Whoohoo! People got that reference! My life is complete :D
And yup, Playing With Danger is a TF2 song :p
If you got that expect a Pyro on a tricycle to deliver your free hats in three to five working days
Chapter Five – It's Called TEAM Fortress
~CITY (THREE)~
The REDs decided they had had enough shopping for one day. For one century. For eternity.
Scout and Pyro had indeed picked out a nice table for the rec room – nearly an exact replica of their current one, but still – and the Engineer used his ENGY POWERS to carry it along.
Because the manager was more dead than alive at this point, the only thing stopping them from walking out with the furniture was their conscience. Yes- conscience, singular; only Engy really had one. But an episode of sub-psychotic rage will do things to a person.
Pyro said something.
"The sense a' forebodin' is back?" Engy translated. "Wonder what that is…?" he mumbled thoughtfully, shifting the massive table more comfortably over his shoulder.
"Hey, hey, I'll bet ya Soldier's beatin' someone up, and Medic's, like, fightin' a giant bird or somethin'." Scout did that weird little laugh he tends to do while he bouncy-walked ahead of his teammates.
… Does no one else bouncy-walk? Is that just me?
Chuckling all mature-like, the three mercs arrived at the teleporter behind the building. Engy lobbed the table through and they followed it along, soon rematerialising in their base.
Interestingly, after they were through, on either side of them were great big flashes of light. Leaning on their new table, Pyro, Scout and Engy watched as Spy and Sniper appeared from other teleporters. They spotted their teammates and immediately began yelling;
"SOLDIER'S BEATIN' UP ALL THE STAFF AT THE APPLIANCE SHOP."
"MEDIC HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A GIANT PIGEON."
…
"What the crap?" Scout deadpanned.
"HALP!" the flustered support classes demanded at the same time, pointing very over-dramatically at the teleporters to Sections Seven and One. Balloonicorn and Reindoonicorn herded little Balloondoonicorn from the room, finding it was difficult to keep the baby from seeing too much violence while they lived with nine insane mercenaries.
Engy meanwhile worked stuff out.
"Scout, Pyro, go with Sniper, attack Soldier if ya have to. Ah'll go with Spah and find out what in the heck yer sayin' 'bout pigeons."
"BREAK!" The team all slapped an immense high five in the middle of the room, then leaped semi-gracefully into the teleporters.
~TOWN (SEVEN)~
Sniper, Scout and Pyro hurried through the seaside town, like one of those epic chase scenes in movies minus the epic. In other words they tripped over everything.
Nevertheless Sniper led them to the appliance store alive and in one piece. They tackled the door down – literally, it actually snapped off at the hinges – and hustled toward the commotion further inside. The mercs paused, seeing their Demoman slumped in a corner, but figured that could wait for now.
It wasn't hard to find Soldier.
"There is good news!" the man was bellowing, "You ladies give me an excuse to say 'maggot' more, you maggots!" His teammates hurried up to him as he punched the rest of the staff members in the face.
How unfortunate for them their uniform was blue.
"MAGGOTS."
Scout and Sniper blinked. We can assume Pyro did too.
"D'ya think we should stop him?" Scout enquired, like he wasn't fussed either way. Sniper considered for an unreasonable amount of time, then went with 'Yeah'.
Just like that the mercs snapped to action, the magically revived Demoman alongside.
"IT'S OOOONNNN!"
~CITY (ONE)~
Engy and Spy blundered into the walls of the RED respawn, having forgotten jumping through teleporters was a less-than-spectacular idea. Soundlessly agreeing not to mention that, the mercs hastened toward the supermarket.
After weaving through several side streets in what was supposedly a shortcut, they made it. To the entrance. Where the automatic door was.
Spy immediately began plotting, trying to figure out how they would get inside the building. Come to think of it, he had no idea how he had gotten out in the first place. Had he died or something…?
Distracted, the support class didn't notice how Engy simply strolled on through the door like it proved no challenge to his mighty wrath. Startled, Spy merely nipped in after him and pretended he wasn't in awe.
Meanwhile, as those two were taking their sweet old time, Heavy was busy attempting to work out what the Hell just happened. Of all the things he'd ever seen, experienced, heard about, this was by far the most peculiar.
The Russian proceeded to make a list of pros and cons, because that's the standard thing to do in any crisis. Con; a giant pigeon had just carried off Doctor. Pro; Medic was currently punching said pigeon, which meant he was very much alive and even more pissed off. Con; Medic was pissed off. Heavy knew bad things happened under that circumstance.
He was working on finding another pro.
"What." Usually, Engy went for longer phrases signifying 'WHAT THE HELL?' but only 'What' really seemed appropriate for the situation. Heavy turned to see him and the Spy arrive.
"… I don't know." He said flatly, well and truly confused.
They looked up in horrified curiosity to see Medic attempting to strangle to giant pigeon to no effect.
"ZHIS IS REEEEEALLY WEIRD!" the doctor proclaimed as the bird passed overhead. If the other REDs were about to reply they were interrupted by heavy footsteps on either side of them.
"Long time no see, RED Team."
OMG BLUS.
~TOWN (SEVEN)~
Under the assumption he wasn't paying attention to them, the four mercs were unpleasantly surprised when Soldier reacted quite expertly to their attack.
So expertly, in fact, that Sniper, Demo and Scout accidently smashed right into the civvies, and Pyro zipped straight out the window. Soldier watched his fellow offense class sail into the street with an air of puzzlement.
"When'd you get here? How did- GASP." And he actually said gasp, because Scout had the nerve to come here. "FREAKIN' YOU."
Unfortunately Scout couldn't see my previous narrative, so he didn't know why his teammate was so pissed at him. He did know that at the moment he, some civvies and a couple of teammates were in some kind of awkward Twister pose, and the socially acceptable thing to do would be to get out of it.
The Demoman extracted himself first and glared condescendingly at Soldier;
"Y'cannae attack civvies just 'cause they're wearin' blue! HAVE YE NO SHAME!?"
Soldier blinked, "No."
"Oh, aye, well then. We'll leave ye to it." Demo sauntered off to find some booze. While that was happening, Sniper was subtly telling the clueless civilians to get the Hell outta there by double-armed pointing at the door from behind Soldier's back.
He did this, of course, without realising he was actually standing in front of Soldier. He'd lost his glasses in the failed-attack.
Still running on instincts, Soldier shoved him out the way and moved to finish off the 'BLUs', only to be smashed upside the head by a toaster. Pyro wondered why Solly fell over at that, because as far as it knew that toaster was a fluffy pillow.
Nevertheless, the team figured shopping was done for the day and dragged everybody in the direction of the teleporter.
…
"Should we have called the police?" a civvie asked quietly in the following silence.
~CITY (ONE)~
Heavy, Spy and Engy all pivoted, intending to dramatically turn and face the BLU team.
Naturally they all spun the wrong way, ended up staring at each other in a cramped triangle shape and got uncomfortable. The BLUs waited politely as they sorted themselves out, absently watching the RED Medic and pigeon circle overhead in a death grip.
"You good?" a BLU Demoman checked after a good couple of minutes.
"Yeah, yeah we got it sorted," Engy replied, "Thanks."
"Oh, no problem, no problem!" BLU Spy said. "NOW WE KILL YOU."
The three REDs appeared genuinely surprised by this plot twist. Shocked, they waited for the classic 'enemy divulges all their plans' moment.
"See, we made a plan," BLU Soldier stated, right on queue. "Simple, but EFFECTIVE. Build a huge bird robot to take your Medic outta commission!"
"…Simple?" RED Spy repeated dubiously.
"Yeah, and, cuz we hadn't shown up in yer stories for ages, we were hopin' you'd underestimate us, so we could kill ya and take the base back," BLU Scout finished.
"Is good plan," RED Heavy mused approvingly. He noted how they were cornered in the aisle and how that was a nice little touch in the scheme. Similarly he realised the REDs didn't have weapons on them, because who needs them for shopping? Seriously.
Unless of course it's weapon shopping.
That's not the point. FIGHT!
*Alarm sounds* Intruder alert! Big exams coming up!
Won't see you guys for a wee while, but thanks so much for the reviews! :D