Let Me Be Your Cigarette

Today's song is Let Me Be Your Cigarette by Dax Riggs.

"So, how you holdin' up Bells?" Jacob asked as he fixed her with a serious look and set his empty plate aside.

Bella shrugged and hit her lip. "You know, okay I guess. I mean as well as can be expected for someone who has been forced to kill not only her own neighbor but a shit ton of other rotting corpses that would like nothing better that taking a bite out of this sweet ass." She reached back and slapped at her own ass to illustrate her point.

Jacob just quirked his bushy eyebrows in response. "So you're coping then?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Bella!" Alice's voice disturbed the comfortable atmosphere and echoed through the plaza in which the two friends were currently seated. What the hell is this?" she demanded, waving a scrap of dark fabric around.

Bella looked toward the heavens and tried to come up with at least six reasons why it would be bad to murder her younger sister. When she got stuck at number three, she gave up and turned her head toward Alice who was now standing impatiently before her.

Alice looked like a stereotypical bitch. She had her feet were spread apart, hip jutted out to the side and had one hand on her hip while the other dangled the offending piece of fabric which Bella recognized as her favorite shirt, from her perfectly manicured fingers.

"What is this?" Alice demanded again while shoving the shirt into Bella's face before dropping it into her lap. "I opened my suitcase and found- that." She shuddered and pointed to the shirt as thought it were some kind of slimy disgusting creature. "I know you don't seriously expect me to wear that, that, thing."

Bella took a deep breath and let it out slowly while beside her Jacob as wracked with laughter. "No Alice," she answered with a roll of her eyes, "of course I wouldn't expect you to wear something like this," she motioned toward the careworn shirt lying crumpled in her lap. "You obviously got the suitcases mixed up. Try the other one. I'm sure you'll find the clothes in there more to your standards."

"They had better be," Alice huffed as she turned haughtily on her heel and headed back the way she had come with what was apparently meant to be a sexy sway of her hips.

Beside her Jacob was now howling with laughter as large tears streamed down his face. "Shut up!" Bella chastised as she smacked him causing him to fall over and curl into the fetal position as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Sorry, sorry," he gasped while wiping the tears from his eyes. "I just can't help it, she's ridiculous! How do you stand it?"

"Years and years of forced interactions," she admitted with a wry smile. "She was always spoiled but she was never quite this bad until a few years ago."

"Really?" Jacob asked in disbelief. "What happened?"

Bella looked away from his curious dark eyes and toward the blazing fire currently providing the only source of heat in the pueblo. She was silent for a minute as she allowed herself to remember a vibrant pair of emerald green eyes as well as a sinister pair of icy blue.

"A whole lot of bullshit," she answered wearily as she got unsteadily to her feet.

"You going to bed already?"

"Yeah, it's been a long couple of days and I really don't count passing out because of a concussion as rest. I feel like I could sleep like the de-," she paused of a moment as she rethought her words. She was going to say she felt like she could sleep like the dead but these days the dead weren't doing much of that. "Like a baby."

"Aight Bells," Jacob said while unfolding his large frame and rising to his feet. "You get some rest and don't worry about anything. The boys are watching both ways up the mesa. There's no way anything is getting up here tonight," he assured her as they walked toward the house the Swans had been assigned to. Of course even with all the assurances in the world Bella knew she would be sleeping with a gun under her pillow but she decided it wasn't necessary to share that fact.

Stopping at the doorway of the large adobe home, Bella turned and threw her arms around the gentle giant's waist since that's all she could reach. "Thanks Jake, for everything," she mumbled appreciatively into his broad chest. "You know you keep trying to make me feel better when I should be focusing on you. How are you holding up?"

Jacob's usually jovial face grew grim and he released Bella to massage his temples. "It's been- rough," he admitted heavily as he dropped his hands to his sides. "I still can't believe we lost all of them like that, it's just so unreal and I can't help but blame myself. If I hadn't been such an ass I would have been there and maybe things would have been different. Maybe at least one of them would still be-"

He choked up as he recalled all of the faces of those who had been lost. He had just come to the faces it was hardest for him to think about when he felt a small hand on his bicep pulling himself back into the real world.

"Don't beat yourself up, it wasn't your fault," she assured him with conviction in her voice. "If you had been there, chances are you would have died that day as well. There is no use living in the past trust me. No matter how much you wish for it, there's no way to go back and change the past. The only thing we can do is remember those we lost and move forward one day at a time."

It was silent for a few seconds as the two friends regarded one another seriously until the corners of Jacob's mouth began to twitch before splitting into a wide grin.

"That was way deep Bells. Did you come up with that all on your own or did you steal it from a fortune cookie or some shit?"

"No," Bella pouted before she too broke and allowed herself to smile. "Sally Jesse Raphael," she admitted with a laugh as a light blush colored her features.

"No shit? That bitch really knows her shit?"

"Right?"

"Well now that out deep, thought provoking moment is over, I'll let you get to bed."

"Alright, night. Oh and Jake make sure I'm awake before you blast the road. I want to see that shit!"

"Sure, sure. See you mañana Bells. Oh and remember to put the safety on the gun. No point in ruining a perfectly good pillow," he chuckled as he dodged her balled fist headed for his kidneys. "Sweet dreams," he sang as he jogged laughingly into the night.

"Asshole," Bella muttered with a smile as she stepped inside the doorway.

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Let me just say that you are all really benefiting by my inability to concentrate during Physics. Maybe the gum chewing, desk humping Neanderthal that sits next to me is my muse either that or I am just bored to tears.

Anyway, let me say that I am blown away by the amazing responses I have received to this story. Those of you who have left me comments have really blown my mind and keep me writing at such a furious pace. For those of you who are concerned, I will kind to Jacob, sort of. What fun would a story be without drama and in case you haven't noticed, this story is freaking full of it. Well while you wait anxiously for the next chapter in which Edward takes a shower (my god is it getting hot in here?) please leave me some love and tell me what you think, say hi, give me some suggestions, or whatever. Until next time my lovelies!

XOXO,

Bellarella