Sherlock stumbled backwards slightly, gingerly touching his cheek where John had just punched him. He winced as he stared at John who was standing in the doorway with his fists clenched and tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Wh-John?"
John just shook his head, sinking to the floor. Sobs racked his body as he dug his fingers in his hair. Sherlock stepped forward and knelt on the floor next to him slowly and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, trying to comfort him.
"John, I'm so sorry I never meant to hurt you this much." He said quietly.
John just sobbed, not being able to say anything until finally he managed to croak out.
"Why did you leave, Sherlock?"
"I had to John, Moriarty would have killed you otherwise…I had to save you, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if you had been killed."
John stared up at Sherlock, eyes wide with confusion and fear.
"W-what?"
"Moriarty had snipers set to kill you if I didn't jump. There were only two ways to stop them, he had some sort of code word to stop them which only he knew…but he shot himself before I could get it out of him, so I had to pretend to die. I'm sorry, John. I would've come back sooner if I could have."
"Why?"
"Moriarty wanted to break me, break you. He was a psychopath."
John shook his head, trying to understand. Everything he has been though, all the pain, the loneliness and now suddenly his best friend was back? It just didn't make sense.
"I watched you every day, John. To check you were still in one piece." Sherlock said softly.
"Well I wasn't Sherlock, I haven't been in one piece ever since I saw you die"
John's voice began to get louder again; he was angry, very angry.
"I know." Sherlock replied quietly.
John shrugged Sherlock's hand off of his shoulder. Staring him in the eyes, shouting at him.
"Oh, so you do know? You know that I was so alone, I didn't know what to do with myself… that I wanted to kill myself?"
John bit down on his lip, wishing he hadn't told Sherlock that.