A/N: SVM is owned by Charlaine Harris. My busy, brainy, and benevolent beta is FiniteAnarchy. May the power chords of a thousand heavy metal guitarists resound in praise of her goodness.

I don't know what to say about the posting schedule, except that I'm sorry I'm having so much trouble sticking to it. This is ready, so I won't make you wait another two days. :/

Thank you for your continued readership, and taking the time to leave reviews, or make the story a favorite, or otherwise put me, or it on alert. All these things make me happy.

The deadline for Random-Fandom's Halloween Monster Mashup contest is coming up soon! Also, there's a holiday fic exchange which people should sign up for. It sounds like fun!

Chapter 27 – The Wing of Friendship Never Moults a Vampire

I was genuinely happy to see Diantha, but I'd have been even happier to see her in say, an hour.

For a moment, Eric looked genuinely startled. I realized that he'd been as distracted, and therefore surprised by her sudden appearance as I was. I doubted it was very often that he got sneaked up on. I pressed my hands to his chest and he let me push him back a couple of paces, giving me room to hop down from the counter.

"Hey Diantha," I said.

"Youshouldreallylockyourdoor."

"You're right," I agreed. Though woe betide anyone who comes looking for trouble in a house with Eric inside. When did I get so blasé about that sort of thing? I used the excuse of hugging Diantha hello to step away from Eric. Peeking back at him I saw that his demeanor was once again unruffled.

"Good evening, Diantha," he said.

"HiSheriff. Nicetoseeya."

It was obvious that either was waiting politely for the other to excuse themselves. The vaguely expectant glances they were shooting me said it all.

"Excuse us for a moment," Eric finally said.

I realized I should have spoken sooner. Diantha looked to me, because this was my house. I turned to her with an apologetic smile and asked, "Could you please give us a minute to say goodnight?"

I did feel bad asking her to step out of the room. I know the general rule in this type of scenario is "sisters before misters," but as I'd never had a mister to choose before, it gave me a little thrill to be able to do so. Diantha nodded and left. I heard her moving around in the living room, and then the sound of the television.

"Why is the demon sending his niece to you?"

I cocked my head at him. "I'm not sure. Would you like to wait, while I go find out?"

"No. I can't stay," he said, though I couldn't help but notice that he wasn't exactly making the motions to sprint out the door. "I just wanted to let you know that there would be strangers in town, since it may concern you."

"Well, now I know. Thank you." I frowned, reaching for something else to say to him. "I saw Louis and Octavia again yesterday. They expressed a willingness to be called on again, if there's ever a need."

"They safeguarded your grandmother's house?"

"And my brother's too, which, since I'm not allowed to see any of them for a while, gives me a bit of peace of mind."

"Why are you not allowed to see them?"

"My brother and cousin had some experiences this week that they're safer not remembering. Niall's magic isn't like your glamour. It doesn't leave the same holes in their minds, but it..." I trailed off. All I had in my mind were cooking metaphors, like a Jell-O mold that had to set, or a souffle that had to rise, undisturbed, or else they would be completely ruined. I didn't think Eric would really understand those. "They just need to not be reminded of the things they're supposed to forget for a while, or the spell will be ineffective."

"That is interesting," he said.

"It kind of is," I agreed. "I have to wonder if that's not where a lot of the fairy stories come from, and the dreamlike qualities attributed to so many of them."

"In my experience, interaction with fairies would be more the stuff of human nightmares, than their dreams."

"I'm sure you could also say the same of vampires," I said fairly, but it earned me a sharp look.

"Without a doubt."

A quick subject change was probably in order, so I just drew something at random.

"How is your eyesight?" He cocked an eyebrow, as if he found the question strange. Maybe he was annoyed to find me calling attention to his moment of weakness. Hastily, I added, "I mean there haven't been any adverse effects of Octavia's spell, or anything like that?"

"None. As I said at the time, I think I may even be better than I was."

He glanced around the kitchen, looking at various items. He paused on something and I turned to see it was the clock on the microwave.

"I need to see Pam before we meet the Weres." He took a few steps towards the front hall and then turned when I didn't move to follow him. I remembered my manners and walked him out.

"Happy hunting," I said, without much enthusiasm as I got the door for him. He didn't seem to notice.

"I will try to check in on you in a night or two, or if it is safe, I will send Pam."

"Thanks. That's very dutiful of you."

He nodded without arguing my choice of words. I did get a lingering kiss goodbye before he left. After closing (and locking) the front door, I wandered into the living room and threw myself down in the chair. Diantha was stretched out on my couch with her boots propped up on my coffee table. They were knee-high and candy apple red. I hoped she didn't have to lace them all the way up every time she wore them. That would take ages.

Diantha was watching a rerun of The Worst Dressed Vampire, which I'd already seen. We sat in silence as Bev Leveto plundered the fashion victim's closet. She pulled out a vintage sunbathing costume and shot the camera a sardonic look before it cut to a commercial, and Diantha pushed the mute button.

"Isheyourboyfriendnow?"

It was an oddly juvenile question. Despite the fact that she dresses like a teenager, Diantha is a fully grown woman. She might even be older than I am; I've never thought to ask. It could be that because she's going to live so much longer than a normal human, she's just choosing to enjoy a sort of prolonged adolescence, or maybe this is just her personal style. What I really think though, is that it's camouflage. Her wild appearance doesn't just distract from the fact that body isn't exactly right for a human. Seeming like a punk kid probably puts people off their guards. They probably don't think about the fact that she can rip them apart and set the pieces on fire. I realized I was staring hard at her when I noticed she was staring right back.

"No, he isn't," I answered.

"Something'sgoingonthough," she argued. I couldn't really deny it. She'd walked right in on a something going on that might have gone a little further if not for her interruption.

"I don't really know what. I like him better than I ever thought I would," I admitted.

"Be careful," she said, taking heed to make the warning clear.

"Is there something I need to know?" I sighed.

"Nothing you don't know already." Her seriousness was starting to unnerve me. Of course I knew what she meant, but that didn't mean I enjoyed being reminded of it.

"Wait here a minute," I said, and I went to retrieve her belated Christmas gift. I hoped would prove a marvelous diversion from the topic of all the reasons why Eric and I are incompatible and carrying on with him is generally a bad idea.

She liked her necklace, and had me help put it on her. I hoped it was something she'd actually wear. Even if it wasn't, she was gracious about it. She offered to carry Gladiola's back to New Orleans, and that was disappointing. It meant Gladiola wouldn't be visiting any time soon.

"What's keeping her busy?" I asked.

"Youstartedit."

"I started what?"

"She'sinourotherplace."

I took that to mean that she was in Hell. I couldn't help but grinning. I know it's a totally immature response.

"What's she doing there?"

"Gettingahusband."

"Really? That's exciting."

"Yup."

By the look on her face, Diantha didn't find it very exciting at all.

"Will she be back? After she, uh, finds a man?"

"Depends."

"On?" I prompted.

Diantha rolled her eyes as if I were the stupidest woman she'd ever spoken to. "On whether or not he can pass for human. If he can't, they'll stay there.

"That makes sense, I guess. Why'd she decide to get a husband now? New Year's Resolution?"

"She's been thinking of it since Glassport said he was dating her. She wants it to be true. Not with him, though."

"So she just goes off to find a man?"

"Guessso."

We fell into silence with our own thoughts for a moment, Diantha playing with her new necklace and me sitting back on my chair. I could tell the demon girl – woman – was sad about her sister's decision and absence. They were thick as thieves, and I was sure they'd miss each other. I had difficulty deciding what I could say to comfort her. The majority of supes don't mate for life. They've all got their customs, and they're very little like what humans would think of as a marriage.

Vampire marriages tend to be reserved for business or political purposes, and the spouses aren't even obligated to like each other, let alone love and cherish. For shifters, there are just too many mating obligations to really count on monogamy. A fertile woman is often expected to bear the children of multiple men. It's no wonder you get lone wolves. I could understand Tray marrying a human woman rather than get mixed up in that entanglement.

If fairies mate with humans, they tend to take off once those humans are no longer beautiful. Sad, but true. They don't marry each other often at all. Fairies do enjoy making love, either as a show of affection, or just because it feels good, but they're not all that concerned with staking a claim on their sexual partners. If a coupling results in children, the two fairies become more like partners in parenthood, rather than loving spouses. They do use the terms sometimes, but as near as I can tell, when a fairy says "wife," he means something more like "baby-momma."

Apparently demons are different. When I'd asked Mintah if he had children, he'd spoken of not having a wife. I knew Mr. Cataliades had been married, once upon a time, but his wife had died during childbirth. I understood that it was a painful subject with him, and didn't ever bring it up. Odd as it sounds, I suppose that demon marriages are the most traditional, at least by human standards. I felt the weight of Gladiola's decision all the more. If she found a husband who didn't want to live in this world, then she'd be staying in the other, forever. She'd be happy, and presumably loved, but she'd be gone.

"I'm sure she'll find someone who's willing to live here," I tried to assure Diantha.

She shrugged both shoulders, and I decided to leave it alone for now. I wondered if this was why she came by, just for some company and a little commiserating. I couldn't quite feel happy that she was upset, but it did give me a warm feeling to think that she came to me while she was feeling blue. It made me feel like a friend.

"You want some cocoa?" I asked her.

"Gotmarshmallows?"

"I do."

I left to make beverages for both of us, and heard the volume of the television come back up. Worst Dressed Vamp was long over by the time we finished talking, but it sounded like she'd found something else. I came back just as a commercial break was ending.

"What's this one?" I asked as I handed over her mug. She gestured at the television and I turned just as the title screen came up. "Who Wants to Live Forever?" Oh, surely not!

I stood there gaping at the screen as the host started talking. It was like The Bachelor, with a vamp, and fangbangers. Only instead of getting married, the "winner" of the show was turned into a vampire. Diantha started cackling as she looked between the screen, and my expression of horror. How is this even legal?

"They don't actually...?"

But they did, she explained. They don't actually show the winner getting turned, but they do a followup show after he or she has been a vampire for a couple of months at the end of the season. How did something like this even get on the air? I bet the studio was picketed daily. I watched for the program in varying states of shock and disgust as the eight men and women competed for the honor of becoming Miranda's vampire child. Diantha snickered the whole time. When Mike, a sales clerk from the goth store at a mall, got eliminated at the end, I couldn't help but feel that he was the lucky one. As the credits rolled beside Mike's final interview (he had teared up and his eyeliner was running), I snatched the remote away and shut the television off. I set my cold cocoa down on the table. I hadn't taken so much as a sip.

"That was..."

"Funny?" Diantha supplied.

"Awful," I said. "I can't believe that even exists."

"Butyou'redatingavamp," she argued.

"We haven't gone on any actual dates, first of all, so technically no, I'm not, and even if I were, I certainly don't want him to turn me!"

"Mightnotgetachoice."

I scoffed. "He'd be sorry if he did, by God."

There wasn't much to my hypothetical threat. If I was turned, I wouldn't be in a position to do anything about it. Niall would certainly have something to say though. Probably Mr. C, too, though unlike my great grandfather, I didn't think that he would actually kill Eric for it. I stewed for a moment before I glanced at the clock. It wasn't late, but I didn't know how long I'd be entertaining my unexpected guest.

"Are you staying in Shreveport tonight?"

"Afewdays."

Was she here to spy on the Arkansas vampires? I went ahead and asked.

"Sorta. Meetingsomepeoplelater."

"Anyone I know?"

"Notyet." She was eying me speculatively, and I could tell she was trying to decide how much of her purpose to tell me.

"Are you staying here? Should I put fresh sheets on the bed in the guest room?"

"Can't," she replied, with a little sigh.

"Where are you staying then?"

"Casino." Which meant it was some matter of business.

Knowing who she worked for, I didn't ask anything else. Instead, I found a nice movie for us to watch, where no one became undead at the end, and no sisters ran off to elope in Hell. We chatted a little more, but by the time the movie ended, I wanted to get ready for bed, and she had to go check in to her hotel. When she said Casino, I naturally assumed she meant the one that was vampire-owned. They wouldn't bat an eye at a late evening check-in.

After she'd left, I took a nice long bath, pampering myself utterly. Once my hair was dry, I pulled out Niall's Christmas gift, and proceeded to brush my hair – a hundred strokes. I got into my nightgown, which was long and white with a little bit of lace across the bust. I couldn't explain why I went to all the trouble. It's just nice to feel pretty just for yourself every once in a while.

Tray was on duty when I arrived at Splendide the following morning. He held the door open for me, but he kept his eyes averted, and didn't return my greeting of, "Good morning." My smile faltered as I gave a little sigh, but I straightened it out and said hello to Holly, and waved into Brenda's office. She was on the phone.

My morning seemed to drag. No matter how many things I got done, the clock just didn't budge. I gave an internal whoop when it finally reached an appropriate hour to go to lunch. When I emerged from the stairs, I was pleasantly surprised to see Ghellert standing there. Without even thinking about it, I launched myself at him and hugged.

"I thought you'd gone home!" I exclaimed with a big smile. He didn't return the hug, or my smile, but at least he wasn't scowling in my general direction like some security guards. I stepped back quickly just the same.

"Not yet."

"Did you have a good vacation?" I asked pleasantly. "Happy New Year, by the way."

"I was with my brothers. It was nice to rest."

Polite conversation would have dictated that he then ask after my vacation, but since he'd never been particularly talkative, I didn't hold it against him. I excused myself and went out to my car. On a nicer day I would have walked, but it really was too chilly, especially in the wind. Stopped at a traffic light, I saw a piece of newspaper tumble past, and with a particularly sharp gust, I actually felt the car rock. Another storm was blowing in. It was going to be a nasty night.

I enjoyed a hot roast beef sandwich, a plate of fries, and some coleslaw before returning to work. Ghellert had taken up a post in the empty hallway between the lab and the vault. I found his presence reassuring, and hoped he stayed close while the vamps were here this evening.

Late in the afternoon, Wilson Bellows came down the freight elevator with something very large on a dolly. I held the door while he wheeled in the foam covered treasure. Our new procedures require a very thorough examination of everything going into the vault, so he and I got to work. This was a George III secretaire made of tulipwood. In and of itself, the desk was lovely, but what made it special was the fact that it was made in England with lumber from the Colonies, and then shipped back here, very shortly before the Revolutionary War broke out. To say that trade relations were a bit shaky during that time period would be an understatement.

Wilson had driven clear across to Savannah, Georgia to retrieve this desk, and I knew that Brenda would be thrilled. I found the original shipping receipt, faded and framed, in one of the wider drawers.

After a couple hours' examination, I was pretty confident that nothing supernatural had so much as sneezed on the desk. Wilson took dozens of pictures which Brenda would be able to provide to potential buyers upon request, and then I helped him repack the antique for storage.

Ghellert ignored our struggle out in the hallway. His eyes were fixed immovably on the door leading upstairs. I let my mind stretch for a moment as I confirmed what had him so vigilant. There were three vampires upstairs. I hurried to help get the desk into a secure corner of the vault. As Wilson wheeled the empty dolly onto the elevator, Ghellert stepped in beside him. He jerked his head toward the lab just as the doors closed, and I didn't hesitate to scurry away and lock myself inside.

It was the combination of many things that had me so jittery. I wasn't thrilled to be left alone down here, but I appreciated the fact that Ghellert was escorting Wilson safely past the visitors. Eric's warning and Diantha's unexplained presence in Shreveport had me on edge. If these vamps were here to investigate the disappearance of Waldo, I was exactly who they were looking for. Did they know that? To top it all off, I'd used the brush last night, and now I had fairy hair! It was probably like vampire catnip.

The tapping at the window caused me to spin abruptly on my heel, but it was only Ghellert. I unlocked the door and stood back so he could enter. He did, but remained standing where he had a view of the hallway.

"There are three of them, and one outside. The one outside is employed here. The woman."

"Thalia," I said helpfully.

"Yes. That one. You are making a lot of noise, it is difficult to hear."

I didn't think I was making that much noise. I was only pacing. I sat on my stool and tried to keep still.

"You can hear them all the way upstairs?"

"When you are quiet."

That was amazing to me, but I wasn't going to pester him right now. I reached for Brenda's mind, which I rarely do intentionally. I wanted to be sure she was alright. She was up there alone with them. That didn't seem very wise.

"Shouldn't you be up there with her?"

"She is safe. They would be fools to make trouble here."

"If that's really true, why are you so nervous?"

"You are the nervous one. I am alert."

Very unhelpfully, Brenda wasn't thinking about whatever they had brought in. She was thinking of ways to convince them to try to sell it, and a long list of people that she believed would jump at the chance to try to buy it. Since her inner monologue wasn't much help, I tried to hone in on the portion of her thoughts focused on the conversation she was having.

"That's a matter you'd have to take up with our Queen. I'm afraid we're not at liberty to do anything more than have the piece authenticated and appraised."

"I understand. As I discussed with your liaison, there is a fee for the service, and I'll need one of you to sign our release. Our appraiser is on site this evening, but it is a necessary formality when we take possession of an item, even if it's just to carry it downstairs."

Brenda was disappointed, but determined to maintain the face of the genial businesswoman she was. She was feeling a little nervous too, and I heard her excuse herself, while the vamps were filling out paperwork, and then sensed her moving toward the front entrance.

Better than nothing, at least she's one of ours.

She'd summoned Thalia inside. The vampire Brenda kept thinking of as "the big one," was freaking her out. I whispered the play by play to Ghellert, who nodded as if I was confirming what he already knew.

"Perfect," Brenda said. She noted the dollar amount on the check and was pleased. "If you all will wait here, I'll just take this downstairs." The storage case was unwieldy and Brenda was considering how best to lift and carry it without looking like she was struggling. Suddenly it was pulled away from her.

"I'm afraid we have orders not to let the staff out of our sight. One of us will accompany you."

"Oh no," Brenda said. "That's not possible. We have strict security procedures in place, and the lab area is only accessible by our staff. I assure you, the entire building is monitored by security cameras. We will never be out of sight."

"We have procedure: follow order of our Queen." That was the big one. His English was not so good.

I felt Brenda quail under the gaze of the large vampire. She was smart enough to keep her eyes averted, but I didn't know how long she'd hold out.

"I'm sorry, but as the manager of this facility, I really cannot make exceptions."

"Ms. Hesterman..." Their back and forth continued.

"They're going to glamour her and come down here," I said darkly, looking at Ghellert. "We have to go up there."

"I will go up."

"Wait," I said, and I sprinted to one of the cabinets and grabbed a pair of dark tinted goggles. I thrust them at Ghellert.

"What is this?"

"They're to protect my eyes when I have to use certain UV lights. They'll let you watch them but keep from getting glamoured. Put them on."

Accepting my reasonable explanation, he did as I instructed and then flew out the doors. I like a man who'll follow instructions.

Once I had a second to think, a couple of things occurred to me. These vampires weren't from Arkansas at all, but from New Orleans. That explained why Diantha was in town. She was a messenger for the Queen and these vampires worked for the Queen. She hadn't told me her business, and now I reasoned that was because Eric wasn't meant to know. It bugged me a little that she didn't feel she could trust me not to tell Eric, but at the same time I was thankful that she hadn't put me in that position. Stupid vampires, always sneaking around and spying on each other.

The group upstairs had been seen by Thalia, so the jig was up. I called Eric. He didn't answer, so I left him a voicemail.

Brenda was very, very tense, and Ghellert was completely locked down, unreadable. I took a deep breath. The Queen of Louisiana was a valuable client. We are in a business where exceptions and accommodations are made for valuable clients. Brenda is starting to get belligerent and that has to look suspicious. The plan is, and has always been, that I hide in plain sight. Right now, I'm not hiding in plain sight.

I went upstairs. Thalia was hovering at the entrance to the parlor, a position that gave her a view of the hallway where I emerged, the front doors, and the standoff in the sitting room. She gave me an imperceptible nod when I approached. I took it for approval. I held on to that, because I got no approval whatsoever from Brenda and Ghellert when they realized I was there.

The five of them went silent when I entered the room. The three visiting vampires were incredibly still, as only vampires can be.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," I said. "But I was wondering what's the hold up? I don't mean to sound rude, but I'd like to get home some time tonight."

I smiled. It was my nervous smile, but I knew it was still pretty, if a little too wide.

"And you are?" the female vampire asked.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Sookie Stackhouse. I'm the appraiser."

"My name is Valentine."

She had long brown hair, a body that could fairly be called voluptuous, and a heart shaped face with big doe eyes. Her name suited her.

"And these," she continued, when I returned her nod, "are Sigebert," she gestured to the large vampire, and then to the handsome dark-haired one, "and William Compton."

"Pleased to meet you," I murmured. Sigebert was leering.

Brenda had collected herself a little. "I was trying to explain to our guests that their relic will be absolutely secure in our laboratory, but that we cannot allow non-personnel to be admitted while you do your work."

"And we," cut in William Compton, "were explaining that we have strict orders not to let the staff out of our sight. We are aware that this facility has recently suffered a security breach, and while it is our Queen's prerogative to continue giving Splendide her patronage, she is unwilling to take any chances."

Brenda huffed out a sigh. She'd taken the robbery incredibly personally. Before she could offer further rebuttal, I jumped in.

"May I offer a suggestion?"

No one answered, but everyone was looking at me. After a beat of silence, Sigebert smirked. It was hideous.

"Perhaps Ms. Hesterman would be willing to make an exception for the Queen's representatives. If two of our guests will exit the premises, one can accompany us, along with both of our guards, to the secure area?"

Brenda glared at me, but I could see that she liked the idea of getting at least two of the visiting vamps out of the building, and giving us the advantage of numbers. She was still very tightly wound, and expecting violence to break out at any moment.

The vampires shared an exchange of glances. I assumed they'd choose Sigebert to accompany us downstairs, since I judged him to be the strongest. Physically he was the most formidable and I guessed he was also the oldest, but it was William who spoke.

"We're amenable to that. We have other duties to attend to tonight as well, and would like to move this process along." I wanted to roll my eyes at his sneering tone, but I managed not to.

"That's acceptable," Brenda said stiffly.

In short order, Thalia was showing Valentine and Sigebert the door while Ghellert, Brenda, William, and I went downstairs. Ghellert still had the UV goggles on. He looked a little like Corey Hart, wearing his sunglasses at night.

I gestured to the work bench once we were downstairs and Compton put the case down and opened it.

"So, what have you got for me?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful as Thalia slipped inside. Brenda had been hovering by the door, but once Thalia entered, she moved away to a far corner. Ghellert was standing about three paces behind me.

I stopped being terrified of the vampire when I looked in the box, and started being terrified for a whole other reason.

"Jesus Christ," I breathed. "Is this was I think it is?"

"Isn't it your job to tell me that?" the vampire replied.

Cushioned in the satin-lined case was a rod about three feet long, topped with a very large pine cone. There were long, leathery tines attached just below the cone. The edges were ragged where I assumed they had brushed along the ground as the staff was carried. They weren't actually leather. If this was indeed authentic, they were intestines.

The thing was shaped more or less like a mace, but while getting walloped with a giant pine cone may sting a bit, this wasn't a weapon. It's a symbol and a vessel. Actually, more than a mace, it kind of resembles an oversized honey dipper, which makes sense, since that was one of its uses. Mostly it was a token of office. Once, it would have had ritual purposes, but it's been a mighty long time since the last proper bacchanalia. I retrieved a pair of gloves.

"It's a thrysus. Where on earth did you come across a sadyr?"

"Not a sadyr."

"No!" I could hear disbelief and denial in my voice.

"No?" he inquired.

"This belongs to a maenad?"

"It belongs to the Queen of Louisiana," he said nastily.

"My apologies," I said quickly. "It belonged to a maenad?"

"That is what we are here to confirm."

"You don't think maybe she'll want it back?" I asked.

"She is dead."

"Uh-huh."

There aren't, and never were, a lot of maenads. The ones who are still around are thousands of years old and practically immortal. That's true immortal, in the sense of the gods themselves, not vampire-immortal, where they just won't die provided no one kills them. The effort required to subdue or even truly injure a maenad would be enormous. As far as I'm aware, it's been hundreds of years since one has died. If it happened again recently, people would have heard about it.

"Are you calling a king a liar?" the vampire asked. He had a dry, flat tone. Was he baiting me?

"What?"

"The King of Arkansas has stated that a maenad was killed in his kingdom, and he claimed the prize. He presented it to our Queen as a token of his affection." Was he insane? Whatever happened to a nice unicorn horn or something? No. No way. It couldn't possibly be.

"Okay. Yes."

"Yes what?" the vampire demanded.

"Yes, I'm calling the king a liar," I said. If he went aggressive, then Ghellert and Thalia would have cause to defend me, and I could also defend myself. No way this thing is a real thrysus. It could make a handy stake though.

After giving me one of those characteristic long stares, the vampire finally let his features relax. "Very well," he accepted. "Now prove it."

I set about to do just that, making notes as I went. The easiest thing to do would be to date and classify the wood. It's also supposed to be a specific type, and that was something I could check for under the microscope. Fennel wood is pretty obscure. It hasn't got a lot of uses. In fact, I think it's only used for this because the plant resembles the shape of the thrysus itself. The vampire was very curious about what I was doing and writing, but when he tried to get too close to me, Ghellert stepped between us. I made a show of using the UV lamp, asking the vampire to step back for his own safety.

I didn't think UV light would actually hurt him. Vampires have been pretty reluctant to let human scientists study them, but there are a lot of artificial sources of UV radiation beaming around all the time, and vampires aren't shrieking with the pain of meeting the sun every time they get near a blacklight, or see a barcode scanner. Mr. Compton stepped back anyway, but still watched me very carefully.

My phone started ringing before I was done. It was Eric.

"I'm so sorry, I have to take this. My boyfriend gets super mad if I don't answer, and he gets nervous about me working late. If I don't pick up, he'll just show up here. He's way overprotective."

I was doing that thing where you're lying, so you talk too much. I just couldn't stop myself.

"Hi sweetcheeks! I missed you today. Everything okay?" I answered.

"Sookie?" He was understandably confused by my greeting. "I received your message."

"I know, baby. I'm so sorry I have to work late. I promise I'll be home soon."

Damn it, Eric. Catch on! There was a pause.

"Are they still there?"

"Yes, so don't get fresh! I'm not alone." William was standing near the table. I assumed he could hear the voice through the phone, and hoped it sounded natural enough. I took my chance. "Hold on a sec... Mr. Compton, I'm sorry, but please don't touch those slides with your bare hands. There are gloves by the door if you insist."

Eric growled. I chanced a look up at the others in the room. Thalia looked indifferent. Brenda was staring at the floor. Ghellert was looking at me like I'd gone round the twist. William was showing only mild disdain, which I would take over angry suspicion any day of the week.

"Are you safe?" Eric asked.

"Yes honey," I said dramatically. "Ghellert will be here to walk me to my car when I leave. Don't worry."

"I will speak to you later."

"Okay great," I said, and hung up.

There. I'd managed to inform Eric who was here without arousing suspicion. I could give him the names of the other two later, if Thalia didn't talk to him first. It was no big secret that part of her job here was to keep him informed about whom we saw as clients.

We were all still on edge, but the tension in the air had ratcheted down significantly. I just needed to do my work and then get out of here.

The thrysus was a quality reproduction, but that's all it was. Thank God (and not Dionysus), because the last thing we need in Shreveport is a pissed off maenad. I let out a sigh of relief as I confirmed the age of the wood to be only a hundred years or so. The pine cone was actually older, but not anywhere near being three thousand years old and preserved by magic. There was power to it. I could feel that. Obviously the vampires could too, or they wouldn't have bothered coming here. This might have been used by a witch or a shaman, but definitely not a maenad. I didn't go insane by handling it, even gloved. Exhibit C. It also lacked the ivy vines which were supposed to be present. They're not decorative. Though toxic to humans, the maenads eat them.

I had a long form to fill out, and then I had to write my personal comments. I appraised it like I would a magical relic a couple of hundred years old.

"It's a very lovely piece," I announced, reciting my standard speech, "but I'm afraid it's not authentic."

"I see," said the vampire.

I closed the case and placed the manilla envelope containing my detailed, signed report.

"So you're saying the thing is worthless," the vampire said.

"I've included a valuation you could expect to receive at auction," I said, diplomatically. This is always difficult. I've had people cry. I didn't think there was risk of that in this instance, but I didn't rule out some worse reaction. "May I speak candidly?"

"Have you not been?"

I ignored that. "It's a good thing that it's not real. It would be too dangerous to possess. It's not a trinket. It's certainly not a 'love token.' If I'd believed it to be authentic, we would have refused to examine it."

"The staff of a maenad?"

"Yes," I agreed.

"Are they really that dangerous?"

Is he new? "Um, yes," I tried to emphasize.

"Yes." It was Thalia who spoke.

He wouldn't take my word for it, but evidently he'd take hers. After sharing a long look with the ancient vampire, William gathered up his case and we all walked in procession to escort him from the building.

After they'd left, I slumped on one of the guest chairs in front of Holly's desk.

"That was really, really stressful."

"What the hell were you thinking telling him he could come downstairs Sookie? You know I'm going to have to report this to Upper Management."

"Yeah, fine," I replied. "Make sure you tell him that the Queen's vamps were about three seconds away from glamouring you and storming the lab to force me to do the work."

"I had that under control."

"You did not," I said. "You hate vamps on principle, and you were being rigid to the point of argument. With clients. You're the one who tells me that in this line of work, sometimes we have to bend."

"I was protecting you just as much. Just because you're..." she started to say. My eyes shot straight to her in warning.

"I know where I work and who I sometimes have to work for. You know full well that even if I may grumble, I'll do what has to be done. I did the right thing. You know it. Call Management, see if he disagrees."

"He will not." That was Ghellert.

Brenda turned on her heel and stormed off toward her office. Make that two people at work who hate my guts.

I went and cleaned up the lab, retrieved my purse and coat, and locked up downstairs. Brenda was in her office, but she didn't answer the door when I knocked.

I breathed deep when I reached the freezing cold air. It was late, and it was quiet, if still a little windy. Thalia moved beside me, resuming her post outside. Her mind was as restful as Eric's. She walked me to my car, and I went home.