CHAPTER 12

POV- Beca

I spend the next four months as a hermit. Curled up in bed, making mixes and scrolling through tumblr. Leaving the room only when it's absolutely necessary… like, to eat and bathe.

I just don't feel like talking to anybody. Not Jesse. Not Chloe. Not Dad or the stepmonster…

I don't want to think about Jesse. Even though he's done nothing wrong… Thinking about him just reminds me how much of a dick I've been to him without him even knowing. It reminds me how much I really don't deserve him.

And thinking about Chloe just makes me crazy. Too many thoughts… too many freaking feelings. And half of them, I can't even explain.

This is why I don't like feelings…

But of course, I have to confront them eventually. Summer break is over before I know it, and I'm moving into my dorm at Barden University. I made SURE to get a single occupant dorm this year. I don't want another situation like last year with Kimmy Jin.

After setting up my room (It doesn't take much. I practically live out of suitcases and duffel bags), I make my way over to the Activities Fair to see how Stacie and Fat Amy are doing.

As I approach the table, I see a familiar redhead laughing and smiling with the Bellas.

Wait…is that Chloe? Didn't she graduate?

Before I can turn and make a run for it, I hear Fat Amy over everyone else at the fair, "Hey, 'alt girl'! Hey! …You! …With the eyeliner!"

"I'm coming! Geez!" I rush over the table hoping to silence her before she draws too much attention. I must say, I've missed her. And Stacie. I've missed ALL the Bellas actually…

There is an awkward silence as Fat Amy and Stacie wait for me to greet Chloe. Or, vice versa. Clearly unaware of what happened between us last semester. I pretend to distract myself with the flyers on the table. Actually committing enough to open one and flip through it.

"Hey…" I finally hear Chloe say. Her voice soft and nervous, as if unsure what to say.

"Hey." I force a smile, hoping it doesn't come across as a grimace.

"Ooh, Did you tell Beca?" Stacie interjects, excitedly, "I know she wasn't around when you made the announcement."

Announcement?

Chloe's face lights up momentarily as she realizes what Stacie is talking about. "Oh, uh…I picked up a double major. I'll be here for another 2 years or so… Studying dance."

Well, that's great. As much as I didn't want to talk to her these past 4 months, I'm REALLY glad to know I'll still see her around.

I swallow nervously, trying (probably failing) to look cool and composed. Not wanting to show how excited I really am about this information. I spent most of last semester counting the days until graduation. DREADING it.

Not CONSCIOUSLY, of course. It was more of a "Damn, today's the 20th? Graduation while be here in no time!" Sort of deal.

'Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, relieved, but still somewhat upset to be left out of the loop.

"Well… I figured I'd surprise you," Her bright eyes meeting mine as she flashes a shy smile, "and we didn't really do a good job keeping in touch over the summer…"

Well… Don't I feel like an ass.

I smile back, hoping she can sense my apology.

I know it's my fault that we haven't talked. It's not like she didn't try. She called everyday over the summer. Hoping I'd eventually answer. Jesse called too. Even a few of the Bellas called over the break, but they all stopped after a while. The only person who stuck with it was Chloe. She even left a few voicemails. Nothing too overbearing, just something to say she cared and she hoped I was safe and having fun. (And the only reason I know this is because I found myself listening to them whenever I missed her…which happened way more than I like to admit.)

"We should catch up. " She suggests. Biting her lip nervously.

Why does she have to be so cute? It makes it hard to say no sometimes…

I smile at the thought."We should…," I agree, feeling my knees weaken a little when she smiles back.

"Well…," Chloe turns to face Stacie and Fat Amy again, "I'ma go check out the dance club."

The excitement in her eyes as she starts towards the dance table is maybe the cutest thing I've ever seen. I remember all the talks we've had about her love for dancing. It came up more and more once she found out about her nodes.

I find myself getting lost in thoughts of Chloe dancing. The way she smiles whenever she's dancing… the way she'd practically SKIP across my dorm in her sweats and sports bra whenever she came over to help me with my choreography…

"We should catch up" Fat Amy mocks. Batting her eyelashes at me exaggeratedly.

I roll my eyes and turn to leave as I feel my cheeks burn at their teasing. Leaving them to giggle at some inside joke.