Gerald Loves Helga
(11 years old)

Gerald Johanssen sat peacefully, and alone, in the school cafeteria thankful that he now finally had the chance to eat his delicious home-made lunch. Not that his conversation with Helga hadn't been important, because it certainly had been, but that girl was taking up far too much of his spare time recently with all her crazy schemes and he just needed a moments rest.

However, it seemed the entirety of their sixth-grade class had other ideas for how Gerald might spend his lunch break today, as they had all approached his table and were looking at him rather expectantly.

"Uh... may I help you?" Gerald offered, a little annoyed by this sudden interruption, seeing as he was only two bites into his delicious sandwich.

Rhonda Wellington Lloyd tapped her foot impatiently, "You certainly can, Gerald." she informed him bluntly, looking at this moment somewhat like a vulture going for its prey.

"So, Gerald..." Sid began smoothly, sliding into the seat next to him, "Saw you talking to Helga before."

Gerald paled a little, it seemed the inevitable had come – people were getting suspicious, "Yeah? And?" he countered, hoping to sound fairly nonchalant about the situation.

"You two sure have been gettin' along much nicer these past few months n' all." Stinky observed loudly, as though he was trying to round up the attention of the entire cafeteria.

Gerald shrugged, "Helga's pretty cool actually, once you get to know her." at this comment he received a multitude of stupefied stares from his classmates, and he rolled his eyes at them, "Hey, it surprised me too."

"Oh Gerald, please..." Rhonda scoffed, "don't think we don't realise what's going on."

Gerald silently cursed to himself, he wasn't quite sure how to proceed from here, he was certain that coming out an confessing everything to the 'Princess' would earn him a verbal assault from Helga later on. 'Nice Helga' or not, she could still be pretty terrifying.

"Okay..." he began slowly, picking his words carefully, "Listen, Helga's not going to be happy if y-"

"Awww, look at that he's all concerned about Helga's feelings!" Harold chimed in, finishing off his little insult with that childish laugh of his.

Gerald glared at Harold, "Not just Helga's." he said firmly, hoping to remind his friends that some common decency could stand to be used in this situation.

Unfortunately, this only seemed to make the situation worse, as some of them were now openly snickering.

"Oh my!" Rhonda shrieked, "It's true, isn't it?"

Gerald winced, he supposed this was it, "What's true?"

Rhonda grinned, she looked like a Cheshire Cat, "You.." she began dramatically, pointing her manicured finger at Gerald, "are in love with Helga Pataki!"

Rhonda's 'conclusion' elicited several fits of laughter around the room and caused Gerald's jaw to drop, further than he imagined his jaw ever could drop.

"Rhonda!" he exclaimed, "I am n-"

"Gerald and Helga sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Harold, as usual, began to belt out at the very top of his lungs.

"Harold!" Gerald hissed, becoming more than a little stressed out by this situation, "Stop singing that, especially before Helga comes in here and hears you."

"Ain't ya told her yet, Gerald?" Stinky enquired.

Gerald groaned a little, "No! I-... Ugh, guys, no! I do not love Helga!"

"Oh sure you don't" Rhonda laughed, "I don't see what else could possibly explain your sudden little 'friendship'."

At that moment, the cafeteria doors swung open a little and in walked Arnold, who looked tired to say the least. He was looking rather dishevelled, an appearance Gerald could only assume Arnold had 'acquired' within the confines of a Janitor's Closet sometime within the last ten minutes.

Gerald, who was now in far too much of a panic to properly use his secret-keeping-mental-filtering system, immediately stood to his feet and pointed toward his best friend, "You!" he huffed loudly, "This is all your fault!"

Having absolutely no idea why his best friend was condemning him, nor why a large group of their classmates was huddled around him, Arnold simply stared at Gerald with quite a large amount of shock evident on his face and simply responded, "Huh?"

"I am going to kill you and Helga for this!" Gerald cried out, and immediately realised he had just dug the three of them, four if Phoebe was to show up at all, a very large hole and jumped right on in.

"Wait!" Rhonda suddenly exclaimed, now very interested in the blonde haired boy by the doorway, "What does Arnoldhave to do with this?"

Stinky stepped forward at that moment, "I guess Gerald done told Arnold all about them feelings he's been having for Miss Helga, and Arnold was supposed ta keep it a secret."

Arnold was now certainly paying full attention, "What!" he practically shouted, looking at Gerald in absolute confusion.

Gerald sighed a little, "They all think I'm in love with Helga." he explained.

For the first few moments, Arnold simply stood wide eyed making no noise, but after having time to fully process why and how his classmates may have come to that conclusion the young blonde boy practically exploded with laughter.

Sid frowned at this display, "Something funny is going on here."

"Gerald!" came the shout of a very familiar voice from just outside the doorway, "I need to talk to you about..." and then Helga's words tapered off a little, as she had just entered the cafeteria and realised that practically everybody she knew was standing in there and now staring directly at her, "Uh... hey losers, what's up?"

Rhonda smirked, "Oh, nothing Helga, we were just discussing how Gerald is in love with you."

"Tall hair boy?" Helga questioned, trying to hold back her giggles, "Sheesh, you must be outta real gossip Princess." and with that, she succumbed to her own laughing fit.

Stinky shook his head at her, "Aw, now don't go breakin' the boys heart." he warned her very seriously.

"Guys!" Gerald shouted, now thumping his fist against the table to recapture everybody's attention, "I do not love Helga!"

Rhonda, who had only just turned to face him again, rolled her eyes, "Then how do you explain all these secret little meetings you've been having with her?"

Frustration now at an all time high, Gerald simply shot back the most appropriately sarcastic response he could think of, "Secret meetings? I'm not the one who's been having 'secret little meetings' with Helga Pataki... Trust me!"

Helga now placed her hands firmly on her hips and scowled directly in Gerald's direction, hoping that possibly looks could and would kill, "Uh, gee thanks Geraldo." she hissed, "Why don't you just spell it out for them?"

Gerald did feel a little remorseful for his particularly revealing comment, especially considering the heart attack Helga was probably about to have and the distinct awkward blush on his best friends face. Wondering how he could possibly get everybody out of this mess unscathed, his thoughts were interrupted by yet another person entering the cafeteria.

Phoebe had a determined look on her face as she strode into the cafeteria, but her mission of locating Helga was cut shorter than anticipated when Helga turned out to be standing just inside the doorway.

"Criminy, Phoebe!" Helga said with an exasperated sigh, "This is not your best timing."

Phoebe was now a little concerned, considering Helga's words and also the simple fact that the cafeteria was eerily quiet and Gerald looked particularly stressed. "What seems to be the matter, Helga?" she asked quietly and calmly.

Helga's response was cut off by the impatient tone of Rhonda's voice, who now had her arms firmly crossed over her chest and was tapping her foot expectantly once again, "Yes Helga, please do tell us what exactly is the matter here?"

"Oh dear Helga..." Phoebe began nervously, flicking her eyes around the group of her very unimpressed peers, "are they suspicious about...?"

"Mhmmm..." Helga responded, her lips pursed tight in frustration and her head only giving a slight nod to in fact confirm Phoebe's question.

Considering her role as best friend and 'right-hand-woman' in this current sticky situation, Phoebe very nervously thought it may be best to deflect the attention away from Helga with a simple and strong denial of everybody's suspicious. Thus, the words that shakily exited her mouth went a little something like this... "Uh... Nothing's going on with Arnold and Helga!"

Helga immediately dropped her head into her hands and groaned, letting poor Phoebe know that her choice of words was more than unsatisfactory, even Gerald stared at her like she had completely lost it.

"Phoebe." Helga began in a scarily calm voice, "You're my best friend and you're very smart, but... you cannot handle pressure situations!"

Phoebe was about to apologise profusely to Helga, when she was cut off by the sudden chatter of their fellow students, who had finally had a moment fully process Phoebe's little contribution.

"Arnold..." Rhonda began, in bewilderment, "and... Helga?"

Harold simply removed his blue cap and scratched his oddly shaped head, "I don't get it..." he muttered loudly.

Sid, now believing he fully understood the situation, leapt forward with a gleam in his eyes and proclaimed, "Arnold loves Helga!" at the top of his lungs.

"No." Rhonda scolded, "Helga loves Arnold."

Sid huffed a little, "Oh yeah? What makes you think that?" he challenged her.

Rhonda rolled her eyes at the boy, "Uh, because she's always throwing spit-balls at him!" she clarified, as though it were simply obvious.

Stinky frowned at this, "That don't make much sense."

"Yes it does." Rhonda insisted, "It means she likes him!"

Sid, however, was certainly still not convinced by Rhonda's argument, "Nah, no way." he argued, "Helga's too mean to love somebody! I say it's Arnold – you know how he gets about girls..."

Stinky nodded at this observation, "Yeah, one's that don't love him back!" he added for emphasis.

"See?" Sid pushed, "Helga's a perfect fit."

Over to the side of Sid and Rhonda, Harold had finally caught on to the direction of the conversation and had picked up enough information to begin his favourite song once more, "Arnold and Helga, sittin' in a tree, K-I-"

"Excuse me." came a forceful voice, which stopped Harold mid-song, mainly because of who had just spoken in such an uncharacteristically loud way, "I'm ever so certain," Lila began, her voice now back to its normal pitch, "that they love each other and that it would be oh so rude of you to continue teasing them."

Helga, who had become considerably closer with her 'moral enemy' over the past year or so, officially decided in that moment to stop calling Lila 'Little Miss Perfect' all together and also to send her a gift basket and a huge thank you card tomorrow.

Arnold, after having been quiet for quite some time, now stepped forward "Lila's right guys," he informed them sternly, "you're all being immature."

"Harold.." Helga now piped up, a very deep scowl etched on her face, "if you ever sing that song again..." she warned, pushing her fist into her other hand to demonstrate just what she meant by her threat.

Seeming to understand, and fear this, very well Harold simply muttered "Madam Fortress Mommy." very lightly under his breath and took a big step backward, back over toward his table and his lunch.

Phoebe now had the chance to turn to her poor best friend and apologise, "I'm very sorry Helga."

Helga, despite feeling very emotionally tired after these shenanigans, smiled warmly at her best friend and gave a little shrug, "Eh, it's not so bad, at least now I can do this." and with that she picked up Arnold's hand in hers, turned to him and said, "Come on Football Head, let's get some lunch!"

Arnold however, quickly dropped her hand and moved his arm around her waist instead, "Whatever you say, Helga." he said with a lovesick smile as they headed off to enjoy their meals.

"Well I never." Rhonda muttered a little as she watched them leave.

Sid cocked his head a little, inspected them for a moment, and then turned back to Rhonda and Stinky, "They look pretty good together." he decided.

"Yeah..." Rhonda said honestly, "They really do."