even Kaden hadn't felt close to her back then. Sensitive to her pain, he had kept himself an arms length from her—never too close for comfort, but never far away. He was her rock; she hadn't needed anyone else... Still, that was no excuse for forgetting those who had mattered to her before him.

"I, um..."

She couldn't bring herself to say any of the words burning on her tongue right now, so she just clumsily offered, "Would you—like to come over? To my house, I mean... and we can talk there."

Callista looked at her face with concerned understanding, then smiled and said, "All right."

« ... »

When they arrived at the house, Nayeli ushered her friend to the sofa and sat down beside her.

"I'm sorry I fell out of touch with you," she said, getting right down to it after the awkwardly silent walk through town to get here.

"Hey, it's okay," Callista reassured, resting a hand on Nayeli's shoulder. "I understand. After what happened, there was no way things could have stayed the same between us."

Nayeli knew Callista was trying to offer comfort, but her words failed to uplift.

"So, how have you been? Are you still married to—"

"Kaden."

"Yeah, him."

Callista seemed to stiffen when Kaden was mentioned, and Nayeli suddenly remembered what was probably the biggest reason why they had lost contact. The girl never had warmed up to Kaden, and apparently she harbored her deep-rooted distrust of his character even to this day. Nayeli tried not to let it bother her. She understood why Callista, as well as many other friends and acquaintances, had found it hard to believe that Kaden's motives for wanting to marry her were pure. After all, she had found it hard to believe herself at first.

"Yes, we're still married," she replied. "Right now he's on Fastoon, training to—"

"He's on Fastoon?" Callista interrupted. "For how long?"

"Four more months."

"What about in total?"

"Uh... Two years."

"Two ye—" Callista cut herself off, taking in a sharp, furious breath and looking away. "That jerk!"

Nayeli felt her heart sink. She should have been more careful how she presented this information. "Callista, it's not like that—"

"What, did he think you wouldn't mind being left alone for two years?"

"I told you, it's not that simple! He was—"

"Oh, come on, Nayeli, how long have I known you? You're too innocent and good-natured to see fault in anybody. You'd rather let someone walk all over you than believe something bad about them. That's why you can't even see that Kaden doesn't care about you."

Callista might as well have punched her friend in the gut. Nayeli felt an almost physical pain at hearing such harsh things said of her husband, and it was even worse in the fact that they were being said by someone she cared for a great deal, and who was speaking out of mutual consideration.

"You're wrong, Callista!" she exclaimed, closing her eyes to shut out the image of her friend's unyielding face. "Kaden isn't like that!"

"Yes he is, Nayeli!" Callista insisted, sounding pained as well as angry. "Why don't you see that? Why can't I get you to listen to me? You and I were best friends until he came along. He changed everything!"

"The raid changed everything!" Nayeli countered. She could feel hot tears boiling behind her eyes. "I lost my family, remember? I was suddenly an orphan with nowhere to go, and Kaden was there for me."

"I was there for you! I was right there, trying to keep you from making a mistake that could ruin your life!"

"Kaden did not ruin my life!"

"And yet here you are, coming apart at the seams waiting for him while he's off on some other planet. Be honest with me, Nayeli... What has he done to prove that he really, truly cares for you? When was the last time he even said 'I love you' to you?"

"I don't know!" Nayeli muttered defensively. "I don't keep track of things like that."

"He never does, does he?" said Callista. "Unbelievable... Why should you think he loves you if he never even tells you so? What reason could he possibly have for that?"

"What reason...?"

For once Callista kept silent and allowed Nayeli a long moment to think. Nayeli wanted to voice disagreement—to argue in Kaden's defense—but something about Callista's question worried her deeply. When was the last time Kaden had told her something like that? Scanning her memory, she was disturbed to realize that the only time she could tangibly remember was on the day he'd asked her to marry him.

She recalled their conversation vividly...

"Why would you do that for me?!" she'd asked.

"Because I love you" was Kaden's reply."It doesn't have to be permanent... We can break it off as soon as you're old enough to get along on your own."

At some point, she was pretty sure she had said, "I could never take advantage of you like that," and he had passionately replied, "Nayeli, I don't mind! ...I just want to protect you."

Then, a more recent memory came to her. The day Kaden had left for his training, he'd turned to her and said, "Goodbye, Nayeli. I lo—" (he stopped mid-word and swallowed) "I'll lock up on my way out." After that he gave her a reserved hug, kissed her on the cheek, and then left in a hurry. She had been puzzled by that moment ever since. It didn't make sense to her. Despite Kaden's half-hearted farewell, his reluctance to leave her radiated from him with a strength that made her want to cry... It was like the affection was there, but for some reason he was hesitant to express it.

Are you holding back, Kaden? she wondered sadly. Are you still leaving me an open door to walk away from you? Why? Why would you think—?

She gasped as a horrifying realization exploded in her mind with the memory of one more question she'd been asked a few months ago. "Would it really be so terrible for Kaden to know how much you care about him?"

Nayeli reached up and grasped at her heart, which beat furiously in her chest. Callista had said it herself just minutes ago, hadn't she? "Why should you think he loves you if he never tells you so?"

"Oh my..." she muttered, her eyes gaping at the floor. She turned to her friend and admitted in stunned disbelief, "Callista... I've never told Kaden that I love him."

"Maybe because you don't?" Callista questioned bitterly. "Wake up, Nayeli! You don't love him, and he doesn't love you. Meanwhile you're throwing away your life and all your other relationships because you're so obsessed with him."

"That's not true!" Nayeli already felt she would die of guilt, and the other girl's stubborn accusations weren't helping.

"No?!" Callista pressed. "Okay then, answer me this: if you had to choose between me and Kaden, who would you choose?"

Nayeli looked up at Callista with sharp, pained eyes and steeled her nerves, praying for courage to follow through with her resolve. "I would choose Kaden," she said in a flat, controlled voice. "Because he would never ask me such a cruel question."

Callista was shocked silent, and she stared into Nayeli's fiery eyes, mouth slightly ajar. But the hurt look on her face quickly turned into a frown, and she gritted her teeth.

"Fine, then," she seethed, standing to her feet. "If that's how it is..."

The girl stomped to the door and slammed it behind her without looking back, leaving Nayeli to break down crying on her sofa.

« « « « « ж » » » » »

The days passed dreadfully slow, despite how hard Nayeli tried not to count them. She made sincere efforts to get back in contact with some of her other old friends, but found that most of them were busy with lives and problems of their own, and she didn't want to trouble them. She also feared more reactions like Callista's to news of Kaden's absence, and she didn't think her heart could handle the strain. Thus she found that her past friendships could not be rekindled to more than casual acquaintances. Even acquaintance was better than loneliness, though, and having people to talk to helped take the edge off being by herself all the time.

Nonetheless, her heartache persisted. It wasn't the loneliness that hurt her most—it was the separation. No other companion could replace Kaden. He was her other half. It was like he was in her blood, and being apart from him was like bleeding. She didn't know if it was healthy for her to feel that way, but she did. She couldn't help it. Still, no matter how she felt, she wouldn't let herself break down. She wouldn't allow her own feelings to take priority over Kaden's. She loved him too much for that.

She loved him... and every time she admitted that to herself, guilt seized her. How could she have loved him all this time and never put it into words? How could she have been so oblivious to how her lack of confession had been affecting her husband? All this time he was keeping his distance. All throughout those first three years, quietly watching her, barely touching her. He never knew how she felt about him, so for her sake he contented himself to simply stay by her side. To be her constant companion—and nothing more.

Many sleepless nights were filled with tears and groaning as she lamented her thoughtlessness. It was maddening how a question posed to herself could be so impossible to answer. Why?

Why didn't I ever tell him? Why didn't I notice that something was wrong?

Callista was right about one thing: Nayeli was innocent to a fault, and now she was paying for that fault with her very heart.

« « « « « ж » » » » »

Finally the long-awaited day was just around the corner, and Nayeli felt all her nerves coming unraveled as it got closer and closer. On the one hand she was ecstatic, and on the other, absolutely terrified. Even though she'd known Kaden for years, in a vague sense, she felt like the day of his return would be like meeting him for the first time—the first time since realizing how much he really meant to her, and how badly she had taken their relationship for granted.

One night she made the long walk out to Kaden's old workshop, and she could immediately understand why he had never come here without his hoverboots. The walk took hours, and by the time she arrived she was out of breath and exhausted. She didn't remember it being so hard when she came here six years ago for the simple purpose of helping him work on the ship that would become Aphelion. He already had feelings for her at that time, she thought with mixed stirrings in her heart, and tried to remember how he carried himself in her presence at the tender age of sixteen... What a gentleman he was, even then.

She stumbled inside the workshop and disarmed the security system he'd set up before leaving. When the defenses lowered she wandered further inside the messy little shack with her eyes fixed on its star occupant. Since Kaden had been taken to Fastoon in a transport ship, he had left his pride and joy back home, shut down and tucked safely away. He'd made it clear that Nayeli could use her anytime—though she had never needed to. Nayeli ran her hand over Aphelion's dusty left wing, then opened up her hood and reached into the engine to flip the switch that would bring her out of sleep mode.

The ship's engine rumbled to life, and Aphelion's familiar voice spoke out, "Good morning. What is our destination today?"

"No destination today, Aphelion," Nayeli explained. "I just wanted to talk."

"Very well. Kaden said you might be waking me up while he was gone. He instructed me to make sure you were well taken care of."

"That sounds like him," Nayeli muttered with a smile.

"What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't really know," Nayeli lied. "I'm just—anxious to see Kaden again. I'm not sure what I should say to him..."

"Well, I'm certain I don't have any advice for you about something like that," Aphelion said. "However, you are reminding me of a conversation I had with Kaden a few years ago."

"Really?" Nayeli asked, her ears perking with interest.

"Yes. I believe it was the night before the two of you were married. He told me he was afraid he might be making a mistake—that you might come to hate him."

"He said that?"

"Something to that effect, yes."

Nayeli swallowed the lump forming in her throat, and after a long pause simply said, "Wow..."

"When is he due back, if you don't mind my asking?" Aphelion politely inquired.

"In a few days."

"A few days?! No wonder my engine feels rusty." Aphelion paused for a few seconds, then softly said, "It's really been two years, then? You must miss him..."

Nayeli was surprised at such an astute observation coming from a ship, of all things. Kaden really had made an incredible breakthrough with this old girl. "More than I can say, Aphelion..." she answered.

After returning the ship to sleep mode, Nayeli re-armed the security system and stepped somberly outside. She took a long look at the sun setting beautifully behind the desert horizon and wondered what time it would be when she got home. It didn't really matter, though. At least this way she would have something to do to pass the long night hours instead of laying in bed unable to sleep.

She had just taken the first few steps when she thought she sensed movement out of the corner of her eye, and turned her head for curiosity's sake. The image drifting toward her must have been a mirage, because it looked like someone walking in her direction. She raised up her hand to visor her eyes from the sun and squinted hard to get a better look. A gasp of disbelief escaped her throat as she did so. Now she knew it was a mirage.

"Hello?" she called out loudly. If she was just shouting into the breeze like a madwoman, she didn't care. She watched as the figure on the horizon looked up and raised his hand to wave at her, a warm smile painting his handsome face.

Nayeli's breath caught in her throat. "Kaden..." she muttered in barely a whisper, then called out at the top of her lungs, "Kaden!"

All the fatigue in her muscles vanished, and she flew across the desert sands like a gust of wind, repeatedly calling out her husband's name. She couldn't see his face as she approached, blinded by the wind in her eyes. Sense and reason abandoned, she threw herself at him, hearing only the sound of his voice as he gasped in surprise. Her momentum knocked him clear off his feet, and he struck the ground hard with his wife on top of him.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry..." Nayeli muttered, clinging to him like a fading dream.

"It's all right," he grunted, obviously still feeling the sting and dizziness of the blow. He wrapped his arms loosely around her and softly added, "I'm just glad I found you. I was a little worried when you weren't at the house..."

Nayeli pushed up against his chest so she could look at his face and babbled almost incoherently, "I wasn't expecting you until next week."

"Yeah, my transport was early," Kaden explained. "I forgot to call and let you know... Are you mad?"

Nayeli pressed her head once more against his chest, eyes moist with tears. Tightening her hold around his neck, she unsteadily muttered, "Why would I be mad? ...You're here."

Kaden squeezed her for a brief second, then stopped, and his arms fell away from her altogether. Nayeli felt a sharp pang of guilt as he pushed up against the ground and she was forced to let go of him so they could both sit up. On his knees, he looked into her eyes with a warm smile and tenderly stroked her cheek. "Sorry I made you wait so long."

At that the tears in Nayeli's eyes began pouring down her face, and after a few seconds' silence she faintly muttered, "Me too..."

"Huh?"

Nayeli cast down her face. She couldn't bear to look into his eyes any longer. They were too full of love and devotion and so many other things she didn't think she deserved. "You've been waiting for me, too, haven't you?" she murmured through her tears. "Ever since we got married, you've been waiting for me... and you're still waiting..."

Kaden regarded her with a puzzled expression. "Nayeli, I'm—not quite sure what you mean..."

The girl bit her trembling lower lip and forced herself to look back up at him. "Kaden, there's something I need to tell you."

Kaden reached out toward her and gently grasped her shoulders to steady her. "What is it?"

It was a long time before she could muster up her voice, and even then, she could only speak in broken fragments. "I... You see—I, um... Well—"

She resented herself more with every passing second. Why was this so difficult? What was she afraid of? The words caught in her throat even though she knew with every fiber of her being that they were true. Why couldn't she just say them?

A nervous look came over Kaden's face, and his ears began to droop. He was getting worried. "Nayeli? What's wrong?"

Indeed. What in the galaxy was wrong with her? This was ridiculous. She was talking to her husband of five years who had been gone for two of them. Something like this should be as easy as breathing—but even breathing was hard for her right now.

"I—" she said, screwing her eyes shut and swallowing all her insecurities in a single gulp. "I love you."

As the words broke surface they opened the flood gates and started pouring forth like water from a breached dam. "I love you... I love you... I love you... I'm so sorry I never told you before! The truth is, I've been in love with you ever since we were married, and I—"

Kaden moved forward with a speed that knocked the breath right out of her, and suddenly she was in his arms. She gasped, and her heart leapt into her throat.

"Don't get the wrong idea..." Kaden muttered after a sharp inhale. "I just don't want you to see me cry."

Nayeli's shocked gasp was muffled by Kaden's shirt, but her eyes would have revealed her feelings even more obviously. "Why not?" she mumbled a few seconds later. "You've seen me cry enough..."

"That's different..." Kaden insisted. "You're a girl."

She felt him reach for his face and listened to him wipe his eyes. Then he pulled back, still grasping her arms, and looked straight at her. His eyes were sparkling with joy and tears, and his smile could've melted stone. "You mean it?" he muttered in disbelief. "You're happy with me? You don't mind the—the way I am?"

"I love the way you are," Nayeli answered. "I love waking up to the sound of heavy machinery in the morning. I love helping out with your tinkering and watching you while you work. I love seeing the look on your face when you finally finish a project... You're my Kaden... I don't ever want you to stop being who you are—anymore than I want to stop belonging to you."

Kaden smiled, letting a few tears roll down his cheeks without trying to hide them. This time he didn't hold back. This time there was no hesitation, or timidness, or worry. He drew her toward himself with strength and passion, and kissed her like he meant it—like he had on their wedding day. When at last he pulled away and drew her again into a tight hug, Nayeli thought she might faint. She melted in the warmth of his embrace, helpless to move and breathless to speak. To think that this was what he'd bottled up all these years. She felt his right hand slip up her back and come to rest on her head. He tightened his grip all around her and held her against his chest, nuzzling her affectionately so that his breath tickled her ears. With tears streaming from her eyes, Nayeli pressed her face against Kaden's heart and felt its strong, steady beat against her cheek.

In that moment her own heart healed. Her other half was restored to her at last, and she was whole. She breathed in his scent and relaxed in his arms, remembering all the reasons why she loved him. Her only regret was waiting so long to let him know. Thankfully, she had the rest of her life to make up for it.

"I love you," she whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

"I love you too, Nayeli," Kaden replied tearfully.

How long they were there like that, Nayeli couldn't say, but it came to its untimely end when an unwelcome beeping cut through the beautiful silence.

"Aw, shoot! I forgot I was wearing this thing..." Kaden said, releasing Nayeli and looking at the device strapped to his wrist. He punched a button on it and snapped impatiently, "I'm busy! What do you want?"

"Kaden!" Nayeli sharply reprimanded.

"What? It's Alister."

Nayeli rolled her eyes and smiled.

"That's okay, Nayeli," said Alister through the small speaker on Kaden's wrist, jokingly adding, "He just got court-martialed, but it's okay... Anyway, I'm sure you two have plans, so I won't keep you. I just had to call because it happens to be my most solemn duty to announce the identity of the new Keeper."

Kaden froze, all the humor, annoyance, and emotion of any kind draining right out of his face along with all the blood. "No way..." he muttered in disbelief.

"Yes way..." Alister countered, his tone proud. "Congratulations, Pal. I knew you had it in you. Over and out."

The signal went quiet, and Kaden and Nayeli were left sitting there in silent shock. Nayeli had heard enough about the training program in her past holo-net meetings with Kaden to understand the profound implication of that deceptively short exchange.

"Oh, wow..." she muttered at length. "Kaden, this is incredible! It's like—certification that you're the best engineer alive."

"Yeah, I know," Kaden murmured, his face stretched into an ecstatic grin. All of a sudden, however, his smile disappeared and he turned to look at Nayeli instead with a worried expression.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

Kaden swallowed and muttered shamefully, "The Keeper has to live on Fastoon..."

"Oh."

"But I don't have to accept the position!" he said in haste. "Any of the others would be happy to have it, and the rest of the team can live wherever they want."

"Why would you need to do that?" Nayeli asked with a smile. "There's no problem. We'll just move to Fastoon."

Kaden raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You'd be okay with that?"

"Absolutely."

"But Nayeli, I—thought you liked it here."

"I do like it here..." She reached out and caressed the side of his face, tenderly adding, "But I like it better where you are."

The gratitude in Kaden's eyes right then was worth a thousand 'I love you's. Taking her hands in his own, he joyously said, "Nayeli... you're the best!"

Author's Notes:

Surprise, surprise, this chapter has a lot of theme songs. XP

- "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton— This song was actually the original inspiration for this chapter (and its title), so of course I had to mention it.

- "Blue Sweater" by Poema— Would you believe that my mom knows Poema's dad and that I heard them sing this song at the release party for their first CD? XD Anyway, I think the song captures Nayeli's struggle with missing Kaden in a very beautiful way. I also think it's cool that this song also makes mention of 'a thousand miles.' ^-^

- "Far Away" by Nickelback— And this song is Kaden's side. The emotion it conveys is so strong and powerful... I had it on endless repeat when I was working on the 'I love you' scene. X3

- "I'm Taking You With Me" by Relient K— This one only applies to the very end there, but it's a sweet connection, nonetheless. :)