Travels through the Alphabet with Mai
Part 25: Yearn
"Look, Mai." Excited, Ty Lee pointed. In the vastness of the sky, a star tumbled with dizzying speed, down toward the earth. "Quick, make a wish."
Mai didn't believe in wishes, not really. What was the point of giving voice to one's deepest desires? What was the point of trying to pin them down with words or even with unspoken thoughts? Some wishes could never adequately be expressed. She shrugged and pretended for her friend's sake.
"Okay, did it." She should have known that Ty Lee would poke and pry without relenting.
"What did you wish for? Don't give me that look, Mai. It can't be that big a deal." She stood on her toes, put her face up close to Mai's and stared deep into the older girl's eyes. "I can guess if you won't tell me."
"Ty Lee, let it go. You should know by now that I'm not the confessional type."
"Well, yeah, but we're friends." Implied was 'friends tell each other everything'. Mai had never been one to spew her thoughts and feelings. She preferred to keep them safe inside. That way no one could analyze or assume. But sometimes things unspoken had even more power.
"That's why you should know to leave me alone."
"Uh, you're so frustrating." Ty Lee threw her hands up and stalked away. She came back a few seconds later, unable to hold onto her anger. Mai watched the girl with wry amusement. "Fine; keep your wishes to yourself."
"Well, thanks, Ty Lee."
"I'll tell you what I wished for."
Mai gave her a small smile. "That's okay, Ty Lee. Maybe some things are better kept to yourself."
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Like other people, like other girls her age, Mai yearned for things. She hoped and she longed for life to open up and brighten and become something she could live rather than just tolerate. She yearned for freedom from the yoke of ridiculous expectations. Though she would never admit it, Mai wanted her parents to be proud, to love without conditions.
More than anything else, though, Mai yearned to see Zuko again; a quick glimpse would be painful but at least she would know he was all right, surviving his banishment, enduring as he always did. The chances of that were so terribly small and that knowledge made her ache inside. And should that wish be realized, would seeing him be a disappointment? Did he want to see her? Would he even remember the raven haired girl who blushed when his name was mentioned, when he came near, the raven haired girl who found some sort of comfort in his presence and who tried to give that same feeling back?
Until she did meet Zuko once more, that would remain a mystery. Until then, Mai had nothing but yearning to keep her company.