Author's note: As a general/courtesy FYI, there is pegging in this chapter (if you don't know what that is, look it up). If that's not your thing (which is totally fine), I'll see you back here for "Lotus Tea" (which is gonna be hilarious).
Sometimes, the removal of one stick requires the introduction of a second.
The first three days are his and Korra's heart-to-heart is uneventful.
The mornings and afternoons are full of planning and plotting, inspections and information.
The nights are full of fun, laughter, and the Avatar (his dreams too).
Then on the fourth day (the fourth night, actually) he is heading back to the apartment and happens upon a Water Tribe novelty store. He notices that the shop carries sea prunes and asks the kindly old man behind the counter if he can get a special order.
An hour later he is climbing the apartment stairs; under his arm is a box of chocolate-covered sea prunes for him and Korra to share (or "share," as he fondly remembers the incident with the grapes in their early days).
When he puts his key in the lock and walks through the door, he is surprised to find a sumptuous spread laid out on the table: a large bowl of Narook's Noodles, several spring rolls, a helping of shrimp, three crabs, an alarmingly large vegetable medley and what looks like saber-tooth moose lion steaks. Two bottles of chilled rice wine are also atop the table.
"Wow," he says, astonished at the bounty lying before him.
"Heh heh," says Korra sheepishly, shifting from one foot to the other as she emerges from her hiding place in the bathroom. "Surprise?"
"Where did all this come from?"
"Your wallet," she confesses with a hesitant grin. "I may have nicked a few yuan while you were in the shower last night."
He locates his billfold, opens it and realizes that Korra's definition of "a few" is rather large.
He glares expectantly at her.
"Okay, so maybe 'a few' yuan is more than that." She waves a dismissive hand. "What does it matter? You can afford it and you know it."
"That is not the point-" But any further admonition is cut off by a sniff and a shriek of delight from the Avatar.
"Please tell me those are chocolate-covered sea prunes," she moans longingly, pointing at the box.
"I don't know, Korra..."
"Pleaaaaaa-"
"Yes," he says with a smile. "Yes they are."
"Gimme."
"After dinner."
"You're evil."
"After dinner."
"Ugh, fine."
Considering how much food Korra ordered, dinner is a swift and mostly silent affair punctuated only by the sound of Korra inhaling her food at an alarming rate and her furtive glances at the box of sweets.
"Slow down, you're going to make yourself sick," he says concernedly.
"Fno pfin, fno gn," she mumbles through a mouthful of spring roll.
Eventually the noodles, the rolls, two of the crab, half the vegetables and one of the steaks makes it into their stomachs. The untouched shrimp and the leftovers go into the icebox (he'll take them to the meeting tomorrow or drop them by the homeless shelter).
They each have a whole bottle of wine to themselves. Despite the high alcohol content, all the food that's been stuffed into his belly has so far mitigated the wine's effect on his body. Still, he does feel a little tipsy.
The second her plate is clean Korra dives for the box, rips it open and pops two of the fruits into her gaping maw.
He opens his mouth to ask how she can possibly have room for more after eating so much already, but thinks better of it. "Good?" he asks her.
"Smsh. M tryming tuh suhvu fe mumnt," she responds, a rapturous look on her face. She finally swallows. "When I was a kid, I had a really bad case of constipation," she explains. "My mom tried giving me sea prunes and prune juice but I refused both of them. She finally decided to get some chocolate - pretty pricey stuff at the South Pole - and covered the prunes in 'em. I've been addicted ever since." She looks desperately at him. "You have to show me where you got these."
She takes another prune out of the box and gratefully bites into it.
He can't help but laugh. "You're adorable when you're like this."
"Thut up," she says, but the smile tells him otherwise.
They're now lying on the bed, the both of them stripped down to their underwear, their lips locked together and their hands running gently over each others' bodies like fish in a stream.
The wine has kicked in just a little more, and while he's still coherent, the world has a dreamlike quality to it. They've been in this state for the last half-hour, he realizes, but he is in no hurry to move on just yet. Maybe things won't go any further tonight. Maybe we'll just stay right here.
Korra pulls back for a moment, her eyes suddenly filled with uncertainty. "I must confess, I had an ulterior motive for dinner."
"That's usually my thing," he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
She punches him in the shoulder. "Please don't. This is hard enough as it is."
"Korra, what's wrong?" he asks, sitting up.
She takes a deep breath. "Do you trust me, Amon?"
"Yes, of course."
"No…I mean, do you trust me? Really trust me?"
"Korra, if there's something about us that's bothering you…"
"Do you believe that I wouldn't intentionally hurt you? That I just want you to feel safe, comfortable and happy around me?"
"Korra, what-"
"Yes or no?"
You say "yes," and you might get more than you bargained for.
I love her. I've trusted her with the small things, the knowable things-The apartment doesn't count as big or unknowable?
My suggestion. My idea. Knowable. Predictable. But if I don't start trusting her with something big, something unknown, then I'll never fully learn to trust her at all.
Then say yes, and suffer the consequences.
"…yes Korra. I trust you."
She tugs on the hem of his underwear. "Then take these off, close your eyes, and stay right there."
He sits on the edge of the bed, the cold air of the apartment pressing against his naked body, and waits.
The wait is long and full of trepidation.
He has no idea what Korra is currently doing.
Well, that's not true. He has a little idea what she's doing.
She had rummaged under the bed for a bit, then retreated into the bathroom. He had heard running water at one point, some knocking and a couple muttered curses as well. Then what sounded like pacing, and a little shriek of frustration.
Finally, he hears a creak as the door opens – not by much, judging from how tiny the noise was.
"I'm coming out," comes Korra's voice through the crack. "Keep your eyes closed."
A pause.
"Promise me you won't freak out, okay?"
"Why would I?" He feels more confused than ever.
"Just promise, okay?"
"I promise that I won't freak out."
Warned you.
Shut it.
He hears a longer creak and the sound of approaching footsteps.
"Okay…open your eyes."
The first thing he notices is the negligee. Gone are the traditional, modest white wrappings that she so loves to wear. Instead, the Avatar is wearing a brassiere of black silk trimmed with lace; it hugs against her breasts, pushing them up and accentuating her incredible curves. A black garter belt circles around her waist, with four silk straps connecting to the thigh-length silk stockings framing her perfect legs.
The second thing he notices, however, gives him pause: it's the wooden phallus tucked between Korra's legs, the toy held firmly in place by a series of leather straps and leather backing around her pelvis.
His jaw falls and he tries to say something, anything, but his mouth is dry and there's an odd feeling in his abdomen that unnerves him.
"I know what you're probably thinking," babbles Korra. "Spirits, do I know what you're thinking. But please, please just hear me out. Just for a minute."
Words form - jumbled and confused and without meaning - but they stick in his throat.
"I thought about what you said a few days ago – about you and the Lieutenant, and about your dream with both of us – and I thought, 'I know exactly how he feels' – being in love with someone, trusting them with your heart…with your body…sometimes you do feel vulnerable. Exposed. I felt that way a lot in the beginning, with us…I still do sometimes…I mean, there's still so much I don't know about you, and you know everything there is to know about me-"
His manages to find his voice again. "Korra…"
"And then I remembered reading something in a pillow book...about something that some couples do...for fun, I mean, but also as a trust exercise...but I didn't know all the details, so I went to this really neat secret place that Asami mentioned to me and there was a really helpful lady there…I wasn't too specific or anything but...I got…this." She points to the dildo. "And at first I thought I should've asked you, but I figured with the dream and whatnot you were already sort of amenable to the idea...or maybe not..." Her voice gets quiet. "I know it's not the 'real thing,' and maybe that's what you really want instead-"
"Korra, this is not about Li-"
"I want you to be okay with what you want. I want you to be okay with telling me what you want." She closes her eyes and flushes red with embarrassment. "And I won't lie to you: the thought of you under me, of me inside you…fuck me, I didn't know how badly I wanted it until I knew I did." She fingers her shoulder. "I just wanted to…it's okay to let go. To trust me. To let me take care of you. To let me in." Her eyes widen. "Not like that – well, yes like that – this is not coming out the way the way I'd hoped-"
"I think that line is supposed to come later," he croaks.
It's supposed to be funny, but neither one laughs.
"Spirits, I've made a mistake," Korra murmurs, her eyes watering. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…" She starts heading for the bathroom, tugging at the straps around her legs.
But he remembers the dream, and the strange feeling he felt, and how nice it was to feel safe in the arms of people who loved him.
He gets up from the bed.
"Korra."
Part of him fights to keep the words down, but he forces them out, not just because he means them, but because he knows he'll never be the man she deserves if he can never say them out loud.
"I trust you."
She stops midstride and turns to stare at him with glistening eyes.
"I trust you not to hurt me."
He slowly walks over to her and places his hands on her shoulders, conscious of the wooden cock pressing against his hip.
"I trust you to be loving."
You can do this Noatak. You can do this.
"I trust you."
He has never been more thankful that Korra is a firebender, because having cold oil running into his ass would've been most unpleasant.
"Is this okay?" she asks nervously from the foot of the bed.
"It's fine, Korra," he responds, his muscles clenching reflexively behind him. He breathes deep into the pillow to calm himself.
Finally the flow of liquid stops. "I think that's enough for now. You can turn back over."
"Would it not be easier-"
"If we're going to do this, we're not going to hide from each other. I want to see your face, and you need to see mine."
He turns over and finds himself face to face with the thing again.
"Oh, sorry," she mumbles.
It wiggles just a little too much, and what sounds like a half pleasured gasp, half curse escapes from Korra's lips. "Too loose, I think," she says hastily. "How do you guys even deal with these things?"
She's nervous. If you're really going to do this, make her feel comfortable.
For once, he doesn't argue.
"We manage," he says, fixated on the reaction she'd had when the phallus moved. "How is this constructed?" he asks.
"This? Well, um…" she fumbles for words. "It's…wood. It's waterproofed, obviously. And there's a knob that goes inside-"
"So if I were to…" He gently pulls back and forth on the dildo, and Korra arches her back in response.
"Yep…I can feel it."
And suddenly he knows exactly what to do.
He slides his legs back and under, now kneeling on his elbows as Korra rests on her knees.
He leans forward.
"What are you-" she starts to ask, but then stops when his mouth slides around the wood.
"Oh."
It's wood.
It feels like wood and it tastes like wood.
But he knows what the real thing tastes and feels like, and so he has to make Korra believe that she has the real thing attached to her.
So he pulls and sucks and glides, and hopes that the knob inside her is pressing against all the right places. Korra's breathing gets heavier and her hands slide into his hair; their grip is painful but he knows that's not intentional. She begins to thrust in counterpoint to his movements.
She's learning.
She suddenly withdraws, the wood scraping harshly against his teeth, and she slides off the bed to catch her breath. "Too much," she says breathlessly. She smiles. "Man, you're really good at that."
"Someday you'll be just as good."
"I would if you let me practice on you more."
There's am awkward pause.
"Well, I suppose…" she says.
"Yes, I think…I think I'm ready," he finishes.
At first it's one finger, then two fingers, then three, but each one feels like someone is stuffing a buzzardwasp egg up his ass. Korra moves her digits in slow circles until his muscles relax and the strangeness of it all give way to an odd tingling sensation somewhere behind his balls.
"Are you sure you want to do this? Are you ready?"
He nods, though in all honesty he's not entirely sure.
She pours oil all over the wood and brings her hands to rest on his hips.
"Just say the word – any time – and I'll stop."
He nods again.
She scoots forward, lifting his legs up, and he can feel the tip pressing against his entrance.
"Relax, and push out."
It's pressing, it's pressing and then-
"...fuck."
His eyes scrunch shut; he wants to fight it, he wants to clamp down and end this and run away, but the voice whispers to him it's alright, let her in and he realizes that it's not just about the cock in his ass.
So he lets her in, slowly and steadily, with stops and starts, and more oil and a gentle rubbing on his hips, until he feels skin and leather pressed against the back of his thighs and the fullness of it inside him, and he finally musters enough courage to open his eyes and look up at the smiling woman above him.
"It's okay, love," she whispers. "I've got you. You're safe."
She starts moving unevenly, still unused to having a dick, but she quickly learns how to buck against him, and he in turn learns how to buck against her. He wraps his legs around Korra's waist, his hands bracing on her shoulders like she has done with him so many times before.
It's a profound experience, being on this side of things.
"I…I didn't know…" he gasp. "Is this what you-"
She leans over to kiss him, and the phallus presses something deep inside him, sending a spark through his body that turns the kiss into a strangled moan.
"There," he says harshly. "Do that again."
"Whatever you need," she says. "I've got you."
Korra never takes her eyes off his, not once, and with every passing second he can feel his armor melting away as if the heat surging from his loins to his entire body is burning away all the weight he has carried for so many years.
I trust you.
Every thrust carries him closer, and closer, and closer and it's painful but oh so good, and then she leans forward again and presses hard against him, and everything inside him explodes into a million tiny shards and his body is carried down the familiar river, except it's not; this is something deeper and more intimate than any release he's ever experienced.
He collapses into a sweaty, floppy heap on the bed.
"Holy shit," says a stunned Korra. "Holy shit."
"Don't move," he manages to say. "I need a moment to recover."
"…holy shit."
Apparently some parts of him needed less recovery time than others. "Was it good for you too?" he jokes.
"…hol-"
"Yes, Korra, I know. 'Holy shit,' indeed."
The toy is carefully removed and set aside on the floor (she'll clean it later), and she wipes the oil and seed from his body with a damp towel before tucking him into bed and settling in beside him.
"You didn't-" he begins.
"This night was about you," she says, softly cutting him off. "My ladybits will calm down soon enough." She strokes his cheek. "What I saw tonight was beautiful. And inspiring. And you should be proud of yourself. And Amon, I know it took a lot for you to-"
"Noatak," he blurts out.
"What?" she asks, sitting up.
"My name is Noatak," he says, idly stroking her collarbone. "Noa to friends and family." He smiles at her. "If a man trusts you enough to fuck him in the ass, then that man should trust you with his name."
"Really?"
"Really really."
"Noa," she repeats softly.
She kisses him on the lips.
"I really like that name."
Author's note/tract: Holy shit, this was the chapter (or chapters, given that I split it) I've been stressing out about the most since I decided to turn this thing from one-shots into a full-blown story.
I decided to make Lieumon canon after much internal debate, because I felt it added an extra dimension to the characters and their relationship (and b/c I ship it - not quite "die for," but I ship it). This meant that I would have to address said relationship in ways big and small (because many of the issues that Noatak had with Korra are the same he had with Lieu). But while dealing with the romantic aspects of the relationship was a piece of cake, I was then faced with the problem of how to characterize their sexual relationship, since I wanted Korra to be the one to "deflower" Amon as it were (cuz I'm a romantic like that, lol). Now it's true that intercourse is not a part of every romantic/sexual relationship...but this is a smut fic, and power bottom!Amon is easily one of the most delicious (potential) dynamics of the Lieumon ship.
*coughs*
...anyways.
So I decided to tie Noatak's lack of experience in that particular aspect of his sexual life to his trust/control/emotional issues, which as of now have pretty much all been dealt with. It also gives greater weight/context to the act of Korra pegging Noatak, which I had planned to do anyways back in the one-shots days (it was originally part of a three-shot miniseries, with some cucumber foodplay in part one, a much more lighthearted version of the "Apples" as part two, and the pegging chapter as the finale).
The trick was then figuring how to write the whole shebang as "Noatak is cool with dudes/assplay but has always been afraid to trust people with himself" without it being construed as "Noatak (and/or the author by proxy) is secretly a homophobic douchebag who thinks buttstuff is icky because 'GAAAY.'" Hopefully I got the tone right. If I didn't get it right, feel free to yell at me (see below).
tl;dr - This chapter was a big writing hump and I am thrilled to be over it.
As always: read, review, comment, yell about my mistakes (constructively), give ALL THE FEEDBACK. My thanks to everyone who has been reading or is starting to read. I really appreciate all of you.