When Matt walked into the living room of his uncle's ranch house and saw her, he almost thought for a moment he had stepped straight into his past. The woman who looked at him, appeared just as she had five years ago, the last time that he had seen her. Her hair draped her face in soft waves and a few crow's feet laced her face near her eyes and the dress she wore clung to her figure particularly in front. Matt remembered that dress well and that she hadn't been wearing it long when they had been together.
And the look in her eyes, a mixture of coolness and calculation, reminded him of her as well.
"Nadine…"
She smiled at him, slowly and savoring every bit of it.
"It's been too long," she said, "I heard that you had come back to town."
Matt perused her face, the trace of anticipation along with the predation in her eyes along with the smile which threatened to curl her lips. He knew she hadn't dropped on by to make a social visit but he had no idea why she did show up dressed to kill.
But he hadn't been the man she had known in a long time. Still, he smiled in return and offered her a drink, which she accepted. And so he poured all three of them Scotches from his uncle's cabinet. After he handed her a glass, he took a sip from his own and looked at her.
"I heard your husband turned up dead and buried in a vacant lot," he said, "and to think we all believed he had just gone off to sow some more oats."
A frown lined her face then and her eyes hardened just enough for him to notice that in front of him now, stood the real Nadine. The one that he had last seen before heading back to L.A. and his life there, after she had tried to lure him back into her arms. He looked at her now, wondering if she had known at the time what had happened to Dylan. At any rate, she really hadn't seemed to miss him in her life all that much. Not when she looked like she wanted to devour him when her husband lie rotting in a shallow grave. But if she saw that he wasn't taking her bait right now, she didn't let on.
"I think we know who's responsible for what really happened to him," Nadine said.
His eyes narrowed.
"And who would that be?"
Then Nadine did smile but no warmth shone there.
"Oh come on Matt, we all know who did it," she said, looking over at C.J.
Matt glanced over at C.J. who just folded her arms.
"I didn't kill him Nadine," she said, "You know in most cases of homicide, it's the person closest to the victim that did it."
Nadine opened her mouth to say something but C.J. paid her little mind. She had never been a member of Nadine's pecking order so she didn't feel like she really had to follow its rules. The only thing that they had shared was one man and then C.J. shot a look at Matt, well two of them actually. And both of them had wound up with the man they really wanted in the end or had they? But then Nadine never had been content with what she had not when she wanted someone else or more accurately what someone else had.
Still, C.J. knew that she had gotten her attention.
"That would be you right?"
Oh, Nadine didn't like that one bit and she put her glass down and placing one manicured hand on her hip, she tilted her head and sized up C.J. Not one to ever want to tangle with her because no one could throw a punch like C.J. but she wasn't above sending a verbal jab her way or maybe two. Now Nadine just took a deep breath and responded. She may have not had a law degree from Harvard but she had won back to back beauty queen titles in Laredo County so she could stitch a few sentences together.
"I did not kill my husband," Nadine said, "I loved him with everything I had. Sure we fought sometimes but what couples don't?"
C.J. thought back to their brand of fighting and it appeared that time had softened Nadine's memories of those days. And of one night in particular that she had never forgotten.
"You did more than just argue," she said quietly.
That stopped Nadine right in her tracks and Matt looked between both of the woman.
"It was just…words," Nadine said, shaking her head, "That's all. I know he loved me."
C.J. just looked at her and Matt saw in his friend's eyes a hint of sadness which disappeared just as quickly.
"So that's what you're saying now?"
Nadine's eyes flashed dangerously.
"What are you getting at," she said, "Besides most of the time we argued about you and how you tried to get into his pants."
Now Matt watched something light up C.J., which he recognized as anger.
"Is that what he told you?"
Nadine nodded.
"He told me you wouldn't leave him alone," she said, "That you couldn't get over the fact that he had his fun with you and was done years before."
C.J. shook her head slowly.
"It's more the other way around," C.J. countered, "When I came back, he wouldn't stop trying to get me to get back with him even though he was married to you."
"Oh I'm sure that's unbelievable," Nadine said, "Why would he want to shack up with you?"
C.J. had swallowed her words because as it had turned out that hadn't been what he had wanted at all. But she looked between Nadine and Matt, not saying anything at all.
Nadine sneered.
"You lying tramp…"
Matt stepped between them.
"Hey, there will be none of that Nadine," he said, "I think you'd better leave now."
She started to walk away and then spun around to face him.
"She killed him Matt," Nadine said, "I know that she killed Dylan as surely as I know that she did it because he loved me."
With that, she glared at C.J. one last time and then stopped and shot Matt a warmer look.
"If you want to talk, I still spend nights at the Wrangler," she said stroking his arm as she left them.
Matt didn't doubt that because besides the newer layer of bitterness in her eyes, she appeared almost as she had been the last time he had seen here at the bar and pool hall before he put Wild Fork and his life there behind him. But it certainly didn't appear as if she mourned the loss of her husband which surely must be fresh for her as his widow given the unearthing of his missing body.
"Not very subtle is she," C.J. noted.
"Never was," Matt agreed, "She hasn't changed that much since the last time I was in town."
C.J. looked down at her hands.
"She never liked me but these accusations she tossed out about Dylan and I…"
Matt saw the troubled look on her face.
"He had already gone missing by the time I returned to town back then," he said, "I missed all that came earlier."
Yes he did, C.J. thought but he had his own trauma to deal with returning home after fighting in a war that had killed his cousin or so he had believed and had left him wounded.
"Everything had just happened to you," she said, "You believed Will was gone and you were healing yourself. And I didn't make things easy for you when you were just looking for something solid to ground yourself."
He sighed, as they walked back outside to the back porch to return to their relaxation and their seats.
"C.J, that was a difficult time for both of us," he said, "you really did help me through it even if I never really told you that."
She smiled.
"We both wound up leaving town and heading to L.A. to start over," she said, "and I don't regret it."
Neither did Matt and the life they slowly built for themselves in their new city had reaped them both great rewards. They had built a major corporation from the ground up and had also created a highly successful investigative firm. Along the way they had met great people who had become close friends and lovers as well. But now an unexpected chain of events had brought them back to where they had started and they have to work their way through them before they could put this town behind them again and return home.
Back to where life would be waiting.
Wild Fork hadn't looked that much different than when they had last left it, save for the ground breaking on the lot which had inadvertently revealed the location of Dylan's remains. When Matt had returned to Wild Fork last time, he had been treated with some fanfare as a war hero and C.J. had watched him struggle with the accolades that he believed he hadn't deserved. She knew that for a long time, he had blamed himself for what had happened with Will even though he had been in another assignment miles away. Matt never could convince himself that he shouldn't have been right there with his cousin facing the same dangers. If he had not signed up for the military intelligence training and instead had been dispatched with his cousin, then he could have done something, anything to save him. With every military honor he had received, every medal that had been pinned to his uniform, only C.J. had seem that his wounds had grown deeper and for a long time, he tried to keep them hidden from everyone including himself.
Matt's fiancée, Christina hadn't returned with him but had continued working assignments as a high-fashion model while he tied up loose ends in Wild Fork. Only his visit back to his home town had turned out to be much more complicated than he thought. And C.J. remembered that a major reason why had been because of her. Because she had been keeping her own wounds hidden from him and everyone else until the day they spilled out.
She remembered the day that she had shouted at him to go back to L.A. and Christina and damn it, if he hadn't listened. Although she had tried to walk away from him, he hadn't let her get too far. In fact he had followed her and this time, hadn't grabbed hold of her, using only his words to persuade her to turn around to face him.
"What happened to you," he asked, "Why are you limping?"
She just stared at him, her hair hanging loose around her face.
"Nothing happened," she said, "I'm fine. I'm doing better than you are right now."
He pressed further.
"My uncle said that something happened, but he wouldn't say what."
Her eyes changed and she looked less angry and more something else, but Matt didn't know what.
"There's nothing to say about it," she said, "What's done is done…"
She sat back looking out into the fading daylight that surrounded them, and that lay between them and the horses grazing in the pastures, remembering those words years later. Wondering whether she had made the right decision by leaving them there in the past. Matt watched her for a moment and then he wrapped his arm around her shoulders drawing her close.
"Some things never change," C.J. said, nestling close to him.
"No they sure don't," he said, "Nadine sure hasn't a bit."
C.J. looked over at him.
"This was your ex," she said, "You and she were pretty hot and heavy at one time."
He smiled back at her.
"So were we."
That had been true, at least for a little while before reality hit home for both of them. After all, they had never come back to that point, at least not yet. He appeared to grasp that point as well as she did, as he used those fingers of his to lure her into a kiss. Not that she minded that in the least and when she could focus on him, she could forget everything else. Like his reemerging ex-girlfriend, the murder charges, life in prison and all that. She wrapped her arms around him and he leaned his body closer.
"Remember what it used to be like," he asked, in between.
She ran her fingers through his hair.
"Yeah I do," she said, "I never forgot how great it felt to be with you."
His face dimpled as he broke into a grin.
"Never?"
"Well I didn't think about it all the time if that's what you're getting at…"
He brushed his lips against her again.
"What about now?"
Her face changed, and became softer as he cupped it in his hands.
"That I'm glad to be here with you," she said, "despite all this."
C.J. lay in her bed, gazing at the stream of moonlight which shone through the window as she tried to sleep. She had turned in early while Matt and Roy had gotten into a conversation about what Roy had planned to do with the new horses. She knew that Roy had wanted to return the ranch to its earlier state before his son moved in to run it. Ever since he had returned to the world from his years spent captive, Will had experienced a rocky transition back into a society that made more sense than the time he had spent as a prisoner of war. Perhaps the ranch would restore the missing pieces in his life as it had helped her through a difficult time in her own life.
She thought back to five years ago, when she had walked into the kitchen where Roy had been working on some stew to serve for dinner. Her angry exchange with Matt still stung her, but when she saw the older man standing calmly by the stove, she felt herself calm down. After all, he had lost his son and had managed to both mourn his loss and move forward in life. C.J. knew that both she and Matt had to do what he had done and find their own paths. He had greeted her without turning around.
"What are you cooking," she had asked, although the tantalizing odors which greeted her provided some hints.
"I'm going through the leftovers and making them new again," Roy answered, "Seems to be working out well enough."
She nodded in agreement.
"Smells great," she said.
"Are you hungry?"
She hadn't been until he had asked her and then she realized she had been famished.
"You and my nephew had words again."
C.J. looked up at him but his tone told her he had just made an observation. He never cast judgment on her since she had come to stay with him. They worked with the yearlings all day when they weren't repairing fences or doing the other chores she had grown familiar with working on the other ranch.
"He's been asking a lot of questions."
He handed her a couple of glasses and she went to the refrigerator to get some sweetened tea to pour for them. Roy added some more celery into the stew.
"He cares about you," he said, "He always has and he's been worried."
She bit her lip.
"Why," she said, "He's the one who blames himself…"
"For my son's death," Roy finished quietly, "He's got to believe that there's nothing he could have done. That life delivers tragedy to us despite our efforts to stop it."
"He's taken it so hard about Will," she said, "He has a hard time believing he can't fix everything…"
Roy remained silent for a moment.
"You mean with my son…and with you?"
C.J. glanced up at him from where she stood.
".It has nothing to do with me," she said.
Then she knew she stood behind her even though she hadn't heard him enter the room.
"It has everything to do with you," was all he said.
She woke up with a start and noticed that the room had grown darker. Her pajamas felt damped by perspiration. The fragments of what she remembered began to slip away from her as she became more alert. She got out of bed and went to the kitchen to make herself some tea to help her sleep and she found that Roy had stocked up his collection. Picking the chamomile mix, she boiled some water on the stove to steep it.
"Can't sleep either," Matt said as he approached her.
She looked at his rumpled hair and the stubble on his face. He had walked in dressed only in pajama bottoms, which made her smile.
"Too much on my mind I think," C.J. said, pouring the water in a mug for her tea.
He stood behind and rubbed her shoulders and she leaned against his chest.
"We're going to get through this," he told her, "It's going to be just fine."
She nodded, trusting him and it hadn't been doubt that had kept her from sleeping. Sipping her tea, she looked at him.
"I know," she said, "It's just that coming back to Wild Fork brings it all back."
"Brings what back," he asked.
"Everything…"
He pulled her close to them and hugged her tightly, and she closed her eyes resting her head against him as the stood in the kitchen.