In the Closet

Disclaimer: The characters in question belong to Diane Duane. I own only the plot.

Chapter 7: In the Backyard

Author's Note: Another chapter up! I'm excited. I angsted over this a little bit. One of those long awaited things that I wanted to get just right. I really hope it lives up to it's expectations. Anyway, without further ado, I'm posting this so that I can hear your thoughts on it as soon as possible!

Nita wasn't sure how to feel exactly. She thought back to a few hours ago. Kit finally kissed her. She sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to start it—she wanted it to be his move. She hadn't been certain what to expect. The feelings were out there now. They both knew that they cared for one another in a way that wasn't strictly platonic. It didn't change anything really. They'd still go to bat for one another a hundred and ten percent. They always would. They were partners, had been since the beginning. What did it mean now then? That they'd hold hands in the hallway at school? Go to dances together? Kiss…and more? That'd certainly been a lot of fun. She closed her eyes, head resting against the rowan tree, one of her oldest friends, soaking in the memory and moonlight.

He'd mentally whispered to her, Please don't hate me and he kissed he. She could sense him before he made a move even, his muscles were tense, he was nervous, but all that nervousness was shunted off to the side in exchange for action—he was going to kiss her. He just hoped it turned out all right. It was a short kiss, lips not quite sure what to do with one another, pulling back as though he were planning to dive into a swimming pool and changed his mind at the last minute and just jumped instead. Her arm was under her body at an awkward angle. He pulled away, embarrassed, glaring at the dog at the end of his bed for lack of anything else at which to look. After that, he didn't want to look at Nita.

She couldn't catch thoughts coming from him, but feelings. He was annoyed at himself—whether for trying or for trying and feeling as though he hadn't done it well, she wasn't sure. Face flushed red Nita gave an exasperated groan, twisting herself so she was laying properly on her back—arm freed from where it had been trapped under her body. She used her other hand to tug him forward by the shoulder, muttering, "Didn't count. That one was practice." She kept her hand on his shoulder—she was going to keep going to at least make sure they got a fair try at it this time. The other hand she rested on the back of his head. She was a little surprised at herself for being so brazen, but if they never got another shot at this, well, at least she tried. She'd been waiting for it long enough.

That time certainly went better…they were still learning but when they both pulled away she was pretty sure she and Kit had both been wearing smiles. He had tasted like his mother's chicken and rice dish they'd had for dinner. His mind felt very gray and brown…earthy. Dirt…rocks…meteorites. Not the sleek silver of metal and machines she was expecting. His specialty was un-alive things…that included rocks and land as much as cars and planes. Experiencing through him…they felt more alive, more aware.

"That was…"

"Yeah…"

They'd been about to give it another try when Carmela pounded on the door and came in without bothering to wait for an answer. "Parents sent me to tell you it's time for you to go home, Nita. It's late. And you gotta take the dog out before bed. You gonna walk her home, Kit?"

Kit was leaning over the bed, face hidden as he slipped his shoes on. "Yeah, yeah, Mela. I'll take care of everything. Learn to knock, would you? Neets and I were in the middle of talking," he snapped.

Mela laughed. "It's you and Nita. Why would I knock, El Niño?" She made a face as she ducked out of the room.

Nita gathered up her backpack, not quite looking at him. "I don't need to be walked home. I'm a big girl—I tie my own shoes and everything, you know," she joked. Kit shook his head. He wanted to walk her home. Nita said goodnight to his parents downstairs, and putting Abernathy on one of Ponch's old leashes, wearing a collar made of the Speech, they started into the night. They didn't talk, but he kissed her one more time, briefly, just before they got to her house. Nita was grateful he didn't do it at the door. She wasn't sure she could handle any teasing from Dari yet or threats from her dad.

Now, several hours had gone by and she was in the backyard. She'd scurried past Dari and Roshaun drawing spell diagrams in the living room in their notebooks. If Dairine hadn't been so exhausted and distracted, she might or might not have noticed the odd expression on Nita's face. Nita said good night to her dad and took her telescope outside. Looking at the stars always helped to focus her when she was feeling out of sorts. She and Kit had finally made out. She wasn't exactly sure what it changed or didn't change. She knew as certain as anything that her life was bound to his—their wizardry, their day-to-day lives, all of it. She'd known that for a long time. So they'd done something they hadn't physically done before—they kissed. What did it change? Anything? Everything?

She did remember vaguely reading in her manual, what seemed a very long time ago, about permanent wizarding partnerships. They'd always be partners—they worked better that way. It was both or none. She smiled a little; how many times had he told her if they didn't both make it back from something, neither of them was going to make it back? He was sheer guts, every inch of him. It was hard to imagine he'd ever been bullied when she looked at him now. Then again, after everything the two of them had been through in the last few years, it was hard to imagine she'd ever been bullied.

It was nights like this she missed her mom the most. She missed her every day, missed seeing the way she danced as she cooked dinner and carried the laundry…but on a night like this, with a big milestone in her life, it hurt especially badly. She needed to will herself to sleep tonight, to go to Timeheart, to find what's loved and preserved.

She didn't have the time. Her no matter how tired she was, she was too on edge to sleep. With all the personal feelings, she'd let herself get distracted from the new information they'd been given about the Mars situation. She still had a lot of reading to do. She rubbed her eyes. "I miss you already, Kit," she murmured. She wished she hadn't had to leave. It felt more…right to pour over the information together, even if they were reading separately, not speaking. It was late. Too late for him to pop over to study together, too late for her to crack open the manual at this hour when she had school in the morning, and too late to be sitting here under Liused's comforting branches.

Go to bed, little one. The stars will still be there in the morning, even if you can't see them, the tree reminded her gently.

Smiling, Nita packed up her telescope and brought it in the house, propping it up by the kitchen door while she went upstairs and went to bed.

Dairine was frustrated, and that was putting it mildly. She could see all the reasons why Roshaun's plan was good. It was simple, and it was magic along the lines which he and the wizards on Wellakh were familiar with. It just threatened him too severely to be worth the risk. She wasn't letting him end up the Powers-knew-where. Not again. Nobody could handle that sort of spell backlash on their own, and he certainly wouldn't share it out with any of the Wellakhit wizards. He was too stubborn for his own good or theirs. What sort of chaos would descend on the planet if he died now? Not to mention, it was bad enough for his parents to have had to think him dead once—he couldn't put them through it again. He shouldn't put her through it.

She sighed. They need to do something and they needed to do it soon. The problem was water—not the sun. How do you bring water where there isn't any?

Dairine left a note on the breakfast table for Roshaun, folded in half, with his name scrawled on the outside. Her face was grim. She hadn't wanted to tell him this when he was awake and could fight with her over it. Let him have this now so he could stew about it all day until she got home. Dairine saw Nita coming down the stairs as she made her way out of the house. Nita looked tired. Roshaun was still asleep on the couch. She didn't want to be around for this.

Nita was barely aware as Dari left, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She'd spent so long in the backyard last night she certainly hadn't gotten enough sleep. There was Roshaun, asleep on the couch in his weird nightcap. She ran into her father in the kitchen, just up himself, and turning the coffeemaker on. "Good morning, Daddy."

"Morning, Nita." He rubbed his temple, sitting down at the table to wait for the coffee. "Where's your sister?"

"She already left." Nita frowned. Her sister might be someone she could talk to about Kit. Maybe. She wished her mom were still here. Could she talk to her dad about this? It wasn't like she was a little kid asking permission to go out on a date with some guy. This was Kit, practically family, who'd gone on family vacations with them. Kit was part of her life, regardless of anything her dad might say, not that she was sure he would say anything. She didn't have any girl friends to talk to, let alone any female role models. Maybe she could talk to Tom and Carl…or Aunt Annie. She couldn't really imagine going to Dairine, even though Dairine was the only one who'd remotely been in this situation. She could talk to Millman when she got to school. She gave herself a mental headshake. Here she was with girl problems so to speak, and the only person she could come up with as a likely source to bounce ideas off of was the male school therapist. There was something more than a little wrong with that.

"Nita, you okay?"

She gave herself another mental shake. "I was just thinking about something. Dad, are you okay with Dairine and Roshaun?"

He turned to look at her over his shoulder, watching her pour the coffee into mugs. "No boy is good enough for either of my girls, but I have to say—she seems happy and I haven't seen him mistreat her in the slightest. The alien prince seems like a nice enough. I don't have any cause to complain except that I think he's going to take her away from me." He paused so long Nita was sure he was done speaking. He started up again, quietly, as though the thoughts were to himself. "Her sights were always out of this world. He's going to give her that chance and I won't be able to stop it. If he makes her happy, I don't want to stop it exactly. I'd just rather keep her here." He frowned. "Why?"

Nita shrugged, embarrassed. She tried not to let it show as she brought the mugs to the table. "Just wondering. It's not exactly a situation laid out in any parenting handbooks. I don't think the What to Expect When… series had any chapters that covered 'what to expect when your daughter brings home an alien prince'."

He raised an eyebrow. "None of them covered what to expect when you found out your daughters became wizards, promising to sacrifice their lives, limbs, and father's blood pressure to preserve Life either. You girls were a little bit young to make those sorts of decisions, you know. If you made them now I'd still say you were too young."

She smiled at him. "But it was the right decision. We've done what we felt we had to, what we wouldn't have felt right not doing, no matter what the cost. In Life's name and for Life's sake we promise to preserve that Life and help it grow when it is right to do so." She stood up and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you tonight. I'm stopping by the store on the way home. Kit got a new dog this week. Do you need anything when I'm out?"

He shook his head. "Just fine. I may be working late tonight. The floral tape and wire for all the corsages and whatnot with prom arrived yesterday and with prom season just around the corner I want to get as much done for it as I can ahead of time."

Nita headed out the door, just as Roshaun was waking up. Millman might actually be her best option for someone to talk to about all this. How bizarre was that?

Nita got to Millman's office and waited, sitting herself down on a chair in the outer office, flipping open her manual, trying to catch up on some of the Mars information. She had study hall this period so it wasn't a terrible thing to miss. She wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say to him, but it had to be better asking him for advice than asking no one. What she wasn't expecting to see after sitting outside his office reading for ten minutes was Dairine walking out of it.

"What are you doing here, runt?"

Dairine looked up sharply, glaring over her glasses. "Don't call me that. What are you doing here?"

She shifted uneasily in her seat. "I wanted to talk to Millman about something personal; this is my study hall period."

The redhead stuffed the papers she was carrying in her backpack and said offhandedly. "I want my GED. Don't tell dad." Dairine started off down the hallway as Millman poked his head out, calling Nita into his office.

Any of the lines of conversation Nita had had stored in her head disappeared like wisps of smoke in a strong breeze. She blurted out, "Why does Dairine want her GED?"

"You know I can't break confidentiality. What brings you in today, Nita? Still not sleeping well?"

She shook her head, her mind distracted. "No worse. And I'm caught up on all my work. I don't know how long I can keep this up. I'm on Errantry again."

"I don't think I can get away with justifying a single day more off of school for either of you. Flags will be raised if they aren't already."

Nita nodded. "I don't want to make anything difficult for my dad or you or anybody else involved. I had more of a personal reason for coming in today. I didn't know who else to talk to."

He leaned back at his desk. "You're always welcome to come in to talk, Nita, you know that. You couldn't talk to Kit?"

"It's about him. Sort of. And me. What's supposed to change? I mean, does anything change, does it make a difference? Is there any point to…any of this?"

He crossed his legs, a green and blue sock matching his sweater becoming visible between his pant leg and shoe. "Any point to what, Nita?"

She took a few steadying breaths. "Kit. I love him, as my best friend, my partner, as everything. We kind of reached the point last night where we were willing to say that and he kissed me. And I don't know if that changes anything or if it's supposed to change anything. What's the difference between a best friend and someone you're dating? You go out together, do things together, and trust each other. It all sounds the same to me. So is the only difference that something physical happens every once in a while? Everyone was warning us that denying how we felt about each other would ruin our wizardry. What you want to happen and what you believe will happen or should happen, happens. What you say makes a difference. That's what wizardry is. Well, we've said it now. Does it change anything? Is anything supposed to change?" She banged her head against the wall softly. "I miss my mom," she muttered.

"Believe something and the universe is on its way to being changed, because you've changed, by believing. That same principle applies here. Personally, I don't think there is a lot of difference between a best friend and a soul mate in some respects. It's the person you trust most in the world, the person you will take care of and who will take care of you. I have to say, I don't have a lot of experience concerning wizarding partners who become romantically involved. I don't see why it should be different. Best friends frequently don't cross the boundary between friends and more than friends because they aren't physically attracted to one another, or they're too shy when it comes down to it. If that's not an issue…I tend to think best friends make the best partners—in all senses of the word."

She sighed. She certainly had changed. She wanted to kiss Kit right now, to sit in his arms and have him tell her things were going to work out. After last night, she felt like maybe that was actually an option. It felt like they were out of secrets. It was all out in the open. "And if it doesn't work out?"

"Things change, Nita. You can't go back to a time before they changed—it's just not doable. You can work through them, but things never go back to what they were. They may be better, they may be worse, but life never stays the same, not for a moment. Each moment comes and goes, and things change. If they don't, you're not living life."

She groaned in frustration. "You're giving me platitudes, not answers. Say Kit and I hadn't been best friends for the last however many years, and we started dating. I haven't really done this before. What makes a relationship a dating relationship?"

"You go out together. You stay home together. You talk. You do pretty much exactly what you and Kit have always done. I know he's a major part of your life, Nita. In that respect, you're right, nothing has changed. Saying it out loud though is an acceptance of that—it's saying that you know he's important you and you want everyone else to know it too. I don't know what else to tell you, Nita."

She rubbed her temples, giving a dry laugh. This was utterly ridiculous. "I just want to know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, what does it say that I have news like this—that I'm dating someone I love—and the only person I tell is my shrink?"

Dairine had her lunch period. She wasn't sure exactly how or when she was going to explain about the GED to Nita and her dad. She'd hoped to put it off until she'd actually done it. The testing was in a few weeks. She could test out of high school and make it a little easier to transition herself out of the ties this world had on her.

She was almost to the cafeteria when she heard a voice calling to her from the chain link fence. "Dhairine!"

She spun around. Only one person put quite that pronunciation on her name. She stalked towards the fence. She had been counting on not encountering him for another few hours. "What are you doing here? This is my school."

"I know this is your school. It was the logical place to look for you. What did you mean by this?" He shoved the piece of paper she'd left him through the chain link fence. She didn't bother reading the words—she knew what they said.

I'll tell you what. I'm will to go your route, but if I do, I'm sharing the sun work with you. You're not carrying that risk on your own—it's together or nothing. I'm not backing down on this.

She put one hand on her hip, glaring at him with a stare that tended to work wonders on the playground. Unfortunately for her, he was pretty much immune to it. She'd have to come up with something better. "I mean exactly what I wrote. We need a solution. I'll do it your way, but we're sharing the risk."

He glowered at her. "Dhairine, I have done similar wizardries before and am not unaccustomed to working with stars."

She snapped. "Neither am I. I pulled iron from the heart of a star not all that long ago in Ireland. I can do this, and if you'll take the risk, so will I. Otherwise we can start working on another solution. I see the problems with my idea about going below the surface to work on the water problem. Water needs to come from somewhere—I don't think the sun is the place for it."

"The water isn't in the sun, but if we quiet her down, it will help preserve what water is still on the ground."

She stared at him, trying to keep her temper in check. No sense in attracting attention to themselves. "You can't be here. I have to eat lunch and get back to my classes. I can't explain a Wellakhit king tagging along behind me, arguing with everything I say. Go home and we'll sort this out when I get there."

He couldn't help but wonder how such a short little thing could look so imposing when she wanted to, but he didn't budge. He just stared down at her calmly. "What would the use in going home be?"

"You're going to get me in trouble here. It looks like you're just some creeper standing outside the fence of the high school talking to me. First you're going to get in trouble, I'm going to get in trouble, and then, I am going to have to clean up your mess, so just go home." She had her teeth clenched, trying hard not to raise her voice. She could feel Spot straining in her backpack, wanting to come out and defend her—Spot knew she was agitated. "Spot, settle down. It's fine."

He stood there, staring at her impassively.

"Just go home and we'll settle this when I get out of school. I have another idea if you're willing to listen to it." Nita's idea, she thought to herself. "I have an idea about how to pull out the water but we need to consult an expert. If you don't want to go home yet, go see Tom and Carl. I'm sure you can find your way from here. I've got another three hours left." She walked away from the fence, hoping he wouldn't stay there, not quite daring to look back. She couldn't just walk out of school right now and take care of things, no matter how much she wanted to. She settled herself down at the end of a table, nodding to one or two guys she knew, not saying anything. She un-slung her backpack from her back and took out Spot and her bologna and mustard sandwich, eating while she started looking for contact information for the Senior of the Waters around the Gates.