Take It Easy

Today's song is Take It Easy by Surfer Blood.

The silence within the cars was short lived as Alice soon regained consciousness and began shrieking like a banshee while pelting Bella with her small, surprisingly sharp fists. While within the Jeep in front of them, the boys weren't fairing much better. There may not have been any screaming or hitting taking place like it was within the slightly swerving truck behind them but Emmett surely would have preferred it to the stony, disapproving silence that had begun to mess with his sanity.

Around the time Bella knocked Alice out cold, Emmett had decided to begin blaring his obnoxious gangster rap at maximum volume. Being more of a Johnny Cash man himself, Charlie was vehemently opposed to his son's music choices and began rooting around the car in search of an alternative music choice.

Ignoring Emmett's red faced protests, Charlie popped open the glove compartment and began shifting through its contents. Within seconds he had pulled out six empty condom wrappers and a baggy full of weed. It was at that moment that the CD ended and the car was plunged into a deep and deadly silence.

While Charlie was not an overly emotional man, the Swan children could always figure out their father's moods by deciphering the positioning of his moustache and currently, Emmett's future was looking grim. He was beginning to think that maybe he would have been better off hitchhiking with the zombies. He just thanked god Charlie hadn't happened across the spank bank that was stored beneath the passenger's seat because if there was one think Charlie hated more than potheads and the French, it was porn.

He felt that having it around was demeaning to his daughters and after once finding a copy of Playboy on Emmett's dresser, he had forced him to volunteer to help out in the women's self defense classes at the local community center. That was the last time he ever left his dirty magazines out in the open or made the mistake of thinking old Mrs. Alvarez couldn't pack a punch. He had hobbled around for nearly a week afterward with a bag of frozen okra strapped to his groin. Yes, Charlie finding Emmett's pot stash was definitely preferable.

"Dad, I-," Emmett started but screwed his mouth shut, unsure of what to say exactly.

Charlie's moustache twitched slightly and he raised his hand to silence his beet red son. "Please Emmett, don't. I really don't want to know I'm just glad you're being safe. God knows the world couldn't handle having more of you running around."

Emmett's shoulders sagged and he let out the anxious breath he had been holding. His father was focused on the used condom wrappers. Good. Maybe Charlie thought the weed was oregano?

"Now, about this reefer…"

"Shit Dad," Emmett said as all of his hopes came crashing down around him. "I know what you're going to say but come on can you blame me with Alice around?"

To Emmett's surprise, Charlie's moustache twitched to the right indicating that he was giving his son one of his lopsided grins. "Actually son, I was going to ask if you minded if we gave some to your sister, she could seriously use hit."

Emmett's draw dropped as he stared in awe at his straight laced police officer father, completely taking his eyes off the road.

"Shit!" Charlie cried grabbing the dashboard. "Emmett! Road!"

Emmett snapped his head back to the road just in time to watch in horror as he ran right into a figure stumbling down the road. The body smashed into the windshield and flew right over the roof and into the way of Bella's oncoming truck.

Stunned, Emmett and Charlie's heads whipped around in time to watch the two screaming girls run right over the body before fishtailing slightly and coming to a screeching halt.

Charlie was unbuckled and out of the still moving Jeep before Emmett had time to shift it into park. Disregarding the obviously deceased individual behind the car, Charlie raced to the passenger's side door and wrenched it open. A shocked and shaken Alice fell into his arms.

"Are you alright girls? Are either of you hurt?" Charlie demanded fearfully.

A wide eyed Bella turned her blood drained face to her father and managed to choke out an 'I'm fine'.

"Alice honey, are you alright?" Charlie asked pulling gently back from his smallest daughter's trembling form and checking her for injuries. "Oh god, look at that bruise. Did you hit your face on the dashboard?" he asked concerned.

Had he been paying closer attention, Charlie would have noticed the nervous eye twitch Bella had suddenly developed and just how interested she had suddenly become in her short fingernails. But he missed all of Bella's obvious tells as he was completely focused on the small injured girl before him.

Sensing an opportunity for payback, Alice allowed big crocodile tears to fill her wide, innocent blue eyes. "I didn't hit the dashboard Daddy, Bella did," she sniffled deviously.

"Bella hit the dashboard?" Charlie asked confused as to why Alice had a bruise and not Bella.

"No," Alice drew in a shaky breath. "Bella did it. She hit me." She pointed her well manicured finger at her glaring sister. "She punched me!"

"I didn't," Bella cried indignantly but upon receiving the full force of Charlie's glare and a similar moustache position to the one Emmett had received earlier, she back peddled quickly. "Alright well maybe I did punch her a little," she admitted refusing to make eye contact, "but she deserved it! She kept screaming about how we are all going to die. She was driving me insane!"

The sound of a hand hitting her window and the wide, terrified eyes of her sister caused her to clamp her mouth shut and turn her head slowly to the left. Bella found herself staring into the disfigured face of one of the undead. Currently, the zombie was slapping at the window and trying unsuccessfully to chew through the glass while licking it like an ice cream cone.

"Oh you have got to be fudging with me!" Bella shouted angrily, "I just washed this car!

"Take it easy Bella," Charlie warned.

But she was too preoccupied with the floundering sack of flesh before her to heed her father's warning tone. Reaching behind her, Bella grabbed a tire iron and with an almighty shove, pushed the door open knocking the grotesque hitchhiker flat onto what must have once been his ass.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you had better not go out there," Charlie growled warningly from his encumbered position within Alice's bone crushing hold.

As the zombie struggled to regain its footing, Bella marched determinedly forward swinging the tire iron like a baseball bat. Although seriously disfigured by the two cars it had been run over by and what ever trauma it had suffered to get it to this state, it was apparent from the clothes and scraggly facial hair that it had either been a male or a really, really unfortunate female. Its legs were both twisted at odd angles, probably from being run over repeatedly, and the skin on its face hung in ribbons.

As Bella stepped closer, the zombie swiped at her pant legs trying to catch hold of the delicious morsel before it but missed every time. The fact that both of its hands were hanging loosely from its wrists probably wasn't helping.

Raising her weapon above her head, Bella brought her crowbar smashing down onto the zombie's skull, smashing a neat hole through it and destroying what remained of its brain. If her family wasn't shocked by her killing efficiency, they certainly were when they watched with matching wide eyes as she struck it repeatedly over the head until there was an unrecognizable of mush left where its head should be. Bella though took no notice as she wiped her weapon off on the corpse's tattered clothing and climbed back into the truck without a word, checked the backseat, and tossed the crowbar into the small jump seat as though nothing out of the ordinary had just transpired.

She restarted the truck with a flick of her wrist and glanced over at a speechless Charlie and Alice, Emmett was still sitting in the Jeep, a look of pure pride and adoration lighting up his face.

"Well?" She asked expectantly after a moment. "Are we getting out of here or what? If there's one of these things this far out here there has to be more nearby."

Charlie cleared his throat and exchanged a worried look with Alice. "Uh, sure, yeah you're uh probably right. We should get out of here but uh-," he paused and scratched his head uncomfortably. "Why don't we have Alice here switch places with your brother?" he suggested eying Alice's blossoming bruise. Bella just shrugged as Alice pushed past her father and sprinted for the safety of the large Jeep.

After being kicked out his Jeep by Charlie, Emmett practically bounced his way over to the truck with his metal box tucked under his arm and climbed eagerly inside glad to escape any more uncomfortable silences. Bella didn't even wait for him to close the door all the way before she started moving.

"Those were some pretty badass moves back there Bellybutton," he gushed in adoration as he stowed the locked box beneath his seat. Again Bella shrugged but said nothing choosing instead to focus on the road.

Desperate for some sort of conversation, Emmett decided to fill his sister in about what had happened in the Jeep. "So Charlie found our condom wrappers," he revealed in a bored tone while staring intently out the window and into the darkness.

The truck swerved wildly as Bella fought to keep control. "Our what?" She shrieked.

"Our condom wrappers," he repeated, turning his large body toward her much smaller one. "You know, from the condoms we filled with chili and pelted Newton's car with last week."

"Yeah I know what you're talking about," she snapped, "but consider your choice of words for a moment there genius."

Emmett wrinkled his brow in confusion as he rethought his words and Bella waited for her childlike brother to pick up on the absolute vileness of his statement. In three, two, one…

"Oh gross!" He shouted, his face contorting in disgust as he fought to put as much space between himself and his sister as possible in the cramped cab.

"Yeah dipshit!" she exclaimed before another thought occurred to her and she face palmed. "Wait, you didn't tell Charlie they were ours did you?" Bella asked worriedly before shaking her head. "No you must not have, otherwise no amount of zombies would have kept him from destroying our very souls." She paused for a minute. "Did he uh, find the weed?" she asked nervously.

Emmett surprised her by snorting in amusement. "Oh he found your 'reefer'," he interjected air quotes, "alright." He let out another amused chuckle.

Bella's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Are you high?"

"No." He laughed grabbing his sides, "But Charlie thinks Alice should be!" No longer able to contain his manly giggles, Emmett collapsed back against the cool door and wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face.

After a few minutes of intense concentration along with and one or three more 'manly' giggle attacks, Emmett caught his breath long enough to ask the question he had been dying to know the answer to.

"Now Isabella Marie," he said in such a spot on Charlie voice that Bella couldn't contain the snort of amusement that managed to break through her stoic façade. "What's this I hear about you laying waste to your sweet baby sister's delicate face?"

At the memory Bella's mouth curled up in an evil smirk and her entire body began to shake with silent laughter. "Oh my god Emmett it was amazing, I've always dreamed of it but my imagination did it no justice. She was driving me insane, just wouldn't shut the fluff up! She kept screaming that we were all going to die and while that is a very possible scenario, I didn't really want to think about it. So when she grabbed me I couldn't take it anymore and I let her have it."

The grin on Emmett's face was so wide it looked like his face might crack. "Just like I showed you?" he asked.

"Just like you showed me," she agreed with a smile.

He began tapping his fingers together before stroking his imaginary beard like he was deep in thought. "You have done well my young grasshopper," he said in a goofy voice causing them both to burst out in laughter.

The moment was light, something they both desperately needed after the worst days of their adult lives so far. Sadly, they would both soon look back on this day as one of the good ones as there were far worse things to come.

"By the way," Bella asked after they had caught their breaths, "I keep meaning to ask. What's in the box?"

"Uh-" Emmett's face turned beet red and he suddenly became incredibly fascinated with his seatbelt. "Bullets," he squeaked out in a voice higher than his own. He cleared his throat, "just uh, more bullets. You can never be too prepared you know."

Bella nodded momentarily satisfied with his answer and too tired to ask why he insisted on carrying it everywhere. There would be plenty of time to squeeze the real answer out of him later. For now she just needed to focus on sticking to the plan and getting her family to the mesa before it was too late.

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I hope you're all enjoying this little window into my madness. Please leave me some love!

XOXO,

Bellarella