POV- Beca

Meanwhile…

After walking almost the entire campus in search of the perfect picnic spot, we come across a shady area under a large pine tree and stop as if we're thinking the same thing. Jesse whips out his blanket and sets it down, carefully. Lining it up just right before pulling out his laptop. He squats to set his laptop down on the blanket, shrugging his shoulders to let his back pack fall before dropping down onto the blanket eagerly. He smiles up at me and pats the spot next to him, obviously wanting me to snuggle in and watch another chick flick.

I can't say no to that smile. I mean, it's not even like I'm head over heels for the guy, but I obviously can't get rid of him and he can be… somewhat endearing… at times. I curl my lip as if I'm genuinely disgusted. His hand goes to his chest and he pulls the most dramatic "boohoo" face I've ever seen. Then I take my spot next to him.

This is what we do. It's safe…

There are no intense feelings involved. No bitching or moaning. No pressure. Just our playful, yet noticeably platonic, banter.

We crack jokes about the dumbest things and play fight while couples around us are either arguing or making out in the over fertilized lawns of Barden University.

But, seriously...Who's got time for all that?

We sit in silence as we watch She's All That. Well,…Jesse watches it. I stop paying attention halfway through. I find myself thinking back to our first day at the station when he practically described the main character of this movie.

(And just about every other teen movie…)

Once the movie is over, as always, Jesse feels his philosophical fire has been rekindled. He starts a lightning round of random thoughts. It's the only thing I look forward to when watching movies with him.

"You know what I think when I look at how green the grass is here?" He asks, as he gathers his things and crams them into his backbag.

"How long it took to spread all that shit?" I crack, deadpanned.

His expression is similar to that of a wounded puppy. I smile lovingly to lighten the mood as he throws his bag over his shoulder and we start towards the dorms.

"Thanks for ruining that moment…" he rolls his eyes, playfully before continuing,"I was gonna say that I think about all the hard work that went into it. Ya know?" He looks down at me as if he really wants me to answer, but I know this face. He's on a roll and it's best to just let him finish. The corner of my mouth raises instinctively into a smirk as he starts again.

"Like…how long it took. And…what it looked like before. And, ya know…even if they DID cover it in shit… Look at it NOW…"

At this point, I stop listening. Only offering nods and other nonverbal responds when necessary.

My mind wanders to everything. From exams… to mixes I'm working on… to Chloe. I think about last night, when she came over. How I almost slipped and told her about my parents' divorce. About my mom joining the Marines and eventually eloping with some Lieutenant… How I almost let my guard down… How I cut the light off and almost turned my back to her so she could hold me, for once…

I just don't understand our friendship sometimes. But I mean I've never really had a close female friend.

They're ALL touchy, right?

And they giggle…like non-stop. And they blush. And cuddle.

Right?

And it doesn't bother me when Chloe does it because she's a girl. And she doesn't wanna make me carry her babies or anything like that.

Or does it not bother me simply because it's Chloe?

By the time we reach my dorm, Jesse's already gone through 5 philosophical metaphors. At the door, he takes my hands and smiles down at me, obviously waiting for something. I raise my eyebrows awkwardly, as I try to stall. It's not that I don't wanna kiss him.

Or wait, do I?

Chloe had that same look on her face last night. There was a lot more there though. Her eyes were so intense but so soft at the same time. It felt like she was looking through me. It made me feel so weak. But even though I felt so weak and defenseless under her gaze, I felt surprisingly safe.

Was she wanting me to kiss her? Or was that just her way of showing sympathy?

I don't know. It made my chest feel all warm and tingly.

Maybe it was just indigestion? I mean…we DID order Pizza…

"Beca, are you alright?" Jesse asks, bringing me out of my thoughts. I can hear irritation in his voice. I wonder how long it took him to notice I wasn't listening…

"I'm wonderful, actually" I lift up on my toes and kiss Jesse's cheek before exchanging goodbyes. I turn to unlock the door and see an invitation taped to the wood. I snatch it off, unlocking the door with my other hand as I read it:

SURPRISE GRADUATION PARTY

WHERE: AUDITORIUM

WHEN: NEXT FRIDAY 8PM

FOR: AUBREY

Wait…WHAT? Why aren't we throwing a party for Aubrey and Chloe at the same time?

I close the door behind me, reading over the invitation again to make sure I didn't misread something.

Nope.

I read it right the first time.

That's strange…