A/N I do not own Vampire Knight nor do I make any profit from it

There is a love scene in this chapter between Sara and Takuma. It's in italics as always and, as always, it's very discreet.

Chapter 33 – Grief and Guilt

A shadow lingered over the Kuran household. No one knew what to say. Sadness was the only emotion felt among the family members and servants. The child, named Soichiro, had been buried within the day of his birth as he had shattered into a million pieces within minutes of being pronounced dead. Hikari had not shown an ounce of emotion during the funeral and burial. Kaname had tried to hold her hand throughout the service but Hikari always pulled her hand away. Hana, who also attended the funeral, cried bitterly blamed herself completely for the death of the child, despite everyone knowing that it was nobody's fault.

Hikari withdrew completely. She spoke to no one and a shell of her former self. For weeks, she took to her own bed and would not come out of her chambers for anything, not even for Haruka or Kaname. Kaname was equally as devastated. The child had been a son and a way to secure Hikari's position. Now, it felt like he had lost his wife. Hikari had withdrawn from him and his bed. It obviously wasn't the sex that was on his mind but he just wanted to hold her and grieve their child together.

Haruka had been left in the care of her grandparents. Juuri and her namesake grandfather were aggrieved by the loss of their second grandchild. They knew that it would be sometime before Hikari would even think of conceiving another child.

Kaname paced his bedroom restlessly one night. He was incredibly lonely without his wife. Hikari's warm presence had made him always look forward to the time they had to go bed. Just the feeling of her being in his arms made it all worthwhile.

Eventually, it all became too much for the young king. He had to see his wife and draw her out of her sadness somehow. Kaname walked from his room in a brisk walk to the other side of the manor. When he approached his wife's chamber, he didn't bother knocking. Opening the door, all he could see was Hikari lying on her double bed amongst her sheets.

"Hikari," Kaname whispered. Hikari didn't acknowledge him. Her back was to him with her silvery hair splayed out behind her. It shone in the moonlight and her pale skin seemed to reflect the moon perfectly, "Hikari, speak to me."

Still he received no answer. Kaname walked further into the room and closed the door behind him. Her small form appeared delicate and fragile. His heart broke, "Hikari, please… speak to me. I need you. I need to grieve with you. Please let me in."

Kaname heard a sob, "Kaname," he heard her mutter. Kaname walked around the bed and knelt beside it. Hikari's beautiful face was tearstained from her episodes of crying. Hikari seemed to stare right through him. She felt him place a hand delicately on her cheek. Hikari swatted him away and turned away from him. Kaname's breath hitched in his throat and he didn't know how to proceed.

Letting his body lead him, he climbed on the bed and placed his hands on either side of Hikari. The girl looked up at him blankly and without emotion. Kaname rested his forehead against hers and gazed deeply into her eyes, willing her to respond to him and read his emotions.

Kaname's eyes filled with tears and they spilt onto Hikari's cheeks. Hikari weakly placed her hands on Kaname's sides and they travelled to his cheeks, making him groan deeply with satisfaction. Kaname pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth and his hands travelled to her waist until his arms wrapped tightly around her once he was sure that she wasn't going to push him away. Hikari initially stiffened, "Don't push me away," Kaname growled into her neck. Hikari let out a sob. Hikari felt Kaname's hold on her loosen and, tenderly, his lips pressed against hers. It was a chaste kiss but it was no less intense. Tears streamed down her face as Hikari returned his embrace.

"Kaname, am I a bad person?"

Kaname shook his head silently and Hikari began to cry again, "It wasn't your fault, you know that? The baby was born dead. There was nothing we could do."

Hikari looked up at him an. He held her tightly, not wanting to let go, "Hikari… please don't withdraw from me. I love you more than I can ever hope to describe. You have changed me and taught me to love you. Please don't withdraw and abandon me to my own sorrow. Let's grieve together. We're man and wife and the child we made together has died. Therefore, we should be together in our sadness."

Hikari continued to sob and Kaname held her tighter. He sat up on the bed and he kissed her cheek tenderly, kissing away her tears. Hikari clung to him as she straddled and looked up at him, "How long has it been since you drank any blood," she asked.

"Since the birth," Kaname replied, "It's been weeks."

Hikari tilted her head to the side and revealed her neck to her mate. Kaname's eyes widened as he gazed at her, "Hikari, you don't have to…"

"You need me… you said it yourself," Hikari whispered, "Drink from me. It's how vampire lovers bond and share each other's emotions, no?"

Kaname frowned but nodded and leaned in to kiss her neck lovingly before licking it slowly and letting his fangs sink into her neck. Hikari whimpered and clung to him as he drank her blood greedily. He could taste her emotions such as her sadness and her grief. It was an intense feeling. This seemed to be the only way he could truly bond with his grieving wife seeing as sexual intimacy was out of the question whilst they were both still grieving. After all, they were both vampires.

Thinking about it, Kaname was aching to be with her but he knew he couldn't until he knew she was absolutely ready. Holding her tightly, he could feel her weak body

After a while, Kaname pulled back from her neck and Hikari licked the blood from around his lips, "Stay with me tonight, Kaname."

"Hikari, I am your husband and you are my wife. Where would you have me be if not with you," Kaname said with a bitter smile. Hikari buried her head in his neck and lay back on the bed. Hikari pulled the duvet over them to keep them warm. Kaname, for the first time in weeks, felt warmth and the feeling of being complete with his wife in his arms, "Good night, my little Hikari."

"Good night, my love," Hikari whispered. Tears still fell but they didn't feel quite so lonely anymore.

Meanwhile, Sara sat nursing her own baby son. Kiseki quietly suckled on his mother's breast whilst Sara hummed a lullaby. She had heard about Hikari's stillborn and had tried to get in contact with her friend but kept being told that Hikari was not speaking to anyone. Sara felt terrible for having a healthy baby and wondered if Hikari now resented her.

"I wouldn't worry," Takuma said as he sat on the bed next to her, "They will conceive another child when the time is right."

"I just worry for her. I haven't heard anything since the birth," Sara sighed sadly, "I wish that Hikari didn't have to go through that. She must resent me for bearing a healthy son."

"I don't think that's the case," Takuma said comfortingly. He wrapped an arm around his young wife's shoulders, "What about us having another child? Have you thought about it?"

"Yes, but not right now," Sara replied, "I have only just given birth to Kiseki. I don't want to make the same mistake that Hikari and Kaname did by conceiving too quickly after their first child. We should wait until Kiseki is walking and not dependent on my milk."

As Kiseki stopped suckling, Sara closed her dress carefully and stood up with Kiseki in her arms. She placed him in bassinet Takuma had bought for him and Sara turned back to her husband, "We haven't been intimate in a while… have we?"

"I've only been thinking of you, Sara," Takuma replied with a kind smile, "It's nice to know that you want me as much as I want you. However, before we do anything, have you taken your contraceptives lately?"

"Yes, I had some in my tea this morning," Sara said with a smile, letting the thin night gown she was wearing fall off her shoulders, threatening to fall the ground, "Don't you want me?"

"Of course I do," Takuma replied as Sara straddled his lap and began to kiss his neck teasingly. Her slender hands unbuttoned his white shirt as Takuma's hands caressed her petite yet womanly body, pulling her nightgown over her head. Takuma began to kiss her deeply, pressing her to him with his hands.

"It's been so long," Sara whispered as Takuma lay back on the bed, bringing her with him and flipping their positions. Takuma threw his shirt on the floor and Sara caressed his chest and back, "Make love to me, Takuma, I am yours to command."

Takuma growled uncharacteristically and kissed her savagely, feeling intensely empowered by his physical dominance over her. He knew that Sara could take control if she wished due to her own untainted strength as a pureblood vampire. However, he loved the satisfaction of having earned her trust and submission as her mate. Also, it helped that she was petite and much smaller than his much larger frame

That night, their bodies barely separated. They forgot everyone and everything, much to Sara's later guilt of forgetting about Hikari. Takuma had been very passionate as he fervently made sure his lover knew that he loved her. Sara pierced his neck with her fangs drinking greedily from her lover, causing Takuma to grip her tightly and to bring them closer to their climax.

"I feel guilty," Sara said as she laid her head on her husband's chest.

"Why," Takuma asked with a confused smile.

"Should we have just done this when we know that Kaname and Hikari are suffering? I also feel guilty because I bore a healthy son," Sara was about to speak when Takuma rolled her onto her back and kissed her deeply.

"We should not feel guilty for our own happiness. Whilst I feel bad for them, why should we abstain from our God given right to intimacy," Takuma said, an intense look in his emerald eyes, "We are husband and wife. Don't apologise for anything we have the right to do and don't apologise for bearing our son. It's not your fault their son was born dead."

Sara looked up at him and nodded, "You're right… I just feel so sorry for them."

"I know you do… you have a kind heart," Takuma said as he rested his forehead against hers, "Well, we should get some sleep."

Takuma pulled her to lie on his chest and he kissed the top of her head, "Sweet dreams, my sweet Sara."

"You too, my love," Sara whispered as she snuggled into him.

A/N Okay, don't kill me. I know that some of you do want to. But I felt it was necessary. I also had to add that Sara felt guilty for her birth of a healthy son. Of course, it wasn't her fault or anybody else's fault… except for mine obviously…