Author's Note: I do NOT own any of the characters in this story! They all belong to Mr. Julian Fellowes.

Also: Okay, so we're still in the Series 2 Christmas Special, seeing as how so much happens between Anna and Mr. Bates in that single episode.

Honestly, I don't know if this chapter is as good as the first two. I feel it's kinda boring. But either way, I like it, and I hope you do too!

Thank you so much for the reviews! They mean so much to me! So far, I've had all good ones, and I hope you all keep reading! Thanks Again!

Much Love xoxo

Chapter 3

That night she snuck to the upstairs ballroom, but she did not dance. Instead, Anna sat in the middle of the room, staring at herself in the mirrors along the wall, and listened to the music played by her Mikiphone.

As the music played softly behind her, she thought about what she was going to do after everything happened with John. Ever since the trial and John's sentencing, every member of the staff had looked at her differently. As far as they knew, she was the wife of a murderer…A murderer who had once worked at Downton. To them, she was guilty by association.

However, Anna knew better. She knew that he was not a murderer. He was wrongly accused. John could never kill anyone. He was not that kind of a person. She knew him. She knew the real him. He could never do anything of the sort. And now, he was going to be punished for something that he didn't do. He was going to be punished in the worst way possible: death.

This thought resonated through her head, constantly resurfacing and making itself known, no matter how hard Anna tried to block it out. Every time it came to the forefront, Anna started shaking. She fought to chase the thought out of her mind with other things. She thought about the happy moments she had with John instead. She thought about the day he arrived at Downton, all of their conversations that they had that meant the world to her. She thought about the day he "proposed" to her in the courtyard, as well as their first kiss.

She then thought about the day they got married. She found herself smiling from ear to ear as she remembered their wedding night. Making love to him for the first time was one of the most incredible experiences she had ever had. That night, she found out what it meant to truly be in love, as well as what it meant to truly be loved by another person. She didn't think it was possible, but with every kiss they shared that night, she fell more and more in love with him. That night was Heaven. Lying in that bed with John was something that she will never forget.

She never thought that being a housemaid would bring her such happiness. But as she looked on it now, she could not imagine her life without her job, without Downton, and without John.

That's when reality came back to her and her eyes focused again on her own reflection. The fact still remained: in the very near future, John would be out of her life forever. However, at the same time, John would be everywhere. If she stayed at Downton, everywhere she went she would be reminded of him. Their beginning, end, and everything in-between were at Downton, and she didn't know if she would be able to handle all of that.

It was then that she decided that she had to leave. She couldn't be here without John…It just wouldn't be the same. The reminders of him would be everywhere, and she couldn't live like that. It would be her own personal Hell.

As she looked at herself in the mirror again she realized that the music had ended. She also realized that she was not crying anymore. As she stood up and made her way out of the room and back to her bedroom, she swore to herself that this was her final decision: Once John was gone, so was she. She would be gone from Downton.

As the search party made their way back to the house from searching for Lord Grantham's dog Isis, Anna decided this would be the most opportune time to talk to Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson together, to give them her notice. She knew Mrs. Hughes was in her sitting room, and when she saw Mr. Carson make his way in there as well, she stopped what she was doing, and made her way down the hall.

As she approached the door to Mrs. Hughes' room, she heard Mr. Carson saying, "As the widow of a murderer she'll have to get used to a degree of notoriety, I'm afraid. And so will we, as the house that shelters her."

She was definitely shocked to hear those words coming from his mouth, and she saw that he was just as shocked to see her in the doorway, obviously having heard what he had just said. As much as she was shocked, she was also incredibly hurt by what Mr. Carson had said. Was that the way they all felt about the situation? Was that how everyone saw her now? "Then let me put you out of your misery right away, Mr. Carson...by handing my notice."

Both the butler and the housekeeper just looked at her. Mr. Carson motioned for her to come into the room, and she did.

"You don't mean that." Mrs. Hughes said to her with a shake of her head.

"Yes, I do...If I stay here, I keep the story alive. If I go away to Scotland, say, or London, it'll die soon enough…I'll just be one more housemaid lost in the crowd." She swallowed back her tears and fidgeted with her hands as she said this.

Mr. Carson looked at Mrs. Hughes saying, "She has a point."

Mrs. Hughes looked at him incredulously, not understanding how he could be saying something like that. "Not one that I accept."

"I mean it, Mrs. Hughes…I do." Anna could definitely feel the tears now but she tried to fight them back.

Mr. Carson left the room, and Mrs. Hughes looked at her with what Anna saw as pity. She couldn't handle the feeling of the housekeeper's eyes on her anymore, so Anna turned around and followed Mr. Carson out of the room, and joined the rest of the staff in the servant's hall.

As she sat down in her regular seat, she couldn't help but think about what Mr. Carson had said. Then, when he came into the room and sat at the head of the table, she felt so ashamed, she couldn't even look at him.

"What will you do in America?" Anna asked Lady Mary as she buckled her shoe, getting Mary ready for dinner the next night.

Mary had decided to tell Richard Carlisle that she did not want to marry him anymore. Since Carlisle knew about her affair with the Turkish diplomat Kemal Pamuk, Mary had no choice but to move away once she broke off their engagement. Carlisle was no doubt going to spread the story around, and Mary would become notorious.

"What I do here. Pay calls and go to dinners. My grandmother has houses in New York and Newport. It'll be dull, but not uncomfortable." Mary fidgeted with her ring on her finger as she said this, seemingly distracted.

As Anna listened to Mary say this, a thought came to her mind: Lady Mary Crawley was by far the best friend that Anna had ever had. They were close. Their relationship was much more than any other master-servant relationship should be. Along with this, Anna realized that she did not want to lose that friendship. She could not lose the only other person who Anna thought really cared about her. "Milady...I've been thinking. If things go badly for us...I thought I might come with you."

"You mean you won't leave after all?"

"I have to leave Downton, but I…I don't have to leave you." What Anna wanted to say was that she didn't want to leave Mary. Right now, Mary was the only one that supported her, and Anna was not going to let Mary down when she needed support.

"But of course you can come with me. You don't need to ask. But let's not give up hope yet."

"No, milady. Let's not do that."

Anna turned and walked to the vanity where she picked up Lady Mary's black gloves. She brought them over to Mary, who was standing in front of her mirror. As she handed the first one to her, Anna asked, "So, Sir Richard's back?"

"I haven't seen him yet. He and Lord Hepworth only just arrived in time to change." Lady Mary said as she pulled on the glove.

"Are you ready?"

"I think so. I know what I have to say to him. It's time."

Anna wasn't sure why but she felt somewhat bad for Mary. Even though she was planning to leave the country, Mary's darkest secret was going to be exposed. Anna also felt guilty because she was partly the reason she had to tell Carlisle her secret in the first place.

Therefore, as Anna made her way downstairs, she was sure she made the right decision in going with Mary and standing by her side, just as Mary had done for her. Even still, it was going to be difficult.

Once Anna had made her way back downstairs, she decided she should talk to Mrs. Hughes about her decision to go to America with Lady Mary. She knew she had the time since everyone else was upstairs serving dinner.

She knocked on Mrs. Hughes' door, and from inside heard a "Yes?"

Anna pushed the door open as Mrs. Hughes rose from her chair and came around her desk to face Anna.

"I um…I just wanted to let you know that I've spoken with Lady Mary."

"What about?"

Anna fidgeted with her hands as she spoke, insecure and unsure about how to proceed. "About leaving. I've spoken to her, and she says that I can go along with her…To America."

"Oh. I see."

Anna nodded her head. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She fought them back, trying to show Mrs. Hughes that she was strong. She didn't want to seem like she couldn't handle it. "I've always wanted to see America, so at least I've got a plan."

"I suppose so. I still can't be glad you'll be leaving here, but it's good news that you won't be casting off entirely."

"It's only if, um…" Anna's voice cracked as the tears started to rise to the surface. She didn't understand why this was so difficult. She didn't understand why her heart was breaking at this very moment.

"I know. Just so as you know, you're highly valued by all of us, both of you…" Mrs. Hughes took a step towards Anna and took hold of her arm. She gave a soft squeeze as she continued, "…very highly valued."

Anna nodded. It was then that it all became clear. She then understood why it was so hard and why it hurt so much to admit to Mrs. Hughes that she was leaving: Downton was her home. It had been her home since she was sixteen years old. Everyone there was like her family. Granted, she'd still be with Lady Mary, but everyone else she knew and loved would be out of her life. In a way, she was losing everything, her husband just being the first to go.

It was then that Anna lost it. She began to sob. She couldn't fight back the tears any longer and she figured that Mrs. Hughes didn't care how strong Anna was. She cried in front of Mrs. Hughes for the first time. To Anna's great relief and gratitude, Mrs. Hughes stepped forward and embraced Anna. Anna hugged the housekeeper back. Without knowing, Mrs. Hughes gave Anna exactly what she had needed: Someone who cared enough to listen, giving her a shoulder to cry on, and allowing her to let out everything that she had kept bottled up and that no one else had seen.

In a way, Mrs. Hughes helped Anna. That night, Anna didn't dance. She didn't go to the ballroom at all. She went to bed at a decent hour and had a fairly good night's sleep. It was because of Mrs. Hughes' love and support that Anna was able to have faith in her decision to go to America. Surely, if Mrs. Hughes supported her, she'd be able to continue on...

Wouldn't she?