It was a month after Dean had left for his tour and Castiel had still not heard from. It had got harder and harder for Castiel to keep his hopes up that Dean would realise his mistake but with the lack of communication it was excruciating to hold onto the hope that Dean would return.

Not that Castiel would like to admit it to anyone or himself, but he would check the gossip websites every day to see the new gossip on Dean and his band to see what they were up to. He was thankful that there were no rumours so far about Dean having relations with anyone so far in his search. He didn't know what he would do if one day when he checked there were photos or a leaked story of Dean being with someone. If anything, Castiel was a little worried about Dean's lack of appearance on the websites. He knew that they were only a small band but they had quite a decent sized fan base and was surprised to not see more photos of them out and about in public. Castiel feared that Dean had suddenly become a shut-in that only ventured out of whatever motel room they were in if he had to.

He'd even created himself a Twitter account under an alias to follow the band's page and check in on what happened and how their concerts went. There were a few photos from each of the concerts mostly of the band at the front of the stage with the camera faced out to get a photo of the crowd. The crowds had grown huge if the photos were anything to go by. Castiel couldn't help but smile at how happy the band looked and how at home they were on the stage.

Castiel struggled to stay silent towards Dean. It took every ounce of energy he possessed to not just pick up his cell and ring him tell him he's sorry and they can forget about it. But that wasn't the way forward for them and he knew that this was for the best. He just wished it wasn't so damn hard.

Once Castiel was settled in at Gabriel's, he sort out to look for a part time job around the area just for something to do so he wasn't sat around moping all day every day. Balthazar had been in contact with him every day and updated him on the store which Castiel was extremely grateful for his support but he wished that his friend would stop babying him. However it was nice to know that someone out there cared to ring him.

When Castiel ventured, somewhat unwillingly, into The Roadhouse one afternoon, he was greeted by a slap to the face from none other than Ellen Harvelle.

"What you never heard of a phone?" the woman greeted

Castiel raised a hand to his reddened cheek as he glanced at the woman with guilt. The woman had been close with Dean and he knew Dean saw her as a mother. When he and Castiel had started dating, Ellen had been so kind to Castiel and accepted him as if he was one of her own. "I'm sorry Ellen. I know I should have called but I was-"

"If you say you've been busy so help me God I won't hesitate to slap you again, boy. Even Dean rang me every couple of weeks but you, I didn't hear a thing" Ellen interrupted.

Castiel shut his trap then instead he opted to wrap Ellen into a hug who willingly returned the embrace.

"Cas, I'm sorry about what's going on with you and Dean" Ellen whispered into his ear. Castiel pulled back from the embrace as he willed himself not to cry but could feel the tears about to well up. He didn't want to think about it. He wanted to just see Ellen and then leave but he knew it was going to come up.

Castiel nodded slightly in thanks "I'm guessing Jo told you?"

Ellen nodded before she spoke again "That boy will figure it all out soon. He's a stupid son of a bitch but he's not an idiot. He'll come back to you. Don't lose hope on him" She swiped his cheek with her finger before she moved away to step behind the bar again. "Now I'm guessing you're not just here to see little old me so what can I do you for?"

Castiel stepped towards the bar and took a seat in one of the stools in front of Ellen. "Uhm I was actually wondering if you needed any help around here? I need something to do with my time and didn't want to find a job that wouldn't allow me to leave when I wanted to"

"Well," Ellen said with a sigh "I can always use extra hands behind the bar but I won't be able to pay you much"

Castiel was quick to clarify what he meant "I wasn't expecting to be paid much, whatever you can afford is more than adequate, I just need to occupy myself instead of sitting around the apartment all day."

The bar owner nodded in understanding obviously she knew that Castiel would have been moping around and needed a distraction. "Alright, if you're sure?" At Castiel's nod she continued "Well then, welcome aboard. Why don't you come in at four and I'll show you the ropes"

"Thank you, Ellen."

"Don't sweat it, honey. Anything else I can do, you just let me know alright?" Ellen comforted.

Castiel nodded before he confirmed he would be back at four and turned to leave the bar. That had gone a lot better than he had expected. He knew Ellen would be understanding of the situation and would help him out anyway she could. It just pained him to think that she would soon enough tell Jo that he was working there and he knew she would tell Dean but it was unavoidable. Dean would find out soon enough and if Castiel checked in on Dean then maybe it was only fair that he knew what Castiel was up to too.

-
Dean was roused from his alcohol driven slumber by a conversation in whispers. "Yeah he's working at The Roadhouse now" Dean heard Jo tell Ash and Sam in the living area of the hotel suite they were staying in. "Should we tell him?" She continued. Dean didn't have to ask to know who they were talking about. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. Dean was just sick of all the pussyfooting around him like Cas' name was taboo. Sure he was depressed by where things were at with them at the moment but that didn't mean it was never going to get better between them. Dean just had to figure out what the fuck was going on and then they will be fine. Well at least he thought they would be fine.

"It's up to you Jo," he heard Sam say. Sam had been on his side since the beginning trying to help Dean out. Dean had the sneaking suspicion that Sam knew exactly why Cas had acted out but was just tormenting him and wanted to make Dean think for himself. Dean groaned as he pulled the white sheet up above his head while he lay in bed while he nursed yet another hangover.

They were about halfway through the tour and were hitting up New York next. The fact that Cas had always wanted to go to New York nagged in the back of Dean's mind. He wanted so badly for Cas to be with him right now that he physically ached and the only thing that helped to numb the pain was getting trashed every night. Of course it was always after their gig. He was a professional and he didn't want to ruin their first tour by being a drunken idiot on stage.

He had tried to stay away from the paparazzi as much as possible because he knew that if he was seen doing something stupid, management would come down on him like a tonne of bricks. He also didn't want to upset Cas. He knew if he got into trouble Cas would be extremely disappointed in him. Cas always wanted the best for Dean and if Dean screwed it up then he knew Cas would tell him straight how much of an idiot he is once they got back together.

"We really need to get him sorted. He's drowning himself in a bottle every night and it's not good for him or the band" Sam continued always the responsible one.

"I can hear you!" Dean yelled out to which he promptly got a reply from his brother

"Exactly! So sort out your shit and stop drinking yourself sick every night and fucking ring Cas"

Dean rolled over again and pushed the sheet down so he could climb out of bed. He swung his legs around over the side and placed them on the warm carpet. He rubbed his eyes of sleep before he glanced at the clock. It was a little after one. They hadn't made it back to the suite until well after 3am and Dean had stayed up with Ash for a bit drinking while they wrote a song which they had recently finished and thought about playing it at their next gig.

"I'm not ringing him until I figure this out!" Dean yelled back at his brother.

"God he's such an idiot" Sam grumbled.

Dean heard him before he saw him. The loud thud of footsteps that approached his room was none other than Sam's. The man really didn't have much stealth.

"Dean," Sam began exasperated "You're never going to figure this out by yourself especially with the way you're running yourself ragged every night. Just ring him and invite him out to New York for the gig so you can talk this through face to face. There's no other way you two are going to figure it out"

Dean was about to protest but was hastily greeted with a bitch face to match all bitch faces. His brother was right. They weren't going to figure this out when they were over 1500 miles apart. Dean let out a heavy sigh before he swiped his face again with his hand.

"Fine," he announced "Pass me my cell and I'll call him"

Sam disappeared for a few moments before he returned with cell in hand and threw it over to Dean. Dean glared down at his phone before he lifted his eyes back to the door where Sam is still loomed.

"Do you mind?" Dean growled out. Sam lifted his hands in defence before he retreated back to the living room no doubt to tell Ash and Jo about his progress. Once he's sure Sam is out of earshot, Dean got to his feet and padded across to close the door so he could at least have some privacy. He knew the rooms are sound proofed well seeing they haven't had any late night complaints about their music practice. When the door was closed, he looked down at his phone again. He let out a deep sigh before he unlocked it and pulled up Cas' number. Before he can doubt himself, he took a deep breath and dialled.

After the sixth ring Cas finally answered with that low growl of a voice that never failed to turn Dean on. The man had obviously been woken up by Dean ringing him and the images that flood his mind at the thought made him groan internally. Damn he was sexy just after he woke up.

"Cas?" Dean greeted. He knew it was Cas he didn't know why he asked but he was flustered at the sound of Cas' voice after so long

"Dean?" Cas answered with surprise and disbelief

"Yeah, Sweetheart it's me" he answered voice shaky with the anticipation of Cas' reaction. When there was nothing but silence on the other end, Dean was worried Cas is going to hang up. If it wasn't for the soft noise of breathing in his ear he would have thought Cas had hung up. Dean thought about small talk but they'd never been good at that. Instead he got straight to the point before he became too chicken shit "Cas, we need to talk face to face. We've got a gig in New York this weekend and I know how you always wanted to go there so I'm going to fly you out here and we can talk after the gig"

Cas lets out a shaky breath down the line and Dean holds his own at the thought Cas was going to deny him. Dean doesn't know what he will do other than beg for Cas to come.

"Okay" the answer is so quiet Dean struggled to hear it but once he realised Cas agreed the grin on his face brought warmth to his body that he hadn't felt in so long.

"Thank you, thank you" Dean repeated over and over "I miss you so much Sweetheart and we're going to sort all this out okay?"

"Dean," Cas breathed out "Please, don't. I- I can't get my hopes up. Please j-just understand?" he stuttered as if he was holding back tears and it broke Dean's heart to hear it.

"Of course, Cas, please just – fuck. I know Cas, I know. But we're going to sort this out okay? Just promise me you'll come? I love you so much, Cas and I'm never giving you up. We're going to sort this out and we're going to have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Okay Baby?" Dean had tears well up in his eyes as he heard Cas let go down the phone. The sobs he heard escape Cas make him yearn to be with him and he hated himself for doing this to him. Hates himself for leaving Cas behind and then realisation hits him like a freight train.

Cas didn't want to be left alone. Cas wanted to be with Dean. Hell the man up and left the only family he cared for to move halfway across the country just because Dean was moving and then Dean dropped the bombshell. Telling him they were leaving for a three month tour and Dean hadn't told him he planned on taking Cas with him. Dean hadn't told him because he thought it was implied. Cas was Dean's world as much as Cas depended on Dean it was completely mutual. Dean hated being away from Cas. He hated not being able to spend more time with him while they worked on the album and he thought Cas knew that. He thought that Cas knew he was coming with Dean. But of course Cas isn't a mind reader just as Dean isn't. They actually need to tell each other. They're just too idiots that fail to communicate.

"Cas, Baby" Dean whispers "I know now. Fuck. I'm such a fucking idiot. I know why you were upset and Sweetheart, please believe me when I say I never wanted to leave you behind and I was never going to. You were going to come with me and I'm so fucking sorry I didn't tell you. I just thought that you knew that already and I'm such a fucking idiot for not telling you that" Dean choked back his own tears as he heard Cas cry harder down the phone.

"Fuck Dean. Put me on the next flight out. I need to see you. I can't do this over the phone"

Dean nodded dumbly before he remembered Cas can't see him. He quickly told him he's going to get Jo to organise it all as soon as he's hung up. He told Cas to pack his gear and he'll call him back as soon as it's finalised. With a heartfelt goodbye, he hung up his phone and goes to tell the group the good news.

-
Castiel hung up his phone with shaky hands and placed it on the bed beside him. He was in a daze. Did Dean really just ring him and tell him everything he had wanted to hear for almost two months? Surely he was still sleeping and he was going to wake up any minute and once again feel the pain of disappointment as he was dragged back into reality. But as he wiped away the tears from his eyes, he knew it was real. He flopped back down onto his bed and buried himself in the excessive amount of pillows that Gabriel had on the bed and giggled himself into frenzy where he had to control himself so he was able to breathe again.

"It's real" He breathed into the empty room before he resumed into a fit of giggles. Sure, they still had a lot of things to talk through and Castiel was under no illusions that it was going to be a hard few weeks, even months, before they were going to be back to how they were. But the feeling that Castiel had finally got what he had pined for outweighed the rocky road he was about to travel down because he was going to be with Dean and right now, that's all that mattered.

When he finally calmed himself down, he stood up from the bed and began to pack his suitcase again before he wandered around the house to collect all his laundry to pack. He had a massive grin on his face the entire time unable to wipe it off. He kept his phone on him as he awaited Dean's call. He would ring everyone he needed to inform of his departure as soon as Dean had rung with the details.

He was folding his laundry into his suitcase when his phone finally rang again. Knowing it would be Dean, he answered without hesitation.

"I'm almost finished packing, when am I leaving?" he asked in lieu of a greeting.

"God it's so good to hear your voice" Dean breathed into the phone which caused Castiel to bite his lip in order to stop himself from breaking out in giggles once more. "Jo's sorted out everything. You need to be at the airport at 5. Your flight is at 6.30 and you'll be landing half an hour after us so we'll wait for you at the airport and take you to the hotel with us in the van" Dean told Castiel. He always wanted to get the plan out of the way before anything else.

"Sounds great, Dean. I'll just have to sort out a few bits and pieces but I'll be there. I can't wait to see you" Castiel couldn't wait any longer. He bounced on the balls off his feet in excitement of seeing Dean again after so long. He needed to be with him now.

"Me neither, Sweetheart. I've missed you so much. Just a few more hours and we'll get everything back on track. Okay Baby?" Dean's voice was so sincere and loving that it made Castiel positively glow with happiness.

"Yes Dean. I've missed you too. I love you so much, Dean. I can't wait to just put all this behind us and move on with our life together"

"I love you too, Sweetheart. I'll let you do whatever it is you need to do. Let me know that you get on your flight okay, alright?" Dean was so genuine that Castiel ached to think that he had been alone without this man for so long.

"Yes Dean. I promise I'll let you know. Goodbye for now, Babe." Castiel didn't really want to say goodbye but he knew if he didn't get off the phone now he never would.

"Goodbye Cas. I'll see you real soon"

They quickly ended their call and Castiel immediately dialled Gabriel to let him know the news. His brother was somewhat hesitant saying that Castiel was rushing into this but Castiel wasn't having a bar of it. He knew where he needed to be and that was with Dean. Gabriel had always been overprotective of him and he wasn't letting up now. He just wished that he would back off sometimes and let Castiel live his life. He was grateful for Gabriel's concern but right now it wasn't what he wanted.

He ended his conversation once Gabriel had finally shut up and said he hoped it all went well in New York. Castiel smiled at the fact that he had been able to twist his brother's arm on the matter which he knew didn't happen very often.

After Gabriel, Castiel called Ellen and told her what had happened. She was over the moon that they had finally sorted out their issues and were going to talk them through. Castiel had never told her what it was that had actually happened but he suspected she knew enough about the situation from Jo.

Lastly, Castiel called Balthazar. The man was a lot along the same lines as Gabriel with his reaction. Castiel had called Balthazar every day since he had left to talk shop but also just to have someone to talk to as they had done when Castiel was still in LA. He missed his friend but it was great that they were still able to talk freely over the phone. Balthazar knew how much Dean meant to Castiel and was soon to congratulate Castiel on his progress with his boyfriend.

Castiel was so grateful for his support group over the past couple of months and he was constantly thanking them. He knew he was annoying them but the kindness and care they had offered him had left him in their debt and he just needed to tell them that even if they didn't want to hear it anymore.

Once everything was said and done, Castiel had a quick meal before he made his way to the airport. His nerves caused him to shake with excitement as he made his way to board the plane. In just a few hours he would be reunited with Dean and nothing, not even the screaming baby that he had to sit next to on the flight, could wipe the smile from his face.