Well, sorry to inform you guys of this, but a week has passed since I updated my status on facebook. It's tragic I know, but some things are to be sacrificed for the greater goo-

SAKURA! GREAT NEWS!

Sup Inner?

I just updated our status!

To what?

Ehem, it now says, and I quote, 'LMS BITCHES! Totes gunna get laid by some foxy dudes! lol ;)'

But we aren't!

. . . Well shit, gunna update it to 'Super Virgin will always be a cock block D:'

Haha, funny Inner.

I tuned out her facebook rant and stared at the ceiling. A week literally passed since you last heard from me. In that time I rode gorgeous flying rainbow monkeys to never land. By the way, that's a lie. I actually got acquainted with the group of males that roam the halls. I also finally got a room and food.

Anyway, in all seriousness for once, I shall explain my findings here. Recorded for your eyes only. The first finding was the easiest as I learned-

That they all have HUGE dicks!

INNER OH GOD! This is supposed to be serious!

Let me lock her up real quick . . . done, thanks for waiting.

Anyway, the easiest thing to learn was that I am the only girl in this 'base'. The group here calls themselves the 'Akatsuki' which explains the red clouds upon my entrance here. All together there are 10 members . . . umm 9. (Please don't make me explain this, I already went over the fact that I am no longer allowed anywhere near the sink or plants.) This also does not include our little 'Dumpling', which I haven't seen for awhile now.

The leader of the group would be Pein, the singing lion. He seems pretty serious most the time is what I would say if it weren't for the fact that whenever I run across him he seems to be singing a new song, even adding his own choreography. He has a 'God' issue and believes he can bend someone to his will.

Or his bed!

GET BACK IN YOUR SHIT CAGE!

. . . Ew.

Anyway, next off the list to check off would be Diedara. The blonde artist that always manages to come whining to me about having clay stuck in his hair. His beautiful, shiny hair that he won't tell me how he takes such good care off!

Whoa, chill Sakura

One day, I will hold the secret to his silky hair.

And to get payback for withholding that valuable information from me, I will continue my report on him. He is mistaken as a girl often, everyday. No joke. Someone always forgets. Many attempts have been made to get in his pants by someone who's name will be kept anonymous.

coughHidancough.

Inner, do you need a cough drop?

Nope, I'm okay, continue Saku.

Kisame is of course, the mountainous shark demon dragged from the very pits of hell for one reason alone. To call me names.

This is very professional Sakura.

Thank you Inner!

He's quick to temper and will fight without hesitation. But of course that's when I make sure he remembers his place.

Kicking him in the balls counts as putting him inn his place?

Duh?

Other than that, he's pretty much like the caring older brother I never had.

Aww, that's the sweetest thing you ever said.

The older shark brother that will eat someone after he pulls a cage out of his ass that smells like shit with a slight odor of bean burrito.

I take that back, your nasty.

Moving on, I would love to rant on about Itachi, but in all honesty, I haven't seen much of him since my arrival. But on the occasion when I do see him, he's curled up reading a book with a solemn look on his face. He looks so peaceful when he reads, so I decided to let him have his space. Other than that, I sometimes see him in the kitchen in a pink frilly apron. Making food. But that's really all I could dig up on him.

Then we have the wall with arm-

The perverted wolf, Hidan.

Oh, right. Thanks Inner.

I try avoiding him as much as possible. But I always end up running into him eventually. Every corner, every hall, every closet. Hell, I spotted him in my shower once! But other than his pervertedness he has a foul mouth. He also takes pleasure in the pain that is dealt to him. Fucking. Creepy.

I still say we tap that willing piece of ass.

Kakuzu- the money grubbing badger . . . that eats mushrooms. No, he actually isn't found of mushrooms in any way shape or form. He is found of money though. He hates spending it. That's why he squealed like a pussy when I put a few new holes in the wall. But after that we're cool.

And in debt.

Hush, don't tell them that.

Other than that he's pretty much still a mystery to me.

I only ever met Sasori once. But from what I hear, he likes poison and dolls.

Puppets Sakura, Puppets.

Dolls puppets same thing.

No they aren't dolls are sluts and puppets are loyal.

Whatever.

He holes up in his room working on his art. His eternal puppets. Or whatever the fuck it is he mutters on about in his room or argues with Diedara about. But when he does come out it's normally just for food. And I don't eat with the guys so I never see him.

Tobi. I fucking love Tobi. We run around and play and screw people over and play pretty parlor. Oh god man, he is my best friend. He is a 'god boy' and is extremely affectionate. He doesn't act his age at all, he is a total child at heart. Wouldn't have it any other way either! I just wish he would take off his mask on occasion.

He must have his reasons Sak.

I know.

R.I.P. Zetsu. I'm sorry man, I didn't know.

Alright, I'm gunna talk about the last guy now. His name is Madara. I apparently met him once, but can't recall being in his presence at all. I don't know much about him since everyone refuses to talk about him. Well, either refusing to or to scared to. I have a feeling in my gut that I'll be adding more about him in the research later. One can only hope.

The base itself is never ending. Small appearance on the outside is meant to be deceiving, which it is. Gosh damn it's good at it's job. Only a small portion near the door is used for housing, in fear of the members being lost in the labyrinth of halls. Whatever is in the back rooms is remaining a secret. Well, until someone goes back there and I follow.

The world itself has no name, so I named it after what was my safe haven back in reality. 'Super happy rainbow llama ranch where you can get high off your ass'. SHRLRYCGHOYA for short.

And if you believed I named it that you are high riding a rainbow llama. No. I named it Amegakure. I don't know why. Just seemed fitting in a way.

I would have named it 'Warning Hot Asses Live Everywhere' or WHALE.

That's beautiful.

I know.

This is all the information I was able to gather upon my whereabouts and captors. For now at least.

I typed this up quickly because I got ONE review. See the power of just one review? It makes me motivated! Makes me brain juices be flowin. True, it's pretty much all information you already know but I feel it is necessary just to help me keep my facts straight and to show you how OOC the characters are going to be. And yes, I noticed Sakura was a little more serious than usual, but you have to understand that she's doing it to make sure you understand that no matter how fun she makes her situation seem, she is still aware of any dangers she could be in. i know I didn't put much down on our little 'Dumpling' but that's because I really don't know what I'm doing with him yet. As an afterthought, I did not mean for that to spell 'WHALE' it was a complete coincidence. Anyway, reviewing = motivation = chapters. Also, I think my keyboard wants me to type like Eridan because of all the double 'w's and 'v's.