AN: I know it has been a while, but finals were really crazy and wore me out. Plus I decided to take a small break to recuperate and catch up on stuff I have missed out on. So I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Enjoy.

Chapter 13

Heavy eyelids fought to try to open, but Callie felt so weak and then there was a searing pain in her lower abdomen that only brought confusion. She could feel a scratchy garment covering her body and could hear the steady beep of a heart monitor. The brunette groaned when she tried to move again only to cause the pain to become unbearable.

"Callie…Callie don't move okay?" The brunette could hear fear in her wife's voice and she was confused because she couldn't understand what would cause Arizona to be scared.

"Here is some water. I'm sure your throat feels dry right now," Callie was able to open her eyes to see the familiar walls of a patient room in the hospital and a small lamp that provided a small amount of light for the room.

"W-What happened Arizona?"

"Drink some water first," Arizona was hoping she wouldn't have to recount the events of the previous day. She had only really stopped crying moments ago and even now just looking at her confused wife was making it difficult to hold back her tears.

Callie took the small sip of water that Arizona provided her with, "Okay can you explain to me why I'm in itchy clothes and a stuffy hospital room?"

"Calliope…"

The heart break was written all over the smaller woman's face and it was then that Callie remembered lying in her bed at home as waves of pain overtook her. She could feel liquid running down her leg and when she rolled over to turn on the light she was met with a pool of blood surrounding her. The brunette was in so much shock as to what she knew was happening to her body. At the time the only thing she could think to do was go in the shower and let her body rid itself of the life that had been growing inside of her.

Arizona had come home a half an hour later to find a bed that resembled a crime scene and a traumatized wife curled up in the shower. On their way to the hospital Callie had lost consciousness due to blood loss and had to have an emergency DNC.

After the surgery all the blonde could do was hold Callie's pale hand that was beginning to regain some of its color back. There was a part of her that wanted to blame her for not being there for the brunette when it all happened. Arizona had wanted to watch a tumor be resected out of a brain after her shift was over. She had tried to convince Callie to stay, but her wife had been complaining of cramps and remembering that had only made the guilt multiply.

" .No," Callie shook her head because this wasn't supposed to happen. They were going to start a family and now she had ruined that for them. "This is my fault right? I should have given up coffee all together an-an-and got more sleep or-"

Arizona moved to sit on the bed to scoop her broken wife up into a comforting hug, "This was not your fault," she spoke into dark hair, "Do you hear me Calliope Torres? It was not your fault. An awful thing has happened to us and it had nothing to do with you."

"Well if it wasn't my fault then why am I not still pregnant? Oh yeah, because I did something that caused me to have a miscarriage."

"Hey enough," Arizona pulled back to look at her wife, "Look at me Calliope," she waited until the brunette met her gaze, "I love you and what happened had nothing to do with you. Callie you're a doctor these things happen and there isn't always an explanation for that. So please don't blame yourself because I don't okay?"

There were tears streaming down both of their faces as they held on to each other trying to keep the other from breaking a part because it was clear this battle was not going to be an easy one for them.

#######

Washington had great wildlife and Callie was enjoying the fresh air as she followed the trail to the top. Callie had to make a lot of rest stops for the raven haired boy who insisted on coming with. The brunette was going to drop him off at the daycare, but when he realized she would not be coming with he asked if he could go with her instead.

Callie explained on the drive to a nearby national park that once a year she liked to come up here to find peace for someone special she had lost. When Mikey asked if it was his angel all the brunette could do was nod and he understood to the best of his ability as to why his Mami had been sad for the past couple of days. He had begged her to bring his Mama with them, but Arizona had been called into an emergency surgery and Callie wasn't quite sure the blonde would agree to come with if she knew why they were going.

Mikey was so quiet that Callie had to keep looking over to see her little boy with his hands stuffed in his pocket kicking at rocks along the trail. She could see he was deep in thought as his brows furrowed together, but then it passed and he looked straight at her with that dimpled smile he got from being a Robbins.

Callie could feel the pain that usually came with this trip ease a bit and smiled right back at her son.

When they reached their destination Callie plopped down on damp grass to look across the valley of trees that covered the forest floor. The summer weather helped to keep them slightly warm with their light jackets.

"What do we now?" Mikey followed his Mami as he sat next to the taller woman.

"We sit and think."

"About what?"

"Anything."

"Hmm. What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing right now because this cute little boy keeps talking," Callie pulled Mikey in to lay a kiss on raven hair so he knew she was only joking.

"Sorry I'll be quiet now."

As they sat in silence Mikey thought that he could understand why his Mami would come here, because he could feel peace just looking at the beautiful view. At the same time though he felt like it wasn't enough for them.

Callie had tried to block out brown eyes watching her to just let herself be free of the heart ache this time of the year brought for her. The loss of her unborn child was indeed sad for the brunette, but there was also more that she lost afterwards which had only caused more pain in her life. Although where she would spend most times up here to grieve her loss now the brunette knew maybe this wouldn't be a tradition for her anymore. Callie had a feeling it had a lot to do with the little boy that sat next to her who had helped bring her together when he entered her life.

With eyes closed the calming breeze washed over the brunette as she laid into damp grass. If she was here on her own Callie might have allowed herself to drift off to sleep she felt that relaxed.

"AARRRGGHHH!"

"Holy-," holding tight to her chest Callie jumped so fast on her feet as she looked around, "Mikey you can't just scream like that." It was clear the boy was in no harm as he stood calmly a few feet away.

"I didn't mean to scare you Mami, but now I feel better. Maybe you should try too."

"That's not necessary I feel great you don't need to worry about me mijo that's my job."

"Well do it cuz it's fun," Mikey began jumping around imitating a monkey, "E-e-e, o-o-o"

The little boy had his mother laughing hard as he let lose acting just like a boy his age should.

If the boy was having this much fun, Callie figured maybe Mikey did have a point, "AHH!"

"That's it Mami? Come you can do better than that. GRRR," he snarled back with raised arms.

Their screaming and laughter filled the once quiet park as the two continued with their back and forth antics. Callie might have harbored the pain of loss for so many years, but the time she was spending with Mikey now taught her that she was wrong. This little boy was teaching her how to move on and enjoy what life was giving her in the moment and in this moment she felt free.

#######

Arizona was practically skipping to the ortho wing to see her amazing girlfriend. Yeah Callie had said yes to be her girlfriend two weeks ago and things couldn't get any better than their new relationship status for the blonde.

Although the past couple of days the brunette had been a little quiet and Arizona tried to ask what was going on, but all she got was that Callie had a long day at work. Arizona was hoping that the news, which was a mini vacation for the family, might help pick up her girlfriend's mood. The blonde had planned on taking them to visit her parents in Baltimore, where they could all go camping like promised to her son for his fifth birthday. She had nothing against Washington's camping grounds, but Arizona thought it might be nice for Mikey to see where she had been living for the past five years and see his grandparents he couldn't stop talking about.

The blonde waved to the familiar faces of the nurses on Callie's floor who had become very familiar with the PEDs surgeon. Arizona tried not to make a habit of visiting the brunette all the time other than lunch, but she couldn't get enough of her girlfriend. Five years really taught her to appreciate the other woman and Arizona knew better than to take their time for granted.

When Arizona arrived at the nurse's station she greeted her favorite nurse on this floor Nancy, "Hey Nancy how are the grandkids?" The older woman had always been welcoming to the blonde and had only on a few occasions rolled her eyes at the overexcited surgeon.

"Oh they're doing great Dr. Robbins. How's Mikey been?"

Anytime someone mentioned her son the smile she always wore grew brighter without question. Arizona glowed as a mother and she really loved talking about Mikey to others. "He's doing really great. Especially since he's turning five soon he thinks he needs more chores around the apartment," she was baffled at first when Mikey came to them a couple mornings ago stating as the man of the house he was not helping as much as he should have been. The couple had tried to keep their laughs from bubbling out because they were sure Mikey was spending too much time with Mark and his new girlfriend who definitely had put the plastics surgeon in his place on multiple times.

"Well that won't last for long because once their teenagers they complain to do chores," responded Nancy.

Arizona tried not be frightened by that, but she couldn't help that she never wanted Mikey to grow up, "I really hope not," she sighed.

"I know you didn't come up here to ask about my day, but we haven't been informed of any patients up here for you either. So what brought you here Dr. Robbins?"

"Yes, right I was actually came here to talk to Calliope have you seen her?" the blonde tried looking around as if her girlfriend would magically appear in front of her.

"Dr. Torres? No, she called in sick today," the nurse could see confusion and then worry all over the blondes face.

"Did she say what with?" Arizona couldn't remember Callie ever complaining of being sick.

"Nope Dr. Torres just said she was sick, but every year this day she calls either taking a personal day or claiming to be ill." Nancy was hoping that small information would help give a hint as to what the ortho surgeon might have been up to but the blonde only looked more confused at the news.

With that she was out of the ward trying to find someone who can give her any more information on Callie's whereabouts and now her son's since she knew Mikey was with her before she left to the hospital.

"Mark, hey hold up!" Arizona wasn't one for shouting in the hospital but she had been looking everywhere for Callie's best friend and she had finally found him walking out of the OR.

"Whoa where's the fire Blondie?" he said in a teasing voice, but the panic on her face immediately caught his attention, "Is there something wrong with Cal or Mikey?"

"No, I don't know that's why I've been looking for you. Do you know where Callie is? I called her and her phone is off and the landline in the apartment is going unanswered too." Arizona was so worried that they could have been in an accident, but then again nothing had come through the ER so that put some of her fears at ease.

Mark wracked his brain for anything that might be useful for frazzled mother, "Right I saw them in the hallway when I was coming to work. Mikey was shouting about going on a hike, but Callie was pretty tight lipped. I'm sure their fine Arizona that was an hour ago and there probably is no cell reception." He rested his hand on the blondes shoulder in a comforting gesture, but it was shrugged off.

"It doesn't make sense though why wouldn't she tell me? I have no problem with her taking the day off to take Mikey on a hike, but as his Mama I would like to know where my son is."

"I'm sure she forgot Robbins. It's not like you guys have really been separated all that much since she agreed to be your girlfriend," he smirked when her frown was replaced with a grin.

"I know," she sighed, "I worry about them and with her being distant recently it scares me. It's not fair for me to hold this against her, but sometimes I think she's going to run away again." Arizona had this thought the first month of finding her son a lot, but now with Callie giving her the silent treatment that fear came back.

"No way would Callie make the same mistake twice. She loves you too much and most days I can't get her to stop talking about you. Talk to her when she gets back I'm sure it's not as bad as you think," the older man really hoped for the sake of the women that all was well. He had endured too many nights of Callie crying on his shoulder over her disastrous relationships before and was hoping they were done with that now.

"Okay, but if you hear from her please tell me I just want to know that their safe," the blonde spoke before making her way back down the hall.

Arizona hadn't heard from Callie all day in it was nearing 7 at night and her shift didn't end for another two hours, but she couldn't take the silence anymore and had called it a day feigning sick too. Although she was starting to feel ill with worry as she sat outside Callie's apartment door.

The blonde would have let herself inside if she had a key, which had yet to be made since they were busy with work. Arizona hadn't moved in with Callie she just never left and the brunette never complained. In fact one weekend when Arizona said she was going back home Callie was caught off guard because she thought her place was the blonde's home. Callie never said anything about her girlfriend moving in, but when there was a knock on her apartment door in the middle of the night from a pajama covered Arizona it was a silent agreement that she stayed with them.

If Arizona had to sit on the hard floor of the apartment hallway for another hour she was sure her girlfriend was going to have to fix her back. She tried to focus on that pain instead of the one in her heart that was making her think of the 'what if's' that could have happened to her missing family.

The ding of the elevator broke the blonde of her thoughts as she heard two of her favorite people make their way out of the elevator.

Arizona was supposed to be mad, but when Mikey rounded the corner and ran towards the smaller woman shouting, "Mama!" she immediately perked up.

"Hey little man," Arizona scooped him up as she stood her height peppering his face in kisses, "I missed you so much."

Mikey looked up with warm brown eyes and a dimpled smiled, "I missed you too," he spoke in hushed voice as if it was a secret between the two before placing a kiss on her nose.

The blonde could feel brown eyes of her girlfriend's boring into her as she tried to get a read on Arizona. She chose to ignore Callie for now, "Where have you been Mikey?"

"Hiking!" he almost jumped out of her arms in excitement. "It was so much fun. Why didn't you come with? Mami took me out for ice cream too and I got your favorite," he said as his face turned sour at the memory.

"Why the face strawberry is the best," the blonde followed Callie into the apartment and made her way to the living room to continue her conversation with the raven haired boy.

"Nope chocolate," Mikey moved his head to whisper into his Mama's ear, "I helped make Mami happy so you don't have to worry about her anymore."

Arizona pulled back to look at her son who looked so proud of himself, but could only feel sad that he knew how to make Callie happy when she had tried so hard to figure out what was wrong.

As the blonde looked to the taller woman in the kitchen she could tell whatever had been weighing down Callie's mood had definitely been lifted. She felt relieved yet when brown eyes met hers Arizona was also hurt that Callie would not trust her enough to confide in her.

"I'm making spaghetti for dinner," Callie said as she help up a box of noodles.

"That's fine," Arizona looked back at the small boy still in her lap, "Mikey why don't you go to your room and clean-up for dinner time. I have to talk to Mami-"

"No, Mikey go wash your hands and come straight back," interjected Callie.

The little boy was not fazed by the tension building in the room, "M'kay"

When he left Arizona glared at the woman in the kitchen, "We need to talk."

Callie quickly looked up before going back to dinner, "After dinner."

So Arizona waited a very long and quiet dinner for the talk she was prepared to have with Callie. Even Mikey knew whatever was about to happen between his moms was serious and made it his duty to listen when it was bed time.

The apartment was silent as Arizona made her way out of the now sleeping boy's room to the living room where Callie was seated with her back facing the blonde.

Arizona didn't even go to sit down because she had been so worried all day that the only thing she could now do was pace in front of the brunette, "I called."

"My phone died."

"You should have told me where you went Calliope. I was so scared that something bad might have happened and all I could do was sit and wait, because you couldn't freaking tell me!" she shouted the last part.

"Arizona, do you even know what today is?" responded the brunette in the same harsh tone.

The blonde thought hard for anything to come to mind, "Tuesday? I'm not sure Callie can you help me out?" Arizona was annoyed at the question from Callie.

"Six years ago today I lost our baby," Callie was staring at her hands as she spoke in a whisper.

"Oh…" Arizona hadn't thought about the miscarriage for a while now and the date had not been at all on her mind. Although now it made sense why Callie had been distant, but she couldn't understand why she never came to the blonde for comfort.

"Yeah I figured you wouldn't remember," the brunette scoffed at the smaller woman.

Arizona was trying to keep up with the brunette, "If you had just talked to me about all of this I would have been there for you. I could have come along with you and Mikey. I'm your girlfriend-"

"You were my wife once Arizona and I don't ever remember you being there for me then. We made vows to one another and what? I lost our baby and I wasn't good enough for you to talk to me? But wait, since we have a son now I suddenly become a convenience to you? Well it doesn't work that way Arizona, because I can't just trust you at all without fearing that I might become too much for you again and you'll run away from us."

"Me run away? I believe that was you right, with our son whom I only met recently since you felt the need to not include me in your life."

"Because you abandoned me I had no clue what else to do!"

The two women were on a roll with throwing each other's faults at the other. And what they had both thought were issues they were over. It was clear though that they had only scratched the surface and it was time to deal and move on or pick up what was left and go back to just being Mikey's mommies.

"And I have regretted that decision for the past five years, but I'm here now Callie. I want to be a part of your life even when you think I won't care I promise I will. Why couldn't you just talk to me? I thought we were starting over."

"Would you have come with if I asked?" Callie answered with a question curious to know if Arizona really wanted to be a part of her life and what the brunette chose to do.

The blonde sighed as she looked away from questioning brown eyes, "I don't see the point of going out in the wilderness to remember the life we lost."

"See I knew you weren't all in…"

"Wait I'm not saying I wouldn't go there to support you. I just don't understand the point of it all when we have a healthy boy and a happy life now why it's necessary to dwell on the past."

"I know," Callie blew the hair from her eyes and looked up to the blonde who was still standing in front of her. "When I was there with Mikey that peace I've been looking for was finally there. It's just this shouldn't be our life Arizona. W-we're supposed to be married with a big f-family and a house not this," the brunette motioned around her.

At the sight of brown eyes filling with tears Arizona moved to sit next to the taller woman, "Hey it's okay," the blonde gently pulled Callie to face her, "So our life isn't what we planned for, but we can fix that. We'll find our dream house and fill it with all of those kids I once promised you," Arizona spoke with a reassuring smile, "And this time when I marry you there is no running away for both of us."

"Y-y-you want to marry me again?" Arizona's heart broke with how small her girlfriend's voice sounded.

Answering with a kiss to plump lips the blonde looked back into her lovers face, "Of course Calliope. If I had it my way I'd marry you now, but we need time to reconnect and I have all the time in the world for you."

Callie leaned in for another kiss that was supposed to be short and sweet, but grew with passion as both women tried to show how much love they had for the other. Pushing down on the smaller woman, Callie plunged her tongue in Arizona's awaiting mouth with fervor as her hands roamed over the clothed covered body.

They had yet to become intimate with each other always feeling it was best to wait, but after multiple occasions of heavy petting it was obvious that their wait was over.

Breaking away from the kiss Arizona tried to suck in a lung full of air as Callie moved her lips to suck on the blonde's flushed neck. "I… we…uh," sentences were hard to form for the smaller woman while the feeling of her lover's hands moved to taught breasts, "Cal…Calliope bedroom."

The brunette was quick to stand up and even faster pulling Arizona along with her as their lips crashed to a frenzied kiss with tongues fighting for dominance. They bounced off of furniture as they blindly made their way to Callie's room.

Once the door was closed behind the women clothes were torn off and thrown in a pile as lips lingered on skin.

Arizona grabbed on to curvy hips as she pressed herself even closer to Callie's naked torso. The contact caused both women to moan out loud as they breathlessly stared into darkened eyes.

There was a silent understanding that their love making wouldn't be fast in order for that quick release they were sure would be just as amazing, but rather it was a moment they wanted to cherish the other.

Slowly moving to lie on the bed Callie held out her hand for Arizona to follow. As their bodies reconnected it was as if no time had passed between either of them instead it felt like they were coming home.

AN2: Okay good bad? I hope this wrapped up all of the problems set in the story and now we can all move on to happy times. I think there will be a few more chapters left before it comes to an end, but I'm opened to any suggestions.