Castiel was done. He was emotionally distraught at the fact in two weeks' time Dean would be gone on a three month tour leaving him with no one. He didn't have friends in LA other than Dean and his band. Sure he had Jo and Jess but he knew Jess was going back and stay with her parents for a bit while Sam was gone and Jo was going on the tour to help Crowley with management of the band. Castiel would have no one other than his shop employees. He was twenty-nine years old and dependent on his twenty-four year old boyfriend for everything. If it wasn't for Dean he'd still be sat on his brother's couch completely miserable.

One of Castiel's new employees, an incredibly charming man by the name of Balthazar, had grown rather close to Castiel and he considered him to be more of a friend than an employee. They would talk to each other often about the drama in their lives and would try and help each other out. Balthazar is a womanizer and tends to have completely different drama to what Castiel does but somehow, their friendship works. Balthazar knows everything about Castiel and his past which is a strange concept to Castiel as the only people he's ever felt comfortable confiding in has been Dean and his mother.

Castiel entered the store to find Balthazar in his normal position behind the counter; he knew he had to talk about it with him. He needed advice and he was the only person who didn't know Dean. Castiel sighed as he approached the counter. He rested his hands down and looked at them while he spoke.

"Can I talk to you about something?" He asked with an innocent tone as he slowly raised his head so he could look at the man before him

Balthazar looked up to Castiel with a warm smile his British accent thick as he spoke "Sure you can, my boy. What is it?"

"I uh... I need some advice" He stuttered "It's about Dean"

"Ahh, trouble in paradise?" Balthazar asked knowingly. It's as if he could read Castiel even if he hadn't spoken a word he could tell what was wrong.

Castiel sighed again. It was hard for him to talk about because as much as he'd like to think everything was fine. It wasn't. They'd hardly spoken to each other in months about anything but meaningless things and whenever Dean tried to bring the discussion of the tour up, Castiel would subtly avoid the subject which forced Dean to forget. He hated doing it to Dean but he just couldn't bear the thought of being told that Dean was going and he was staying by himself.

"Dean's leaving in two weeks and we still haven't talked about it and I'm scared he's going to leave me here by myself. I don't know anyone here outside of Dean other than my employees here. I don't think I can last three months without him" Castiel was defeated as he spoke. His shoulders were slumped as realisation sunk in. He was alone. He thought he had friends, he thought he was happy but in reality he was more alone than ever. At least back in South Dakota he had his brother to fall back on. Here he had no one but Dean and Dean's friends.

Before Castiel knew what happened, warm arms wrapped around him and brought him in close to the other's chest. He recognised the scent of Balthazar's cologne as he began to sob into the warm chest. There were kind words and shushing noises breathed into his ear which sent a comforting warmth through his body. He felt safe in these arms even though they weren't those of Dean's he still felt safe. Maybe he did have a friend outside of Dean.

"Shush now Cassie" Balthazar comforted "It's going to be fine. You just need to talk to this man of yours. I'm sure he'll understand; if he loves you as much as you love him then there's nothing to worry about."

Castiel nodded into the now damp shirt that Balthazar wore as doubt filled his mind. He tried to push it away but he just couldn't.

"What if…" Castiel chocked out "What if he doesn't want me to go with him and he leaves me here? What do I do then? I can't be without him that long. I just can't." He knew he sounded needy but he needed Dean with him. He can't be alone; he didn't do well on his own.

Balthazar gripped Castiel's shoulders and forced him backwards so they could look each other in the eye. Balthazar's facial expression was frim but Castiel could see the warmth in his eyes that Balthazar tried to help him.

"Now you listen to me Cassie" Balthazar's voice was firm and left no room for Castiel to argue "You are going to talk to Dean about all of this. He knows everything about you. He won't leave you alone. Not ever. So stop worrying and march your little butt home and go talk to him" As Castiel was about to protest, Balthazar shushed him again "No. No excuses, you are going home and you are going to do it now. If you don't I will march you over there myself and lock you both in your fancy apartment while you talk this through."

Castiel did nothing but nod and obey his friend. He gave Balthazar a hug and muttered a thank you into his ear before he turned on his heel leaving his store in capable hands. As he walked in the direction of his apartment the sinking feeling of dread pooled in his stomach which left him worried as to how this conversation was going to pan out.

-
It was two weeks out from the start of their tour when everything started to fall apart. Cas had closed himself off. He refused to talk about the tour, not to Dean anyway, apparently he'd found someone else to confide in and it angered Dean to no end. Why couldn't Cas talk to him about it? It wasn't like he was going and never coming back. Cas could even join him on the tour for a bit seeing he had people working at the store now. But apparently Cas would rather not talk about it and in the months leading to the tour, Dean went with it. He didn't bring it up once until enough was enough and they needed to talk about it.

As soon as Dean heard Cas' key in the door, he stood up from where he was sat on the couch and faced the door. Cas knew something was up straight away and by the look he gave Dean, he knew exactly what this was about. He looked tired; he had bags under his eyes, his shoulders were sagged and the glint that was usually in those blue eyes was missing. The faster this was resolved and they talked it through, the faster Dean could take that look from Cas and bring back the Cas he fell in love with.

"Cas, we need to talk" He started with a subtle pleading to his tone. Dean needed to talk this through. He couldn't leave in two weeks' time without having talked to Cas about what was going to happen. He couldn't do that to himself nor to Cas.

Cas said nothing in reply just released a sigh and nodded his head as he shrugged off his trench coat. Even in the heat of Summer Cas wore that damn coat that Dean bought for him. It was a little big for his frame and hid the muscled tone of his body but it made Dean happy to see that Cas loved the gift that he'd given him. His lover moved across the room and took a seat on the couch as he looked up at Dean with pleading eyes which showed he did not want to talk this through. It took all of Dean's strength to not just gather the man up in his arms and tell him everything's fine we don't need to talk about this we'll just talk later but Dean knew if he did that, they wouldn't talk about it and the time would come where Dean left and they had no plan in place as to what was going to happen. Instead, Dean took a seat on the other end of the couch which placed a distance between them so he wasn't tempted to abandon the topic and just have sex like they had every other time they were about to talk about it.

Dean let out a shaky breath and looked down at the floor with his elbows braced on his knees. This was harder than he thought it would be.

"Cas, what's going on with you man? Are you not happy for me? Ever since the announcement of the tour I feel like you've drifted away from me and the only time we talk is when you want to know what I want for dinner and when I try to bring something else up you shut me down or just seduce me. It's just frustrating me that we can't talk this through. I'm leaving in two weeks and we haven't talked about the tour once"

He didn't answer right away which let what Dean had said hang in the air. The silence filled the room and yet it felt deafening. When Cas still didn't answer, Dean lifted his head to see Cas looking straight ahead as if he hadn't even listened to the words Dean said.

"Are you even listening to me man? What the fuck is going on? Why aren't you talking to me?" Dean was getting angry at Cas' lack of interest in the conversation. "Oh yeah that's right, you talk to someone else now don't you? That new employee of yours. What's his name again? Balthy something?" The anger in Dean's toned attracted Cas' attention now but Dean thought it was more that the mention of Cas' new friend.

"Balthazar," Cas muttered barely audible.

"Yeah him," Dean replied "Why is that you can talk to him about it but yet you can't come to me, the man you love, and tell me what you're thinking? I'm not a mind-reader Cas. As much as I like to think I know everything about you, I don't know your thoughts and if you're not going to talk to me and shut down when I try talk to you what am I going to think?"

Once again Cas refused to speak. Dean got unbelievably frustrated at Cas' lack of dialogue in the conversation that would dictate how they spent the next three months of their lives and by the way Cas acted, he didn't want to be part of it. So that was it then? Cas didn't want to be part of the most important thing is Dean's life. Was it because his life was finally going somewhere and Cas' wasn't?

"Fucking hell Cas, are you seriously not going to fucking talk to me?" Dean stood now and paced in front of the couch while he rubbed his hand over his face and through his hair.

"What do you want me to say Dean?" Cas' tone was angry and it surprised Dean. What right did he have to be angry at Dean? He was the one ignoring the issue. "That I don't want you to go? Because I don't. I don't want you to leave me here by myself why you go and play gigs across the country for three months while I'm stuck here with nothing except my store"

"So that's it then." Dean snarled "You're jealous that I have my life-long dream within my grasp while all you have is your crappy bookstore" as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them but it was too late, the words were out there and they had immediate effect on Castiel. Cas visibly winced and his face crumpled, shoulders slumped even further as tears welled up in his eyes. Dean knew he was wrong, he knew that Cas was nothing but supportive of Dean's band but the way Cas said everything, it was hard to see it as anything but Cas being jealous. Dean was going to go off on a three month tour of his dreams and Cas was staying in LA and running a bookstore.

"I think I should go" Cas whispered his voice shaky as he tried to hold back the tears that were about to drop at any moment now. Before Dean could react, Cas was up from the couch and grabbed his duffle bag from the hall closet. Dean quickly followed as Cas started to pack some clothes into the bag in their bedroom.

"What so now you're just going to walk out on me?" Dean asked with an accusatory tone. He was beyond pissed now.

"It's for the best Dean. You can go and do your tour, while I run my crappy bookstore." The way Cas used Dean's words against him in that stoic tone of his caused Dean to wince. He hadn't wanted this. Not at all. He wanted them to talk this through and come to the conclusion that Cas would join him on tour. Not this; anything but this.

As Dean was trapped in his thoughts, Cas had finished packing and headed for the door. He pulled Cas back by the arm as he was about to reach the door just like he had that night before the party except this time it was completely different. Cas was pissed for real this time and as he turned to face Dean, Dean saw nothing but anger and pain in those eyes that usually were filled with nothing but innocence and love and Dean knew. He knew this was it. He'd fucked up big time.

"Cas, wait. I'm so-"

"Save it Dean." Cas interrupted "I'll pick up the rest of my stuff when you leave for your tour. By the time you're back it'll be like I was never here. You'll never have to see me and my jealousy again"

Dean winced again. He definitely did not want that but apparently his mouth wasn't connected to the logical part of his brain because the words that came out shocked him more than Cas.

"You've been waiting for this haven't you? Waited for me to bring it up just so you could walk out and run off with that fucking Balthazar dick"

The harsh slap to his cheek that the words were greeted with shook Dean to his core. The blood rushed to his face where the handprint had already formed.

"You have no right, NO RIGHT, to accuse me of that Dean!" Cas shouted at him, his eyes were filled with nothing but hatred as he yelled. "I have done nothing but support you since we've been together and now you're accusing me of being jealous and cheating on you! What the hell is wrong with you, Dean? When you finally get your head out of your ass and realise your mistake then maybe you can find me but I'm not sticking around while you figure it out. Good luck on your tour, Dean" and with that, Cas was out the door shutting it behind him leaving Dean stood there with a stinging cheek and regret deep within his gut.

Dean sunk to the floor and rested his back against the nearby wall as a single tear dropped from his eye. Cas was gone and it was all his own fault. So he did the only thing he could, he picked up his guitar and started to write.

-
Castiel left the apartment with tears in his eyes barely able to see in front of him as his vision blurred. He walked aimlessly with no definite heading. His thoughts were scrambled. How could Dean think that he was cheating on him? Sure he'd been distant but he'd been nothing but loving to Dean. He hadn't once thought about being with anyone else. Dean was it for him. How could Dean be so blind and not see that? It tore Castiel's heart to hear the words come from Dean's mouth. The insult to his store and then the accusation of cheating was something he never thought he'd hear from his lover.

Before he knew it, he was stood outside Balthazar's apartment. It took everything in him to not just turn and leave and find another place to stay. He raised a shaky fist to the door knocking lightly and hoped it was loud enough for Balthazar to hear it. When there was no answer after what had seemed like ages, Castiel dropped to the floor and leant against the door while he grasped his duffle bag to his chest as the tears streamed down his face. Footsteps echoed through the hallway and startled Castiel out of his state. He looked up through blurred vision to the familiar sight of his friend.

"Balthazar?" Castiel choked out. His voice was horse from crying and his friend's name came out but nothing as a whimper.

"Castiel? What's happened?" His friend worried. Balthazar stooped down and picked Castiel up and brought him into a hug similar to the one from that morning. Castiel did nothing but let the man embrace him. He was too tired and emotionally wrecked to do anything but slump against the other man. "Come on, Cassie. Come inside. I'll set up the couch for you and you can rest there"

Castiel nodded and sniffed while he tried to stop the tears. Castiel felt himself being taken inside the apartment with his eyes closed to try to keep the tears at bay. He was placed onto the couch and laid down. His shoes were taken off and a pillow placed under his head. Before he knew it, he was dozing off tired from all the tears that were shed. He hoped that tomorrow everything would be fine and today had been nothing but a dream.