Mardy Bum

Today's song is Mardy Bum by the Arctic Monkeys.

"Pull over here," Bella instructed.

"Why, what's wrong?" Charlie asked concerned while complying with his daughter's request and pulling onto the shoulder of the empty road.

"Nothings wrong, yet and I'd like to keep it that way. I need to make a phone call."

Charlie's moustache twitched. "Bells, who could you possibly be calling? Besides, we're in the middle of the desert, do you even get service out…" he trailed off as Bella pulled a satellite phone out from under her seat.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked with a groan before throwing his head back over the seat and fixing her with a pained look.

"No," Bella replied while unfolding the phone's long antenna, "probably not."

"Alright, so since you obviously have service out here, who exactly are you calling?"

"Jake."

"Who the hell is Jake?"

"He's the guy who's going to save our sorry asses," she replied while dialing.

"What the-" Charlie was silenced with the wave of a hand demanding silence.

"Jake it's Bella. Yeah we made it. Not too much. Uh huh. About five miles. Alright are you all set? Oh god I'm so sorry! I know how much- yeah, yeah okay. You've got everything in place? Sure- I'll see you soon. Okay, you too."

Bella powered down the large phone, folded up the antenna and proceeded to store it back under her seat before looking at Charlie expectantly.

"Okay," she said with a nod, "let's go."

Rather than move, Charlie proceeded to stare at her waiting for some sort of explanation.

"Come on Dad we've got to go. The sooner we get there the better." Charlie just continued to stare.

"What?" she asked self consciously as she turned the rearview mirror to face her. "Do I have something really gross in my teeth?" After a quick inspection she found nothing and returned the mirror to its normal position.

"Are you going to explain what just happened?" Charlie asked.

Bella began to blush. "I guess I didn't really explain very well. So um, you've obviously seen this," she gestured toward the large notebook in her lap. "Well uh, I may have gone a little above and beyond in my planning and set up some, you know, contacts, around the uh country."

"Around the country?" Charlie squeaked before clearing his throat. "Bella how did you meet these people?"

Bella's face turned so red she resembled a strawberry. "Ontheinternet," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry," Charlie said shaking his head, "I thought you said you met these people on the internet."

"Um, yeah, I did," Bella admitted quietly as she braced herself for the scolding that was sure to follow.

Charlie didn't disappoint. "Are you insane?" he chastised as he put the truck back into gear and began driving toward the looming mesa. "These people could be complete psychos! You know better than to trust people on the internet. Didn't I teach you kids about stranger danger?"he asked as he pulled at his hair in frustration. "So you're telling me we're putting all of our lives in the hands of people you don't even know?"

"No," Bella pouted crossing her arms, "I know Jake for years and we can trust him."

"Bella talking to someone on the internet doesn't mean you know someone no matter how long you claim to have known them. For all we know this guy could be some dirty old pervert who gets his kicks by messing with young women on the internet."

"He's not an old pervert Dad," Bella replied with a tired sigh. "He's my age and we can trust him."

"You can't know that for sure," Charlie reiterated raising his voice. "You've never met him. Just because someone tells you something on the internet that doesn't mean they're-"

"I've met him," she mumbled quietly.

"What?" Charlie growled dangerously as he stared her down.

"I've uh met him," she repeated in a shaky voice while refusing to look him in the eye, "when I flew to Albuquerque to interview for grad school a few years ago I um stopped out here and I uh, met him."

Charlie's face had turned an angry purple color and Bella was surprised with he pulled off the side of the road. "Out," Charlie barked pointing to the door.

"Wait what?"

"Out, get out. Ride with your brother. I'm so mad at you right now I can't even think straight and I certainly can't stand looking at you. Get out, now," he growled menacingly.

Not needing to be told twice, Bella struggled with the lock on the door for a minute before succeeding in opening the heavy door and jumped out onto the side of the road. As soon as she closed the door, Charlie pulled away and continued driving down the road. In the distance she could see Emmett's Jeep rapidly approaching and stuck out her thumb.

Emmett decided to mess with his sister and drove by as he and Alice watched her face anxiously in their mirrors. The look on Bella's face was absolutely priceless and both tried to take a mental snapshot to keep with them always as they shook with laughter at their sister's expense. Not being truly evil, Emmett put his car in reverse and rolled back toward the stunned Bella.

"Where you headed stranger?" he asked wiping the tears of joy from his eyes as he leaned over a giggling Alice.

Stomping forward Bella wrenched open the backdoor and threw herself into the Jeep. "Shut up asshole."

Her irritation caused her siblings to laugh even harder while Bella struggled to find a space between a propane stove and several cases of bottled water. As Emmett began to drive forward again she sulked moodily in the backseat.

"So, Charlie abandoned you on the side of the road huh?" Alice asked sounding entirely too amused.

Rather than respond to Alice's taunts Bella chose flip her the bird and then proceeded to ignore her attempts at engaging her in a verbal sparring match. Instead she began picking nonexistent lint from her jeans.

Disappointed, Alice reached back, snatched the large notebook out of Bella's lap and began flipping through it. After a few minutes of silence broken only by Alice's huffs, snorts, and groans the CB on the dash crackled back to life.

"Emmett put your sister on."

"Which one?"

"The bigger one," was the terse reply they received.

With a loaded look, Emmett passed the voice piece to the backseat. "This is Bella," she called in a flat voice.

"Bella I'm currently being held at gunpoint," Charlie grunted angrily. "I need you to tell these, people who I am." All three Swans exchanged panicked looks as Emmett increased his speed.

"Alright Dad," she called back trying to keep the panic out of her voice, "ask for Jake. I need to speak to Jacob Black. He's the chief's son."

There was no reply and each of the car's passengers feared the worst as they briefly imagined a life without their larger than life father in it. Alice had just begun to cry quietly when an unfamiliar voice cut through the tense silence.

"Unidentified vehicle this is Jacob Black. Please identify yourself, your ship, I mean car, and your cargo."

Emmett let out a groan as he shot a look toward his sister. "A Star Wars nerd?" he hissed recognizing the quote. "You have us holing up during the zombie apocalypse with a Star Wars nerd? Really Bella? What made you think some scrawny, pimple faced nerd would be a good ally during a zombie invasion? Why couldn't you find us a Rambo?"

"Okay first of all," Bella defended, "Jake is none of those things and once you meet him you're going to be thankful he's on our side, trust me. Secondly, what's with all the Sylvester Stallone movie references? Was there a marathon on or something?"

"Yes there was and that's not the point Bella," Emmett warned testily.

"Whatever Emmett, I don't have time for this," she snapped before pushing the small button. "Jake, it's Bella."

"Phew, I thought that was you Bells but I couldn't be too sure. Is this mustachio with you as well?"

"Yeah, that's my Dad Charlie."

"Shit. He's a cop isn't he?" Jake asked.

"Yeah and you might want to take it easy on him, he's pissed at me already. No need to give the guy a coronary."

"Sure sure," Jake replied dismissively. "How much longer till you get here?"

"Not too much longer, we're coming up on the cultural center now."

"Great well we'll be waiting for you."

Satisfied, Bella passed the CB forward and leaned eagerly forward as they approached the large building.

"This is where we're staying?" Alice asked unsure.

"No," Bella rolled her eyes. "We're staying up there," she pointed to the large mesa that appeared to have sprouted from nothing in the middle of the desert.

"Up there?" Alice squeaked her fear of heights pressing heavily down upon her. "What the hell's up there?"

"Don't worry," Bella assured her. "It's hard to see from this angle but there is an entire village up there. It's the safest place for us. We'll be almost four-hundred feet from the desert floor and surrounded by sheer cliffs. There's no way anything could reach us. There's only one road in and once we demolish it we'll hardly even have to keep watch. We'll be safe here in Sky City."

"We're going to be trapped up there?" Emmett asked as he drove toward the large building.

"Of course not, that would be stupid. There's a hidden staircase up the mesa. It's been there for centuries and is perfectly safe. We'll just have to climb up and down it to get supplies."

"Well what about the cars?" Emmett asked concerned.

"They'll be safe, I promise."She assured him. "We'll be storing all of them down here at the cultural center since we're still going to need them to retrieve supplies once the initial outbreak is over."

"So there's a village up there?" Alice asked astounded as she tried to peer through the windshield. "So we're going to be okay right? They have food and electricity and stuff."

Bella grimaced slightly. "Food yes, electricity and water, not so much."

"What do you mean , not so much?"

"I mean we're bringing in water and they have reserves but there is no running water and the only electricity comes from the generators they use every once in awhile."

Alice's eyes grew wide. "Do you mean to tell me you have dragged me out here to live somewhere without flushing toilets?"

"Well yeah but the power plants are going to be shutting down soon anyway. Soon electricity will be a thing of the past and most water supplies are going to be too tainted to use for some time. It's something you're going to have to get used no matter where we are." Bella explained.

Alice's mouth set in a hard line but she made no more comments as Emmett pulled the Jeep into the largely deserted parking lot and rolled up to a group of men standing around Bella's truck.

Before Bella could hop out of the Jeep, he grabbed her hand. "You sure we can trust these guys Bells?" he asked as he and Alice eyed the large men warily.

"I would trust them with my life," Bella replied seriously before jumping from the truck and throwing herself happily into the open arms of the largest guy any of them had ever seen.

"Huh, I guess she did find us a Rambo type," Emmett remarked as he sized up the behemoth of a man currently spinning his squealing sister in circles. "I wonder if there are any hot chicks up there," Emmett mused before Alice smacked him upside the back of his large curly head in disgust.

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This story is so ridiculously easy to write that I can't seem to stop! Anyway the Swans have arrived safely at Sky City without too much zombie interference which isn't too fun so the groaning undead will be making an appearance soon along with a certain ex-boyfriend I know you're all curious about! Leave me some love and any ideas you have!

XOXO,

Bellarella