Here's an update of this older story, thanks for reading it and thanks for the feedback!

She woke up with a start drenched in sweat, her heart beating rapidly in her chest but when she opened her eyes, she just saw meadow and trees, and felt a hot breeze pass across her face.

And she knew she hadn't been alone when he reached for her.

"C.J…what's going on?"

Her vision sharpened and she saw Matt's worried face looking down at her. She sat up slowly and looked around her, the two of them sitting on a blanket underneath a tree with wide leafy branches.

"We're…"

"We were having some lunch and you must have nodded off," he said, "The day's really hot so it's not a bad time for it."

She covered her face with her hands.

"God for a moment there…"

He heard the fear in her voice, mixed with confusion and relief. He wondered where she had just been, what part of her past because he knew she hid parts of it from him. Frustrating, given that he was trying to help her get murder charges dropped and any one of those pieces she hid, could be the one that pointed away from her and towards who really killed Dylan. He rubbed her back, soothingly and her breathing became more even.

"What were you dreaming about that made you wake up like that?"

She looked away from him out towards another grove of trees.

"It's nothing…"

He sighed, looking directly into her eyes.

"It's not nothing C.J.," he said, "It's this cloud that you've got hanging over you and I know that Dylan's a part of it."

"You don't know anything," she said, "Really it's just the stress of being under indictment that's all."

Matt ran his hand through his hair in frustration but the expression in her eyes told him not to push hit. He knew that she hadn't killed Dylan but he also knew that she hadn't told him the whole story of what had happened between the two of them.

"And it's being back here," she said, "When I walked away last time I thought it was for good."

He stroked the hair off of her face.

"So did I…but we're back now but only until we get this sorted out," he said, "until we found out who really killed Dylan."

She sighed.

"Not exactly a short list Houston and I was on it," she said, "I told him I wanted him dead."

He narrowed his eyes.

"Why…can't you tell me that much," he asked.

She looked at him and saw that he really wanted to know but she just couldn't get the words out the way she wanted. Something inside her kept them hidden, she knew if she tried to say them she would stumble.

"I don't think it will change anything," she said, "Dylan's dead and I didn't do it but I'm not really sure I'm upset it about it either."

"No one seems really upset about it," Matt noted, "Certainly not his own wife."

She shrugged.

"He wasn't really someone you missed Houston," she said, "He wasn't very well liked. He got tossed out of the Wrangler's more than once for fighting."

Like the nights he had followed her as she had walked home from Jack's office home. Nadine had come to her complaining more than once and others too that Dylan wouldn't be out too late and too slow coming back home if it weren't for them. She just had this belief running through her head that every young woman in town that wasn't attached had been after her husband. Sure, a couple here and there maybe but the majority of the town's female population didn't really like him much. Some brave souls would try to explain to Nadine why but she never listened. She blamed the messenger not her husband for his own behavior.

Even now that he had been discovered dead, reduced to mere bones and not much flesh in between him and his regular clothes, Nadine still pointed the finger at everyone else for luring her husband away from where he had belonged. When even she had to know that no one, certainly no woman, told Dylan what to do, and C.J. knew that Nadine had the bruises and cuts to show for it.

But when it came to the injuries that Dylan had inflicted on her, Nadine's memory ran pretty short. Much shorter than her own as it turned out.

"Yeah, I bet most of the women in town have stories about him," Matt said, "Maybe even some police reports."

C.J. thought about it and then shook her head slowly.

"I don't think so Houston," she said, "You have to remember he was a reserve deputy part-time and that gave him protection from being investigated himself for any crimes. It's an unspoken rule under the sheriff in place back then and that clearly hasn't changed since."

Matt sighed.

"Maybe not…but maybe we'd better check," he said, "Didn't you file something against him?"

C.J. rubbed her forehead.

"I…it's nothing," she said, "They ignored it anyway."

It didn't look like it was nothing judging by the quick expression that passed through her face before she tried to look unaffected, but he had known her for an awfully long time, too long not to see when she was hiding something.

"C.J. why don't you just tell me about it," he asked softly, "You know you can tell me anything. You do trust me."

She nodded, because sure she did, she trusted him with her own life. She trusted him more than she did anyone else but about this…it was ancient history anyway and talking about it wouldn't accomplish anything, it wouldn't change the past and it certainly wouldn't clear her of murder charges.

"There's nothing really to say Houston," she said, "What's past is past after all."

She sensed the frustration within him at her words.

"What's in the past might have to do with Dylan's murder."

She just looked at him, without blinking.

"Precisely," she said, "Which is why it might be better not to talk about it."

She stood up and brushed off her jeans and Matt joined her and they stood beneath the tree, somewhat at a loss of what to say because they had reached an impasse, one that he desperately wanted to bridge but without her help, not possible.

At least not right now…not that Matt had ever been a man to give up on something that really mattered and nothing did more than the woman in front of him.

"But is Nadine blaming me for her husband's murder because she's trying to deflect suspicion off herself or because she doesn't know who did it?"

Matt considered both possibilities and honestly, one didn't seem any more probable than the other. So much about the situation remained a mystery of him not the least of which was the history of Wild Fork at least the corner of it impacted by Dylan's life and his untimely death.

"I don't know C.J. but I'm not sure we're going to find out from her," he said, as they put away the blanket in Matt's saddlebag. They both got back on their horses that they had left tied to a tree to graze and took off back across the meadow to Roy's ranch.

C.J. had always enjoyed riding around the vast expanse owned by Roy that would be passed on to his son, Will. She had found peace in the midst of great turmoil during times in her life simply by riding, alone or with the man next to her. The one whose path had been interwoven along with hers even when they had drifted apart, through his relationship with Christina or other women or his stint in the military where they all thought they had lost Will and during the thankfully few emotional rifts between them.

Like when…but she focused ahead on the line of trees that would tell them they were approaching the main barn. Where no doubt Bo and Lamar would be carrying out the same chores they had on Bill's ranch across the valley, Matt's own flirtation with ranching in the Santa Monica Mountains and now Roy's newly discovered spread where they stayed now.

They approached the barn and saw Lamar in the paddock lunging a palomino yearling while Bo sat on the fence and yelled suggestions at him. A trip down memory lane for both Matt and C.J, as was the barn where they had spent a lot of their time including one very special interlude…to her anyway. To Matt, an intermission between two separate episodes of his tumultuous relationship with Christina, but for her much different, it had reignited a part of her she thought had died inside her. Not that she had ever told him that.

Matt led his horse in the barn and C.J. followed and they both stood them side by side to unsaddle them and put them back in their stalls.

"It's amazing how great this barn still looks after all these years," she said, "Still sturdy and strong."

Matt stroked his jaw.

"Yeah my uncle had it built before I was even born," he said, "Had his first horses here even though he was busy with you know…his other life most of the time so my Aunt Flo and Will hired some hands to fill in during his absences."

But when Roy had come home, tightlipped and sometimes troubled from his assignments, he had allowed the ranching lifestyle to engulf him again, spending hours from sunrise to sunset working the horses and the land that nurtured them. In the past few days, Matt had seen that side of his uncle again and wondered how easy it would be for him to return to L.A. Especially when Will arrived with his new family to settle in the ranch house, no doubt finding the tranquility of the valley important in his own continuing healing from his years spent as a POW.

"I really enjoyed spending hours in here with the horses, or just sitting on the hay bales and reading law books, to keep myself up to date even when I quit."

They put their horses away and then stood there looking at them. He slipped his arm around her waist and drew her close.

"I remember something else…a very special night we spent together…"

She looked at him, placing her hand on his chest.

"It meant that much to you, really?"

He nodded.

"It meant everything…though I didn't know it at the time and I'm sorry about that," he said, "especially considering we almost created a life together."

She felt warmth in her face.

"Well Houston…you were torn up over what was going on with Christina…you two were drifting apart and I know you didn't want that so I didn't push you to change that because we…"

He cupped her chin in his hand.

"Because we acted on our feelings," he said, "You know we were both dancing around them for a long time…and I wasn't honest to Christina about that."

C.J. enjoyed the feel of his touch as she always did and when he drew her closer for a kiss, she sure as hell wasn't going to complain about it. When they separated, Matt shot her a slow smile.

"Yeah…this barn's sure a great place for many things…"

She just shook her head at him as they continued onto the house. Roy sat on the back veranda reading a book and looked up at him.

"How was your ride?"

Matt looked at C.J.

"We saw those beautiful new trees that grew from those saplings we planted some years ago," he said, "and they provide great shade on these hot days."

Roy nodded.

"Oh C.J. your lawyer, Rusty, called you," he said, "He wants to meet with you tomorrow morning when he's in town, something about having problems getting discovery…he wants to file a motion."

C.J. snorted.

"Not sure that's going to help loosen the grip on the evidence they claim they gathered against me but I admire his work ethic."

Matt rubbed her back.

"C.J…"

"No Houston…this small town hasn't changed a bit and if there's anything that clears me, it's going to take more than a dozen motions to shake it loose and I know that evidence is out there because I didn't kill Dylan."

"I know you didn't…and we'll find that proof that you didn't."

She sighed, taking his hand and drawing him to sit on the chaise with her.

"Houston…why is it that this is how it works in a system that's founded on the principle of innocence until proven guilt?"

"I don't know C.J. but we're going to turn this system around to get you out of this mess," he said, "and then we're going back to L.A."

God, she couldn't wait until that day came but the problem was, she couldn't see it. She tried to share his faith, but at night, when the world that held her attention during the day receded at night leaving her alone with her fears.

The fear that she would be convicted and sentenced to prison for a crime she didn't commit. That she would be separated forever from the man she had waited most of her life to love. The one she wanted to give so much too, yet if it remained to be taken away, she would keep all that to herself so she wouldn't hurt anyone. So she wouldn't be badly hurt herself.

That's why she remained silent about bits and pieces of the time period that she and Matt had lived thousands of miles apart. And to protect him from the truth.