Travels through the Alphabet with Mai
Part 22: Vacuous
Mai tapped her fingernails against the tabletop, a certain sign of her irritation.
"What does any of this have to do with me?"
Akira, Mai's mother, tapped her own rhythm right back. Her long scarlet nails looked like drops of blood against the dark wood of the table. "Her daughters are coming along as well, Mai. I expect you to entertain them."
The fourteen year old snorted before taking another bite of her dinner. "Entertain? Me?"
"Yes, Mai, you; it will be good practice for when you have your own household."
"I don't like them. I don't want to spend time with them. Why can't they just hang around with you and Lady Sadako?"
"Come on now, Mai; you're all young ladies. Surely you can find something that you have in common." Mai's father, Hoshi, gave her a stern look and Mai knew that she was doomed.
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Three days later, Lady Sadako along with her two daughters arrived at Mai's home for a visit. One year earlier the Sadako family had moved away to the Fire Nation's second most important city, one on the opposite side of the main island. Before the move, the two mothers spent a lot of time together, dragging their families into the relationship. There were dinners and teas and shopping expeditions, all of which Mai tried to avoid. If she couldn't, she made certain that the boredom she felt showed clearly with every word and every action. The Sadako girls made their feelings known as well. Neither liked Mai. Neither appreciated her sarcasm or her ennui or her caustic observations. Maybe one day their mothers would figure it all out; the girls wanted nothing to do with one another.
Mai's mother was nothing if not dogged in her desire to mold Mai into some younger version of herself and women like Lady Sadako. She pulled Mai into social situations with slippery, manipulative ease and Mai, with as much ease, slid back out. It was a battle that threatened to continue on into perpetuity or until Mai left home, whichever occurred first.
The women embraced while the girls hung back, Mai leaning against the wall, her slouch deliberate, almost antagonistic.
"Mai, come say hello to Izumi and Kumiko." Akira gestured viciously with her thumb, the movement hidden by her side, caught up in the rustling silk of her robes, so that only Mai could see.
With cat like leisure, Mai yawned and pulled away from the wall. "Hello." She made that one word sound like it was being dragged up from the very depths of her body, fighting all the way.
The sisters, one year apart, exchanged a look that said, 'See, Mother, I told you she's a bitch. I told you she hates us.'
"Hello," Izumi, the older girl answered. She smiled with false brightness and in her eyes Mai saw anger and resentment glint.
At least she's smart enough to hate this too.
"Go on up to Mai's room, girls. Your mother and I are going to catch up over a nice cup of tea." Akira shooed them towards the staircase.
They all began the climb with reluctance. Furtive glances were given and received. Mai heard Lady Sadako say something about her still being 'sullen and aloof '. She smiled behind her hand, making sure to keep her pleasure secret.
Once behind the closed door of her room, without speaking any words, it was decided that the sisters would not interact with Mai and Mai need not interact with Izumi or Kumiko. Everyone was happy with the arrangement.
Perched on the edge of a settee, the sisters chatted about boys they might marry and the latest clothing styles and their hair and the next party they would attend. They spoke the same language her mother did, some foreign tongue Mai had only a passing familiarity with. And they had no interests beyond attracting the opposite sex and making a successful marriage, one in which love had no real place.
Mai wondered how much easier her days would be if she succumbed to the vacuous existence everyone deemed right and proper and appropriate. Izumi and Kumiko seemed content. Or perhaps they never thought of a life beyond the confines of parental and societal expectations.
Her parents would approve and just like that, Mai would be embraced as the good daughter who smiled when she should and looked forward to parties and showed interest in the young men of her class and put away her knives and refrained from bitter, cynical commentary and weary sighs and disinterested looks. They would show her off, expressions proud and smug. They would love her more.
But that kind of love did not interest Mai either. It was false, based on the idea of a daughter rather than the flesh and blood girl they had made, with all her faults and abilities, her positives and her negatives, her realness.
She sat on the bed and observed the girls, her glances surreptitious. They paid her no mind, so immersed were they in their sisterly talk. Mai picked at her nails and at the sheets and felt for the comforting shape of a holster and blade, disguised beneath layers of burgundy and black cloth. It was solid and sure, something she could depend upon, perhaps part of a future that would take her away from the emptiness she felt.
She got up and moved to the window, closing herself off from the animated talk. The girls sounded like no more than a faint breeze in the trees now.
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A/N: Thanks to Fireborn101 and ColoringTheRain for reviewing last time around.