Steve only giggled a little as he helped Tina into a sweater dress. She sighed, but shared his opinion.
"It looks like you swallowed a beach ball," he chuckled, giving the peak of her belly a pat.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious," she remarked dryly.
"That's Mr. Captain Obvious to you. And wasn't it you who told Tony he wasn't allowed to say that?"
"He's not," Tina said primly, "But I am."
Tina smoothed out the dress and walked toward the living room.
"I kind of wish that Mom and Dad weren't coming today," she mumbled, "I could be in my sweatpants right now."
"I kind of wish Clint hadn't started me worrying that your Dad knows who I really am," Steve replied in an equally low voice.
"Oh, stop it," she laughed, "I dated you forever and didn't guess!"
Steve took her hand and continued leading her down the hall.
"You're not a very good guesser though, love," he pointed out, "For instance…"
He and Tina stepped through the door to the living room to balloons, decorations, and a small group of people.
"SURPRISE!"
Tina's eyes widened and she turned to Steve in shock.
"Is this- I didn't- did you-?"
He smiled and shook his head, pointing to an extremely pleased-looking Pepper. Tina grinned gratefully at her friend, who waved back happily.
"Hi, sweetie," Tina's dad said as he gave her a gentle hug.
"Dad! Hi! Where's Mom?" she asked, looking around.
"Not feeling well, Chrissy. Having one of her bad days," he explained.
"Nice to see you, Jeff," Steve grinned, giving his father-in-law a (gentle) slap on the back and a handshake.
"You too, bud!"
"Tina, come on!" Pepper encouraged her, "It's your baby shower and people have cute little things to give you! Come sit in the adorable rocking chair I got you and open presents. Steve, you're in charge of putting all the gifts on the table. Clint's going to help with trash, aren't you? Of course you are, get over here," she growled, grabbing the assassin's ear as he attempted to evade her.
With a slightly wearied glance at her husband, Tina complied, taking her seat in the chair, which to her delight, she found to be extremely comfortable. Pepper cheerfully frog-marched Tony forward.
"Open ours first," she suggested, offering Tina two identical boxes, one wrapped in shiny gold with a red bow, the other in shiny red with a gold bow.
"It looks like Christmas," Jeff was heard to remark softly.
Tony's look immediately turned scathing, but Pepper's firm grip on his elbow prevented him from turning and making a snide comment. Tina handed one box to Steve, and they opened them together. In each box was a set of baby monitors. Very high-tech baby monitors. Each was connected to JARVIS's interface and had a small screen to display what JARVIS determined was the best camera angle to show the baby.
"Instead of hearing the constant whir of a baby's white noise fan," Tony explained, "the monitor will beep softly when the baby cries, and if the cry continues for more than ten seconds, you'll hear it play through the speaker. These bad boys also can remotely, and accurately, determine if the little chunk's vital signs are normal. That's the little heart symbol. It'll flash if something's wrong, whether the issue is breathing, heart rate, or even if the kid's running a fever. It's a babysitter in a box," Tony concluded proudly.
"One set is gold, one is red. We can get the monitors engraved with each baby's name once Tony calibrates their monitor to them, specifically," Pepper added.
"Thanks so much you guys," Tina pulled them both to her level to embrace them.
"This is really awesome, Tony. I'm guessing it was your idea, Pepper?" Steve said, weighing one in his hand.
She nodded with a grin and pulled her proud inventor aside as Clint dutifully removed the wrapping paper from Tina's lap with a fearful look at Pepper.
"We also come bearing gifts for the babes!" Thor announced, stepping forward with two different boxes.
"We both have heard a lot about how little sleep new parents get," Jane explained softly, "and thought that these could help your little ones catch some z's."
Steve took the boxes, handing one to his wife. He unwrapped a beautifully carved wooden box, made of a dark wood and inlaid with gold and silver, swirled into an ornate design. He opened it to find soft, lovely music floating out of a huge, sparkling emerald, which seemed to glow from within. The other box was just as perfect, the only difference being the gem, which was a sapphire.
"These are really beautiful. Thank you," a slightly speechless Steve said.
Thor grinned proudly.
"I'm glad you like them."
Jeff stared at the obviously magical boxes in wonder. He knew who Thor was, but still, being in the same room with him was a little nerve-wracking.
"Wanna open ours?" Clint asked, looking over at Natasha.
"I swear Clint, if there's a weapon in this box," Steve threatened.
"Hey, I'm not stupid. Weapons and babies don't go together, I get it," the archer defended himself.
Natasha rolled her eyes, but handed Tina the large box
"This is actually mostly Clint's idea. I was all for Russian vodka and a Widow's Bite bracelet," she chuckled.
"So it's American beer and arrows?" Tina joked.
"If only," Clint sighed mockingly.
Tina opened the box to find a bunch of soft plush toys. She smiled, looking closer, and laughed as she realized what they were. A squishy replica of Mjolnir, a fluffy green fist. An arc reactor that glowed through the fabric when she squeezed it. A squashy spider and a velvety arrow. Even a plushy version of Steve's shield was included.
"These are adorable!" she cooed, lifting each out and showing it to her friends.
"I needed an outlet," Natasha explained, "And the Tina-doll I made kind of gave Clint the idea for these."
"They're fun," Steve agreed, throwing the little shield over to Thor, who caught it with a smile.
Suspicion clouded Jeff's face for just a second, but it was long enough for Steve to take notice. He couldn't help the bit of color that came to his cheeks in response.
"I've never been to a baby shower before," Bruce said, stepping forward. "I looked up gifts to get, but you guys already have all the stuff you really need. And I'm not really creative, but I figured this would work."
Steve opened up the box and grinned. In it was a stack of books, old and new. His childhood and Tina's. Dr. Seuss, Mother Goose, the works.
"Oh! I love this one!" Tina grabbed The Foot Book out.
Jeff laughed.
"You made me read that to you every night for so long," he reminisced. "I probably still have it memorized…big foot, small foot, feet, feet, feet," he chuckled.
"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," Steve read the title, "this looks awful big to be a kid's book."
Bruce grinned somewhat guiltily.
"It's a classic," he offered, "and it's basically required reading as far as I'm concerned. When they're old enough I'll read it to them."
Tina sighed.
"I cried really hard on my twelfth birthday," she said without explanation.
Steve stared at her in confusion, but Bruce nodded sympathetically.
"Letter never came, huh? I was older than that when this came out, but I can imagine the disappointment."
"Well," Jeff said, steering the conversation out of nerd-dom, "I don't have anything fancy. But, here." He gruffly handed a package over to Steve, who continued staring in confusion at Bruce and Tina as he opened it.
Inside were two baby albums, with empty slots for pictures and space to write.
"Dad, these are perfect," Steve said softly, tracing the cover.
Tina sniffled a little.
"I love them," she declared.
"Are you crying?" Clint asked excitedly, getting in her face. His expression fell as he observed her dry eyes. "Damn!"
Natasha grinned somewhat evilly as she took twenty dollars from him.
"Clint, you have the absolute worst luck in the world," Tony commented. "If we ever go to a horserace, I'm going to bet my life savings on the horse you pick to lose."
"Come on, everyone, dinner's in the kitchen," Pepper announced, poking her head back into the living room. The group filed out except for Steve and Jeff who were stacking presents on the table.
"Captain America missing again, huh?" Jeff observed.
"Yup," Steve responded a little awkwardly, "he's not here."
"World Peace Tour?" Jeff asked skeptically.
"Nah," the soldier answered, demonstrating again his utter inability to lie to his friends. "He's…well. He's where he belongs right now."
"Which is where?"
Steve exhaled, weighing his options mentally.
"In my closet."
Jeff's eyes widened and Steve gathered the gifts in his arms. He jerked his head towards his room as if to say 'come on'. As Steve set the presents on his bed, Jeff lightly stepped into the room, looking around. The captain went over to the small closet where he kept his uniform and shield and opened it.
"There he is," Steve said.
Jeff stared at it for a moment, looking a little star-struck.
"But, but-you," he stammered, appearing to be shocked that he had been right all along.
"I'm not him. Not right now. I say, don't take work home with you, ya know?" Steve explained. "I'm Steve. I'm only Captain America when I've got the uniform on. Like most of us…when Clint wakes up in the morning, he's Clint. He puts on a suit and becomes Hawkeye. I'm Steve Rogers until I pick up the shield. The only guy who's not like that is Thor," he chuckled, "When he wakes up, he's Thor. He puts on jeans and a t-shirt and becomes Donald Blake. But only when he has to. Like all of us, he prefers to be who he really is."
"Wow," Jeff said quietly, still staring in wonder at the shield. He reached a tentative finger towards it, but drew it back quickly.
"No, you can hold it if you want," Steve offered, picking it up and holding it out.
Tina's father grinned like a child and took the shield, grunting under its weight.
"Jeez," he huffed, "this is heavy!"
Steve's brow furrowed as he took it back and put it in the case again.
"Really? It feels light as a feather to me," he noted.
"You're a superhero," Jeff pointed out.
Steve nodded, conceding his point.
"Fair enough," the soldier agreed.
The two men walked out towards the dining room.
"Sorry I didn't tell you," Steve said. "It's just…the less people who know, the better. And…well…I wanted you to know Steve. Not Cap."
Jeff clapped a hand on Steve's shoulder.
"I get it. If you tell everyone your secret identity it's not really a secret anymore," he said sympathetically.
Steve nodded in agreement.
"Unless you're Tony…"
Getting close to The Big Day now! So, last minute bets on the babies' genders? Let's hope you're better at betting than Clint ;)
Review please!