I looked through the phone book for Sandy's number wondering if what I was about to do was the right thing, when I finally found it I stared at the phone for a while then slowly picked it up, right as I was about to dial the number soda came in

"whatcha doing?" he asked staring at me then the phone

"i, uh, I'm gonna call two bit, ask him if he wants to go see a movie tonight" I said, I hadn't expected soda walk in and my excuse was really lousy I knew he would never fall for it

"okay" he said, he grabbed his DX hat and walked out

I felt a rush of relief wash over me as he exited the room, I stared at the phone one last time and thought it would be better if I wait till get got back from work

I heard darry talking to soda later when they got home "pony hasn't been looking to good lately, I want ya to keep an eye on him tonight and make sure he's doing ok"

"he's been acting a bit strange when I see him, do you think it could have something to do with what happened last night?" soda asked

"i don't know, ya think we should call Dr. Kane?"

"what ever you thinks best, it might also be the thought of me fighting in Vietnam, maybe he's worried I'm gonna leave off and get killed"

I stiffened when I heard that, soda was right I was worried about him dying, but yet it wasn't what was bothering me, I honestly feel fine, but my head's telling me different as if something's gonna happen one day that will change my life

"I'll call the doctor tomorrow" darry said and finished setting the table

"want me to call him in for dinner"

"sure, keep an eye on em though" darry replied, I heard soda's footsteps and I saw him peek through the door

"dinner's ready, darry's making pork chops" he said

I didn't reply

"you okay pony"

"yeah I'm fine there's just a lot on my mind right now"

soda went back into the kitchen and I looked back at the phone, how was I gonna get soda to talk to her, there's no way he'd do it if I said Sandy's on the phone, I got up and walked down the hall, I sat down and felt kinda dizzy

"need an aspirin pony" darry asked

I looked over at him and shook my head, despite the pain from all the mess running through my

mind

darry and soda talked a bit but my mouth stayed shut, I didn't even touch my plate, it felt like it had been weeks since I've eaten dinner, all the events taking place have been messing with me, and the fears of losing soda

I went into the bedroom and picked the phone up again, I dialed Sandy's number and heard the ring, the noise stabbed my brain but I knew this problem had to be settled

"hello" I heard a voice

"it's ponyboy, soda's brother, he needs to talk to you" I said then put my hand over the speaker "soda there's a call for you" I said hoping he would at least say hi to her

he ran in as fast as he possibly could "who is it"

I froze this was it, I doubt he'd want to answer it if he knew it was sandy "a friend"

he took the phone and I walked out of the room, I stood beside the door listening "hello?"

"hi soda, ponyboy told me you wanted to talk to me"

I could hear the confusion in his voice "he said you wanted to talk to me"

"maybe he just meant we wanted to talk to each other, I'm sorry about everything I did to you, I really did love you soda"

I heard nothing but silence "i loved you too, but now we live separate lives, there's no excuse for what you did to me"

"i said I'm sorry and I mean it, there's nothing I could of done to save the baby's life, things like this happen and we can't control it"

"I'm talking about how you cheated on me, it really hurt me sandy, you knew I cared about you, you knew it would hurt me, you knew it was what you wanted"

"soda I didn't mean to do that do you..."

"you should of thought about that sooner" he said and hung up

my heart raced and I knew I had made the wrong decision, I saw soda come out with hate and sorrow in his eyes, the expression on his face showed how he felt, trying to make something better only turned into something worse

soda put his shoes on and went outside, I raced to the door and saw him walking down the street, the street lights shining on his face showed he was crying, now it wasn't just sandy who hurt him, it was me

soda eventually came back, but he was gone for at least two hours, when he got in bed he didn't say anything, he laid down and fell asleep, the night was silent

when I got up he was getting ready for work, I looked at the time and got dressed for school, the only conversation was darry asking me how I slept last night, I looked out the window and saw soda drive off with Steve, as I walked to school I thought about what a huge dent in his life I had just created

the whole day went by like that, I couldn't focus in class and I skipped lunch, when I got home two bit was lying on the sofa snoring like a pig, I slapped his arm "darry home yet" I asked

"nope, he should be here soon though" he said as he got up

I got some chocolate cake and that was pretty much all I ate for the night, soda came home late, I was watching TV and darry was fixing his bed, I looked at soda's face and I could see blood, scratches, and bruises, my jaw dropped

darry came in looking at a piece of paper, he looked up and said only one thing "what the heck"