Tegan's body seemed to resurrect from the dead as she slowly made her way about the hotel room that had become her temporary means of escape, fingers curling around the material of strewn-about shirts and pants, eyes charting every move she made before time she didn't have to waste ran out and she was zipping up the suitcase that wasn't even half full. She had fought back venom-filled outbursts upon the acceptance of her twin's call and agreed to come back to the bus, though she didn't have much choice now that her minimal clothing supply had run out.
Taking a step outside the personal tomb she'd managed to bury herself in, Tegan glowered at the sunshine that mocked the reality of the cold, harsh world. It seemed impossible to her how the world could go on, exist while she was so depressed, full of loathing for the entirety of humankind, including herself. She wanted to be able to laugh and go on walks and enjoy the rare weather that she hardly had the time to when on tour, but all she could think about was her cheating sister and the words they'd exchanged, all running throughout her mind like wildfire, consuming everything she was and thrusting her into the past where they didn't exist. It wasn't healthy, but she didn't care. She was closing herself into a cave of nostalgia, replacing people's faces with the memories that registered upon assessing them closer, even something as simple as a laugh, a head thrown to the side in innocent merriment caused her stomach to drop and a feeling of deep shame to encompass her whole being, snapping her back to reality as she reeled back in confusion, her eyes moving back and forth between the couples as she made her way back to the bus she didn't want to pack onto. There was a sick addiction to forcing herself to take in the scenes unfolding before her as she wove through crowds of lovesick teenagers and grown couples alike, the sights of new love all around provoking a nasty form of jealousy and hatred within the heart she now had under lock and key.
"Justine," The sound of gasps and drawls of empathy forced their way through her submerged train of thought, forcing her to turn, out of curiosity alone, and take in the moment that would most likely be more significant in their timeline than her own. She briefly thought back on when she was in love and in a relationship, laughing at the contrast between then and now, and how the display of affection before her would have made her coo right along with the crowd as she pulled her previous partner's hand closer to her side, pointing out the genuine picture-perfect proposal without a second thought, and how she was so very different now, burning holes into the back of the man's head as he clasped his sweetheart's hand between his own, repeating her name once more as if she hadn't heard him, when in reality he had complete control over all of her attention.
"Justine," he continued, eyes glistening with the same emotion that caused Tegan to cringe, pulling her back to all the instants in which she believed she had had the same fate in store for her before it all came crumbling down. She continued to watch, however; something within the depths of her chest compelling her to stay, the part of her that had been a self-diagnosed past addict, pining for the days she had lost love, the part of her that thought incessantly about love, and the masochistic part of her that grieved over love she'd never have all screaming at her to stay rooted in the spot she wished she could turn tail and dash from.
"I have loved you since the day we met, and I knew, I felt somewhere within me, within a door that wasn't opened yet, that we would be here, and I promised myself that I would make you the happiest woman in the world, that I would protect you... from anything and everything that made you cling tighter to me when you're scared. I felt you in my heart, before we even met, before I even knew you; I could feel you reaching out for me when I was at my lowest, when I wanted to leave it all behind..." The man's voice broke in unison with the woman's, her hands tightening in his hold. He seemed to take a breath to steady his resolve before continuing.
"You didn't want me to give up, even then, when you hadn't known me. I can't imagine a day without you now, and I look back to then and I think, 'how on Earth did I ever go without you?' and I know, somewhere, even now, when I'm not too sure, that I'll find the answer, because you're still right here, and you're still reaching out for me, and you always will, especially when I feel like breaking down. Justine, I need you more than the ocean needs its tide. You carry me to a better place, to a better me, and I'm asking you now, as the love of my life and the embodiment of my own personal red string of fate," pausing, the gentleman got down on one knee and retracted his hands from his fiancee's, pulling out a box with a beautiful, blue ring.
"Will you marry me?" He smiled, waiting for the momentum of his words to sink in, his girlfriend's head nodding as tears marked this day for ever into her memory, streaming down her face as she leant forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face into his neck as he lifted her up and twirled her around, the dress she was wearing flowing with the movement. Tegan could only think of how this stranger's wedding gown would look when the same action was repeated on a day that would be the last of their lives as a couple and their first as newlyweds, the first stage of such austere happiness opening the double doors for them as they honeymooned somewhere far away from her reality.
Although this was a very touching, emotional scene, Tegan managed to ruin it for herself with her own inappreciative sulkiness, pulling her body from the crowd and turning away to allow the just engaged their personal space, free from her bad attitude. She didn't want to risk the chance of being swept into another heart wrenching episode that would only be ruined by her individual suffering, so she continued on her path to where she thought the bus would be, begging whatever being hiding beyond the clouds for any means of distraction to knock her and her memory down, hopefully leaving her in an impact-induced state in which she wouldn't be able to remember where she was going or why she had to be there in the first place.
Her trek was slow but steady as she eventually made her way to the death-trap she would soon be calling home for the majority of her year, her mind hell bent on avoiding her sister at all costs until she could muster up the strength to look back on the scene that had just passed that would perhaps restore her faith in love and help her to forgive her twin for breaking her heart. She kept her eyes down as she reached out for the door handle, her ears pricking at the sound of two very familiar voices.
"No, Sara, I don't want to!"
"Please, Lindsey, you don't understand!"
There was a pause, in which Tegan could sense the tension and extreme urgency of an undecided matter being pressured into oblivion, and she could swear that the feeling of second-hand anxiety was half the reason she didn't rip the door right off its hinges and barge in.
"You know she won't believe me, Lindsey, please!"
Tegan's face took on the countenance of a poor soul stuck between the naivete of a second chance and the disbelief of someone who should have known better. She struggled to breathe as she fumbled with her suitcase before throwing it down altogether, tears stinging her tired eyes. She pulled the door back and stepped inside, the calmness of her actions far more frightening than being caught in the act.
"I want to know," she began, the low tone of her voice playing perfectly against the quiet the other two had left in their wake, "what is going on." She finished with a choked back sob, the vulnerability proving her previous irritation null and void. She started to cry once more, the renewal of tears causing the dam to break open.
"What the fuck!" She shouted, her fists curling tighter against her eyes as the stress finally broke her walls, blurred lines distinguishing Lindsey's frame from Sara's. "What the fuck is going on!"