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Got a bit of a study-leave gap, so hopefully updates will be a bit quicker :p

Chapter Two – It Only Gets Less Manly From Here

~SMALL CITY (SECTION THREE)~

With a science-fiction-y whoosh, the teleporter in the city whirred to life and spun like helicopter blades, kicking up an alarming shower of sparks and dazzling lightshow.

One after the other, the RED Engineer, Pyro and Scout staggered out of the machine and stumbled onto the pavement. Beside them loomed the back of the department store, and the also the dumpster Scout had just fallen into.

"Engy…" Scout's muffled voice came from the depths of the dumpster, "Why's dis here?"

Engy shrugged, leaning casually on the edge of the skip;

"Had to hide the teleporter, son. So, here it is," he replied simply, watching Pyro unsuccessfully attempt to help its buddy out. When the two of them got well and truly stuck Engy just sighed, summoned his ENGY POWERS and picked up the dumpster.

With casual ease he flipped the thing upside down, sending his fellow mercs sprawling a little roughly on the ground.

Slightly in shock, the pair of them wordlessly followed Engy around to the front of the building.

~TOWN (SECTION SEVEN)~

Soldier, Sniper, and Demo all flew out of a different teleporter at the same time, attempting to pull off sick ninja poses but merely landing in a heap, crushing each other. The three morons scrambled up, only to abruptly slide sideways.

"WHY THE HELL ARE WE ON A ROOF!?" Soldier managed to scream in the three seconds it took them to hit the ground.

Distantly, as whisper on the wind, they heard Engy's voice saying, 'Had to hide the teleporters…'

Which was both creepy and kinda cool.

Years of what was ideally physical abuse gave the REDs the ability to regain their feet with little bother, and they had a wee look around themselves.

Town (number seven), if you recall, was the little place by the sea where the mercs jacked a boat. As a result, they didn't spend too much time there, which gives me a valid excuse to say there was in fact an appliance store there.

How the Soldier of all people knew this, the world will never know.

~CITY (SECTION ONE)~

And finally, Medic, Heavy and a slightly pissed off Spy made the teleporter transaction from the base to the city, narrowly avoiding a blunder straight into the walls of their respawn.

One last look back at Misadventures of the RED Team 2, kids!

These three had decided they would go food shopping, and the ideal place for that sort of activity was the shop that Spy got a part-time job in. The one with the top-hat-clad-fish-on-a-bicycle.

Medic made sure not to tell Spy this until the last possible moment, due to the whole traumatising 'getting maced' fiasco.

Either way, the mercs stepped clear of the spawn room and headed down the worn track to the city. There was a crap-ton of looming buildings, from nice opulent structures to towers of complete rubbish, so the whole finding the shop thing proved a small problem.

"Ach, how difficult can it be?" Medic asked no one in particular, flouncing away like he was off to see the wizard. (Not Merasmus.)

If only he'd been aware those were famous last words.

~SMALL CITY (THREE)~

"Wait a minute." Engy said, suddenly stopping short in the department store doorway. "Didn't we destroy this buildin' before…?"

"Nah, course not," Scout hand-waved, sauntering inside. Engy hesitated, a mask of suspicion clouding his features, then shrugged and entered the shop, Pyro tagging along.

Pyro, in fact, was giddier than usual; it was baby Balloondoonicorn's first day outside of the base, and the merc and parents couldn't be more proud. The four of them pranced along, singing a lovely little ditty about magic, much to the confusion of… well, everyone else.

Meanwhile, Scout was pick-pocketing the shopping list from Engy and generally making a fool of himself as he jumped all over the public place.

Oh yes. Civvie interactions.

Fortunately it was early Wednesday morning, so there weren't too many folks about. Unfortunately, that meant people there were instantly targets of the RED's insanity. Scout selected one such civvie at random and bounded obnoxiously into his field of vision.

"Heeey pally," he pseudo-greeted, "Mind if I stand on yer head so I can find stuff? Thanks." With nary a thought for anything the merc vaulted onto the guy's head and scouted the shop.

From where he was trying to stop Pyro climb some cardboard boxes, the Engineer saw what Scout was up to and scarpered over there.

"Now Scout," he said sternly, "Do ya recall Bein' In Public 101?" He briefly addressed the confused civvie "Hang on sir, Ah'll have 'im off in a sec."

"Just tryin' ta be helpful! Jeez," Scout pouted, not moving. Until he looked at the far corner. "HOLY CRAP IS THAT A BOX FORT!?"

One double jump, one loud crash and two confused men left standing there later, Scout and Pyro were hiding in a cardboard box fortress.

Engy started to wonder if this had been a good idea.

~TOWN (SEVEN)~

The town by the sea was nice, quiet and peaceful, so it was the perfect place for three aggressive mercenaries to party crash. I MEAN, perfectly easy to find the appliance store. Soldier led the way because he was actually sober.

"Oh we are gonna show. Them. Up!" he informed the others, "Fall in, men!"

"F-fall in wha?" Demo asked, giggling like a little sissie, "the seeeeaaaa?"

He and Sniper abruptly changed course and toddled toward the water. Soldier, interestingly, actually noticed the danger, and tried to stop them.

But they homed.

He turned them around. He pointed them in the direction – any direction – away from the sea. But they turned back. No matter what Solly did, the Sniper and Demo kept their one-track-mind approach like baby turtles for dat ocean.

Oh my God.

Imagine all the mercs as turtles.

Anyway, Soldier eventually just smacked them both upside the head with his shovel and dragged them to the appliance store.

~CITY (ONE)~

"I WON'T GO BACK! I WON'T GO BACK!"

"Honestly, Spy, it's just a shop."

"I'LL NEVER GO BACK! NEVER!"

Medic sighed wearily, scowling at the upside-down flailing Spy. Heavy, holding him by a single foot, casually walked on. He mentally tallied the awkward stares they received; well into the teens after just four minutes.

By some freak chance they had pretty much headed straight for the supermarket, a fact Spy unfortunately picked up on. Hence the whole 'Spy can fly but no really he can't' thing.

So that was all very well, but now they had a major, daunting challenge ahead.

An automatic door.

"Was zhis here before?" Medic frowned suspiciously at the door, adjusting his specs. Spy was too busy quaking in terror to reply, or even form a coherent sentence. All of a sudden, Heavy straightened up and cracked his neck.

"I WILL GO FIRST." He took a bold step in slow motion toward the door, ignoring the little voice at the back of his mind telling him there was heroism and blatant stupidity. One more pace. He could do it.

The Heavy Weapons Guy shuffled into position. Now came the tricky bit.

The door slowly slid open…

The most non-dramatic cliffhanger you ever did see :p

Thanks for reading! :)