Chapter 2

"Uh-oh."

Alex bit her lip and glanced nervously at Gene as they pulled into the car park and meandered towards Gene's parking space. She actually saw the problem before he did. Partly that was due to Gene's belief in his universal parking rights being so strong that he simply did not believe that anything or anyone would have dared to park in his space.

But the big blue box caught Alex's eye before it caught Gene's and by the time he noticed it Alex had already braced herself for the fallout. She had a feeling this wasn't going to be pretty.

"Bolly," Gene's voice was flat and emotionless as he began, "In your expert opinion would you say that my parking space currently meets my expectations?" he paused momentarily as his face began to redden with a growing sense of fury, "Or has some micro-minded idiot actually parked a Smurf-coloured porta-loo in my ruddy place?"

Alex cringed and tried to slip as far back in her seat as possible.

"Gene," she began calmly, "this might be an excellent time for you to start those anger management lessons…"

"I don't need anger management," Gene hissed through gritted teeth, "I need to apply fist management to whoever dumped this blue bog in the place reserved for my deserving set of wheels!"

"Oh no," Alex groaned, putting a hand over her eyes as she shook her head .

"This is all your fault, Lady B," Gene told her, "you and your 'funny day' feelings."

"My feelings did not focus on portable toilets in the car park," Alex pointed out, then frowned, "Actually, that doesn't look like a toilet."

As Gene pulled up into the space beside it they were able to take a closer look at the blue box which had taken Gene's space so unexpectedly. They stepped out of the car and Gene began to circle it suspiciously, his brow adopting a deep scowl.

"I haven't seen one of these things since the day the first Missus Hunt broke her finger being crushed by a rough crowd buying bloody Yellow Submarine," he said, managing to look both pissed off and curious.

"No, the last time you saw one of those Paul McGann was stepping out of it on bank holiday Monday, two years ago," Alex shielded her eyes from the sun as her line of vision rose upward, taking in the details of the strange construction.

"If this is some sort of ruddy police history stunt I'm going to have to test it as a filing cabinet replacement on whoever the bastard was that planted this thing in my bloody parking space!" Gene's voice became a little higher and a little louder with every word, his temper flaring.

"They've probably left it here temporarily while we were on the stake-out," Alex sighed, "Let's just get back in the car and take it as a sign to go home earlier than planned, leave the paperwork for tomorrow and take a lesson from the birds and the bees to appreciate the joys of spring," she raised her eyebrow but Gene was so angry that even her innuendo couldn't tempt him away from his mission.

"I'm getting this bloody box out of my spot if I have to stick it on a pair of roller-skates and push it out the car park meself," he huffed, stomping towards the building with Alex staring after him. She closed her eyes and let out her breath slowly.

"Oh god," she groaned, her hand rising to her forehead. All she wanted was to head home and catch up on some sleep. But while something was sat in the most prized spot in the car park it seemed her desires would go unfulfilled. Reluctantly she opened her eyes and began to hurry after him in case she was required to prevent an upcoming murder. "Why did I open my big mouth?" she sighed.

~xXx~

"You must all be admiring my bow tie."

Incredulous glances passed between Simon, Robin and Kim as the Doctor settled upon a most mundane reason for the stares he'd received.

"Yes," Kim said flatly, torn between going for security and screaming with shock, "that's it completely, We're in awe of your fashion sense."

"I'm sure some of you could pull off the look fairly well," the Doctor assured them amiably, then gave Simon a frown. "Not all of you, maybe."

Instantly Simon bristled.

"Hey," he cried, "I could wear a bow tie if I wanted to." He paused and shuddered, "what the fuck am I even saying? I wouldn't wear a bow time if you paid me."

"Yes, well," Kim continued warily, taking very slow steps as she began to edge around the Doctor, "I think bow ties are usually frowned upon when you're attempting to stop dangerous criminals in their tracks."

"Really?" the doctor frowned in confusion, "I always find it helps me to assist the safety of humanity with a touch of style."

"Ri-i-i-i-ight," Kim took a cautious step forward and slowly poked him in the chest with one finger as though expecting him to be some sort of hallucination. When she felt solid matter at the end of her touch she drew back with a gasp. "What the hell is going on here?" she demanded.

"Uh, Kim," Robin began, "I'm starting to stress a little about the fact that there's a Dalek in your office. Did you leave it unattended?"

Kim turned to him with a frown.

"No, I brought it for walkies," she sighed, "what does it look like?"

"You touched him," Jake jabbered in Kim's general direction, "you touched the Doctor!"

"And the next time I touch someone it will be with a balled up fist unless someone tells me what's going on," Kim demanded.

"Can we get you anything?" Marci smiled at Clara, charmed by her pretty face, "tea or coffee? Something to eat?"

"Uhh," Clara hesitated, "maybe… some tea?" she shrugged a little as Marci scurried away with Jake calling after her,

"Marci! How can you do this? You've completely ignored –" his eyes turned back to the feet before him where he still lay on the floor, "the Doctor."

"This doesn't make sense," Kim said, more to herself than anyone else.

"Really?" Simon began, "a fictional character stands in the office and it doesn't make sense to you?"

"It doesn't make sense because," Kim swallowed, "this is nineteen ninety eight."

"That is the part that makes the least sense to you?!" cried Simon, "out of everything that we're witnessing right now it's the fact that we're days away from Geri quitting the Spice Girls that worries you."

"Geri's quitting the Spice Girls?!" suddenly Jake's awe turned to horror as he turned to Simon, his eyes full of fear.

"Oh goddamnit," Simon groaned, slapping his forehead while Robin attempted to console him.

"It's OK, Jake, it's just a dirty rumour," he said, endeavouring to soothe him while Kim grasped Simon roughly by the sleeve and gave him a firm tug.

"If you say one word of this in front of Who-Head I will personally disembowel you," she threatened, "Simon, think about this. This is nineteen ninety eight. What year does that man become the Doctor?"

"I don't know, I'd rather watch the carrot-straining championships than Doctor Who!" Simon flapped.

"I rarely watch it but even I know it wasn't until like… two thousand and nine? Two thousand and ten? Come on, Simon, I don't care what vegetable Olympics you would rather watch, Doctor Who is one of those things you know about whether you watch it or not!"

Simon stared past Kim to the Doctor who was watching them with some interest.

"I think this might be some kind of street theatre," he commented, waiting for them to carry on.

Kim moved Simon a little further away as Robin rejoined them.

"If this was some kind of stupid prank they'd get a lookalike of one of the older doctors, wouldn't they?" she said crossly, "they'd rake up a spare McGann from somewhere. Or have Sylvester McCoy jumping out the sprouts in the canteen."

Suddenly Simon visibly perked up.

"Now that I would like to see," he began.

"Shut up!" Kim hissed quickly, "This 'Doctor' does not yet exist. The eleventh Doctor will not exist for another eleven or twelve years!"

"What are you saying, Kim?" Robin asked with a shudder, "he's gone back in time?" he hesitated and then looked somewhat pained. "Yeah, I get that's a stupid question."

"Not as stupid as the fact that Doctor Who does not exist!" Kim reminded them, "in case you'd forgotten. Talking about the guy like he's real." She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the Doctor who smiled amiably.

"He is real!"

"I don't mean physically present," Kim carried on," I mean the character. That's some actor guy."

"This is a world for coppers, not actors," Simon shook his head.

"Well something's gone mighty wrong then!"

"Who's the girl?" Robin asked, glancing at Clara who was busy being offered thirteen different kinds of tea by Marci.

"I don't know, I've never seen her," Kim shrugged.

"She looks like someone who used to be in Emmerdale," Simon said a little awkwardly.

"Oh great!" Kim threw her hands in the air, "first Daleks in my office, next it'll be cows in the cells, or sheep roaming around in the car park."

"Nope, just a Tardis," Simon told her.

Kim aimed her finger at him angrily.

"You're not helping," she hissed.

Simon opened his mouth to reply but suddenly froze. He swallowed and glanced anxiously at the Doctor again as he tried to fend off Jake who was intent on poking his bow tie.

"Oh shit," he mumbled eventually.

"Oh shit what?" Robin asked with a frown.

Simon hesitated.

"N-nothing."

"Something," Kim corrected, "clearly something. Now are you going to tell us what the something is?"

Simon didn't want to. He really didn't, but the thought wasn't going to go away.

"You know there are more than two worlds," he whispered, "right?"

"There… are?" Kim narrowed her eyes, not sure she liked wherever this was going to lead.

"We've both experienced it, Kim," he hissed, "we're not the only ones either. Me, you, Gene, Alex. Go into a coma here, you end up in another place."

Kim swallowed, shuddering at the memory of her own experience.

"I hope this isn't going to end up with theories about a server falling on the Doctor's head," she warned.

"Gene and I talked about this," Simon said awkwardly, "we talked at length. We think this is just the tip of the iceberg. There must be thousands, millions of other universes out there, running parallel to this one."

"Is the next line out of your mouth going to be a RedDwarf quote?" Kim asked accusingly.

Simon swallowed.

"More like… paraphrasing," he said.

Kim pulled a face.

"Avoid the word 'smeg' and I'll let you off," she said.

Simon sighed.

"Maybe there are many more than the two worlds we know," he said, "so this is the one we go to from the real world when we're dead or dying. Fine. But what about when we're stuck in comas here? You've been through it, Kim. I have too."

Kim swallowed. She didn't like thinking about that experience.

"You did?" she whispered, and Simon nodded. "When?" she paused, "was it after the explosions?"

Simon nodded slowly.

"But mine was different to yours and Alex's," he said, "it was even different to Gene's. I went to…" he cringed, "Well I'm not telling you exactly where I went to… let's just say it was a fictional place."

Kim narrowed her eyes.

"It's Red Dwarf, isn't it?" she accused and Simon hung his head.

"Like I said, I won't say where…"

"Shit, Simon!" Robin slapped his hand over his mouth and tried not to laugh, "is that why you won't wear your Ace Rimmer t-shirt any more?"

"Shut up," hissed Simon, "we're not talking about me anyway!"

"I think we are," Kim teased, "so did Lister like… feed you curries?"

"I'm not doing this," Simon slapped his hands over his ears.

"Oh come on, Simon, it's us!" Robin tried.

"You can tell us!" Kim giggled.

"You threaten me with physical violence every time I mention the show!" Simon reminded her.

"I'll make an exception."

Simon scowled and shook his head.

"My point is," he began, "I went into a coma where there were… fictional characters."

"Did you try to get off with Rimmer?" Robin asked and Simon turned increasingly red.

"No I did not!" he hissed.

"Did Kryten iron your underpants?"

"I'm not going into this!" Simon hissed, "but after I woke up I thought I'd gone crazy. Everyone else's comas were in places that were… real, to a degree. What if my coma put me in a place where a TV show was real and we were fiction? Or my coma made it a real dimension?"

"This is all getting a bit weird for me," Robin backed away.

"I'm not buying this," Kim shook her head.

"Then find another explanation for the fictional arsehole standing in the corner of the office!" Simon fumed, then glanced guiltily at the Doctor. "No offence," he cringed.

"Only a little taken," the Doctor assured him.

"Would one of you care to explain to me why my parking space is currently occupied by the time-travelling porta-loo from hell?"

The sight of Gene in the doorway came as something of a relief to Simon who couldn't face any more teasing about his unfortunate coma.

"Gene, thank god," he breathed, closing his eyes.

"Ahh," the doctor raised his finger in the air, "that could be me."

Gene thumped his way into the office and stood in front of the stranger, hands on hips.

"And who exactly are you?" he demanded.

The Doctor beamed.

"Right again!" he said.

Gene ignored that.

"You're looking a bit upmarket for a bloody toilet attendant," he said, "although with that haircut you might get mistaken for a bog brush."

Alex shuffled into the room, her eyes fixed upon the Doctor. She'd only spent a brief period of time back in the real world after awakening from her coma but the man looked familiar from trailers, pictures in the TV guide and maybe a couple of clips when she was channel hopping. She edged towards Kim and nudged her.

"Is that…?" she trailed away, feeling a little stupid.

Kim felt equally as stupid as she nodded.

"Uh-huh," she whispered.

Alex glanced towards the window.

"So that… thing… out there…?"

Kim bit her lip.

"Apparently."

Alex stared at Kim; the usually down-to-earth girl she could rely on to give a sensible explanation. She looked fairly perturbed. Alex was starting to feel the same way.

"When Gene told me not to say today felt strange," she began nervously, "he'd never been more right about anything."

The Doctor seemed extremely excited to meet Gene.

"A special one!" he declared, his eyes lighting up.

"You're the 'special' one," Gene narrowed his eyes, "the kind of special we need a padded ambulance for."

"Go easy on him, Guv," Robin said a little nervously, "I think he's had a bit of a difficult landing."

"He'll be landing on his backside if he doesn't shift that bog from my spot," Gene threatened.

"Ahh yes, about that," the Doctor began, "I may have a few… minor adjustments to make before I can set off again."

"I'll also have a few 'minor adjustments' to make," Gene told him, "but mine will involve tightening your bow tie until yer face turns blue."

"I can do that anyway!" The Doctor smiled amiably but Gene's fury simply rose. He took a large step towards his office then turned around to glare at the Doctor with all the darkness of a winter's night and said gruffly,

"You. Bogbrush. A word in your shell-like, pal."

Simon took a step back and swallowed.

"Uh-oh," he shuddered, "that's not good."

"Oh no," Alex sighed, her hand covering her eyes, "I really don't want to see what's about to happen." She glanced at Kim. "Can I hide in your office?"

"I wouldn't if I were you," Kim said weakly.

Alex looked alarmed.

"Don't tell me you have an army of cybermen in there?" she guessed.

"Sadly you're not as far away with that guess as I wish you were," Kim told her.

The Doctor seemed oblivious to the kerfuffle around him as he rushed through the office towards Gene's door and smiled happily as it opened for him.

"Thank you," he told it, giving it a pat on the glass before he entered.

The gesture made Gene's fury a hundred times worse.

"We'll be 'aving words later," he told the door, then slammed it behind him as he stepped inside. It was time for the doctor to receive a debriefing, Gene Hunt style.