HAD TO GO BACK AND EDIT THIS CHAPTER SO THESE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS MAKE SENSE. I APOLOGIZE IF THIS THROWS ANYBODY OFF...
CHAPTER 5
POV- Chloe
I emerge from the closet with two shirts.
Well at least I've narrowed it down…
"What're YOU getting all dolled up for?" Aubrey asks as she looks up from her textbook for the first time in the past hour. She's been on her bed hunched over that book cramming ALL DAY.
"I'm meeting Beca-"
Aubrey scoffs loudly, cutting me off.
"Come on, Aubrey…not tonight, okay?" It's more of a warning than a question. I turn my attention back to the shirts...
"Sorry," She starts, "I just worry…" I don't have to look back to know she's sporting an infamous "Aubrey Posen" pout.
"I know…" I say. And, it doesn't come out snarkily or anything. I want her to know how much I really do appreciate our friendship.
Even if she IS a little over-protective at times…
After a while, Aubrey exhales. With a more tender tone, she speaks… "Aqua Polo."
I turn to meet her gaze.
Is she actually helping me right now?
She must see the suspicion in my face because she elaborates," It brings out your eyes and looks better with your complexion."
"Oh…" I take turns holding the shirts to my chest, comparing them once more. What do you know? Aubrey knows what she's talking about. "Thank you…"
I take a deep breath and raise my fist to knock on Beca's door.
Beca opens the door and greets me with that crooked smile I know and love. I've come to love that smile. I feel like it is the smile she smiles just for me… Shy, Alluring, Slightly vulnerable…
When our eyes meet, for a second, JUST a second there is a light in her eyes. She clears her throat and steps aside, allowing me to come in.
"Soooo… what would you like to do tonight?" She asks as she closes the door behind me.
I make my way to the bed. Taking no time to kick my shoes off and plop down. Beca smiles, as she watches me . Beca's always found it amusing that I make myself at home every time I visit.
It's surprisingly easy, this time once I notice Kimmy Jin isn't here. But then again, she never is lately.
I smile up at Beca, patting the spot next to me. Inviting her to join me. "I was hoping we could just hang like we always do," I answer. Of course, that's only partially true. I can think of plenty of things that I would LOVE to do with/to Beca tonight. None of them being G-Rated, I'll just say.
She makes her way across the room, plopping down beside me. We sit upright, putting our backs to the pillows against the wall. Before long, I realize my head is on her shoulder and my hand rests on her forearm.
We spend nearly 2 hours laughing at videos we stumble across in the "weird part of youtube".
Finally, she shuts off her Macbook and sets it aside, careful not to disturb me as she's moving. As awkward as she looks, the thought still makes me smile.
There is an awkward silence as I get lost in my thoughts.
SAY SOMETHING!
"Hey…Beca. Can I ask you something?" I raise my head, turning to look at her.
Her face goes serious, as she shifts into 'deadpan joke mode', "But, Chloe… You just did."
I roll my eyes, deciding to play along. "Well, may I ask you something after I ask you something?"
"Sure." Her lips pull into a thin frown and her brows furrow as she pretends to be confused, " Why didn't you just ask?"
I shake my head, smiling. She knows she's working on my nerves, but she also knows it is nearly impossible for me to get mad at her.
The corners of her mouth twitch as she fights to keep a straight face.
"Can you stop being cute for, like, FIVE SECONDS?" I ask, feigning irritation.
"Five seconds is a long time…" She counters, letting the smirk overtake her features.
I swear I've never found smirks to be attractive until I met Beca Mitchell.
As I feel the heat in my cheeks, I scan the dorm for a distraction. Once, the the color finally leaves my cheeks, I look back to see Beca rolling her lips under, in an attempt to hide the smile spreading across her face. And I don't mean one of her lazy smiles, but a genuine smile. Dimples and all. The kind of smile I see when it's just the two of us…
I start again, answering her, "Hey. Beca... I really do have to ask you something, though. Like for real."
"Oh. Okay." She composes herself and turns to face me again, giving me her undivided attention.
"Would you ever date a woman?" I spit out, immediately regretting it once I see her expression. The last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable.
Her brows furrow as she takes a moment to deliberate. Possibly wondering what would lead me to ask such a random question. "Uh… yeah. I mean, I've dated a few in high school. Nothing serious though..." She trails off, shrugging at the last bit.
Well, that's great.
"Why not?" I ask, trying my best to sound like nothing more than a wondering friend…
There is an uncomfortable silence as she chooses her words carefully.
"Well…," She explains,matter-of-factly," In my experiences, they tell you they love you... then they leave."
Wow…
She goes on. Pain and bitterness embedded in her voice,"…And as soon as you start to forget. And you think you're okay again…they show up. And they do it again…"
Beca's eyes begin to shine with tears she won't let fall. She looks everywhere, but my face. And when she finally does look at my face, she looks everywhere but my eyes… "It's whatever though." She adds, in an attempt to cover up the fact that she's actually hurting.
"Beca…" I speak, WILLING her to look at me, so she'll see the sincerity in my eyes," I don't know who did that to you, or why…. But, I can PROMISE you every woman isn't like that."
Finally, her blue eyes meet mine again. And for the first time since I've met her, they are genuine. So loving. So vulnerable. So full of hope…
Looking past the thick black eyeliner… the harsh exterior… I see a pair of soft blue eyes. Soft blue eyes that hope for her future to be better than her past and present. (Of course, I'd never call Beca out on any of this, because she is a self-proclaimed "badass" with a rep to uphold)
I stare into those soft blue eyes. Seeing her for the first time. The REAL Beca.
I see her face in a whole new light now. Her whole face seems so much softer… Her nose…her cheeks…her lips…
Get it together! You're staring at her lips. Baby steps Chloe…
I REALLY wanna kiss her right now…
My gaze leaves her lips. Locking with hers.
"I know YOU aren't…" She smiles.
As I stare into her eyes, an overwhelming feeling of warmth and electricity spreads through my chest. The butterflies come shortly after.
I wonder if she feels it too. It's pretty intense…
"Wow…" Beca looks away, laughing nervously. "We, uh…we should call it a night. You're welcome to stay, if you want. Kimmy Jin's not coming back anytime soon.
We cut off the lights and lay down, but neither of us is able to fall asleep for a while. As always, we end up holding each other through the night. But tonight feels different. Beca faces me tonight. Holding me close to her tiny body. Humming my "lady jam" when she notices I'm having trouble getting to sleep.
Suprisingly, it works.