Chapter 31
- General Hospital NICU-
Monica entered the room quietly, her eyes drawn to her grandson held in Jason's arms. "She will be... soon."
"Have you heard from Kevin?" Jason smoothed a hand over the baby's head and the fine dusting of golden blond hair. "How is Elizabeth doing?"
The sigh that escaped Monica's lips set his teeth grinding together. "It's not an easy fix. I discussed Elizabeth's treatment with him and I agreed with his methods. Without the 'command' that Dr. Keenan worked into the hypnosis, we have to move carefully. Too much of a shock could hurt her... send her into a break with either reality." She touched Jason's shoulder and was surprised when he didn't pull away. "It might take awhile, Jason. It may be as simple as a few sessions or it might take months."
"Or years." He saw Monica flinch and knew he wasn't off the mark.
- Elizabeth's Room -
Elizabeth saw the white of her hospital gown.
The ends of her hair.
She saw the soft white skin of her neck and dropped the mirror into her lap.
"No."
"Elizabeth," Kevin was gently nudging her with his voice, "try again."
"No." She turned her head toward the drape covered window and looked as though she could stare right through it. "You can look in the mirror because you know what you'll see what you always see." She shook her head. "What if I look in there and I see... someone else entirely! What if I look in the mirror and see..." she drifted off, her eyes stark with worry.
- General Hospital NICU-
"Elizabeth's progress is slow, Jason, but that's only because we're not just working with some kind of physical injury," she let the baby grasp one of her fingers in his hand, "or an emotional shock, but we're dealing with something completely confusing here." She pulled up a chair. "What ever this Dr. Keenan did... and under Ric Lansing's orders... we're flying in the dark here and Kevin isn't sure he can untangle this as quickly as we'd all like it to go."
"I should have been there for her, gotten her out of the Metro Court faster. I should have done more."
"You weren't anywhere near the MetroCourt when those men took everyone hostage. I couldn't have done anything from the hospital. Why do you assume it was your fault?"
"Because," Jason paused as the baby's fist bumped into his chest, "I should have been near Elizabeth. I should have been near our child." He shook his head. "It sounded crazy in my head. It sounds worse out loud."
Monica smoothed her hand down his arm. "You've always seen problems as something that you should fix. Even when you were... the other Jason you held yourself responsible for 'being there.'" She brushed her finger across the baby's cheek and watched as he turned toward her hand, his lips opening slightly. She got up to find the formula that the nurse had prepared for the baby. "I think that's why you got in the car with AJ before the accident." She handed the bottle to Jason and watched with pride as he shifted the baby to feed him. "Why you took care of Michael so well."
"I took care of Michael because he needed someone to take care of him. AJ was my brother, but I honestly don't remember why I got in the car. That's all gone."
Monica couldn't really add anything to his words.
Jason looked down at the baby and nodded. "I wonder what he'll be like when he grows up."
Giving Jason a shrug, she ventured an idea. "He'll ride a motorcycle around town and drive the girls crazy." Monica laughed at her own idea, a soft happy chuckle that brought a smile to Jason's lips as well.
"No," he turned the bottle slightly to make it easier for the baby to latch on, "he'll be more like Jason Quartermaine," he nodded, "he's got my genes... not my injury."
- Elizabeth's Room -
Kevin watched Elizabeth carefully. He couldn't bear the thought of pushing her too far too fast. No, he's seen her young son when he'd come with Audrey to the hospital and knew the love that the young boy felt for his mother. The two had each other from day one. Men had come and gone but Elizabeth and Cameron were a unit. They were sure in each other's love.
Love, that now, wasn't there... not yet... not in this time.
She refused to lift the mirror again. Horror paled her features every time she considered it. "I can't look at her again."
"The reflection is 'you,' Elizabeth... not just a 'her.'" He was calm and reasoned.
"It's all a mistake... it's a crazy freaky mistake!" She shook her head squeezed her eyes shut to lock out the world. "I can't look at her again."
"What's so wrong with 'her,' Elizabeth?" Kevin watched her carefully, hoping to see some sign of progress.
"She's sad..." her words were accompanied by a hiccup of a sob, "there's so much pain in her eyes."
"What do you think put it there?"
There was a long long pause as Elizabeth rocked on the bed. "I don't want to know. I don't. It's easier that way."
"Easier?" Kevin's laugh was a soft chuckle. "Easier isn't always better."
"No... but it's less scary."
"Scary?" Kevin folded his hands over his knee, his attention tuned to her every gesture and action. "What do you mean?"
"What do I mean?" Elizabeth's laughter was a bit too high pitched and a bit too tight to be normal. "Why does it have to mean anything?"
"A statement like that, Elizabeth, is always fraught with meaning."
"Maybe it's as simple as the fact that I don't want to open my eyes in the darkness... maybe I don't want to see what's there in the shadows. Maybe," she gasped, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I don't want to know that the gunfire I hear in my sleep is meant for me... or someone else I love." She nailed Kevin with a look. "I want my baby... with his dark hair and dark eyes... I want the reality in my head. I want what I expect to happen to happen. I want," she shook violently and curled up in a ball, "what I see in my he- in my head... in my head..."
Kevin watched in horror as Elizabeth's eyes rolled back and she convulsed. The monitors went wild and Kevin was nearly launched out of his chair as Epiphany and Emily barreled into the room. Epiphany shoved Kevin out of the door and pulled the curtain shut.
- General Hospital NICU -
Jason's chest clenched at the sound of the alarms. In his arms the baby began to fuss.
Over the loud speaker he heard the tight-voiced call for a Code... in Elizabeth's room.
He looked at the baby... at the isolette... at the room empty except for the two of them.
"Nurse? Nurse! I need help!" He looked down at the baby's blue eyes and the impossible fear he 'read' in them. "Something's wrong with your mother."
-Audrey's House-
Cameron wasn't having any of Audrey's reassurances. She had tried to explain it a thousand ways, but the problem with having a child... one that was both intelligent and willful... was that Cameron didn't just accept things that he was told. He'd learned the hard way that words were empty things if not backed up by action or visible proof. "I want to see my Mommy!"
Audrey flinched at the sound. She handled it the first hundred or so times, but now, his voice cracking along with her patience, he was starting to make himself sick. As if to prove his point, Cameron groaned and clutched his belly.
"What's the matter, Cameron?" Audrey sat down on the couch and drew Cameron toward her. "Something wrong with your tummy?"
The boy nodded and slumped over.
"Okay... okay," Audrey's voice was hollow with worry, "let's get your jacket and take you to General Hospital."